One Last Kiss Goodbye (Hidden Hearts #2)

by N. J. Nielsen

  "I promise you. I promise to love you always. I've loved you secretly since the day I found you crying in the toilets and we spent the whole lunch break talking. I just need you to give me the chance to love you openly. Back then you were too young for me, but I loved you anyway."

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  They turned as Micah cleared his throat.

  "I think I'm going to head back to work. I'll tell your dad you may be…a while." Micah said the last word with a snicker as he headed for the door.

  Kayne blushed and Jacen liked the way it made his "soon to be in every sense of the word" lover look. "Do you want to sit here and snuggle some more, or would you like me to make you something to eat?"

  Jacen threw his head back and chuckled. "Snuggling sounds good. If your cooking skills are anything like they were in high school, then I'll be the one cooking all our meals."

  "I wasn't that bad," Kayne defended.

  "Do I have to mention the scones we ended up playing cricket with because they were so hard?" Jacen teased. "Or the stew even the dog wouldn't eat. I still swear to this day the stew was what killed Buster in the end. You forced the stew onto the poor mutt."

  "Shut up." Kayne reached out and tickled his rib cage. "You keep teasing me and I won't let you ravish me in bed."

  Jacen's laughter suddenly stopped as he stared wide eyed at Kayne. "You'd let me? George made me bottom all the time. I've never…I mean… Oh my God, I can't believe you would let me fuck you." Jacen was babbling, but he couldn't help it. He was thoroughly shocked and excited all at the same time.

  "I love you and would let you do anything to me. I know you would never purposely hurt me." Kayne tapped his leg, getting Jacen to stand up. When they were both standing, Kayne grabbed him by the arm and led him into the bedroom. "I want to try everything with you, Jace. Mind you, you'll have to teach me as we go along. I'll admit I have no freaking idea of what I'm supposed to do once I have you naked, but I'm sure you can talk me through it."

  His fingers trembled as he reached for the hem of Kayne's shirt. "I can teach you whatever you want to know."

  Jacen raised his arms and allowed Kayne to remove his shirt next. Kayne looked star struck when Jacen stepped into his embrace so they were chest to bare chest. His skin tingled when Kayne nibbled on the side of his neck. Holding gently to Kayne's sides, Jacen moaned in pleasure. His fingertips played along the edge of Kayne's jeans. "If you want me to stop, now would be the time to say something."

  With a determined shake of his head, Kayne gently bit down on Jacen's neck, not enough to break the skin, but enough to let Jacen know he was alive. It was all the go-ahead Jacen needed. His fingers fumbled with the button fly of Kayne's jeans.

  Kayne chuckled and pushed his hands away, taking control.

  "Let me."

  As Kayne removed his jeans and underwear, Jacen quickly stripped his own trousers from his body, not caring where they landed. He just wanted whatever Kayne was offering.

  Goosebumps broke out across his skin as Kayne trailed his fingertips over his exposed flesh and whispered, "Fuck Me! You're so beautiful."

  "Soon." Jacen chuckled. "First I need get you ready. I don't want to hurt you." He gently pushed on Kayne's chest until the backs of his legs hit the bed. "I need you on the bed, babe."

  "How?" Kayne asked.

  The openness of Kayne's face had Jacen shivering in want. "On your hands and knees would be best with this being your first time. It won't hurt as much that way."

  Scrambling onto the bed, Kayne froze and turned back to stare at Jacen over his shoulder. "I need to shower first. I've been working. I stink. Let me just quickly wash off."

  When Jacen nodded, Kayne flew off the bed and headed for the bathroom, not bothering to shut the door behind him. He was standing under the spray of water soaping himself up. Jacen couldn't help following Kayne, nor could he help how he needed to touch. Stepping under the spray, he took the soap from Kayne's hands.

  "Here, let me help you."

  Kayne groaned as Jacen made short work of washing them both. When Kayne's head fell back against the cool tiles, Jacen dropped to his knees in front of the man and sucked Kayne's cock into his mouth. His taste was exquisite. Jace love the way Kayne's dick seemed to almost vibrate in his mouth.

  "Jace, fuck me…Jace…" Kayne's fingers wound through his hair. Jacen wasn't sure if Kayne was trying to get him to stop or encouraging him to keep going.

  The moment Kayne began thrusting into his mouth, Jacen was determined to give Kayne as much pleasure as possible. Kayne's head seemed to be beating a rhythm against the tiles.

  "Jace, I'm gonna… Fuck! I'm so fucking close."

  Mere seconds later, Kayne screamed out as his orgasm flooded into Jacen's mouth. Jacen swallowed everything before he stood up and rinsed them both once more before shutting off the shower.

  He didn't even dry them completely as he dragged Kayne back across the hall and into the bedroom and pushed him onto the bed. "Hands and knees, Kayne."

  Once again Kayne did as he was bid. The second Kayne's head hit the mattress, Jacen spread his lover's arse cheeks and licked across his hole. He did it again when Kayne pushed back against his mouth. Kayne shivered as Jacen continued his intimate assault.

  "Fuck…so good… More." Kayne's babbling was turning Jacen on. He listened as Kayne promised him the world if Jacen would continue doing what he was. "Jace…Jace…. Oh God… I need."

  Slowly pulling back, Jacen kept a hand on Kayne's back as he rifled through the bedside table. Jacen opened the bottle of lube and poured a generous amount along Kayne's crack, better to have too much than not enough. Kayne's body jerked as Jacen pressed a lubed finger against his opening. It was taking all of Jacen's will power to go slow. "When I push in, I need you to push back. Keep breathing and push back slowly." Jacen's free hand ran soothing circles over his back.

  "Okay," Kayne said.

  "So tight. Love you. Kayne. So hot," Jacen murmured as the warmth enclosed his fingers. He waited long enough for Kayne to adjust to the invasion of his body. He wasn't game to move until Kayne let him know he was ready.

  "Fuck me drunk," Kayne hissed out.

  "Are you okay?" Jace asked.

  "Just burns a bit." Kayne grunted.

  Jacen could suffer through the waiting. This was Kayne, and he would walk through hot coals for this man to make sure it didn't hurt. "Yeah, it does for the first little bit. I should have warned you." Jacen knew his own voice sounded strained. "Does it hurt too much? Do you want me to stop?"

  "No!" Kayne shouted. "Don't stop. It just feels…different."

  Taking those words as Kayne's acceptance, Jacen slowly moved his fingers in the dance to quickly loosen Kayne enough for them to fully make love. Kayne almost jumped out of his skin as Jacen finally found what he was looking for—bingo!

  "Holy fuck!"

  "Found it." Jacen chuckled and rubbed the tip of his finger over the same spot again and again. "The pain should lessen now."

  "What pain?" Kayne rocked his hips as Jacen continued to finger him.

  "I'm going to add another now. I'll keep doing this until you're relaxed enough to take my cock inside you," Jacen said by way of explanation. By the time he'd made it up to three fingers, Kayne was humming and meeting his every thrust.

  "Jacen…Jace, I need more…I need to…to… Oh fuck." Kayne moaned.

  Jacen slowly withdrew his fingers. He grabbed the condom from the bedside table and tore the packet open then hastily rolled it along the length of his cock. He took the time to add more lube to the outside of the condom before pressing the blunt head of his cock against Kayne's opening.

  "Are you ready? Remember, you need to breathe out as I push in."

  Pain… Jacen knew there had to be, and by the way Kayne's breath hissed out of him, Jacen thought he should stop, but it was like his cock had suddenly gotten a mind of its own. Once he'd popped through the tight ring of muscle, Jacen forced himself to go still.


  "Breathe, Kayne. I need you to relax." Jacen panted, trying to stay in control.

  Kayne seemed to fight for each breath until his body finally started to relax enough to accommodate Jacen.

  "I'm okay."

  His lover groaned loudly as Jacen slowly pushed in until he was finally fully seated. Each step forward and back caressed a deeper part of Kayne, and Jacen loved every minute of it. This was him inside of Kayne, loving on him. Life was perfect.

  "You feel so good." Jacen moaned. "Better than I ever thought it would be. Oh God, Kayne… My Kayne… My love."

  "Faster, Jace. I won't break. I need to feel you," Kayne begged.

  Kayne tightened his muscles and gripped Jacen's cock in a stranglehold. Reaching around Kayne's hip then down between his legs, Jacen wrapped his hand around Kayne's erection, stroking it in time to each thrust he made into Kayne's chute. Tingles raced up and down his spine, to fly off and ping around his body only to regroup in the centre of his balls. He knew his orgasm wasn't far off.

  "Kayne!" He screamed his lover's name and with one final I-want-to-lodge-my-penis-into-your-throat thrust, he unloaded into the latex covering his pulsating cock. Bracing himself on the bed so he didn't collapse on top of Kayne, he cried out a second time as Kayne pushed back against him and buried Jacen balls deep. Tightening his grip, he squeezed as wet heat covered his hand. Now that his lover had come, Jacen let himself fall until he was covering as much of Kayne's back as he could.

  "Fuck…fuck…fuck, Kayne." Jacen slowly pulled out and rolled him over. "I'm so sorry."

  "Why?" Kayne asked, seemingly confused.

  Panic filled Jacen. "I was too rough with you. I should have gone slower for your first time."

  "Okay, but you didn't hurt me. In fact, I loved what we did," Kayne said as he rolled to face Jacen.

  "Are you sure?" Tears blurred Jacen's vision as he searched Kayne's face for the truth. Reaching out, he tugged Kayne closer until they were wrapped around each other. He moved his hands, skating them up and down Kayne's spine for the comfort he was sure Kayne needed, even if he said he didn't.

  "Shh," Kayne whispered. "It wasn't as bad as you think. You weren't as rough as you thought you were. What we did was beautiful."

  "It was." Jacen hiccupped, snuggling closer. If Kayne didn't mind, Jacen was going to believe him, though next time they were in this situation he was going to make sure he took things a hell of a lot slower to be sure Kayne got the full pleasure Jacen had wanted to give him, and not the rushed job he'd gotten today.

  Kayne kissed his shoulder and asked, "Tell me this. Were you purposefully rough with me and determined to cause me pain?"

  "No, I wanted you to enjoy everything we did."

  "Then please hear me when I tell you it was perfect. I enjoyed it much more than you'll ever know, so we're golden. Hell, I was tested after I split with Teag and I found out she had been with Chris. Mind you, I hadn't actually slept with her in years. I'm clean. I have a paper somewhere to prove it. So if you want to go without condoms next time, I'm good with whatever you decide. You and me, we're an us now. No one else for either of us. After Mace was born, I always used condoms with Teag the rare few times we had sex. Mind you, it wasn't very often because I couldn't bring myself to be with her, unless I was very drunk, and believe me, I tried not to drink around her at all."

  "Are you sure?" Jacen snuggled in closer.

  "What? About the no condoms or the sex with Teagan?" Kayne wrapped his arms farther around Jacen. If this was what love felt like, Jacen now knew for certain he had never been in love with anyone other than Kayne. "I love you, Jacen."

  "I love you too, and we can lose the condoms after I get tested." Closing his eyes, he felt Kayne kiss the top of his head. "Let's take a nap before we have to get up. I have phone calls to make and you'll have to head back to work and explain to your dad exactly why it took you so long to check on me before he fires your arse."

  "Okay," Kayne murmured.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Kayne stood in front of his dad and listened as he ranted about work ethics and the importance of staying on the work site and finishing the job. The longer his dad ranted, the more Kayne's thoughts drifted back to the job he had just finished at Jacen's house. Shifting from foot to foot, he clenched his arse and felt the tenderness. A smile tugged at his lips, which did nothing to calm his dad down.

  "Are you even listening to me?" his dad groused.

  "Nope. I stopped listening about ten minutes ago, old man." Kayne chuckled. "Been thinking about how I'm gonna get all my stuff back to Jacen's house."

  "So, is it serious between you and him then?"

  "As a heart attack," Kayne stated. "I love him, Dad."

  His dad reached out and squeezed his shoulder. "Then I'm happy for you. You deserve a bit of happiness in your life for a change."

  "My life wasn't too bad." Kayne shrugged. "I may not have loved Teag, but I did get Macen out of it. Even if I had a do-over, I'd never wish it otherwise."

  "Always a silver lining, eh, son?" his dad said. "At least I like this one. No chance of us having another falling out with Jacen by your side."

  "Speaking of which, Jacen wants to know if you and Mum want to come over to lunch on Sunday. Jace has a new barbie he wants to christen. Since I'm moving back in with him, he wants both our families to be there." Kayne grinned when his father nodded.

  "Tell him we'll be there."

  "Sweet. He'll be stoked." Kayne turned towards the door. "I'm gonna borrow the work truck so I can grab my things out of storage. No sense paying to have everything stored when I can use some of it at our place. What Jace doesn't like or doesn't need, I'll get rid of."

  "You need help?"

  "Nah, between me, Jace, Micah, and Sammy, it shouldn't take too long. I don't have much gear anymore, Teag took most of it. Mainly it's just Macen's stuff," Kayne said before heading back out to his truck. Micah was standing there waiting for him.

  "So, you and Jace are back on then?" he asked.

  Kayne nodded. "We're together now, as a couple, I mean."

  "Did you fuck him?" Holding up a hand, Kayne turned his fingers in a circle and Micah's eyes widened in surprise. "He fucked you. Oh my God! How was it?"

  "How come you didn't tell me it would hurt like a bitch?" Kayne asked. Micah cracked up laughing, and soon Kayne joined in.

  Micah nudged his arm. "Has Sammy talked to you about the wedding? He wants to know if he needs two extra place settings or if you're done with the making up? His words, not mine," Micah said straight faced. "Remember the wedding is just around the corner."

  "I already said we're a couple. No extra places needed, except for Mace, of course," Kayne said as he started loading his tools into the back of the work ute.

  "Sammy wouldn't have it any other way." Micah's hands clenched tightly on the side of the ute. Tight enough his knuckles turned white with the effort.

  Kayne turned so he was facing his friend. "Just spit it out, Micah."

  "You're my best friend. The one person outside my family who I turn to in my time of need, right?"

  "Right," Kayne confirmed.

  "Jace is my brother, and I love him so damn much. I just don't want to see him get hurt again." The sincerity in Micah's eyes made Kayne's heart race.

  "I promise I won't hurt him, Micah. I lost him once, and I'm not willing to go that route again. Don't ask me to walk away from him because I won't do it." Kayne frowned. "The man has been inside my body. His claim on me overrides whatever you want. I'm sorry if it's not what you want to hear."

  Micah nodded. "I don't care, as long as it is real."

  "It's real," Kayne said as relief flooded him.

  "Then we don't have a problem."

  "No we don't." Kayne patted Micah's shoulder. "Now if you will excuse me, I need to go home. I have a beautiful man who's promised to cook for me."

  * * * *

  This was Kayne's favourite time of the day. It was when he got to go home
and spend time with the two most important people in his life. Luckily for them the school bus had dropped Macen right at the front gate so all he had to do was walk the length of the driveway and he was home. All it had taken was a call to the bus company to make sure he was added to the pick-up and drop-off schedule. Macen was already making friends with the other kids on the bus.

  Kayne loved how Jacen included Macen in on any decisions they made as a family. He also knew his son relished knowing they'd finally found a place where they truly belonged. Kayne was starting to believe his son thought Jacen hung the moon. Wherever his lover was, his son wasn't far behind. Their current project was planning out a vegetable patch with a fence strong enough to keep Squirt and any wildlife from getting in and eating everything before it was fully grown. Who knew finally living in happy household would have such a marked effect on his son.

  "How's it coming along?" Kayne said as he leant over Jacen's shoulder so his chest was flush against the other man's back. "What's this?" He pointed to a circle in the middle of the garden plan.

  His son rolled his eyes. "Dad, it's the compost heap. Every good veggie garden has to have one."

  Jacen smiled. "Mace was telling me they have a thriving veggie patch at school. We figured if it works there, then it should work here. Their Ag teacher has been giving Macen some tips on the do's and don'ts of building a garden from scratch."

  The beaming smile that lit his son's face was worth every shitty thing Kayne had ever put up with in his life.

  "Ms Leroy is awesome. She always has time to talk to me. She's friends with Uncle Sammy."

  It would seem Kayne had another person to thank for bringing Macen out of himself. When they had lived with Teagan, he had always been quiet and stayed in his room a lot.

  "When are you planning on starting the building?"

  "Pop and Mr Desmond are coming on Sunday for the barbeque. Jacen said we should ask them where the best spot in our yard would be to grow the vegetables."