by Smith, Mary
Eventually, I pulled out of her loving arms. “I am so sorry,” I choked out.
“Don’t ever apologize to me, dear. I can see the hurt in your eyes. You need to talk about it.”
“I have not talked about my problems in a long time,” I confessed.
“There is your problem. You cannot keep things bottled up inside you. Trust me, I know. So, tell me.”
“I can’t.” I looked at her in shock. There was no way I was going to spill my guts or my problems to Lucas’ mother.
“Yes you can. I won’t tell anyone, not even my son, but you have to let go.” I could see that she was determined and for some reason I knew that I could trust her.
I didn’t know what part of my brain shut off but in a split second my filter was gone and I just began to talk. I talked about it all: my parents, Jake, what Jake did to me, the impending court date and Lucas’ words that he just spoke upstairs. I could not stop talking. With every breath I took more oozed out of me. Victoria never said a word. She just listened, holding my hand the whole time. After an hour of talking nonstop, I felt like a cement block was lifted off my chest. I couldn’t explain it, but I felt different, better.
I looked over to Victoria and she patted my hand. “We need some tea.” I followed her to the kitchen and I sat quietly at the table as Victoria fixed us both a cup of tea.
She sat the cup in front of me when I blurted out. “You must think I am a nut case.”
Victoria smiled. “Not at all. I think that you are a strong woman that was dealt a dirty hand. I think that you are going to be fine and I think you love my son a lot more than you are letting yourself believe. My advice to you would be to tell Lucas. He is a lot stronger than what you think he is and he loves you a lot.”
Shock, I was in pure shock.
I love Lucas? Was that possible? Did I love him? Did he really love me? I just nodded to her. She was right, just like Rachel said, Lucas needed to know.
I would have to tell him soon.
Chapter 24 –Lucas
I woke up with Sara’s curls in my face. All I could do was smile. I loved waking up with her in my arms. It was the greatest feeling in the world. Even though I thought I dreamt I told Sara I loved her.
Crazy dreams.
I gently removed myself from the bed and headed to the bathroom to get ready for the day. After showering and getting dressed, I headed downstairs. Ava was sitting at the kitchen table staring at her laptop. I couldn’t help but laugh. She was in a huge sweatshirt and flannel pants, and her hair was on top of her head in a massive bun. She wasn’t wearing her contacts, but had her thick black-framed glasses on.
“Hey, Nerd,” I smiled at her as I headed for the coffee pot.
“Hey, Creep.” She didn’t even look up from whatever it was she was typing. “You love her.”
“Ava!” I exclaimed. Even though we were close I had not even mentioned what feelings I had for Sara.
“Don’t play Mr. Tough Hockey Player to me, Creep. It is written all over your face.” She still hadn’t looked up from her laptop.
I sat down next to her with my coffee. “Well,” I sighed, “I cannot tell her. She still hasn’t opened up to me.” Ava finally stopped typing and looked up at me.
“Do you think it has something to do with the scars?” I had told Ava about them because I needed to know if I should really push the issue or let Sara tell me on her own.
“I really think so, but she just won’t tell me.”
“Lucas,” Ava patted my hand. “Give her some time. Maybe it is something she needs to work out on her own before she can open up to you.” Just like my mother, Ava had a lot of great advice to give. I nodded. Ava was right I needed to wait until Sara wanted to tell me on her own. However, I had an urge just to grab her and protect her from whatever bad happened to her.
“Should I tell her I love her?” I whispered.
“Creep, if you asked that question then you are not ready to tell her. You will know when the time is right.” Ava smiled sweetly at me, just as my mother walked into the kitchen.
“Fils bonjour.” she greeted as she headed to the tea pot.
“Bonjour maman.” I said back.
“I was just telling Lucas he is in love with Sara,” Ava announced loudly. I whipped around and gave her my meanest look. My mother and Ava just laughed.
“Shut up Nerd,” I hissed at her.
“Like it’s a big secret or something. We all see it,” Ava almost shouted back.
“Morning,” Sara said as she walked into the kitchen. Ava and I quickly shut our mouths.
“How did you sleep, dear?” my mother asked.
“Best sleep I have had in a long time,” she said back. Ava and I looked at each because it seemed like. My mother made her a cup of tea and they both came over to the table to sit down. It was wonderful to see the two of them hitting it off so well. I wanted Sara to love my family, since she wasn’t close to hers and really only claimed Rachel as family. I wanted her to fit in here.
“Lucas, do you have plans with Sara today?” my mother asked. Before I could say anything Ava jumped in.
“She is going skating with us!” She clapped her hands with glee.
“Geez Nerd.” I lightly punched her shoulder. “Rude much?” Ava shrugged. I looked over to Sara and asked, “Sara, would you like to go skating with us?”
“I don’t have skates.” She looked a little sad.
“Oh, but you do. I brought them.” I wanted to take her to the pond. It is where I spent most of my childhood and it was like my second home. I loved it.
“Well okay then. Where do you skate at? Is there a rink close by?” She smiled brightly as she asked. Ava and I both laughed.
“The rink is the pond in the backyard,” I clarified. Sara’s eyes got a little wide and I instantly knew that she was nervous.
My mother jumped in, “Lucas and Ava have been skating on that pond since they were kids. It is completely safe.” She patted Sara’s hand.
I was startled when Ava jumped up and yelled, “Let’s go!”
“So, this is the pond.” Sara looked more nervous now than before.
“Yes, everyone in the neighborhood uses it. That is why we wanted to come out so early because soon the kiddies will be out here and they will try and get Lucas to play with them,” Ava explained.
“It’s safe Sara. I promise,” I said as Ava and I jumped on the ice. There was nothing like being on a pond. It felt different. I was at home when I was in a hockey rink, but on the pond I was a kid again. I would love to come out here before and after school. I could still hear my mom yelling at me to come in because it was dinner time or it was just too dark out. I loved every minute of it.
“How cold is it right now?” Sara was completely bundled from head to toe.
“I think it’s about negative twenty-five Celsius.” I was actually unsure but it was cold. “We won’t stay out here too long. How about you two versus me?” I dropped the puck and skated to the center.
“I think I will just watch. I am still a little bit unbalanced,” Sara declared trying to keep her balance. “This is much different than where I am used to skating.”
“Yes, rinks are smooth. Ponds are more natural but come on,” Ava grabbed her hand and skated to the center by me. “We can’t let Creepy here win, can we?” She handed her a stick and we began to play.
It was the most fun I had in a long time. All three of us were laughing and play-fighting each other. I never heard Sara laugh so hard. She and Ava got along great and kept plotting to try and trip me up, but it never worked. It felt like we were out there forever.
Soon I couldn’t feel my toes. Ava’s nose was bright red and Sara’s eyes were watery, so we decided to go inside. My mother and Aunt Elizabeth were at the table as we took off our skates in the backroom. I could feel their eyes on me as I helped Sara unlace her skates.
I could see how much my mother liked Sara. I hadn’t heard Aunt Elizabeth say anything abo
ut Sara and that was good, because if Aunt Elizabeth didn’t like her I would know it already. We all sat around the table and the ladies began chatting. My mind began to wander on how great I felt right now, so content being home with my family and with Sara here now.
“Hey, Lucas.” Ava snapped her fingers in front of my face.
I jumped. “What?”
“How about you take four lovely and beautiful ladies out shopping and dinner today?” Ava was batting her eyes at me.
“Nope, I won’t. However, I will take three beautiful and lovely ladies and a nerdy girl shopping and to dinner.” I stood up and playfully punched Ava in the shoulder as I headed to get more coffee. Ava stood and followed me over to the counter.
“Sara,” Ava looked over to Sara as she stood very close to me, “would you like to know a secret about our Mr. Sharp?”
“Sure,” Sara laughed.
I knew what she was up to so I warned her and sat down my coffee mug. “Ava.”
“Mr. Sharp is extremely ticklish.” She reached for me. I took off like a bolt listening to my family laugh. Ava was able to grab my shirt but I twisted out of her hold and shot like a bullet into my room. I fell onto my bed and threw my arm over my eyes. I hated that I was so ticklish. I heard the bedroom door open.
“Ava, don’t you dare,” I said in the most lethal voice.
“It’s me. Ava is downstairs.” I looked up to see Sara. She shut the door and headed over to the bed. “You two are quite a pair to watch.”
“She is something else,” I said. “You okay? Having fun yet?”
Sara smiled and kissed me. Every time she kissed me I thought my heart would explode in my chest. She was so wonderful. “I am having the greatest time. Thank you,” she said after she broke the kiss.
“You’re welcome and I am glad you are having a good time. My family means a lot to me.”
“I can see that. They love you very much.” She curled up next to me. I felt so relaxed when she did that. There was nothing in this world that I would not do for her. We hadn’t been together long, but I had never felt like this with anyone before. She was always on my mind and I wanted her in my life every single day.
I didn’t even realize that I fell asleep until my mother was rubbing my back and saying my name.
“Lucas, dear, it is time to wake up.”
I rolled my head to look at the clock only to see that I slept the whole day and afternoon away.
“Oh, Ma, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” I looked around. “Where is Sara?”
“No worries, son. We all know how tired you are. Sara is downstairs. We took her out and showed her the town and shopped a little bit. However, if we don’t feed Ava soon she might burst,” my mother giggled.
I rolled over and sat up. My mother was still sitting on the side of the bed when she said, “You know that she loves you as much as you love her.”
“Ma,” I almost whined at her.
“Lucas, stop. You know that I am right. I have never seen you look so happy or relaxed before. You both light up when you see each other and there is so much love between you two. “
I sighed. “I am scared to say anything to her. I feel like she is hiding a part of herself from me. I think it’s a big part too.” I could not keep a secret from my mom. She knew everything about me.
“Well, women always have their secrets, but give her time. She will come around.” She patted my shoulder as she walked out the door.
I held the door for the four most important ladies in my life.
“Sharp. Party of five,” my mother said as she walked up to the hostess.
“This way.” She took us back to our table. I was hoping for something further back, because I could see that some people had recognized me. I really was in the mood to spend time with my loved ones and not sign autographs; although, I never turn down a fan.
“I see people staring,” Ava sang out as we all took our seats.
“Shut up,” I sang out back to her.
“It will be fine, kids,” Aunt Elizabeth said. We all began reading our menus when Sara paused, confused Ava started laughing and Sara’s face turned red.
“What?” I asked.
“The menu.” Ava waved at it. I looked at the menu and then at Sara, not understanding.
“It’s fine, dear.” Mom reached over and patted her hand. I was still confused.
“Hey, Creep, the menu is in French.” Ava finally clarified. I rolled my eyes. It was so second nature to me that I didn’t even realize that the menu was in French. I looked over and Sara’s face was red.
“Sorry, I didn’t think about it.” I said and she just shrugged.
“So, why don’t you play hockey here in Canada? Everyone said you were a big deal here.” Sara changed the subject, but was still staring at the menu trying to make out the words.
“Oh that is a simple answer,” Ava chimed in. “He left for a team that would win the Cup.”
“That is not true.” I quipped back at her.
Well, it is partially true.
“Yes it is. We all know that your goal is to win the Cup. Even though I think you did it more for the money than the Cup.”
“Hey,” I said a little louder than I intended. My mother patted my hand and gave me a stern look. I took a deep breath and stared at Ava.
“Listen, Nerd. I played for and, now, play with some of the greatest teams. Yes, I do want to win the Cup. Yes, I like the money. However, the one thing that I worked for in my life is to make sure that the three women in my life are taken care of. Now, I have four women in my life that I love and I want to make sure that I protect all of you financially and physically so be quiet and order some frog legs.” I huffed and opened my menu back up. God, Ava pisses me off sometimes.
It was then that I noticed Ava was cracking up laughing, my mom and aunt were smiling ear to ear, and Sara was looking at her hands.
“Now, what,” I huffed.
“Think about what you just said, Creep.” Ava pointed at me. I replayed the words in my head and it hit me like a puck. I just declared my love for Sara in front of my family. Ugh! Seriously! I dropped my head into his hands and I could feel my face burning.
“Okay, I think this says frog leg.” Sara pointed to the menu. She was trying to change the subject and I couldn’t blame her. My mom and Ava were trying to help her.
I was happy that my family and Sara didn’t bring up my declaration of love for the rest of the night. I just wanted a hot shower and to crawl into bed without having anymore embarrassment tonight. That is exactly what I did when we all got home after eating.
After my shower, I put on a pair of boxers and lay in the bed. I didn’t even want to face my family right now. I just wanted to sleep and forget that fact that I blurted out that I loved Sara. I threw my arm over my eyes when I heard Sara come in. She gathered her things and went into the bathroom.
I laid there trying to figure out how to approach the subject. I knew that she was thinking about it. She always overthought everything. Actually, I was surprised she didn’t just run out of the restaurant.
I heard her come back into the bedroom. She was trying to be quiet because she thought that I was asleep. When she climbed into bed I knew that I had to say something.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked quietly, I suddenly was nervous about her answer.
“Um, let’s not talk about it right now.” She turned her back to me, but I couldn’t let it go just yet.
“Please, Sara.” I rolled over and rubbed her arm.
“Lucas.” She stared at me. “I like you a lot. If and when I am ready to tell you more of my feelings, I will tell you on my terms, okay.” For the first time, Sara looked me dead in the eyes with full determination. Her face was hard and I knew not to push the issue. So, I did the one thing that I thought was best to do.
I rolled over and fell asleep.
Leaving was always hard every time I came home. I saw my mom and Sara talking in t
he doorway as I packed the car with our bags. They were whispering and hugging. I was still a little upset from last night’s conversation, but I could not rush her, either. I felt Ava jump on my back. I smiled as I grabbed the back of her knees.
“Hey, Creep,” she said sadly.
“Hey, Nerd.”
“I am going to miss you.” I could feel her tears on my neck as she buried her head in the neck.
“Hey.” I let go of her legs and she slid down my back. I turned around and saw her tears. “Don’t cry. I will miss you too, but we do talk every day.”
“It’s not the same.” She engulfed me in a hug.
“You are still my favorite girl,” I whispered in her ear.
“No, I am not.” She pulled out of my arms and looked up at me. “But, I will settle for being your favorite cousin.” She smiled brightly at me. Considering she was my only cousin, I had to laugh.
“Deal.”
“Hey,” she gently squeezed my upper arm, “give her time. It will be okay.” My sweet cousin looked me in the eyes and for the first time my eyes watered. I couldn’t say anything so I just nodded.
After saying goodbye to Aunt Elizabeth, the three of us loaded into the car and headed to the airport. Nothing was spoken in the car as I drove. We just listened to the radio. Once at the airport we checked in our bags and mom hugged Sara tightly. Then she hugged me and whispered in my ear that it was going to be okay. She spoke in French so that Sara wouldn’t understand. My mom was always right, but I wasn’t so sure now.
Last night didn’t go as planned. I thought we would talk and she would tell me she loved me back and it would be perfect night of love making. I was wrong. Sara still didn’t speak to me as we boarded on plane heading back to Chicago.
This is going to be a long trip.
Chapter 25 – Sara
