Single with Children

by Arlene James

  “Stop it!” He shook her again, roughly this time, sending her long hair flying, and then he abruptly released her. He swallowed, alarmed by the riot of emotions churning through him, and rubbed his hand over his mouth and chin. “Obviously,” he said through clenched teeth, “you’re in no mood to be reasonable.”

  “Reasonable?” she echoed, folding her arms and striking a belligerent pose. “Get out of my room, and then maybe I can be reasonable.”

  Stiffly, mockingly, he inclined his head, and then he strode out of the room, slamming the door behind him with all the force he could muster. He was across the hall, at his own door, before he heard the shuffling of little feet behind him. He looked down into his daughter’s troubled face.

  “Daddy? What’s wrong, Daddy?”

  He forced a smile and tugged a thin, messy braid. “Nothing important, sweetie. Don’t worry about it.”

  “Are you mad at Laura?”

  He started to shake his head, but then he thought better of it. “Yeah,” he said, “and she’s none to happy with me at the moment, either.”

  She cocked her head, brows drawn together. “How come?”

  He grimaced. “It’s…adult stuff, Wendy, which means that it doesn’t make a lick of sense.” She bit her lip, clearly worried, and his heart turned over in his chest. He bent and scooped her up into his arms. “It’s all right, honey, I promise. Now, we better get you back into bed, or you won’t be up in time for school in the morning.” He drilled a finger into her belly button as he carried her to her room. She giggled and pushed his hand away, threading her arms around his neck.

  He tucked her into bed, kissed her forehead and smiled down at her. “Sweet dreams, angel.”

  “Good night, Daddy.”

  He dimmed the light as she rolled onto her side, tucking her folded hands beneath her cheek. He looked at that chubby face, seeing something of Diana in her for the first time, the line of her jaw, the shape of her eyes. She was so very precious, his daughter. He wondered whether he was doing the best things for her, whether she needed something he couldn’t see, something he hadn’t done. Oh, Diana, he thought, I’m only beginning to understand what I asked of you, what I expected of you, what you were to our children.

  He was all alone in this now. What, he wondered, if his best was not good enough? This was a whole new ball game to him, and now that he looked back at the mistakes he’d made, he wasn’t at all sure that he could trust his own judgment. He should have been here more. He should have made them understand how much they meant to him. He should have taken more joy in these three little people for whom he bore responsibility. He shouldn’t have entrusted them to hired help. He’d told Laura that he trusted her to care for his children as he had his own wife, and that was true, but should he have done so? Was he right to feel that she was overreacting, behaving irrationally? Maybe he was the irrational one. What father in his right mind picked up a total stranger in a restaurant and took her home to be a surrogate mother for his children? And yet, it was Laura who had opened his eyes, who had moved him to release pent-up emotions and allow himself to really love his children. It was Laura who was going to break Wendy’s heart when she left them—and not only Wendy’s.

  He closed his eyes, sighing, before tiptoeing silently from the room. What could he do? What should he do? Should he send her away, try to cope on his own? Or could he tamp down his own feelings for her for the sake of his children? What was the safest course? The right one?

  He turned off the hall light and wandered toward his room, pausing as he passed her door. A muffled sob drifted through that barrier, and his hand was on the knob before he realized what he was doing. He snatched his hand back as if stung. He was the last person, the very last person, she’d want comfort from now. Moreover, he didn’t dare chance it. He simply couldn’t trust himself to keep his emotions in check—and his hands to himself. With nothing resolved, in her mind or his, he took himself off for a long, miserable night of self-recrimination.

  Seven

  Laura smiled at Ryan for wiping his mouth on his napkin, shook her head at Robbie for using his sleeve and pushed Wendy’s spoon away from the jelly jar for the third time.

  “That’s enough, Wendy,” Adam said. “You have plenty of jelly on your toast already.”

  Wendy scowled, her mouth too full for her to protest. Laura sent Adam a resentful glance, put the lid on the jelly jar and leaned back in her seat to place it out of the way, on the counter behind her. Ryan mimicked her movements, leaning his chair back on two legs. The chair teetered precariously. With a cry, Laura bolted up and caught it before it tipped over backward.

  “For Pete’s sake, Ryan!” Adam snapped over the top of his paper. “Are you trying to hurt yourself?”

  Ryan’s eyes were big with shock and leftover fear, but they abruptly squinted together as his face crumpled and he doubled over in tears, wailing softly. Laura glared murderously at Adam, but kept silent, her arms comforting Ryan. Adam swallowed whatever else he might have said and ducked his head behind his paper again. Laura felt an unaccountable sense of defeat. Why must she glare at him every time he looked her way? Why couldn’t she relax, tell him that she accepted his apology and get on with life? It wasn’t as if she were even really mad at him anymore.

  She knew that what had happened between them was every bit as much her fault as his, the kiss, as well as the fight, but she couldn’t help raising her hackles every time he got close. It was as if giving up her anger would render her vulnerable to his every word and gesture, not to mention his touch. The situation was completely untenable, and if she had a lick of sense, she’d leave now before something really awful happened. And yet, she couldn’t seem to quite do that, either.

  She patted Ryan into silence, dried his tears with a napkin, settled him once more at the table and whispered that he should finish his breakfast quickly. Adam slapped his newspaper together, tossed it on the table and slammed his fist down on it, glaring at her.

  “That’s it! I’m sick and tired of this silent treatment! Speak in a normal voice, damn it!”

  Laura felt her temper rise. She twisted her hands together in front of her and glared back at him over the top of Ryan’s curly head. “All right, I will, provided you do the same and stop shouting at everyone!”

  Adam’s face turned red, and for a moment she thought he would explode, but then he sucked in a deep breath, turned his head away and got a grip on his own temper. He swallowed and looked at her. “Fine,” he said in a very carefully controlled voice, lifting his coffee cup.

  Laura felt a little deflated. She realized that she was primed for another battle. With her guns effectively spiked, there was nothing for her to do except sit down and resume eating her breakfast. She did so with little grace, plopping down in her chair, snatching up her toast and ripping into it with her teeth as if it were shoe leather. Adam stared at his cup, then abruptly switched his gaze to her and asked tersely, “What are your plans today?”

  Laura realized that he was trying to make normal conversation, and that she would be extremely rude to rebuff him. “I’m doing the same thing I do every day,” she snapped. “Taking Wendy to and from school, tending the boys, overseeing homework. I do have a little laundry to wash,” she added glumly.

  He waved a hand irritably. “I’ve told you that you can send your things out along with ours.”

  “And I’ve told you that I don’t have enough things to send out. It takes too long to get them back.”

  “Buy some more,” he practically ordered.

  “I will not! I have other plans for my money.”

  “I didn’t mean that you should pay for them,” he told her. “I’ll pay for them.”

  Laura sniffed, her nose in the air. “No, thank you. I’ll accept nothing I don’t earn…as a nanny.”

  Adam grimaced, his forearms on the table. “I don’t pay you half what you’re worth as a nanny,” he said, switching his gaze up to meet hers, “and I never, ever, int
ended that you should earn anything in any other way, no matter what you think.”

  Laura softened, in spite of her better judgment. “I know. I didn’t mean to imply—” She broke off, glancing nervously at the children, who were hanging on every word.

  Adam sighed. “Neither did I. And about the other night, I was just trying to get things back on an even keel, honest.”

  Laura’s hands fluttered around her head, smoothing hair as smooth as silk. “I—I realize that now, but at the time…” She bit her lip, all too aware that the children’s eyes had moved from Adam’s face to hers and were now swinging back again.

  Adam’s smile was beleaguered. “I guess we both kind of overreacted.”

  Laura bowed her head in shame. “I know I did.”

  “You weren’t alone,” Adam said softly.

  Laura glanced up. Their gazes snagged and held. She saw the sincerity in his eyes, and something warm and soft unfurled inside her. She mouthed the words I’m sorry.

  Adam’s face melted into smooth, fond lines. He reached across the table and covered her hand with his. “That’s what I’ve been trying to say to you for days.”

  Laura nodded in apology and understanding, and Adam squeezed her hand. Wendy giggled, and Laura snatched her hand back, while Adam straightened in his chair, cleared his throat and composed his features into a bland expression.

  “Well, I’d better get going,” he said briskly. “I have an appointment today with a fellow I’ve been trying to see for nearly two weeks. The weather’s played havoc with us.” He got up from his chair.

  His gaze fell on Laura, and she felt unaccountably flustered. True to form, she turned her attention to the children. “Finish your breakfast, boys. Wendy, it’s time to get ready for school. Say goodbye to your father.”

  Wendy gulped down a last bite of jellied toast, smeared jelly around her mouth with a sticky napkin and lifted her face for her father’s kiss. She puckered up, but he wisely kissed her on the forehead, then repeated the procedure with each of the boys. He paused at Laura’s side, and for an awful moment she thought he was going to kiss her, too! But he simply smiled and turned away. Laura smiled at herself and got up, her spirits lightened considerably, her pulse fluttering.

  It didn’t last. Wendy was slow as molasses that morning and late to school again. It took Laura twice as long as usual to get the boys belted into their car seats. To cap an already difficult morning, they released themselves just on the edge of town and began climbing out of their seats, laughing and thrashing about wildly. While looking for a safe place to pull over, Laura tried reasoning with them, pointing out that they were going to get hurt if they didn’t get back into their seats. They ignored her and immediately began throwing themselves against one another in mock battle. Ryan ricocheted off his brother and onto the floorboards, howling in distress. Laura lifted up in her seat and glanced over her shoulder, trying to ascertain the extent of his injuries and causing the car to weave across the narrow traffic lane. Abruptly a siren punctuated the chaos. Laura’s gaze flew to the rearview mirror. Colored lights flashed from the top of the light blue police cruiser behind her.

  “Oh, no!”

  Robbie jerked around and looked behind them. “Police!” he yelped, and instantly began climbing back into his car seat.

  Ryan suddenly stopped wailing and crawled up off the floorboards to see for himself, voicing his skepticism. “Uh-uh, the powice not going to get us.” But when he peeked up over the back of the seat, he yelped and stuck his fingers in his mouth, hunkering down in sudden fear.

  On the verge of panic, Laura continued on a little way farther until she found a wide, level space on the shoulder of the road. Whipping over, she immediately wrenched open her small handbag, extracted her wallet and stuffed it under the seat. She didn’t dare let that officer get a look at her Colorado license. It was routine practice in some localities to run every out-of-state driver’s license through the system, and that could be disastrous if Doyal or anyone else had filed a missing-persons report on her. She’d known him to do it before, when a so-called “friend” of his had gone missing. She’d thought it admirable at the time, but then a policeman had called with the information that his “friend” was safe and well and at a certain address. Doyal had thanked him, then immediately dispatched Calvin to pay their “friend” a long-delayed visit. When Laura remarked that his demeanor was less than friendly, he had confessed that his “friend” owed him a great deal of money, which he would now collect, after having allowed the Denver PD to do his legwork for him. Laura had felt uneasy, as she had increasingly done for some time, and had filed the incident away in her mind.

  Oblivious of Wendy’s small, strident voice berating the boys, and not even cognizant that the five-year-old had twisted around and struggled to her knees, Laura tightened her fists on the steering wheel as she waited for the policeman to reach her window. She saw his clipboard first, balanced as it was against the top of his holstered pistol. Only when he bent, thrust his muffled face toward her and tapped a finger on the window did Laura reluctantly lower the glass. To her surprise, he pulled down the muffler wrapped around the bottom of his face, tugged off his mirrored sunglasses and stuck his head inside the car, bellowing for the children to calm down. Only then did Laura realize that utter chaos had erupted all around her.

  She twisted away from the officer, turning her attention gladly to the children. “Turn around and sit down, Wendy. You know better than that.”

  “Ryan’s gonna get us arrested!” she shot back, twisting around within the strangling confines of her safety belt.

  “Am not!” Ryan roared from the back seat.

  “Are too!” Robbie shouted from his car seat. “Godiva told us so!”

  “Hush, all of you!” Laura ordered, releasing her belt so that she could more easily renegotiate her position and take in the situation. “Ryan, get back in your car seat, and don’t get out of it again. Since you and Robbie are so good at releasing those safety belts, you can just fasten them for yourselves this time.”

  “Guess I know why you were weaving back there,” said the officer through the window.

  Laura bit her lip and slowly eased around to face him. She made herself smile, despite the fact that her heart was beating like a bass drum. “I’m sorry, Officer. It’s been a difficult morning.”

  He was surprisingly young and good-looking, and the smile he flashed her was potent in the extreme. “Looks like you have your hands full.”

  Laura nodded, somewhat relieved. “You could say that.”

  He leaned his forearm on the car and let his gaze slip over her. “Are they, um, yours?”

  Laura shook her head. “Ah, no.”

  The smile with which he gifted her this time was not only potent, it was downright sizzling. “Excellent,” he said, and began tugging off his gloves, using his perfect white teeth. Laura felt a spurt of hope, which he dashed in the very next instant. “Could I see your license, please?”

  Laura fought the urge to gulp, and reached for her purse. Her hands were trembling. Her whole body was trembling. She made herself dig through the bag, pretending to look for her wallet. Finally, when any idiot could have seen from a mile away that she wasn’t going to find it, she turned back to the window.

  “Oh, my goodness.” It sounded flat and unconvincing to her own ears, but she was stuck with it. “I guess I left my wallet at home.”

  He straightened, tugged a ballpoint pen from the clasp of his clipboard and began clicking the button. Laura knew he was trying to decide what to do with her. Wendy hissed something at her, but Laura hushed her with a snap of her fingers, as the policeman was bending to speak to her again.

  “And where is home, ma’am?” he asked lightly.

  Laura began to relax. She had learned over the past few weeks that the Fortune name meant something in this small town, and for once she felt no compunctions about using it. “These are the children of Mr. Adam Fortune. I’m their live-in nanny.�
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  The Fortune name worked its touted magic. Mr. Policeman lifted his brows, lips pursed for a whistle. “I see. I assume Mr. Adam Fortune will confirm that.”

  “Certainly.”

  “You’d better give me your name, then.”

  There was no way out of it. “Laura Beaumont.”

  He produced the clipboard and began scribbling. “That’s L-A-U-R-A B-E-A-U-M-O-N-T?”

  “Yes.”

  “And Mr. Fortune can be reached at…”

  Laura supplied the telephone numbers at both the office and the house. The policeman stowed the pen and, to her surprise, offered his hand. “I’m Officer Raymond Cooper. Pleased to meet you, Miss Beaumont. It is Miss Beaumont, isn’t it?”

  Laura gulped and put her hand in his for a warm, brief shake. “Yes. Miss.”

  His teeth flashed white. “Excellent. Well, Miss Beaumont, try to watch your driving a little closer. I’d hate to think of you in an accident.”

  “Of course. Th-thank you.”

  He stuck his head inside the car again. “As for you three…” He divided a stern look between the children. “You stop giving this pretty lady a hard time. You’re endangering your lives when you start fooling around like that inside a car. From now on, you stay in your places and keep those belts buckled. Hear?”

  Three wide-eyed faces bobbed up and down. Officer Raymond Cooper nodded and withdrew, the full force of his smile trained on Laura.

  “You have a nice day now,” he said before straightening to his full and—Laura suddenly noticed—impressive height. Her smile was genuine and rife with relief as he took his leave of her. Only when he’d driven away did she began breathing normally again. She felt lucky beyond belief, and yet it never occurred to her as she got out to check the boys’ safety belts that this might well be only a reprieve.

  Robbie balanced on his knee on the chair seat, his tongue stuck out the corner of his mouth as he concentrated on placing the plate just so. His relief obvious in the simple clap of his hands, he sat back on his heels and smiled at Laura, who dutifully praised him.