Protesting, she shooed me away, telling me to find Vanessa and send her in. “She has a bottomless purse that contains every makeup known to woman.” I nodded and checked myself in the mirror one last time, fluffing the smooth curls Casey had put in at the top of my neck for good measure.
Carefully, I pushed open the bathroom door so I didn’t slam it into anyone on the other side—namely Josh, who I knew had stationed himself nearby in case there was trouble. When I peeked through the crack in the door, I could see him a few feet away, talking with Mr. Drake. Straining to hear, I eavesdropped on their conversation.
“No offense, Mr. Drake,” Josh said, “but I think you’ve got it all wrong.”
“Do I?” Mr. Drake said, folding his arms. “I may be a wealthy CEO, but I’m also a man. I know infatuation when I see it.”
My heart stopped, and I pressed my face against the heavy wood bathroom door, well aware of how disgusting that was. I needed to hear how Josh was going to respond.
“So?” Mr. Drake pressed, looking over the rims of his glasses with his piercing, frosty blue eyes. “Is there anything going on between you and Kiki? Are you two in love? Because if there is any monkey business, I have to remind you that you’ll be in breach of contract, and I will have you fired.”
I had to take it back about Josh being unable to act. Other than the bob of his Adam’s apple as he swallowed, he didn’t flinch as Mr. Drake grilled him. “No. There’s nothing going on with Kiki, and I’m not in love with her.”
Chapter Twelve
“Thirty minutes until we air, Miss Loveless,” the show manager announced, leaning in toward me as Wanda brushed my eyebrows into place.
“Pucker those beautiful lips for me,” Wanda murmured as she painted on a red lip stain. It was just enough color to give me a natural look that wouldn’t budge while I spoke to the host and performed Only You at the end of the show. Cinnamon, who sat on my lap, mistook it as a cue to give me a kiss, and he tried to jump up and lick my lips. I giggled at his antics but shoved him back down so Wanda could work.
“Now close your eyes,” Wanda instructed. I felt the smooth bristles of her brush sweep across my eyelid. “And while you haven’t got anything else to do, tell me what’s going on with you.”
One of my eyes popped open, and I looked up at Wanda. She frowned and rested a fist on her waist.
“I said close your eyes.”
I pursed my lips but obeyed.
“I’ve told Ruby this before, but it bears repeating for you. There is nothing you can hide from me. My life’s work is people’s faces, and I’ve known yours longer than most. You really think a little lip color and eye shadow is going to fool me into not noticing your fallen countenance? I don’t think so.”
I bit down hard on the inside of my cheek. There was no way I was going to break down crying about Josh in front of her. In front of anyone.
I cleared my throat and shrugged lightly. “Just a little boy trouble, that’s all.”
Wanda hummed her agreement. “Those men are somethin’ else.”
“Tell me about it,” I muttered.
Wanda ran the powder brush along my nose, chin, and forehead one last time. “Look, Kiki. I’ve had the privilege of following a great portion of your career, including the guys you’ve let grace your presence. I know that Preston hurt you, but you can’t let what he did to you ruin any future happiness you might have. That’d be like being angry at electricity after an outlet shocked you. The good love can do for one’s soul far outweighs the risk of being hurt.”
I took a ragged breath and clenched the arms of the makeup chair to keep from rubbing my hands down my face. “If only it was that simple.”
Wanda removed the bib from off of me and twirled the chair so I was facing her. Bringing her hazel eyes down to my level, she gently cupped my chin in her hand. “It’s not that complicated, either.”
I turned away, cursing the tears that were threatening to tip off the edge of my lashes. “It is when the man I love doesn’t feel the same way.” I laughed bitterly. “He doesn’t even know I love him.”
“So, tell him,” Wanda said sympathetically.
“Again,” I retorted, “not so simple.”
I raised my eyes, and they unwittingly were drawn to Josh. He was standing in the background with Bert, silently observing the hectic rush of all the people it took backstage to run an evening talk show. An awful torrent of bitterness, anger, sadness, and soul-wrenching desire had filled me ever since I’d heard him speaking to Mr. Drake. He doesn’t love you. I hated when my inner demons had empirical evidence.
“Ah,” Wanda said quietly. I looked up at her, and her eyes had followed mine to Josh. “I see.”
“Yeah,” was all I could manage.
“Well,” Wanda said, organizing her desk, “if there’s something else I also know about the fabulous Kiki Loveless, it’s that she never lets anything stand in her way.”
“That’s true,” I answered, though my voice cracked. Looking at myself in the mirror, I practiced smiling, but it didn’t seem to reach my eyes. All I wanted to do was go home, crawl into bed, and sleep until Christmas.
“Kiki!” Ruby came rushing over, still wearing Casey’s hairstyling cape. “You have to get up, now.” Putting her hands on my shoulders, she shoved me out of Wanda’s seat.
“Geez, Ruby. Pushy much?” I huffed, stepping out of the way and putting Cinnamon on the ground. He fluffed up his velvety coat with a thorough, full-body shake and stood there, looking up at everyone with a smile on his face. If only I could be so obliviously happy all the days of my life.
“Sorry. Emergency here,” Ruby said. She breathed so rapidly I was sure she was going to hyperventilate if she didn’t calm down.
“What is it?” Wanda asked, turning the chair so Ruby faced her.
“Look!” Ruby pointed to her eye. Wanda and I both leaned in closer and immediately saw why she was freaking out. A good quarter inch of her lower lashes were missing.
“What on earth?” Wanda said, tilting Ruby’s head side to side, like the lashes might be visible at a different angle.
“I had an itch, but when I pulled my fingers away, I noticed a bunch of lashes on them. They must’ve gotten stuck on the mascara you put on, and I accidentally yanked them out!”
Wanda chuckled, shaking her head at Ruby’s never-ending mishaps. “Honey, calm down. I have some lower eyelash extensions that you’ll have to keep on until your real lashes fill back in.”
With Wanda’s full attention on Ruby, I gave a gentle tug on Cinnamon’s leash and made my way over to Casey so he could give my hair another once-over. Josh intercepted me on the way over.
“All ready for your interview?” he asked, looping his thumbs through the belt loops of his Levi’s. The scent of his cologne hung close to his chest and it made my heart do funny little flips. I couldn’t fault myself for breathing around him.
“I am,” I answered, not stopping or bothering to look at him.
“Don’t you get nervous for these kinds of things?” he asked.
It felt like he was trying to elicit more of a response from me, so to be annoying, I answered curtly, “No.”
Josh laughed humorlessly and raked a hand through his hair. Lowering his voice, he ducked down so his face was level with mine. “Is something the matter? Ever since the music video release party two days ago, you’ve been distant and brief. What’s with all this Mr. Coleman nonsense again, too? I thought we were over that phase.”
I turned, looking him straight in the eye. “Mr. Coleman,” I said coldly, “I think our relationship as protector and protected has become too casual. I’d hate to distract you from being able to do your job because it would be terrible for you to be fired.”
My emphasis on the last word knocked him back as effectively as if I’d swung a sledgehammer at him. I could tell by the way his eyes studied me that the cogs in his brain were turning. It was a pretty big hint that I’d overheard his conversation wit
h Mr. Drake, but if by chance I hadn’t, and he said something about it, he’d have shot himself in the foot. I wanted him to feel stuck between a rock and a hard place, the same way I felt. I glared at him a little longer, until someone else caught my attention. I whipped my head around to see Preston watching us. There was a hint of amusement on his face, and I wanted to knock it off him, just like I’d done to Josh.
“Trouble in paradise?” Preston asked.
I scrunched my face angrily in warning. “Just making sure my security team is on the same page as me. What are you doing here, anyway?”
Preston pointed over to where Harrison was dressing Monica in a jean jacket over her tunic blouse, a very chic choice, if I did say so myself. “Monica’s manager, remember? I make sure to be present for all of her public appearances.”
“I bet you do,” I sassed.
“What’s so strange about that?” Preston asked, cocking his head to the side. If anything, my annoyance was egging him on. “George does it for you and Ruby. He’s right over there, chatting up the show’s producers so that you’ll get a call back when you have something new again. That’s what we managers and publicists do.”
“Sure, but George is actually good at his job,” I growled. “He’s not interested in stealing the spotlight every chance he gets.”
Preston placed his hands on his chest and he faked a pained expression. “Kiki! I think you’ve shot me right through the heart.” He chuckled while I dug my nails into my palms and kept myself from stomping my pumps. I was sure I’d snap the heel clean off if I indulged myself in a tirade like a spoiled little girl.
“I think that’s enough, Preston,” Josh intervened. I faltered for a moment at Josh coming to the rescue, but then I remembered I was standing in the presence of two men who’d both betrayed me.
“I don’t need your help, Mr. Coleman,” I said frostily. Thrusting Cinnamon’s leash into his hand, I continued, “Why don’t you take Cinnamon out for a break. And make sure you don’t forget to clean up after him if he needs to poop.”
Almost immediately, Josh steeled himself and became the mechanical, unfeeling bodyguard I’d first encountered. “Of course, Miss Loveless.”
I watched him go, shoving the backstage door open and disappear into the evening with Cinnamon hot on his heels.
“Oh, that was cold,” Preston chuckled. “And here I thought everything was going so well for you two.”
Tossing my hands in the air, I let them fall against my sides. “What is it that you want, Preston? I’m kind of busy, if you haven’t noticed.”
“I’ve noticed you plenty,” he said with a suggestive waggle of his eyebrows. I shrunk into myself, crossing my arms in front of me defensively. I knew what he was trying to do, and I hated him for chipping away at my self-esteem. It was like stepping into our old relationship, and I resented myself for letting him manipulate me.
“This isn’t for you to notice anymore. I took out the trash a long time ago.”
Preston laughed. “Wow, you’re on a roll today. I’ve missed your spunk.”
Tipping my head toward Monica, I said, “And now you have Monica. Though I can’t say I envy her.”
Preston took a step closer, but I refused to back down. He seemed to take it as an invitation to take another step in until anyone watching us might have mistaken it as an intimate moment between us.
Preston’s breath tickled my neck and he spoke in a low voice so only I would hear. “Monica’s been fine for now, but you and I know she’s small potatoes. There’s not a lot that she’s going to have to offer if all she’s ever going to be is a backup singer. We’re both destined for greatness, Kiki, and Monica’s not going to cut it.”
Turning my face up to him, I scaled him with my best scowl. “I’m not carrying you there, either.”
Sidestepping Preston, I marched toward Casey’s seat but was stopped when Preston caught my arm.
He hadn’t been put off in the least by my fierceness. The glint in his brown eyes made it clear. “Don’t think that I don’t know our relationship was the longest streak you’ve ever had and now, you can’t keep a man except for the occasional boy toy you have fun with before dumping.”
“I’ve been reminded time and time again how few good men out there that there really are,” I hissed.
“That’s not what Ramiro had to say. He told me you couldn’t even remember his name,” Preston said with a taunting laugh.
The blood in my veins practically froze at the mention of Ramiro. I knew taking him to that benefit was going to come back to bite me.
“I like to be alone,” I lied.
“It’s not good for anyone to be alone. We’re social creatures. Even the great Kiki Loveless. That’s why you relish all the attention you get from your fans,” Preston reached up to run a finger down my cheek, but I shied away, “and why you should be able to recall how good we were together.”
I shook my arm free and moved away from Preston. “No, we weren’t. That’s why I got rid of you.”
Preston heaved a sigh and shook his head like I was making a terrible mistake. “Well, you know where to find me when you change your mind.”
Chapter Thirteen
“So,” Tina, the hostess said from behind her desk, “tell us how Only You was written. What’s the inspiration behind the song?”
Ruby sat to my right, smiling happily. No one would have even guessed that only a few minutes before, she was on the verge of a breakdown because of the chunk of eyelashes she’d ripped out. Wanda was a magician as far as I was concerned.
Ruby answered, “Well, in a meeting discussing our upcoming European tour, it was decided that fans might like something fresh and new from Kiki, and since I wasn’t around to help coauthor anything on her previous albums, we were asked to bounce ideas off each other, and eventually, Only You was born.”
“That’s a real skill you have, isn’t it Ruby? Songwriting?” asked Tina. Grabbing her mug, she took a sip. It was supposedly tea, but I was pretty sure I saw her dump something a little stronger in it before filming started.
“Yes,” Ruby gushed. “It’s one of my truest loves.”
“That and her boyfriend, Collin,” I teased. Ruby shrugged but didn’t deny it.
“That’s right. You’re dating Collin Moore, brilliant, sexy spokesman for StarTech,” mentioned Tina.
“That’s right,” Ruby said, blushing slightly. She was still such a wide-eyed girl who was head over heels in love with Collin. I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t a teensy bit envious of her. She’d snagged a winner and she knew it, whereas all I seemed to be sifting through was the riffraff.
“They’re so good together that it’s disgusting,” I added, eliciting uproarious laughter from the audience. “It’s like being forced to watch a Hallmark movie every time the two of them are together. Sometimes, I’m tempted to punch Collin in his perfect nose, just to see if he’s capable of anger.”
Tina laughed along with the audience while Ruby gave a weak backhanded swing at my arm.
“And what about you?” Tina asked, gesturing to me with her mug before taking another sip. “Is there anyone special in your life?”
I smiled, controlling a heavy sigh. I knew this line of questioning was going to come up. No one ever cared to hear about my philanthropic work or how I’d overcome poverty to make it big, even coming from a broken home and being raised by a single mother. No, it was all who I was dating or where I was seen shopping or whether or not there was a possibility that I was a dog abuser in my free time.
In the shadows of the backstage, I could see Josh watching me like it was just he and I sitting down for a candlelight dinner, and he’d asked me to tell him my deepest secret. A boulder of a lump formed in my throat, but I swallowed it back.
I looked past Tina and made eye contact with Josh, speaking directly to him. “No. There’s no one special.” I noticed Cinnamon wiggling happily in Josh’s arms, and it made me smile. “That is, unless we’re talking abo
ut my little man, Cinnamon.”
I snapped my fingers and made kissing noises to Cinnamon. He practically dove out of Josh’s arms before he could put the dog down. Cinnamon trotted over to my chair as the audience aww-ed. Scooping him up in my arms, I kissed his head and ruffled his fur. The audience ate it up.
“So,” Tina said, “Is this the dog from the rather infamous photo that’s been floating around?”
I forced a laugh though I’m sure it came out flat. “Yes, the very one. That incident was the perfect storm of klutziness on my part and a really poorly timed paparazzi photo. Believe it or not, I can’t be graceful all the time.”
I told the real story of poor Cinnamon getting the boot, trying to interject as much lighthearted humor as possible so nobody would know how much the accusation of being an animal abuser had truly affected me. By the end, the audience was laughing and tears were streaming down Ruby’s cheeks. I had to give her credit for her ability to connect with an audience. People loved her infectious laugh and happy nature. Because of her, the whole tide of that dark period of my life suddenly seemed to be little more than a blip on my radar.
I found myself laughing along with my story. Then, Josh flashed into my field of vision, and I saw him chuckling, too. It took me aback for a moment how much making Josh happy lifted my spirits.
Tina leaned back in her chair, howling with laughter, and I was afraid she might actually tip out of her seat. The addition to her tea seemed to be taking effect, and she looked like she’d lost all inhibitions.
When she composed herself, she took another sip, situating the mug so the show’s logo was conspicuously facing the audience.
“So, tell us about this new music video of yours. It’s been getting rave reviews, and there’s been talk of it being nominated for video of the year,” she said. The audience broke out into applause.
“I’m glad everyone’s been enjoying it,” I said, looking into the bright lights over the audience and pushing my hair off my forehead.
How a Star Shines: A Pop Stars Romantic Comedy Book 2 Page 10
