“What is it?” I asked.
There was no question that Monica could be a lot of things but deep down, she was really a sweet girl trying to find her way through the chaotic world of pop stardom. In a lot of ways, she reminded me of the younger, naïve version of myself.
“Oh,” she said hesitantly, “I’m just anxious about how people will react to me being back in the business.”
“I wouldn’t worry about what other people think,” I answered. “If you let anyone think you’re less than amazing, you’re going to spiral again.”
Monica cast her eyes down, and I couldn’t read what was in them. Guilt? Shame? She would confess what was on her mind when I had time to grill her. Maybe when we were in the middle of a workout session, when she was weakened by physical exertion.
“I almost thought you might miss this,” I said, giving her hand a squeeze.
Monica’s eyes lit up and she said, “Did you know ‘almost’ is the longest word in the English language where the letters are all alphabetical?”
A slow smile curved my lips, and I caught a glance from Josh, who’s brows were rammed together in utter confusion. Monica’s eyes darted back and forth between us, and she knotted her fingers around each other.
“Sorry. Nervous fact-giver, remember?”
“I’ll have to keep that one tucked away as a conversation starter,” I answered, suppressing my smile so she didn’t think I was mocking her. “I’m just glad you could make it to the party.”
“I hear this video is sensational,” Monica gushed.
Josh raised his eyebrows, and I chewed the side of my cheek, pretending like everyone I’d talked to hadn’t said the same thing. Apparently, our chemistry on film had become legendary.
“We’ll have to wait and see, won’t we?” I teased. Looking over Monica’s shoulder, I continued, “Where is this hunky new manager of yours? I’ve been dying to meet—”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a pair of hands tightly clutching a silver balloon. Their fingers dug into the rubber, distorting the balloon until it popped loudly. A wild shriek ripped out of my throat, and I scrambled backward a few steps, then turned, catching myself on the hem of my dress. I would have been flat on my face if Josh hadn’t dived in and caught me.
Back on my feet, an indigent rage threatened to boil my blood. Whoever had pulled that stunt was about to get a verbal lashing that would make them wish they’d never been born.
Whipping myself around, I growled, “Who—”
Smiling back at me was the one and only genuine boyfriend I’d ever had.
“Preston?”
Chapter Eleven
I nearly choked on his name. Why did my tongue suddenly feel like it was swollen three times its normal size and was deadened by Novocain? “What are you doing here?”
“After all these years, that’s all you have to say to me?” Preston said, pulling a theatrically sad face. “It’s magnanimous to see you, too, Kiki.”
“I think you mean magnificent,” I corrected. “Still using words above your IQ, I see.”
“I know what I said.”
Repeating myself with no uncertainty, I demanded again, “What are you doing here? This is a very exclusive party, and I don’t recall your name being on the list.”
Preston circled around me until he was next to Monica. Wrapping his arm around her hip, he yanked her close to him. She didn’t even try to hide her embarrassment as her face flushed redder than if she’d stuck her face in habanero sauce. He leaned in and gave her a long kiss on the cheek, never taking his eyes off me. Preston was a pro at adding insult to injury.
He pulled away, delicately pinching Monica’s chin as she stifled a nervous giggle. Beaming back at me, he declared happily, “I’m Monica’s new manager.”
Not sure I’d heard correctly, I shook my head and repeated, “Her new manager? I thought you were still performing.”
“Nah,” Preston said, scratching the carefully manicured stubble along his jawline. Dressed in a smart looking tux and with his hair slicked back, he looked on point. He still kept his finger on the pulse of the fashion industry but instead of looking masculine and carefree, it came off as pretentious.
I caught myself staring at his mouth, remembering that he’d tried a beard out while we were dating, but I couldn’t stand kissing him with it. It was always too scratchy and wasn’t the look I wanted to go for as a couple, so I’d made him get rid of it. When I’d pointed out that his hair atop his head was a subtle strawberry blond but that his beard looked like he’d dyed it in carrot juice, he set his jaw, refused to speak to me for the rest of the day, but in the end, still shaved it off. Sure, I could be a bit blunt, but if there was one thing Preston was good at, it was mind games and manipulation. Unfortunately, he had a prodigious memory to go along with it.
“I finally accepted that I wasn’t ever going to make it as a musician—I can be a man and admit I don’t quite have the talent for that. Managing, though, is a different story. I believe I’ve found my knack.”
“So, you’re the thorn in Mr. Drake’s side,” Josh said flatly. Josh’s face was expressionless and the twinkle had dulled from his eye. He’d returned to strictly professional mode and kept his emotions guarded, like it was a switch he could turn on and off in his brain.
Preston laughed long and hard. “Is that what I am? Well, sometimes, a lion like Mr. Drake needs a thorn in his big paw to motivate him to action.”
“He doesn’t mean to be so pushy,” Monica interjected. “He was only wanting to help me get back into the music business after my…” She trailed off, a shadow crossing her face.
“Contracts can be a tricky thing,” said Preston. “I read Monica’s and understood it one way, Harper Music understood it another, but the lawyers seemed to side with Monica.”
A roiling wave of nausea hit my stomach. There was the Preston I knew. Cunning, clever, keeping the most endearing smile on his face while at the same time he was sticking it to someone.
The room grew hot, and I shrugged the stole off my shoulders so I could get some air flow across my skin. The faux fur had felt so luxuriously soft when I’d put it on at the hotel, but now, it felt scratchy and fake, like it was made out of cheap polyester.
“If I could have your attention,” Marc said, speaking into a microphone from the stage.
I felt Josh delicately lift my stole off and send it along with a waiter to the coat check. He remained expressionless, but his eyes were softer as he gazed down at me. All I could muster was a small, tight smile that probably looked like a pained grimace more than any sort of contentedness. How had the lovely start to the evening taken such an awful turn for the worse?
“I want to thank everyone for coming tonight to celebrate a huge achievement for Kiki,” Marc said. “This video presented a challenge from the beginning. It is not in Kiki’s typical catchy, fast-paced, poetic style. She had to reinvent herself and go back to the very basis of what makes sparks fly between a man and a woman.”
I was well-aware all eyes were on me. The lights had been dimmed and a bright spotlight highlighted my presence in the audience. Plastering my face with a pleasant expression, I stood statuesque, letting everyone around me bask in my presence. It’d come from years of experience in the industry and knowing how to give people what they wanted: a larger-than-life music goddess who lived an enchanted, perfect life and never, ever had any cares.
“Then, the main man for the video hit a scheduling conflict,” Marc explained. I laughed a bit to myself, thinking of cowardly Julio and how this video was going to make him regret ever backing out on me. “So, we had a last-minute fill in by Kiki’s bodyguard, Josh Coleman. That was a very brave thing for him to do, stepping into a realm outside of his comfort zone. Let’s give him a round of applause.”
Marc led the ovation and the spotlight shifted slightly to include Josh. The most adorable pink blush crept up his neck. He grinned and waved awkwardly. Though he’d surely been the center
of attention after every football game as the quarterback, the literal spotlight was too much for him.
I saw the voluptuous brunette who’d practically thrown herself at Josh during my interview. Her eyes thinned to slits as I looked in her direction, and I resisted mocking her by sticking my tongue out. Instead, I moved closer to Josh, unintentionally brushing my knuckles against his hand. Touching him sent my heart into overdrive and made Josh look down at me, his eyes crinkling as he smiled. I reciprocated, then looked back at the brunette and raised my eyebrows. She scowled more openly, then turned back toward the stage, throwing back her drink as she did.
From the darkness, I could feel Preston’s eyes glued to me. His eyes shone with a level of malice that only someone who’d felt betrayed could feel. I swallowed hard. My thoughts wandered to memories of our relationship. It had started out so innocent, carefree, and happy, but as the gap in the success of our musical careers increased, it created a strain that we could never quite remedy. I was the one to end it, but Preston hadn’t been totally innocent, either. He’d poisoned every other relationship I had with friends, peers, and family, to the point that it felt like he was the only one I could trust. Once I realized what he’d done, I dumped him faster than a pigeon turd freefalling toward a convertible. I heard Marc wrapping up, which snapped me back into the present.
“Without further ado,” Marc said in his adorable French accent, “Only You, by Kiki Loveless.”
The spotlight shut off, and for a brief moment, the entire room was blanketed in darkness. Josh’s hand brushed against mine again, and my breath hitched in my throat. I flashed back to the first time Preston had held my hand. I pinched my eyes shut and shook my head. I was not going to allow myself to go there.
When I opened my eyes, the opening scenes of Only You were playing in perfect synch with the music, but it was Josh that caught my attention. He was watching me again, silently checking to make sure I was alright. I nodded almost imperceptibly to let him know I was fine. It seemed to satisfy him enough that he folded his arms and widened his stance, as if bracing himself against what was to come. His brow knit in concentration, and he didn’t blink as he watched the video on the jumbo screen set up at the back of the stage.
I, too, felt like my feet were glued to the floor, and I couldn’t seem to draw breath into my lungs. I’d become accustomed to watching myself on screen a long time ago. At first, it was sort of a surreal, out-of-body experience that made me giddy, but after enough harsh critics, it’d lost some of it’s magic. Marc’s vision for the music video made me believe in the power of film once more.
The opening scenes flashed between me cradled in Josh’s arms, singing and us at the table, playing chess. To anyone who didn’t know our history, it appeared that we’d grown up best friends. His eyes crinkled as he smiled and laughed at something I said, and Josh and I both chuckled in unison when we saw how Marc perfectly caught Josh’s shocked face when I had proudly declared checkmate.
Then, something changed.
I could see it in Josh’s eyes. There was something about the way he watched me while I wiped his face after my juice debacle. I’d kept my lashes downturned for most of the shoot, but it was plain to see the longing in his eye. I could have attributed it to great acting if he’d had any experience in it, but the last time I’d seen him perform was in our fourth-grade production of Snow White, in which he played one of the dwarves. He was mechanical and awkward and stiff, nothing to suggest that he would possessed any ounce of natural talent. No, the yearning in his expression was undeniably genuine, but what made me stiffen my back and send my already quickened pulse revving was that I had the exact same look in my eye. There was no denying it: I was in love with Josh.
I swallowed again, but my mouth was arid. A shot of Josh running his fingers down my arm while he cradled me on the couch renewed the same tingle and trail of goosebumps I’d felt while we were filming the actual shot. What was happening to me? I’d walled off my heart long ago, after I had realized Preston was using me for his own purposes. His betrayal had nearly killed me, or so my heart would have me think. Since then, I’d had fun with plenty of guys, but I’d purposefully kept it superficial. Then, along came Josh and with one loving look, all my defenses dissolved. The thought both terrified me, yet made me feel like I could fly.
Marc masterfully timed the ending of Only You with the climax of the filming. With a passionate look between Josh and I, we drew closer and closer, until the final chord cut off and the screen went black. The overhead lights slowly warmed back on, and before they were at full-strength, the room had erupted with catcalls and uproarious applause that made my eardrums feel like they might burst.
Try as I might, I couldn’t hold back a full-faced smile that hurt my cheeks. Josh mirrored my happiness, though he couldn’t quite as graciously accept the praise being heaped upon us. He was too shy for that kind of attention. Reaching over, I squeezed his hand, mouthing a thank you to him. There was nothing in his contract that would require him to do what he did, but in a moment of my greatest need, he was there.
The audience died down as Marc gave a few closing remarks before guests were turned loose again to dance to selections of my past music or partake of the fantastic food once again being toted around by the wait staff.
“That was hot,” Preston stated matter-of-factly. Monica flinched at his comment but kept quiet.
“Kiki, are you crying?” Ruby asked, half-laughing. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry, unless you’re laughing too hard at something stupid I’ve done.”
Caught up in the emotions of the music and accompanying video, I hadn’t even realized tears had slipped down my cheeks. Reaching up, I touched my face and drew back my hand, incredulous that I really had wept at my own work.
“It must be relief,” I said, wiping off my cheeks with the back of my hand and sniffling. “I wasn’t sure after all the stumbling blocks that I’d faced the past few months that it would ever really come together. But it did.”
Monica searched through her purse and handed me a tissue, which I gratefully accepted.
Carefully dabbing my face so as not to smudge any of my makeup, I sniffed again. “Wanda’s going to kill me if she sees I’ve ruined her work. I’d better go powder my nose in the lady’s room.”
“I’ll go with you,” Ruby said, unhitching herself from Collin’s side. Monica looked like she was going to offer the same thing but was beat out by a split second by Ruby.
The entire walk to the bathroom, I did my best to graciously accept the outpouring of compliments, and Josh did the same, only in a much more curt manner. He was still in bodyguard mode, flanking me so he could protectively watch for anyone who might get a little too friendly. Ruby pushed her way into the bathroom, and I released a breath that I’d been holding back, upon finding ourselves alone.
“Do you have any lip gloss?” Ruby asked, examining her face in the mirror. “I seemed to have smeared all mine off onto Collin.”
I dug through my clutch and tossed a small bottle of it. “You should probably keep it. You two can hardly keep your hands off each other. It’s like the rest of us are forced to watch some mushy romance movie the two of you are starring in whenever you’re together.”
“What can I say?” Ruby said with a shrug. “We’re in love.”
I rolled my eyes playfully and went to work, fixing the small tear streaks in my makeup. Sometimes, when I was in the makeup seat, Wanda would share some of her secrets in the event she wasn’t there to correct any issues. I made a mental note to thank her for her wisdom.
“You’re one to talk,” Ruby said, looking at me out of the corner of her eye. She puckered her lips and while applying a generous coat of gloss, she said, “What was that between you and Josh?”
My jaw dropped, but I quickly compensated by chewing the inside of my cheeks, which only made Ruby’s smirk grow. Licking my lips, I said with an unconvincing tone, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I, um,” I stuttered. This wasn’t good. I didn’t need a boyfriend to distract me from my career, and Josh could say the same thing—he’d be given the boot by Harper Music long before he would even have the chance to make a girlfriend out of me.
“C’mon. You and I are friends. You can admit that kind of stuff to me. It’s healthy to have people you can confide in.” Ruby swiped a mascara wand across her thick lashes.
“Maybe,” was all I let slip.
“Ah, good,” she said. “That’s a start. Kiki Loveless has human emotions, after all.” She moved on to running mascara across her other eyelashes but managed to poke herself in the eye. “Crap,” she groaned, looking at herself in the mirror. Her eye was bloodshot and watering and a big black smudge marred the skin beneath her lower lashes.
“That’s what you get for calling me heartless,” I said through a laugh.
“And yet, here you are, laughing at me. Ironic,” she grumbled. Grabbing a paper towel, she tried to fix the smudge. After a few failed attempts, her shoulders drooped and she sighed. “You’d better get back to the party. This mascara Wanda gave me is like black superglue. This is going to take a while.”
How a Star Shines: A Pop Stars Romantic Comedy Book 2 Page 9
