How a Star Shines: A Pop Stars Romantic Comedy Book 2

by Eliker, Rachael

  “Yes. I mean no. It’s…” Josh stuttered. “It’s complicated, Kiki.”

  “Everything always is.”

  “Put yourself in my shoes. What would you have said?”

  I pondered, my lips parting when I thought I was ready to say something, then closing again when I realized I couldn’t quantify what I thought should have happened.

  “See?” Josh said quietly.

  “That’s not all,” I answered. “What about the redhead? That felt like a total betrayal.”

  Josh ruffled his hair with his hand, releasing it from the smooth part that he’d worn for the party. I could tell he was aggravated. “I’m really sorry about that. I can imagine how it looked from your perspective, but it wasn’t what it seemed. She caught me off guard and the entire…thing lasted less than two seconds.”

  I knit my brows together and gave him a disapproving look.

  “All I’ve got is my word. I hope someday you’ll believe me.”

  The Ferris Wheel jolted as it started again, and I grabbed the safety bar, hoping that this wasn’t my last night on earth. If I had to die young, I really preferred it to not be from falling from ridiculous heights.

  Josh took off his jacket and wrapped it around my quivering shoulders, then put his arm around me and pulled me close. “Let’s not worry about anything else and just enjoy tonight,” Josh murmured in my ear.

  Too tired to fight, I rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes, listening to his beating heart. Even Paris at night couldn’t hold my attention when I was so close to Josh. I could have been dreaming, but I was sure I felt him press his lips to my head. Such a simple yet profound gesture of love that, had I been standing, my knees would have undoubtedly turned to limp noodles.

  We went one more time around in silence, living in the moment and secretly entertaining the what-ifs but knowing they might never come to fruition. As much as I loved being around Josh, the fact that he was willfully disobeying Mr. Drake was putting his job at risk, to say nothing of admitting his feelings for me. Long distance relationships might be hard, but relationships where one of the couple was practically nomadic were nearly impossible to make work.

  When our cart slowed to a stop and we were let out onto the platform, Josh held his hand to help me out, and didn’t let go as he led me back down the steps. Instead, he laced his fingers between mine and gripped tighter.

  “Kiki!” I heard Ruby shout over the crowd. She jumped excitedly when she spotted me. Her face was painted with ornate peacock feathers, and Collin held an enormous eclair that threatened to ooze out cream if he squeezed too hard. She and Collin were in line for the Ferris Wheel but abandoned their plans and instead trotted over to meet us.

  Collin’s sea blue eyes dropped to our hands, and he smiled. “Didn’t know you two were an item. About time.”

  Ruby’s eyes widened, and she smacked him hard in the stomach, uttering something inaudible but obviously in warning to him.

  “What?” he asked confused.

  And just like that, the connection Josh and I had been sharing was dropped as he let go of my hand. I slipped my arms through the sleeves of the tux coat and stuck my hands in the pocket, my fingers again drumming to the delicious beat that seemed to be somewhere close by.

  “So, what are you guys up to?” I asked casually.

  “Just enjoying the street carnival. We were walking around and heard all the noise, so we decided to investigate. What about you? I thought you were taking the limo back to the hotel.”

  “I was originally, but I could hardly stand any more of Preston’s braying about his damaged manhood. You would have thought I’d cut them off with a pair of scissors.”

  Both Josh and Collin cringed reflexively.

  “In his defense, you hit that eight ball like you were firing a cannonball at him,” Ruby laughed.

  “Yeah, well he deserved it,” I grumbled.

  “No arguments there,” Ruby agreed. “How long have you been here then? I see you stopped by the same artist who did my peacock design.”

  “Yeah, she was great. The Ferris Wheel was incredible, too. I could see—”

  Ruby’s jaw dropped, and she held up her hand to stop me. “You rode the Ferris wheel?”

  “Yeah,” I said with a nod.

  “That one?” she asked, pointing.

  “Do you see any other?” I asked sarcastically.

  Ruby’s jaw practically unhinged itself to drop further. “Excuse my incredulity, but wow, Josh. I’m impressed. You’re quite good if you were able to get her on that.”

  “I’m not that bad,” I said, rolling my eyes.

  “Kiki, you made me get on the stepstool at your apartment to get your favorite pair of shoes off the top shelf. You have a problem.”

  I’d been trying to listen around the beating drums, but they seemed to be drowning out everything else around me. “Where are those drums coming from?”

  “Those? It’s this woman a block over,” Josh said. “Ruby and I saw her a few days ago, and she said she always sets up at that intersection. She’s the last thing I wanted to show you before we head back.”

  “What are we waiting for?” I asked, leading the way toward the hypnotic rhythm.

  It wasn’t hard to find her. There were other musicians playing nearby, but I could hone in on the drummer’s rhythm like a moth to the flame. Weaseling my way up to the front, at first, I could only stare. Then, my body couldn’t help but move with the music.

  When she finished her song and thanked people who tossed their spare change into a brimmed hat, Josh jogged up to the front and asked her something, pointing in my direction. The woman, who I hadn’t noticed before was sitting in a wheelchair, smiled at me and waved me over.

  “Go on, Kiki,” Ruby shoved me from behind. “She’s going to let you use her drum set.”

  I hesitated. Not that I was uncomfortable with the idea of performing for others, but street performing was foreign territory for me. Ruby gave me another hearty push, and I stumbled to the front, waving while the crowd cheered half-heartedly for me. They were probably wondering why I’d come to a carnival in a gown that was overkill for the event, but otherwise, nobody noticed I was Kiki Loveless. For the first time in a long time, I didn’t mind being inconspicuous. I flung Josh’s tux and my clutch to him, and he returned to watch from where Ruby and Collin stood.

  The woman with the drums leaned over and pulled out an extra set of drumsticks from a case and moved her chair over so I could sit at the trap set.

  “You give them a good show, yes?” she said with such a thick accent that I almost didn’t understand her.

  With a smile and a nod, she gestured for me to go ahead. Twirling the drumsticks in my fingers, I took a deep breath before slamming them down on the head of the drums. I didn’t really have anything planned and did my best to go along with the freeform drum performance. There was nothing quite as therapeutic to me as hammering away on the drums. With each passing moment, it was like I was reviving myself with every strike of the drumsticks, making the tension of the day—of the past few months—chip away.

  “Hey, that’s Kiki Loveless!” someone shouted from the crowd. The number of phones pointed at me tripled in an instant, but it didn’t faze me. I was so lost in the rhythm that an atomic bomb could have blown up in front of me, and I wouldn’t have stopped.

  In a fantastic finale, I flailed my arms so fast that I’d forgotten all about how cold the night was, and instead, started sweating with the effort. With one final crescendo on the cymbals, the drumsticks shattered.

  The crowd roared with laughter and rushed forward, stuffing money into the woman’s hat and begging me for a bit of attention. In an instant, Josh was at my side, putting his arm protectively around me and pushing people away with as much politeness as he could reasonably manage.

  “Sorry about your drumsticks,” I said to the woman, leaning down to her level and offering them to her apologetically. “I’ll make sure to send you s
ome more.”

  She pushed my hands away. “You keep them. To remember this night.”

  Pulling the drumsticks close to my heart, I thanked her for her generosity. “I appreciate you letting me crash your show.”

  “Don’t thank me, thank him,” the woman said, nodding her bandanaed head toward Josh. “He said you were very special and asked if you could join me. I see now that he was telling the truth.”

  “Drumming is one of my passions.”

  She shook her head, her gaze still on my face, despite the chaos around us. “Not that. You are magnifique on the drums, but what I meant it is obvious you are very special to him. He is a keeper, no?”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  For three excruciating days, I tried to find the right moment to talk to Josh, but as with every concert week, my schedule was so crammed with interviews and appearances I barely had time to empty my bladder, much less have time to sit down and have a heart to heart with my forbidden crush. I half-expected Josh to be canned after pulling his little stunt, taking me to the carnival instead of to the hotel, but Mr. Drake had been placated when George showed him all the fantastic press it had garnered.

  Since Josh was still around, I agonized over talking with him every waking hour—which was more than usual since I could hardly sleep in the face of another wave of concerts. Ruby would have been the perfect confidant if I hadn’t decided to retreat into myself, bottling everything up inside. I couldn’t bring myself to talk about Josh, to even dare to dream about what could be. I wouldn’t do that to myself until I had clearly defined expectations, and as of yet, we’d implied plenty but overall, had skirted the situation as a whole. The tension building in my skull gave me the constant companionship of a throbbing headache.

  Plus, Josh was busy fulfilling his role as bodyguard to Ruby. We were doing double duty promoting our concert, which meant we were to divide and conquer, so where Ruby went, Josh went, too. I barely saw him for more than twenty minutes some days, and even then, he looked like he might fall asleep on his feet. In my rare, quiet moments, while Wanda or Casey or Harrison worked on me, I found myself concocting devious ways to put Bert on the sideline, only temporarily. If I swung a bat at his knees hard enough, he’d have to at least take the afternoon off, I guessed. Then Josh would have no other choice than to work as my bodyguard. All I needed was ten minutes to pour out my heart and let Josh decide what we were going to do about our predicament.

  The day of the first concert came quickly, and I found myself second-guessing whether or not I was ready. Sure, I knew the music and dance steps like the back of my hand, but Only You weighed heavily on me. Was I going to be able to sing it without choking on the emotion of the song again?

  “Earth to Kiki,” Mandy said, pulling my head out of the clouds. “Did you hear what I’ve been telling you for the last five minutes?”

  “Huh?” I blinked several times. “Um, right. Something about my calendar?”

  Mandy’s shoulder’s slumped, and she sighed. Handing a paper to George, she gave him a pitying look. “You’re going to have to keep her on track. I don’t have time to deal with her when she’s off in lala land, or wherever she goes when she’s daydreaming.”

  “Don’t worry. I’m used to it,” George chuckled. “She’ll be where she needs to be when she’s supposed to be there.” George checked his watch, then got up to leave my dressing room. “Speaking of which, show starts in an hour. You’re already late to Wanda and Casey’s chair.”

  Not two minutes after I shut the door behind George and Mandy, Ruby burst into my dressing room, followed by a slightly amused looking Vanessa. Ruby laughed hysterically about something she was watching on her phone and plopped down on my couch, nearly squishing Cinnamon, who only narrowly escaped Ruby’s hind end only to again be displaced by Vanessa. He tried climbing onto Vanessa’s lap but she raised one side of her upper lips in disgust and pushed his paws off her white pants, brushing them off in case he’d left behind any germs.

  “What’s so funny?” I asked, grabbing the outfit I wore for the duet Ruby and I performed to segue between our acts.

  Changing behind the room divider, I left my ripped jeans and vintage Wonder Woman shirt draped over the top and came out in a simple black shift dress and a baseball cap. While I inconspicuously drummed for Ruby’s final number, I was merely playing the part of the crew, but when I got up from behind that trap set, and the shift dress was yanked off, it revealed a tight little gold number that had thousands of tiny tassels attached to it. I didn’t even want to think how many hours it had taken Harrison to sew the dress and not get the tassels stuck in the hemline. The effect of the dress was quite mesmerizing—when I spun or jumped, the gold tassels moved in unison, like the shiny scales in a school of fish.

  By the time I’d stepped out from behind the screen, Ruby was laughing so hard that she was red in the face, and tears were streaming down her cheeks. She’d already had her makeup applied, but it was starting to melt from all the moisture spilling out of her eyes. Wanda wasn’t going to be happy.

  “If you aren’t going to tell me what’s so funny, just give me your phone so I can watch myself,” I grumbled. Yanking it out of Ruby’s hand, I restarted the video.

  On her screen was a video of me making that one lucky shot that brought Preston to his knees. I remembered the moment vividly, but watching his facial expression on repeat while the crowd broke out in uproarious laughter was too infectious. In another clip, someone had added sound effects. I started giggling, too.

  “Collin sent it to me,” Ruby gasped through her stuttering laugh. “You’ve been so melancholy for the last few days that I figured this would cheer you up.” I squeezed between her and Vanessa and Ruby leaned over, pushing the replay button. “Just one more time, I promise.”

  “It doesn’t take much to entertain you, does it?” Vanessa asked.

  “If you knew Preston, you’d be laughing, too,” Ruby said, fanning herself with her hand.

  Ruby and I laughed anew as the eight-ball jumped off the table, and Vanessa even cracked a smile. “Thanks,” I said, patting the tears that clung to my eyelashes. “I needed that.”

  “You’ve been in a lot of viral videos this week,” Ruby said. “Have you seen this one?”

  Ruby took back her phone and scrolled down to the next video on the list. It was of me drumming on the Paris streets.

  “That was pretty amazing,” I agreed.

  “What is with you lately?” Ruby asked, nudging me with her shoulder. “Why have you been so bummed this week? Usually you’re so pumped for your shows that you’re practically bouncing off the walls.”

  “Kiki? Bouncing off the walls?” Vanessa asked incredulously.

  Ruby swatted her hand. “You know what I mean. It’s just an expression,” she said. “As much as Kiki hates to let on, I know she’s just as excited as I am.”

  I shrugged and felt slightly choked as I thought of how to answer. While I was silent, Ruby clicked the next video in the queue. “Does it maybe have to do with this certain someone?”

  I held the phone closer to my face. It was a clip of Josh carrying me through the park and our second-near kiss in as many weeks. The moment made my heart ache. So close, until he went and drove a wedge between us by kissing that blasted redhead for the whole world to see.

  “Va-va-voom!” Ruby exclaimed, watching our private moment. “I can see why you were so upset with those girls interrupting you. I would have been ticked, too.”

  “It’s probably just as well,” I said, leaning back on the couch. Cinnamon took a running leap at my knees but couldn’t quite scramble onto my lap. I picked him up and played with his fuzzy coat, which smelled like lavender after his last trip to the groomers.

  “You like Josh?” Vanessa asked.

  “I don’t know how to answer that,” I admitted.

  “She’s got it for him bad,” Ruby corrected. I smacked her on the arm but she only laughed.

  “It’s complicat
ed,” I answered the same way Josh had.

  “Why?” Vanessa asked, looking confused. “You like him, he obviously likes you. You go from there.”

  I pushed myself off the couch and moved over to the stool by my vanity. Groaning, I dropped my head onto the counter. “Not everyone can be as forward as you are with men, Vanessa. I don’t want Josh to lose his job. I don’t want to be distracted by having a boyfriend. I don’t know if I’m normal enough to have a relationship. Plus, apparently Josh will kiss any girl who makes eyes at him. That’s a big problem for me.”

  Ruby held up her hand to silence me. “Okay, valid concerns. But you know what? Nobody ever enters a relationship with the assurance that things are going to go perfectly.”

  “Says the girl who’s ever only had one boyfriend, and it ended up working out perfectly for you two,” I shot back.

  “Hey! I’ve had a couple other boyfriends,” Ruby said.

  “Kindergarten doesn’t count,” I retorted. “Seriously, I don’t think either of you are qualified to give me dating advice.”

  “Hang on,” Vanessa said, her brow furrowed as she thought. “I think you’ve got it all wrong.”

  “Look, Vanessa. I know I don’t know you as well as I know Ruby, but from what I’ve heard, you bounce from guy to guy without—”

  “That’s not what I mean,” Vanessa cut in. “I’ve seen a video of your bodyguard kissing that redhead before your morning show performance, and it’s not what you think.”

  Vanessa took Ruby’s phone from her and pulled up a different video, turning the phone to show me but forgetting to push play. I cringed at the thumbnail of the video clip before it started, which of course, had to be a still frame of Josh’s lips stuck to that other woman’s.

  I pushed Vanessa’s hand down before I had to watch them kiss and feel the knife puncture my heart again. The first wound hadn’t even completely healed yet.

  “Why would you think I wanted to watch Josh make out with someone else? I’ve already seen it once before, and that was plenty for me.”