by Matt Shaw
The canister told me everything I needed to know about what was going on in that room. A label on it suggesting it was both highly toxic and highly flammable. Clearly the person in there - calling out for freedom - was yet another test subject. Could have sworn Michael Bray - the lab rat I had found hiding in one of the many cabins… I could have sworn he said there was no ‘testing’ carried out here. There was a good chance my memory didn’t serve me correctly - what with all I have been through - but I felt sure he said the experiments were carried out elsewhere and the people - infected - were merely released here. But then, I didn’t know Bray other than the fact he was a lab rat for the assholes running this place. What reason did he have to tell me the truth? Could have been a lie in an effort to save himself. It wouldn’t surprise me. I think it’s fair to say nothing will surprise me again.
I continued my escape bid and made my way to the cabin edge. I stayed there long enough to let two sets of feet walk on by and around the corner. Satisfied they were gone, I rolled across to the next cabin; an idea formulating in my mind.
All the way here I was thinking about setting off an explosion. I wasn’t sure exactly how my plan would work other than the fact there had to be flammable liquids around here; or something highly combustible at least. But - thinking about it now - maybe that isn’t the best way to get them off my back. After all, it wouldn’t take them long to sort out an explosion and (potential) resulting fire caused by it. And it certainly wouldn’t take everyone to deal with it. But…
Those canisters.
If I could find where they were kept and maybe undo the tops of them, or maybe cause an explosion with those and release some of that shit into the atmosphere… Maybe that would give me room to breathe? Surely if enough of it is released I’d be able to infect at least some of the fuckers milling around the place? They would then attack some of the other soldiers and lab geeks roaming around and they - in turn - would become infected; just like Sister was. I’m sure they’d be able to get it under control after a while but not until I am well and truly clear of any danger and - by then - they’d be more worried about stopping that from happening again than trying to find one quiet person… And I would be quiet. I’d slip off the radar. Go back to mum and just keep my head down. Let her help me get over this whole fucked up experience. Would I even tell her? I’d have to. She’d see something is wrong. I couldn’t hide it from her. Not this. She’s too clever.
A series of thuds came from the cabin I’d just rolled away from, making me jump. It sounded as though someone was being thrown around in there, or at least throwing themselves against the side of the building. I didn’t dare move as I knew the loud bangs would attract attention from elsewhere too. And I was right. The people who’d only just walked on by appeared again; hurried footsteps towards the other cabin. The door opened before they got there and the man who’d dropped the keys came staggering out; a mask on his face.
“What the fuck is going on in there?” one of the other men asked.
The masked man slammed the door shut and locked it with the keys he pulled from his pocket.
“He turned immediately!” he shouted when he took the mask off. “I literally held the mask up to his face and turned the gas on and he fucking turned… Blink of an eye. I only just managed to get the cage shut so I could get away from him… He broke the chains and everything!” the man continued. “They’ve changed the formula! They must have! I didn’t even use the whole dosage.”
“Wait - what? Tell me you closed the valve on the canister?”
“Of course I did. Jesus. What do you take me for?”
“Is he secure?” the second man butted in.
The (once) masked man ignored the second man’s comment, “We need to find a new way to administer this stuff. If we’re going to get no time delay between giving them a sniff and them changing, it’s far too dangerous to do it this way. He could have fucking killed me. Where’s Dr. Plouffe?” he asked.
“You really want to bother her because you got scared?”
“It’s dangerous. It’s an accident waiting to happen. They have changed something in those canisters and made it more potent. They can’t do that without warning us first. Someone has to say something…”
“Maybe they did it on purpose? Maybe they’re looking for a way of killing all you lab rats?” the second soldier laughed.
“Fuck you,” the (once) masked man stormed away in the opposite direction.
“Come on,” the second man turned to the first, “we should check he really is secure in there.”
“You got the key?”
“Yeah I have a set of masters. They still not trust you with them?”
“Honestly, lose one set and they never forgive you…”
I turned away from the scene and crawled towards the middle of the cabin to ensure I was out of their line of sight. A little more of my plan coming into fruition; I get in that cabin and I get to that canister… And then I simply open the valve and get the fuck out of there. That guy - the one who took the can in there to begin with - he’ll come back with this Dr. Plouffe and - done - they’re both infected. They attack anyone else who decides to go in and check in on them and - hopefully - there’ll be a domino effect as more and more become infected. It might not be the best plan - especially as I don’t know whether simply holding my breath will stop me from becoming infected - but given the circumstances it’s the best I have to offer. And if I do become one of those infected bastards… Well hopefully I will still help to spread the infection around the rest of the base camp. The way I see it, I do not really have much to lose at this point… The only real problem with the plan is that I first need to deal with the two assholes who’ve just gone inside and - what’s more - I need to be quick about it.
A quick check around me to see if the coast was clear and I pulled myself out from underneath the cabin. I reached for my belt, where I’d put the knife, and pulled it from where it rested. I never was much of a fighter… Need to make this surprise attack count.
* * * * *
BEFORE
A Gentle Soul
My eye was sore. I already knew that it was going to swell up. My nose was hurting too; a shooting pain that went from tip to brain relentlessly and had been as such from the moment my classmates fist connected with it. What was the reason? Why did he lash out? I must have said something. I know I must have said something to get such a reaction but - what was it? What the hell did I do to deserve this?
Of course I retaliated. I hit back. For what it was worth. I most definitely came off worst and now - to add insult to injury - my mum had been called at her work place. Before she could take me home, she had to have a meeting with The Head.
Zero tolerance on fighting, they said.
I know I’ll be facing a suspension. The other boy - he might get worse. It’s not the first time he has been in The Head’s office. Maybe this will be the final straw that sees him thrown from the school? I hope so. I don’t want to see him again.
I looked towards The Head’s secretary. Even she looked angry at me. It’s strange - all of these disapproving looks… All of these private conversations in shut off rooms - all centred around me - and yet none of them bother me. None of them are causing me much room for concern. The only one that’s on my mind is the conversation I’ll be having with dad when he gets home from work. He’s often late home. Sometimes so late I am already in bed. Sod’s Law dictates that tonight is the one night he is home early though. The one night I can’t escape his harsh words by pretending to be asleep.
Please God don’t let him come home early.
The door to The Head’s room opened and mum came out. She looked upset. A wave of guilt rushed through me. I caused that. She walked over to me and told me to get my bag (which was on the floor nestled between my feet). She was angry. More than that, she was disappointed. She hadn't even asked if I was okay yet, nor had she asked me for my side of what happened. I bent down, picked my bag up, and
jumped off the chair. She thanked the secretary (for what I don’t know) and headed for the door. I followed with my tail between my legs.
The drive home was more or less in silence. Mum did finally ask whether I was okay after telling me that I’d been suspended for a week. A week? That wasn’t bad. It could have been worse. She looked worried, though. I guessed that was because she too was concerned with how dad was going to react to what I had done.
Eleven years old and suspended from school. Hardly something to be proud of.
Naturally the conversation with dad didn’t go well (when he did finally come home). He must have been told on the phone, before getting there, because when I went downstairs to see him - and face the music - he was standing there, in the living room, in front of the fire with his back to me. The look in his eyes when he turned around and looked at me. So many emotions right there and none of them good. Disgust, shame, anger…
By the time he finished berating me I was in floods of tears. The harsh words he used (I’m a nasty vindictive little bastard) destroyed me. He didn’t even care that I wasn’t the first to throw a punch. To him - the little details didn’t matter. He was all about the end picture. When he finally did finish shouting, and let me go to my room, I ran up there and slammed the door. Honey, my hamster, was up and running on her wheel in the cage. I walked over to her with such hatred flowing through my veins and - before I knew what I was doing - I was shaking the cage violently.
The age old scenario; man shouts at dog, dog bites cat, cat eats mouse.
The following day, I buried my hamster whilst wondering whether I’d ever be brave enough to aim my anger at those who deserved it; the ones who made me feel bad. Mum, unaware of the true reason my hamster died, comforted me with hot chocolate, extra marshmallow.
* * * * *
NOW
Leak
I plunged the knife in the neck of the first soldier and pulled it out. His back was to me and he never saw his attacker. As soon as the blade was removed - a fine spray of blood pumped out, hitting the wall on the other side of the small cabin. The man clutched at his wound as he fell to the floor with a thud. The second soldier turned around in time to see my teeth coming at him. With one hand on the side of his face, I pulled him close and took a chunk from his face. The speed with which I moved, the ferocity - all he did was scream as I spat his nose to the floor. Before he had a chance to do anything else, I brought the knife up into his gut with the blade angled upwards. Again, when I pulled the blade out, he dropped to the floor next to his comrade.
I wiped my mouth clean of gore and nestled the knife under my belt once more before bending down and taking the second soldier’s gun; a small pistol. I have no training with regards to fire-arms; never even had a pellet gun when I was growing up. I still figured it was better to have it on the off-chance I needed it though. Besides, as he bled out like a stuffed pig, he wasn’t going to need it. Nor was his colleague who was already dead.
“Please - you have to let me out of here,” a man said.
I turned my attention to the cabin. Four small cages (sitting room only) were lined against the wall. The last cage had an infected man in it - chained up like an animal. He was going mad; snarling and pulling at the restraints which kept him attached to the wall. One woman, two men in the other cages - all nervously waiting for their turn to be turned. All scared.
The canister - the very thing I came in here for - was on the floor next to the Infected bastard’s cage. I reached down to the second soldier and patted down his pockets until I heard the tell-tale sounds of keys jingling in his clothes. I smiled and reached for them, pulling them out.
“Come on - what are you waiting for - let us out!”
I turned to the man shouting at me and wondered upon the crime he’d committed to find himself shackled up in this cage. Or - maybe - he was like me and innocent in all of this? I don’t ask him. I’m not here to make friends. From here on in - I’m sticking only with my family.
“The keys are up there!” he told me.
He pointed behind me, to the wall. I turned and saw - hanging from a small hook - a silver key.
“Please. Look what they’re doing to people. You can’t just leave us here.”
I walked over to the key and removed it from the hook.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you…” he said.
I walked back over to the cages and collected the canister. I took it over to the door by the exit.
“What are you doing?” the man asked.
“You’ll need to be quick,” I told him.
“What are you doing?” he asked again.
I threw him the small silver key and took a deep breath. He knew exactly what I was going to do and fumbled around on the floor, looking for the key. He found it and started to work the lock as best as he could from the angle he was at. I - in the meantime - turned the valve on the canister releasing a plume of green smoke into the air. I kicked the canister over and it rolled back towards the cages. The three prisoners starter to scream as I opened the door, gun in hand, and made my escape.
Outside I checked around to ensure I was alone. To my relief I was. I closed the door and hurried back over to the space under the third cabin, letting myself breathe the fresh air. By the time I got underneath the cabin, the screams had stopped. I felt no guilt. It was entirely necessary. They have their part to play.
I wasted no time in crawling to the other side of the space. Need to be quick. Need to get out of here. Need to get home to mum. Need to put this whole fucked up situation behind me once and for all. I’m coming home, mum!
CHAPTER TEN
NOW
Broken
As I made my way from cabin to cabin - I couldn’t help but get stuck on the freshly-returned memory of killing my hamster. A cruel thing to do - one for which I felt shame for what felt to be the first time. An innocent life, snatched away from me for no other reason than I was an ill-tempered asshole. Was this the person I really was? I didn’t get my own way, or I got shouted at and I took my vengeance on those I felt I could hurt, as opposed to clashing with those I wanted to hurt? Was I never really a man and simply nothing more than a lowlife coward? I kept trying to turn my mind from the thought but - no matter what I did - it always returned to the same ones; I was a coward. Perhaps I deserved to be locked away in here?
I shook it from my mind again.
No.
I deserve to be at home.
If that was the person I was then I truly am sorry but that’s not me anymore. I swear. I’ve changed. I can change. I will change. I want to change. I’ll be good. If someone wrongs me, I will react accordingly to those individuals directly as opposed to venting towards those who cannot escape me. Wait. No… That would make me like him, the bully from school. Jesus - what was his name? What was it? Come on brain. Think. Why? Why do I even care what his name was? He’s long gone from my life and never likely to come back. I need to know his name though. I need to remember it. If I can’t remember his name, maybe the rest of the memory isn’t correct either? Maybe the rest of the memory is tainted by what I’ve gone through since being trapped here. No. Wait. His name…
His name was Ted.
I realised I was at the last cabin. Nowhere to hide after I roll from this one. I’ll be out in the open. Need to wait here for a moment, wait for someone to discover what I had done in the cabin. Go when everyone is distracted.
As I waited around, my mind drifted to thoughts of what was going on back at home. I wondered whether mum and dad even realised I had been missing. I also tried to piece together where their house was exactly. I can picture it. Interior and exterior. If I concentrate, I can even see the rest of the street too but the exact location… The exact location - at the moment - escapes me. I should be worried about that. Can hardly run off and live happy ever after with mum knowing full well that I can’t recall the address properly.
Don’t panic, John, you’ll remember it.
Memorie
s are slowly coming back to me. It’s just a matter of time before the address just pops up, right there, in my mind too. Just a matter of time. Yes but - until then - what do I do? Where do I go? Stop worrying about it. Just head into civilisation - away from this place and stress about it then. That’s all you can do.
I jumped at the sound of a shrill alarm piercing the night.
Looks like they’ve discovered what I’ve done.
I jumped again at the sound of gunfire and screams.
This is it. Time to make a run for it.
I looked around again - a final check to ensure I wasn’t about to run straight into trouble. Coast is clear. More gun shots coming from the cabin, and more screams; along with panicked shouting which I couldn’t quite make out. The distraction is working then. I rolled from underneath the cabin and ran towards what looked as though it could have been a security checkpoint. I took a hold of the gun in one hand and the knife in another. If it is a checkpoint - and it is manned - I’ll be ready.
My heart skipped a beat as an alarm rang through the air. A shrill noise which hurt my ear-drums. I tried to ignore it as I continued to near the checkpoint. Come on, come on, nearly there… Gun raised ready to blast anyone who’d dare show their faces. The gunshots won’t matter. I’m not sure what’s happening back there, back at the cabin, but it’s created a lot of noise and a lot of gunfire.
I reached the checkpoint and carefully looked through the small window. To my relief, the room was empty. Not sure whether it was ever manned or whether everyone was inside now, all on clean-up duty for the mess they’d created and - more specifically - the mess I had created both now and the last time I was here. Although I can’t take full responsibility for things going wrong the last time I was here. Sure, I killed Bray - the lab rat - but something had already happened before I had got here. The place was a mess with bodies everywhere. What did he say it was? What did Bray say it was again? Fuck. What’s going on with my memory. Old memories coming back to me slowly and little things - recent things - I find myself forgetting them. Can’t complain. That’s hope for the future. Could be there is a slim possibility of forgetting all of this ever happened. I laughed. Chances. I beat a man to death with a shovel and ate his corpse. You don’t forget shit like that. I turned away from the window and froze. Something caught my eye in the tiny box room. I slowly turned back. There - on the wall - keys hanging. On the other side of the gate - where I was headed - there were a row of cars all parked up…
