Lorraine Heath

by Sweet Lullaby

  Reverend Mitchell studied the young couple standing before him. He had spoken at length with Jake earlier. Jake had confided the special circumstances surrounding his marriage to Rebecca. Mitchell knew beyond any doubt that Jake loved Rebecca. He wasn’t certain of Rebecca’s feelings. He knew she cared for Jake. Her actions in preparing herself for the exchange of vows was a testament to her feelings. But he also knew she carried another man’s child, which would always give her a strong bond to that other man. He had married many couples whose marriages were not initially brought on by love. He knew love tended to sneak up on people. He read a passage from Corinthians, hoping the words that so effectively described love would guide Rebecca so she would recognize love when it came to reside in her heart.

  When the passage ended, he asked the couple to hold hands while they faced each other repeating their vows after him.

  Her blue eyes held his brown ones as Rebecca began, her voice soft and sweet. “I, Rebecca Lynn Anderson, take thee, Jake Burnett, to be my lawfully wedded husband …” She stopped, not expecting Mitchell’s next words of “honor and cherish.” Her eyes searched the reverend’s. “I thought it was supposed to be ‘love, honor, and obey.’”

  Reverend Mitchell smiled, lifting a brow. “Jake didn’t think you would obey.”

  She blushed, the heat warming her face. “He knows me too well.”

  Mitchell leaned down and spoke softly. “And Jake didn’t want you to exchange empty vows. I thought these would give you a good foundation upon which to build your life together. Honor him as your husband, cherish him as your friend.”

  She turned her attention back to Jake and squeezed his hands. “To honor and cherish, in sickness and in health, for better or worse, through richer and poorer, forsaking all others, as long as we both shall live.”

  Jake cleared his throat before following Mitchell’s voice with his own, deep and true. “I, Jake Burnett, take thee, Rebecca Lynn Anderson, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to love, honor, and cherish, in sickness and in health, for better or worse, through richer and poorer, forsaking all others, as long as we both shall live.” He reached out, took a gold band with tiny roses engraved on it from Frank, and slipped it on the third finger of Rebecca’s left hand. It fit perfectly. “With this ring, I thee wed,” he added.

  Reverend Mitchell clasped their hands in his own. “What God has joined together, let no man put asunder. You may kiss the bride.”

  Rebecca tilted her face up to Jake and she felt his lips brushing lightly against hers. Then his lips were beside her ear, whispering, “A lifetime of happiness, Reb, I promise.”

  She felt the stinging behind her eyes, no longer certain she was worthy of this man, promising herself she would do everything in her power to be.

  Handshakes, kisses, and congratulations were profusely offered. The din of conversation circled around Rebecca and there were moments when she felt like she was a little girl again, holding her arms straight out and whirling until the earth seemed to move about her. She felt flushed and breathing became difficult. Then she felt a strong hand clamp down on her waist and found herself being led away from the well-wishers.

  She stepped onto the veranda and inhaled deeply before looking up into her husband’s face. “Thank you.”

  “It’s a little overwhelming.”

  She laughed softly. “It is, isn’t it?”

  Jake moved his hand away from her waist and leaned against a pillar. “Think you’ll miss it?”

  She shook her head. “There was a time when I couldn’t imagine leaving. And now … Now I can’t wait to leave.”

  The guests began trickling outside where tables and benches had been set up. Food was served. Toasts were made. The sunset burst forth its hues of lavenders and pinks, oranges, and blues as the husband and wife sat side by side entranced with nature’s gift on their wedding day.

  As day bid its final farewell to night, the guests departed. Rebecca found herself standing alone with Jake in the study, not certain where her father had discreetly disappeared to, but grateful he had. Jake was watching her as though he were waiting for something. Then she realized he wouldn’t be sleeping in the bunkhouse. He was her husband now. He had married her, had earned the right to sleep in her bed. She inhaled deeply, strengthening her resolve. “I guess we’ll sleep in my room tonight.”

  Jake nodded and followed her up the stairs. She opened the door to her room and stood within the threshold, waiting, uncertain. It didn’t seem real, but this was her wedding night. Her wedding night and she didn’t have a special nightgown. She wasn’t even sure if she needed one or not. She had always expected her wedding night to be a little different. She thought she’d be swept off her feet, carried to the bed….

  “You going in?” a deep voice asked behind her.

  She jumped into the room, wringing her hands, looking at everything that had once been so familiar and now seemed so foreign. She heard the door close quietly behind her and moved further into the room.

  Jake glanced around, his eyes falling on the pink ruffled bedspread that covered the bed.

  “This is your room?” he asked.

  She turned, blushing as she saw where his gaze was directed. “Yes, what’s wrong with it?”

  Smiling, he looked at her. “Nothing. I just didn’t expect it to be so frilly.”

  She tilted her chin up defiantly. “Just because I like cows doesn’t mean I don’t like feminine things as well.”

  “No, I suppose it doesn’t.” He moved to the bed and sat down.

  She turned and began to study the flowered wallpaper. It wasn’t that frilly. She heard one boot thump to the floor and then the other. Then she heard the sound of his shirt being tugged out of his pants.

  “Reb?”

  She spun around, eyes wide. “What?” “Come here,” he said as he patted the bed. She walked over, standing in front of him, feeling the familiar tug on her heart as he gave her a lopsided grin. “Sit down.”

  She sat down on the bed, her back straight as a board, her hands clasped together in her lap.

  “You seem a little nervous,” Jake said.

  She swallowed. “Aren’t brides supposed to be nervous on their wedding night?”

  He placed his large, warm hand over her trembling ones.

  “Not this bride and not this wedding night. I told you why I asked you to marry me, and I told you what I expected—no more than you’re willing to give.”

  “Don’t you want to consummate the marriage?”

  “No, I don’t. I want to make love to you. But not until you’re ready. Not until it’s what you want.”

  Her hands unclasped and he slipped his fingers through hers. “It’s been a hell of a week and a long day,” he said. “Tomorrow is going to be even longer. I think it’d be best if we both got a good night’s sleep.”

  Her eyes shot up to his, expressing gratitude. He ignored the pain her obvious relief brought him.

  Her cheeks took on a pink hue. “I need to get my nightgown.”

  She lifted herself off the bed and walked to her dresser. As she fumbled around in the drawers, she wondered why she couldn’t remember in which drawer she kept her nightgowns. She finally located a plain white one and spun around triumphantly.

  Jake was laying on the bed, eyes closed, the covers drawn over him. She tiptoed to the bed and stared down at him. He had fallen asleep.

  After lowering the flame in the lamp, she undressed and slipped the gown over her head. Lifting the covers, she began to ease herself into the bed. Jake’s arm came up and she froze.

  “I thought you were asleep,” she scolded. “I know,” he said, and she could hear the smile in his voice.

  “Did you watch me undress?” “No.”

  She looked at his hand lifted in the air, outlined by the dim light of the moon. “What are you doing?” “I thought I might hold you.”

  “Oh.” The thought brought with it a measure of excitement. It would almost be as though they were hus
band and wife, but she wondered how close he intended to hold her. “Are you completely unclothed?”

  “No. Only took off my shirt and my pants.”

  “And your boots.”

  “And my boots.”

  She wondered if he’d ever dreamed about his wedding night the way she’d dreamed about hers. The reality of the night was far removed from the dream.

  She lay down, drawing the cover over her as his arm slowly came around her shoulders.

  “You could put your head on my shoulder, if you like,” he said.

  Tentatively, she rested her head in the crook of his shoulder, her cheek pressed against his bare chest. She could feel the warmth of his skin, hear the pounding of his heart. She placed her hand on his stomach and felt him stiffen. She smiled. He was as nervous as she was about their sleeping together. She relaxed against him, fingering the unfamiliar ring on her hand. “Where did you get the ring?”

  He ran his fingers lightly over the sleeve of her gown. “It was my mother’s. Not her wedding ring. She was never married. It was just a ring she had. I always liked it. It’s the only thing of hers that I have. I wanted you to have it.Hope you don’t mind … I mean it not being a real wedding ring and all.”

  “I don’t mind. It’s beautiful. So delicate. It means a lot to me that you’d give it to me.”

  “Means a lot to me that you’d wear it.”

  They lay in silence for a few moments before Jake spoke again.

  “You looked beautiful this evening, Reb.”

  “I wanted to do something special for you.”

  “You did. You married me.” His hand stopped moving. “That dress fit you like a glove. You sure don’t look pregnant. When is this baby due anyway?”

  “January.”

  Jake counted back the months and asked quietly, “Last barn raising?” Rebecca sighed. “Yes.”

  He had a hundred questions he wanted to ask her, but he had no right to the answers. “Good night, Reb.” “Jake?” “What?”

  “Will you give me a good-night kiss? You know … the kind of kiss brides usually get on their wedding nights.”

  Jake shifted his body until they were both lying on their sides, facing each other. He trailed his fingers along her jaw. “I don’t know much about the kinds of kisses brides get … but I know the kind of kiss I’d like to give you.”

  He worked his other hand out from underneath her and cupped her face, bringing his lips against hers, pressing firmly against her soft flesh. She sighed and he slipped his tongue through her parted lips, tasting her for the first time, their tongues introducing themselves as they slowly waltzed around each other.

  Rebecca felt a warm stirring deep within her, not certain she wanted the kiss to end, not certain she wanted to roll over and go to sleep. His kiss was as undemanding as his proposal. So different from any kiss Brett had ever given her. It was different from any kiss she’d ever received, touching her deeper than any kiss before it.

  His breathing was labored as he ended the kiss and placed his lips lightly on her forehead. “Go to sleep now, Reb.”

  She complied and Jake took her soft hair between two of his fingers, rubbing gently. He had just stepped into purgatory. Whatever had he been thinking when he’d promised not to take more than she was willing to give? What if she never wanted to love him emotionally or physically? He was lying in bed with the woman he loved … a woman he couldn’t make love to. He closed his eyes. More than anything in this world, he wanted this woman to be happy. He’d give her anything, do anything to make her happy. Even if it made his own life hell.

  Rebecca squinted against the early morning sunlight filtering into the room. Languorously, she stretched her body before opening her eyes fully and catching sight of the shirtless man standing at the table. He was splashing water on his face, using the water in her washbasin. She had seen him bare-chested before, but somehow knowing he was now her husband made everything about him seem different. She had never noticed how his lean frame showed a strength brought on by years of herding cattle and working on a ranch. His skin was taut across his muscles, the absence of hair on his chest lending a smoothness to his form as his muscles rippled with his movements.

  Glancing over at her, he reached for his shirt. Rebecca felt herself redden from the top of her head to the tips of her toes, and she brought the covers up to her neck.

  He gave her a small smile. “Morning.”

  Relaxing her grip on the blankets, she returned his smile. “Good morning.”

  “Half a dozen of your father’s men want to come to Texas with us. Thought I’d go on out and get them moving.”

  She watched the way his hands worked the buttons on his shirt, wondering how it would have felt to have had those hands work the buttons on her wedding gown. “That’s probably a good idea.”

  He reached for his hat and walked to the door. “You just come on down when you’re ready.” His smile increased. “I won’t leave without you.”

  “I wouldn’t want you to,” she said softly.

  Sitting on her horse, Rebecca listened as Jake issued the orders to take the ten horses he had broken and then to round up the cattle that bore her brand, the Rocking R. As the men rode off, she heard a distant door slam. She turned towards the house, watching her father storming down the walk, his silk robe flapping in his wake, his fist pounding at the air high above his head.

  “What the hell is going on here, Rebecca?”

  “We’re leaving, Daddy. Jake has some land in Texas. We’re going to have our own ranch there.”

  Jake sidled his horse up beside Rebecca’s, not wanting her to face her father’s wrath alone.

  “Dammit!” Anderson’s face reddened and the veins in his neck threatened to explode as he glared at Jake. “Dammit! You son-of-a-bitch, I didn’t give you my daughter so you could take her away! I’ll have this marriage annulled.”

  “That’s going to be a little hard to do,” Jake said calmly. “Considering she’s carrying my baby.”

  Anderson took a step towards Jake, controlled rage evident in his voice. “That baby is not yours.”

  “Can you prove it?” Jake asked.

  Rebecca felt the warmth spread throughout her heart. He was claiming the child as his even before it was born.

  Anderson glared at his daughter. “Get down off that horse, girl. You’re not going anywhere. I’ll get you an annulment. I won’t make you marry anyone. We’ll put it up for adoption when it’s born.”

  It, she thought, it. As though the child wasn’t already flesh and blood growing inside of her. Tears brimming in her eyes, she shook her head.

  “Dammit, girl. I raised you to take over this ranch when I died. I won’t have all my hard work go to nothing. You’re my daughter and you’ll do what I say!”

  “She’s my wife and she’ll do what she wants.”

  The words were wrapped in compassion and understanding,a gift Rebecca accepted into her heart. Her gaze met Jake’s and she recognized all that he was offering beneath the words. She had but to dismount and he’d ride away, leaving her his name.

  “I’m going with Jake.”

  Anderson reined in his anger, his blue eyes assessing his daughter as he laid down his final card. “Leave with him, Rebecca, and I’ll disown you. You’ll be dead to me. You’ll never know my love again, girl.”

  “Your love, Daddy? Is this love talking now?”

  “I only want what’s best for you, girl.”

  “And I want what’s best for my baby. I’m going to Texas with Jake. We’re taking my cattle and the horses you gave us. When the time comes, I’ll let you know if you have a grandson or a granddaughter.”

  “Don’t bother. I’ll never recognize the child or any that comes of your union with this man.” He nodded towards Jake. “You’re a fool, Rebecca Anderson.”

  “The name is Rebecca Burnett. And I think, Daddy, that you’re the fool.” She gave the man she had loved for twenty-one years of her life a last look b
efore turning her horse and galloping out of his life.

  Jake followed her, and when the house was no longer in sight, he reached over and grabbed the reins of her horse, pulling them both to a halt. He dismounted, then walked over and pulled her off her horse, bringing his arms around her as she sobbed against his chest.

  “Oh, Jake, why is the whole world turning ugly?”

  “Not the whole world. Just a few people, a few moments. I reckon we need the ugly to appreciate the beauty.”

  He wiped the warm tears rolling down her smooth cheek with his thumb. Her skin, unlike his, was flawless, and her blue eyes, hurt and confused, overflowing with tears, were looking up at him.

  “You can stay, Reb.”

  “I know. But I’d rather go with you.”

  He pressed his lips to one swollen eyelid and then another. “I’ll never hurt you the way he did. I swear it.” His lips followed the trail of tears until they reached her mouth.He opened his mouth over hers and she welcomed him, needing his closeness. The kiss was not passionate. It did not take her breath away or make her tremble with desire the way Brett’s had, but instead filled her with a sense of security, a sense of belonging, of being important to one human being. All the things her father had taken away from her, Jake was giving back.

  He rubbed her cheek, his smile sincere. “I think it’s time we headed for Texas.”

  He helped her mount her horse and when he had mounted his own, she reached over and squeezed his hand.

  “I think I’m going to like being your wife.”

  He leaned over touching one corner of her small smile. “I never want you to regret it, Reb. We’ll make it a good life.”

  As they began their journey, Rebecca didn’t look back. Her future lay ahead with the man riding beside her. In such a short time, her world had been shattered. But beside her rode a man who would help her rebuild it with love and trust and sacrifice.

  Chapter Four

  Texas, 1883

  LADENED WITH SUPPLIES, the wagon creaked as it rolled over the fertile land. Jake halted its progress, set the brake and jumped down, then walked out past the horses.