by Cecilia Lane
He was the one person who understood exactly what she felt. He was there for her when she didn’t want him, and he found her when she tried to be strong on her own and failed.
He picked up the pieces of her truly messed up life and tried to put her back together again. There was only so much he could do when she didn’t want to look at the shards and see what was broken. Now she knew and accepted. She wasn’t the one in the wrong. She saw her pride and internalized all the hurt and disappointment at what they weren’t and would never be.
And Sawyer… He hid away under his own complicated drives. He offered her a different path, and she turned from him time and again.
She was done turning her back on him. Done denying what he knew to be truth. She wanted what he held out to her and practically begged for her to take.
“I’m not,” she said as softly as his fingertips brushing over her cheeks.
Those were the words that plagued her night and day. She should be furious at him, but it was hard to muster. She should hate him, and she couldn’t. He did what he thought was best and his people paid a price for it. For her.
Her involvement in their lives brought pain and suffering. Sawyer’s involvement in hers gave her hope.
Her cat clawed at her and shoved her forward. He continued to touch her gingerly, dragging his fingers up and down her arms, stroking a thumb across her cheeks, stuffing his nose in her hair.
She couldn’t help herself. She touched him back. She pressed her nose into the crook of his neck and simply enjoyed the feel of the male next to her. Hot, naked from the waist up, and devoted to her.
She was done living by rules she hated. She wanted to experience something with a man who cared about her.
Everly shifted, planting one knee on either side of Sawyer’s legs and squaring them up. Dark eyes watched her carefully, but he didn’t say a word or move a muscle apart from tilting his head to the side and exposing his neck.
The man was no submissive, though. Inside the eyes that stayed on her was a deep, aching hunger.
She swallowed the lump in her throat and pressed her palms to his lower abs. Sawyer inhaled sharply when her fingers traced the packed muscle to the first faint line of a scar running from one side to the other.
His head fell back as her fingers climbed his chest. She came across more faint scars, too, though not nearly as deep as the ones on his back. Fights from long ago, maybe. Deep wounds that would kill a human. From his play at fixing his world or some other stumble?
His arms flexed and his fingers dug into her thighs. Other than that, he didn’t move.
She reached his collarbone and touched the tops of worse scars. Those were the ones that tore down his back and marked his damage for all to see. She wanted to claw everyone who let his stepfather do that to him.
Just like he wanted to murder her pride for keeping her down her whole life.
Everly switched directions and dragged her hands down his chest. Over his tanned skin, down the hard mounds of abs. She hooked her fingers in the waist of his jeans and pressed her mouth to his.
She chose him. Her cat wanted more than she was ready to give, but that night, that moment, she wanted to feel close to someone who understood. She wanted to feel all of him and forget the hurts she had endured. She wanted the pleasure he promised.
His kiss overwhelmed her senses. He wasn’t gentle as he’d been before. He didn’t temper himself for her. He showed her exactly what was underneath his quiet exterior. He burned up inside. The storm she sensed around him begged to break.
He allowed her to see everything.
His mouth moved against her with the wildness he housed in him. Still, there it was. Her room to flee. She knew, deep down, what they danced around would be over the moment she flinched away. He’d find elsewhere to sleep, other places to be anytime she came near. He would take the rejection, pack it down deep, and do what he could to never see her again.
She would wreck him.
Everly wound her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. She didn’t want to let go. She wanted to take everything he gave her.
His fingers bunched the hem of her shirt and he pulled roughly away. His eyes were bright, pure gold when he opened them. Hunger laced the color. “Tell me,” he rasped with raw need. “Tell me this is what you want.”
Everly sandwiched his cheeks between her hands and kissed the words against his lips. “I want you.”
The groan that rumbled in his chest vibrated into her and curled heat in her middle. He shoved her shirt higher until there was no choice but to pull apart again so he could strip her. Then his mouth closed over hers once more. His tongue stroked against hers, his teeth nipped at her lower lip, and need whipped through her body.
He touched her everywhere he could reach. Her back, her hair, her hips. His palms skimmed up her sides and Everly moaned when he cupped her breasts. His fingers closed around her nipples, teasing the sensitive tips into tight buds. He felt so good. Too good. Liquid heat slicked her core.
He broke their kiss, but his hot mouth didn’t leave her skin. Moving across her jaw to nip her earlobe, he trailed biting kisses down her neck. Everly’s breath heaved in her chest when his teeth closed over her shoulder. Too good, too right, she shuddered with her cat’s push to accept his claim.
But he didn’t break her skin. He teased and rocked her against the hard shaft she felt through his jeans. His hands sparked heat and jolted awareness along her nerves. But he didn’t take more than she wanted to give.
He licked the swell of her breast, and his groan twined with hers. Her head swam, not just from the pleasure he pulled out of her. She fed on his need of her. He was entranced by her, wanted to touch her, and that fueled her own desire. He made her feel wanted.
Her world shifted and she found herself on her back as Sawyer dumped her on the bed and pushed to his feet. She braced herself on her elbows and raked her eyes down the gorgeous male. Her cat purred, and Everly didn’t quiet the noise. It was loud, too. Sawyer’s eyes snapped to her face and a delicious smirk graced his lips.
“Like what you see, kitty cat?” he asked with raw hunger.
Not trusting her voice, she nodded.
Sawyer unbuttoned his jeans and shoved them only a couple inches down his hips. It was enough to give his cock some release. The swollen head poked just over the waistband and Everly’s thighs slapped together. He was big. Bigger than she had assumed. And she wanted him with a desperation she’d never known.
His growl rocked through her and kept her in place. Her inner panther rolled over and flashed her belly. Oh, she liked that, him taking charge. The dominance he displayed was pure sexiness.
Sawyer ripped her jeans off her legs, taking her panties with them and leaving her utterly bare for him. Not fair, she opened her mouth to say. And promptly shut it when he dropped to his knees and shoved her legs roughly apart.
He kissed up one thigh, then the other. Everly fisted the sheets at her side when she realized what he was about to do. Her other times had been quick and to the point. They weren’t about wanting each other but simply getting off without others knowing. The everyday scrutiny and a lack of concern for her needs didn’t exactly lead to anything pleasurable.
Nothing like the time and exploration Sawyer took with her. Every touch set her on fire and made her want more.
Sawyer’s eyes met hers when he dipped his head between her thighs. Tiny, disbelieving noises filled her throat as he gently nipped his way around her sex. He wrapped his arms around her thighs to hold her steady. She couldn’t help her bucking hips when his mouth finally landed on her clit.
Then his tongue slid along her opening, and Everly was lost. Spots danced across her vision, and pressure built in her middle. Heat coiled in her core and licked through her veins. He was perfect. He knew how to treat her, listened when her helpless cries turned to growls of bliss. She slid her hands into his hair and held on for one sexy lick after another.
Sawyer growled,
low and long and utterly sexy, and she was done. Pressure spiked and arched her back. Everly’s mouth dropped open, but the only word she could form was, “Sawyer!”
And he was moving, kicking off his jeans and settling between her legs, the blunt head of his cock brushing against her entrance. He pushed an inch in, and his head dropped with a low groan. She pulsed around his slow invasion, the pleasure of his stretch intensifying every sensation.
He leaned forward as soon as he slid home and sipped her lips slowly. The wildness that’d been there before was replaced with soft, tender care.
And she realized he still showed her everything.
He gave her his wild side, the one fueled by the hurts he’d taken. He let her see his softer side, too, the one that demanded he help a woman in need even if she protested. Even if she couldn’t move past the hurt herself.
But she did. She chose him.
She wanted every part of him. The broken man with past pain directing his current actions. The quiet caregiver who hung in the back and listened more than anyone realized.
Her body relaxed around him, and he knew exactly when to move. Gold eyes stared into her very being when he dragged himself back so only the tip remained in her heat, then surged forward again.
She was lost in his eyes and his movement. He twined their fingers together and pressed his forehead to hers. Their breath and moans mingled as he proved his care for her with his body.
She wanted all of him. Quiet and wild.
Everly dragged her nails down his back at the same moment she nipped his lower lip. The slow, steady rhythm of thrusts that pushed her steadily toward another release faltered. A low growl rumbled in his chest and hot damn, it was sexy.
“More,” she gasped out.
His eyes flashed, and a shudder ran through him. Good. She wanted to have as much effect on him as he had on her. “Say that again.”
“More, Sawyer.” She nipped his lip again. “Need all of you.”
A wordless, feral noise spilled between them. He leaned forward and kissed her, a clash of tongues and teeth, and slammed into her.
Ragged breaths filled the air. He let go of her hands, only to grip her hips. His fingers dug into her skin, pinning her in place as he fucked her. His thrusts shortened, sped up, and a sawing sound bubbled out of her throat.
Everly gasped and slapped a hand over her mouth. Too much. She was letting her cat have too much control.
Sawyer’s eyes flashed again and he shoved her hands out of the way to wrap his own lightly around her throat. “Don’t hide that purr from me. That’s fucking sexy.”
And he held her and pummeled into her. Hand on her throat, hand on her hip, he took everything she offered. They let each other past their defenses. It was frightening and exhilarating all at once and Everly couldn’t imagine anything better.
Until Sawyer growled and pressed his face into the crook of her neck. “Mine,” he said as he sped up. “You’re mine, Everly.”
She couldn’t do anything but nod. She was his. He was hers. Her cat sensed it the moment he caught her and no amount of denying it convinced the beast otherwise.
Warmth filled her chest, unlocking spaces inside her she didn’t know anyone could touch. He was taking her beyond simple pleasure and into an entire world where nothing but blissful ecstasy existed. She knew it was silly and at odds with reality, but reality was hours away, and at that moment, there was only Sawyer.
The first wave of her climax rippled through her and Sawyer groaned into her neck. Pleasure beat down her desire to keep going, and she threw her head back. Her eyes slid closed, and she just felt the man driving her toward emotions she didn’t yet name.
Sawyer growled and pushed into her hard, his cock throbbing his release into her. His grip on her slid to the back of her neck, holding her close, so close, as he pushed into her again and again.
“Fuck.” He rolled to his side after a long moment, dragging her over his chest as he did.
She could barely breathe, let alone speak, and just nodded. His heart sounded loud under her ear. She wanted to curl into the heat that blazed off him and never tear herself away.
They were broken in different ways, and she was far behind him on the path toward repair. She hoped that someday she could fall into step with him, slip her hand into his, and fix the last bit of themselves together. Until then, she could only hope to be as good to him as he tried to be for her.
She chose Sawyer.
Chapter 16
The door leading into the firehouse finally creaked open and their missing alpha, fire chief, brother, and friend took his first steps back into his rightful territory.
A smattering of cheers rose around the mess. The Strathorns were all gathered, plus most of the volunteer crew. Jacob and the rest of the academy brats manned the food and drinks under Nolan’s supervision. Hell, even the vampire captain, Jeremiah, dragged himself out of his coffin to witness Callum return to work.
“Thank fuck,” Cole cursed and slapped Callum into a bear hug. “I couldn’t manage another day with these assholes and all their questions.”
“Tough, isn’t it?” Callum joked. “They’re never happy, either. It’s always ‘wipe my chin, braid my hair, hold my hand’ with this crew.”
“Some of us are just practicing for when our cubs are born. We’re learning from our most maternal figure,” Nolan grinned. He raised a red plastic cup into the air. “To Callum. May he never stop trying to civilize the hopeless.”
More cheers filled the space as the celebration unfolded. Nolan slipped from the crowd and checked the progress in his new kitchen. Shiny appliances replaced those damaged in the blast, and newer lines and electrical work allowed some shifting of where everything was positioned. He’d fussed over the repair and installs almost as much as he hovered over Becca.
Sawyer fixed himself a drink and a plate of finger foods before taking a spot far from the center of the crowd. Everyone swirled around Callum, congratulating him on his return and hoping for a speedy recovery now that he could shift again. Smiles were on every face.
Except one.
Leah moved with Callum and never strayed more than a few feet from his side. Fear and a lack of sleep colored her eyes. Everyone in the fire crews lived with the knowledge that death could be on the other side of a door when they went into a blaze. Even after all the mess that followed Bearden, it seemed Leah was just learning the reality of that threat.
Watching it play out on the alpha mate’s face made Sawyer’s scars itch. His bear rumbled in his head. He didn’t want to cause Everly that sort of discomfort. He wanted to sift his hands into her hair and pull her close and soothe the wrongness that rubbed at him.
But she was off doing the work of a midwife, and he was in the firehouse welcoming his alpha back into their ranks.
As the party started to wind down, Callum drew Leah to the side. He looked over the people under his responsibility, part of his clan or part of his firehouse, then glanced down to his mate. “Go home. Get some rest.”
Leah’s brows shot together and a hint of fight entered her eyes. “But—”
Callum caught Leah’s chin and tilted her face to his. He brushed his mouth over hers, once, twice, then she wound herself around his neck and went in for more.
Sawyer looked away and let them have the moment.
“I’ll see you tonight.” his alpha promised his mate.
He told Everly those same words that morning. His bear pushed at him to find her and ensure she was real. His leg nearly bounced with the urge to prove to himself he hadn’t imagined the previous night or waking up to her soft breath sounds and sleepy stretches when he nuzzled her cheek.
Yeah, he had it bad. One night and he was fucking addicted. She picked him once and there was no chance of her unwinding the hold she had over him.
Callum settled his gaze on Sawyer as soon as Leah pushed out of the back door. He jerked his chin toward his office for Sawyer to follow.
“Shut t
he door behind you,” the man said as he made his way around his desk. With a growl, he crumpled and tossed two cans of soda into the trash and promised hell on Cole under his breath.
Sawyer dropped into a chair across the desk and tried to maintain an air of nonchalance. He could only think of one reason why Callum would want to pull him aside as soon as possible.
“What does Everly know about the explosion?”
Straight to the point. His alpha didn’t show any expression, either. Not knowing which way the man leaned made Sawyer sink deep into his need to protect his mate.
“The others have questions, if not outright accusations,” Callum said evenly. “You bring her here and left some very pissed off people behind. After everything we’ve been through, it’s hard not to suspect why we were hit.”
“Everly wasn’t involved.” Of that, Sawyer was certain. Her shock after and disbelief at her father’s near-admittance were genuine.
“Anyone could have been hurt in that blast. The mates. Anyone from where the package was dropped off until it arrived here. How many hands touched that box?” Callum planted his hands on the desk and flexed his fingers.
Unnecessary dominance washed over Sawyer. He got the fucking point. He needed to talk.
“She doesn’t know anything. I overheard her cutting ties to the pride last night and while her asshole of a father danced around it, I’m sure they’re responsible. Not just the attack on us, either. She told me they’d been near other locations where shifters were targeted.” He wasn’t convinced he was even the original target. The pride stopped near the enclave for a reason.
“Thought as much. The SEA wanted all of our findings and won’t share any of theirs, but Cole got a peek at one of their reports. Same rigging as the others this year.” His alpha scrubbed a hand down his face. He looked tired. “If this was any other time, I’d say let’s head out and put them down. They threatened our lives. But we’re being watched too closely. We can’t act on instinct alone right now. Not until the cameras and coverage die down.”
