by Cecilia Lane
Hers to decide, maybe, and his to wreck. Emotion played out in his eyes so quickly that she couldn’t tell one from another.
She didn’t want to leave, and she didn’t want to hurt him.
Pushing all her thoughts away before she could freeze in them, Everly leaned across the cab and kissed Sawyer’s cheek.
That was what she intended, anyways.
At the last second, he turned his head and caught her lips with his. She inhaled sharply, pulling all his intoxicating scent into her lungs. She wanted to feel the rain slick her skin when the storm around him finally broke.
He sipped at her lips slowly, giving her time to pull away. When she didn’t, he placed his hand around the back of her neck. His fingers tightened, but he did nothing to pull her closer or press her for more. He gave her exactly what she needed: freedom to choose.
Everly picked Sawyer.
Everly stared at the ceiling above her and tried to think over the loud purring of her panther.
He bought her a truck. A truck!
Well, technically, he hadn’t given a gift outright. That was what made it so special. He had given her freedom and trust. There was no quibbling on if she could pay him back, just a firm belief that she would. He had no doubts that she could care for herself and meet her goals.
He bought her a truck and saw her as a real person, not just another mouth to feed or girl to do his bidding.
Everly crossed her hands over her stomach and tried to calm the butterflies that hadn’t stilled since she climbed behind the wheel. It was hers, signed and all. She just had to pay him back, which she intended to do as quickly as possible.
Layered under the gift was something she wasn’t fully ready to think about and, like a bruise she wanted to test, couldn’t avoid touching. The flash of pain was the same, too.
She was broken. Her gauge for what was normal and right was crushed into a thousand pieces.
Even knowing she had a new world in front of her, something kept her from taking a step forward and leaving her past behind. She wanted to believe her pride and family weren’t as bad as Sawyer claimed. Watching how the mates in the Strathorn clan came together, though, was just one example of how entirely different they acted from her expectations.
If any female sensed the weakness she saw briefly in Leah, they’d take her down. There would be no commiserating or joining together for comfort. That woman would face a challenge to her standing in the pride. Those weren’t always as bloody as fights amongst the males, but they decided a ranking in the community.
While utterly normal from what she saw as she grew up, expecting it from the Strathorn mates felt unnatural. They held each other up when they needed a boost instead of tearing each other down.
Even Callum, still healing from his burns and more silver pulled from him every day, lived. Wade would have slit his throat and declared himself alpha. None of the other males dared suggest such a thing. No, they were busy making sure Leah ate or had a ride to and from the clinic or took care of the weeds outside of their alpha’s cabin to make sure his mate had nothing to worry about.
All of it was bizarre and made Everly feel at home for the first time in her life. She could relax around these people. She didn’t need to keep her guard up or slosh through social currents that rubbed her the wrong way. They made sense.
Aside from the dynamics of the males and the mates, there was Sawyer. He planted questions in her head and gave her a glimpse of what life should be like with a partner who cared about her as a person, not just someone who would give him panther babies with unusual coloring. If she had to describe her idea of a perfect man, he ticked off all the boxes.
Strong. Handsome. A good listener. A provider.
Wade was none of those things. He was weak and clung to power through fear. The hurts she took from him wouldn’t let her see him as anything but ugly on the inside. He listened only to himself. He didn’t provide the pride with anything but trouble. Their hard work was presented to him to dole out as he saw fit.
He might have hurt the first man to see her as a person.
Everly dashed away the tears prickling her eyes. Maybe Sawyer was right about her family, and maybe he was right about everything else, too. Cole mated a human. Nolan mated a fox. Maybe it wasn’t an impossible idea for a bear and a panther to be together.
Over the purrs of her cat, she climbed out of bed and padded silently across the floor to where her new phone charged. She needed to know what sort of future might exist if she returned to her pride. She had to know for sure if they would never accept her and listen to her.
She had to know if they had hurt Sawyer’s clan.
Going out the front door wasn’t possible; Sawyer slept on the couch, and she’d wake him as soon as she slipped past. She didn’t want to have the conversation where he could hear, either. This was something she needed to do on her own.
She dressed and pushed aside the curtain covering the window and twisted the lock. There was a bit of creaking resistance before the sash moved. Everly held her breath and listened carefully for any sounds from Sawyer. When he stayed quiet on his side of the door, she pushed out the screen and jumped to the ground below.
The crunch of leaves and bushes made her wince, but she didn’t stick around to see if anyone came running to check. She hoped if she moved quickly enough, any noise she made would be blamed on night creatures.
She’d move quicker and quieter if she shifted. With her panther growling in the back of her head, she kept to her human form. The cat would just run her right back to Sawyer, and she needed to find her closure first.
She walked until she couldn’t hear anything but the quiet chirping of bugs and flapping wings of nighttime hunters. With no one around, she flipped open the cell phone and dialed a number she knew by heart.
Nerves settled unpleasantly in her stomach and soured her tongue as each ring stretched into the night. Perhaps it was best if she couldn’t get through. She didn’t know if she could stand the outcome if it went poorly.
Everly was on the verge of slamming the phone closed when a tired voice answered. “Hello?”
“Mom?” She wanted Sawyer to be wrong. She wanted her mother to be a good person and give her the love and acceptance and fortitude she knew Becca would instill in her children.
“Everly? Is that you?”
There was a scuffle in the background, then her father growled, “What are you doing calling at this hour?”
“I...” She didn’t know what to say. She spent all her walk building herself up to placing the call that she hadn’t stopped to consider what words to use. “I needed to ask some questions. I need to know if things will change if I come back.”
“Change? What needs changing?” her father roared. “You’ve been provided for your entire life. You’ll have a strong male to care for you.”
“I don’t want to mate Wade. I don’t know if I want anyone in the pride,” she mumbled. She needed to find her spine, as Becca told her. All the women stood up for what they wanted. “I don’t want to give up midwifing and I want to be listened to when I tell a new father how he can help. I don’t want to be shoved aside simply for having an opinion.”
“Well, that’s just not how it’s done,” he answered. His tone grated on her nerves, sounding like he spoke to a small child. She was just a girl and shouldn’t concern herself with man things.
No more. That life wasn’t hers. “It’s how I want it done.”
“It’s that clan putting these ideas in your head. They don’t know our ways. You need to leave them before you get hurt, Everly.”
He was losing patience. His words clipped together, and she heard his teeth grinding together. But the words themselves sent goose bumps up and down her arms. “There was an explosion,” she said slowly. “Sawyer’s alpha got hurt pretty bad.”
“That’s what happens when you shelter those that steal someone away,” her father snarled. “And when you let a mouthy cunt speak for us all whe
n she should keep her words to herself. They’ve been asking for something like this for a long time.”
Inside her head, Everly’s panther screamed in rage. On the outside, Everly remained utterly calm. Entirely chilled to the bone, she didn’t put an ounce of the emotion into her voice. “What does that mean? Did you have something to do with this?”
She dreaded the answer.
Sawyer was right. Every single word he said about her pride, all the predictions he made, the accusations he flung... All of it was right.
“Listen to me, little cat,” her father growled and ruined all endearment that’d ever been applied to the phrase. “You will leave those bastards behind and get your ass home. Now.”
“No.”
Her hands shook as she said the word. Terror gripped her middle just as it had when she had denied Wade. No matter how hard it was to rail against her upbringing, she wouldn’t let them knock her down and steal her dignity again. “No. Not if you’re going to talk to me like that. Not if you’re going to sell me off to someone that I don’t want as a mate. He already has one of your daughters. Why would you give him two?”
“You’re no daughter of mine if you disobey me.” His voice went quiet and severe. She was in for it now. The quiet yelling, those moments were always the worst. “You have no mother. No sister. You are without a family.”
“You can’t do that. They can make their own choices to talk to me.” She knew better, though. Their lives were as controlled as hers had been. No going anywhere alone. No life outside of their pride. Hell, the only reason her mother answered was probably because her father ordered it.
“I will not be shamed by a daughter wanting to spread her legs for a bear.” The words whipped out of the phone. “You are banished, Everly. No pride will have you. I hope your bears can protect you. You will be hunted down if we catch you alone. Betrayer of prides deserve death.”
Even in the warm night air, she shivered. “I made my choice when I picked Sawyer.”
Her father snarled into the phone. A stream of curses were lobbed at her so furiously she imagined spittle flew from his lips. He called her every name under the sun and offered a glimpse of what waited for her if the pride got their hands on her.
As hard as she tried, she couldn’t imagine Nolan saying any of those hateful words to his children. None of the Strathorns, in fact. She’d even go as far as to say she had yet to meet someone in the enclave capable of such vitriol toward their offspring.
She deserved more.
She deserved someone who wanted the best for her, not what she could provide either as a bargaining chip or as an incubator for the next generation. She wanted to speak her mind and do what she wanted, not what someone ordered.
She wanted to find love. The true, lasting kind. The kind that made her look away with a blush on her cheeks because no one touched each other in the pride the way the Strathorns did openly with their mates.
Her panther slid to a crouch, tail swishing with the agitation and fear and hurt that coursed through Everly.
If finding her own path meant she needed to let go of her previous life, that was the price she had to pay. The pain wasn’t any less, and she mourned the relationships she wished she had. But they were just that—wishes. What she wanted from her parents and pride weren’t the reality, and ripping away that blinder cut her to her core.
“Goodbye, Father,” she whispered and ended the call.
Everly hung her head and sobbed.
Chapter 15
Sawyer woke to the scuff of a window opening. That wasn’t enough cause for alarm, though his chest tightened and his bear prodded him into action. The sound of something light dropping, followed by a person crunching on the bushes under the window, that was worthy of panic.
She chose. She was leaving him. Sneaking away back to her hateful pride, no doubt.
Sawyer’s bear clawed at him hard enough he expected the beast to shove through his chest and take on his own shape. They were ripping apart as their mate escaped.
He couldn’t let her slip away in the dead of night. She was up, they were up. She snuck outside, they’d follow. Sawyer tugged on jeans and padded out the front door.
Everly was surprisingly quiet for someone navigating unfamiliar territory in her human form. He didn’t doubt her cat would be silent. While she kept the sound of her footfalls to a minimum, she couldn’t hide her scent. The trail of it was like a rope leading him exactly where she stopped.
Sawyer froze. He expected her to turn and confront him. If she didn’t, he planned to charge in and demand answers. He had to know why she was leaving. After yesterday, after another kiss that punched him in the gut with need, he thought maybe something had changed.
She felt the pull between them. It was obvious. Her pupils blew wide when he neared her, shivers ran through her when they touched. The thick and mouthwatering scent of her arousal had filled his nose when they kissed by the lake. It’d taken everything in him not to drag her over his lap and prove how much she wanted him.
And now… this. She couldn’t confront what was right in her face and chose instead to walk away without a word.
Fuck that.
He took one step closer and stopped. She searched the sky for a brief moment, blonde locks falling around her face and over her shoulders like some night nymph, determination swirling all around her, then raised her phone to her ear.
Torn, Sawyer stayed where he was. He didn’t want to listen to a call she thought so private she needed to leave the cabins. His bear wouldn’t let him move. The possessive creature couldn’t let her out of his sight when she’d already snuck away.
He heard her mother answer, then her father take over the call. Sawyer wondered if she knew how much she stiffened at the sound of the man’s voice. Then the demands began.
Motherfucking asshole. The toxic spew out of her father’s mouth eroded away the fierce courage Everly cloaked herself in, which only made Sawyer rage more. He wanted to rip the man apart, not just for talking to his mate like that, but for speaking to any other living creature with such disregard. She was nothing more than a bargaining chip to him. His own daughter was just a breeder for him to auction off.
And Everly, brave woman, she was so used to the abuse that the words were just noise. Painful, stinging noise, but not anything to express shock over.
How strong she was, his cat. Stronger than she realized. She took everything hurled at her and still kept a piece of herself alive and intact. They couldn’t beat the fight out of her.
He knew from experience how difficult it was not to lose yourself in such a world. Dark days piled into dark months, then years, until all the light leached from the world. He’d been a mess when he’d found his escape.
Like him, they pushed her out for making her own choices and not following the path they dictated. They abandoned her entirely. It was no small thing like being tossed out on the side of the road with expectations of finding her way home. She had threats placed against her. They disowned her and banished her and promised terrible things if she returned.
Not fucking happening. The tips of claws bit into his palms. He’d murder them all if they pulled a single strand of hair from her head.
Then it was over. Everly listened to the threats, then dug down into her hidden reserves of fight. She bid her family farewell and shut off their vile filth. Pride swelled in his chest. She chose a life other than their fuckery.
Sawyer watched the stoic face she reserved for her father’s words crumble. Her lips quivered, then she brought her hands to her face. Sobs shook her shoulders, and she sank to the ground.
It was one thing to know what was best for her own wellbeing and another to sift through the wreckage. She lost everything she ever knew with a final act of disobedience.
He’d been there. He’d snapped after a lifetime of aggressions. When he wouldn’t back down, he was left broken and bloody with no one on his side. He wouldn’t let her go through it alone. She needed someo
ne to keep her upright until she found her footing.
Sawyer strode forward to where Everly still sobbed. He had to. His bear wanted to kill everyone that ever looked at her wrong. He needed to protect her, care for her, see her tended to and loved. He needed to feel her in his arms and wipe away her tears. She needed him.
Without a word, he scooped her into his arms. It was a sign of how much hurt she felt that she didn’t question his appearance. She didn’t flinch as the beasts under their skin connected and sparked together.
Instead, Everly wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face against him.
“It’ll be okay,” he soothed. “I’m taking you home.”
Everly’s cries subsided during the walk home and an ugly emptiness filled her. Banished. She couldn’t speak to any of her pride. She’d be lucky if they simply pretended she didn’t exist. Most likely, they would sound the alarm and try to kill her if she showed her face to them again.
Nothing existed for her back at the camp. In one act of resistance and selfish behavior, she lost her entire world.
And gained something more.
She pressed her face as close as possible without smothering herself against Sawyer. The storm that clung to him grew heavy, and she wanted to seek shelter with him. He was there for her when she lost everything.
She swayed in his arms when they reached his front steps. He took her back into his home without a word, through the makeshift bedroom of his couch, and into the space he gladly ceded to her.
He didn’t dump her and run, either. He took a seat on the bed with her still slung across his chest. Nimble fingers plucked twigs and leaves from her hair, then smoothed the strands back from her face.
She knew she looked like a mess. She didn’t cry like a movie star; her eyes were puffy and her cheeks red.
He looked at her like she was the most beautiful woman in the entire world.
Sawyer nuzzled her softly. Comforting her. “I caused this. I’m sorry I stole you away from them.”
