The Restorer

by Sharon Hinck

  Wade took a deep breath and spoke quickly as if the words hurt to say. “The first-year was bitten by a rizzid, and his team panicked. They sent a runner back to the camp, but Tristan was in the middle of a climb with some of the other first-years.” Wade looked away. “He decided not to leave until he got them all down. The runner kept begging him to come—said it was a bad bite. I guess Tristan figured the first-year’s team would know what to do, but by the time he got there, it was too late. The boy was dead.” Wade’s face was somber as he relived the experience. He met my eyes. “It was Cameron’s son who died.”

  My world tilted again. Nothing would ever change my opinion of Cameron as a power-hungry snake. But to lose your son . . . A tiny seed of understanding sprouted in the very hard ground of my feelings.

  “Cameron blamed Tristan,” Wade continued, crossing his beefy arms. “Tried to get him thrown out of the guardians. But the Council cleared him. Still, Tristan stopped working with first-years after that.” Wade sat back, angry at having said anything that tarnished the image of his hero.

  “Back when they found me in Shamgar, Tristan told Kieran he couldn’t take on a student.” My fingers traced the thin scar on my arm. “Kieran told him to get over it.”

  “Tristan isn’t one to get over things,” Linette said softly.

  “And he’s blindly doing whatever the Council tells him to, even though he sees that the Council is moving the wrong direction,” I said. “He’s motivated by guilt.”

  “Not just guilt,” Mark argued. “The Verses appointed the Council to lead the people. He’s doing the right thing in obeying them.”

  “I still think he belongs with his clan,” I insisted.

  “Susan, it’s not your decision to make. And he hasn’t been all that loyal to the Council, either. You told me he was in Shamgar tracking the Rhusican that poisoned Kendra. That wasn’t where he was assigned. And he had no authority to kill the man, either.”

  “The Rhusican had a sword too. It was probably self-defense.” I knew I was making excuses. Tristan admitted that he’d been tracking the Rhusican for two seasons. But I couldn’t agree that it was wrong for him to do it. “Besides, I killed one too, in Braide Wood.”

  “I know.” Mark rolled his shoulders and winced. “The Council is going to want to try you for that.”

  “Bekkah cleared me,” I said.

  “Yes, but Bekkah is dead.”

  I hadn’t thought of that.

  “Markkel,” Linette interrupted, “you know that Wade and I will speak for her. And Kyle saw it happen.”

  Great. Kyle had never hidden his disdain for me. I was sure he’d have wonderful things to say to the Council about me.

  Linette seemed to sense my qualms. “The Council will listen to reason.”

  “Unless they listen to Cameron,” Wade said darkly.

  Now Mark wasn’t the only one with tense shoulders. My stomach knotted, and I wished I hadn’t eaten a second bread loaf.

  Mark squeezed my hand. “We just have to make sure they don’t.”

  We agreed to spend the next day visiting the chief councilmember of each of the ten clans, except for Cameron. We already knew where he stood. If our meetings went well, we would be ready for the official Council session the next day. Cameron would undoubtedly make his accusations against Tristan using the information I had provided. We knew, from what the Rhusican woman told me, that Cameron would urge the Council to banish Tristan. Cameron would also do everything he could to discredit me. And that didn’t even begin to address the issues of Rhusicans and Hazor. If I couldn’t get the Council to trust me or accept me as the Restorer, they wouldn’t listen to anything I had to say. I nibbled the edge of a fingernail.

  “We’ll all be there with you,” Mark said, sensing my growing anxiety.

  “Wade, where are you supposed to be after the Feast? Will it be a problem if you stay to help us?” I didn’t share Mark’s respect for the Council, but I didn’t want anyone else getting in trouble because of me.

  “Tristan assigned me to look out for you. So I’m officially exactly where I’m supposed to be,” Wade said with a smirk. Then his grin faded. “I’m just sorry I didn’t get here sooner. Tristan thought he could trust Case. If he had known . . .”

  I cut him off, not wanting to go down that road again. “I know. It’s okay.” It wasn’t, but given time, I’d get over it. Tristan needed loyalty from me, not blame. And Wade didn’t need to feel guilt.

  Mark released my hand and leaned forward, studying Wade. “How long have you been a guardian?”

  “Almost two years now. I did my first-year training under the head guardian of Corros Fields, but advanced training with Tristan.”

  “Have you ever served in Rendor?”

  Wade shook his head, puzzled.

  Mark looked at Linette. “Would you please check him for poison?”

  Wade pushed his chair back, frowning at all of us in confusion.

  “Please trust us in this,” Mark said. “I’ll explain later.”

  I wasn’t sure what Mark’s questions were all about, but I supposed his suggestion was a wise precaution. “Just let Linette lead you through some Verses,” I told Wade. “I’ll help her. It’ll be good practice for us for tomorrow.”

  Wade wasn’t thrilled with the idea, but shrugged and nodded. Linette drew her chair closer to him and took his hands. I stood beside her and focused my gaze on Wade’s face. They began reciting the Verses and Wade relaxed as he spoke the familiar words with Linette. I smiled and studied his face. His cheeks weren’t as lean as many of the other guardians, and his uneven beard hinted at how young he still was. His eyes were guileless. I thought of a Saint Bernard pup with oversized paws, eager, loyal, and a bit clumsy. Although, there was nothing clumsy about him when we sparred. He didn’t have Tristan’s finesse or Kieran’s reckless skill with a blade, but he was still a well-trained guardian and light years beyond my abilities.

  Something shifted in Wade’s face. I rubbed my eyes. No, it wasn’t his expression that had changed. Instead, a tiny pinwheel swirled deep in the pupils of his eyes. As my eyes enhanced their focus, I saw a miniature of Wade’s face, mouth wide with fear. Outside his home in Braide Wood, the Rhusican had told Wade that he would never be as good as the other guardians.

  He needed to hear one of the Verses that would speak to that doubt. My limited knowledge of their sacred words frustrated me, until I thought of a plaque hanging over my desk at home. I touched Linette’s shoulder and knelt in front of Wade.

  “Wade, would you say this verse from my own people? ‘I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.’ Say it with me.”

  Drops of sweat appeared on his temples, and he gripped the arms of the chair. Linette began singing a quiet melody about the might of the One. Wade spoke the words after me in a raspy whisper and then repeated them with more confidence. Watching the inner struggle, I breathed in relief at the moment that the strange vision in his eyes disappeared. He sagged back into the chair, looking at us, bewildered.

  “You mean they had me? They were controlling me?” He was horrified.

  “No. It was just a little suggestion he planted. They try to add strength to our own doubts. But you’ll be fine now.” I looked at Linette. “I saw something that time. I could see the lie like a tiny picture deep in his eyes. I hope that happens again tomorrow.”

  Linette beamed. “Another Restorer gift.”

  Determination and a sense of purpose rose up in me, giving me new strength. I smiled too, until I looked back at Mark.

  His jaw was clenched. I could read his thoughts. Linette’s words had brought back his fear of living through the nightmare of seeing another Restorer die. I hurried to sit beside him on the couch, wanting to reassure him.

  My husband shook off his mood and stood. “Wade, Guardian of Braide Wood, will you protect my house
?” His tone was formal.

  Wade sprang up and stood stiffly in front of him. “Markkel, councilmember of Rendor, it will be my honor to protect your house with my life.”

  “What house?” I whispered to Linette, looking around the borrowed rooms we were using. It sounded as if they were saying something important, but I didn’t quite understand.

  “He means you,” she whispered back to me. “His house is his family.”

  Mark turned to me, and I couldn’t find my easy-going husband in his stern face for a moment. “Susan, when word gets out that I’m back, my life will be in danger again. If the Council believes you to be the Restorer, your life will be in danger—from Kahlarean assassins or from the role you’ll fill. Either way, you need a protector. I never finished my guardian training. Besides, it’s been years since I used a sword.”

  I nodded my understanding. This reminder of the threats we both would face frightened me. Wade’s eagerness to pledge his aid touched me, and I was impressed by Mark’s humility in asking for help. I had a feeling he wasn’t half bad with his sword and would have enjoyed the role of my sole protector. Along with that mix of feelings, a wave of fatigue washed through me, pulling all the energy down from my head, through my chest—which was aching again—and out through my toes. I tilted my head back against the couch and closed my eyes. Wade left to stand guard outside the door of our borrowed rooms, while Mark and Linette spoke softly to each other. I tried to ignore them.

  “She’s so tired. I think using her gifts is hard on her,” Linette was saying. “Maybe this isn’t the best time.”

  “We don’t have any more time.” Mark’s voice sounded weary. “Tomorrow she’ll begin to meet the councilmembers.” I wanted to scold them for talking about me when I was sitting right there, but it seemed like too much effort.

  “Susan.” Mark’s voice was close to my ear.

  “Hm?”

  “Susan, wake up.” Mark’s words grew more insistent. “We’ll go to bed soon.”

  I started to smile in answer to that, but remembered that Linette was still in the room. I sighed and forced my head up and my eyes open. “What?” I asked, a bit cranky.

  Mark smiled at my bleary eyes and placed a light kiss on my forehead. Then he rested his forehead against mine for a moment before sitting back. “Susan, Linette is going to search for any poison in you. I’ll try to help her. I know I don’t have Restorer powers, but I can sing with her.”

  I was wide-awake now. “Wait a minute. You were with me at the tower. The One spoke to me. I’m fine now.” I curled up more firmly into the corner of the couch, tucking my feet under me. I didn’t know why his suggestion bothered me so much, but it did.

  “Susan, Markkel is right. It’s a wise precaution.” Linette’s voice was timid, and I knew she wouldn’t push the issue.

  I turned toward Mark. “You’re just doing this to get back at me because I didn’t trust you at first,” I accused. I ignored the hurt on his face and pulled my knees up in front of me, hugging my shins. After what Cameron had done to me, I didn’t want anyone poking around in my soul, finding things, uncovering things.

  He moved closer to me on the couch but didn’t touch me. “Susan, I’m not Cameron. We aren’t Rhusicans. We won’t do anything to hurt you.”

  I met his eyes. Tears welled up in mine, causing his face to blur. “Don’t make me do this,” I whispered.

  “I can’t let you face councilmembers who may be controlled by Rhusicans if I don’t know you are as strong and healed as you can possibly be.” Mark’s jaw was set. “Do you want to go ahead with our plans tomorrow or not? We can go through the portal and leave, instead.”

  I glared at him. “You know I can’t do that.”

  “Then let us help you.” His tone softened.

  I felt betrayed all over again. He saw how frightened I was, but he was going to make me do this anyway. I squeezed my hands together to stop their trembling, locking them tighter around my shins. How could he not trust me after the day we had shared? Why would he demand this senseless test from me now, when I was so tired? I dropped my forehead to rest against my knees. “Go away.”

  “No,” he answered simply.

  I groaned in frustration, asking God why he had cursed me with such a stubborn man for a husband. “Fine.” I lifted my chin. I couldn’t look at Mark, but I faced Linette squarely.

  Her skin flushed with worry and apology, but she pulled her chair closer and reached for my hands. “I’m sorry.”

  I clenched my jaw and didn’t answer. I’d submit to this silly exercise, but I wasn’t going to like it.

  She sighed. “Repeat the Verses. I know you haven’t learned them all. Say them after me.” She began with the creed she had used with Mark.

  I repeated each line of the creed, feeling Mark’s eyes on me from where he sat nearby on the couch. I wanted to tell him to leave, but I knew he wouldn’t.

  Linette reached the promise of the Restorer. I swallowed and recited the familiar words along with her. After that, Mark relaxed, settling back into the couch. Linette smiled gently and continued to the promise of the Deliverer. “We wait in the darkness for the One who brings light. The Deliverer will come, and with His coming, all darkness will be defeated.”

  I opened my mouth to repeat the words.

  A wall of pain slammed into me. My right arm began to burn, and my heart pounded. Linette’s face and the room around me disappeared. A grey mist covered me.

  I tried to scream, but couldn’t breathe. “No!” The moan was all my clogged throat could manage.

  In the fog, auburn curls framed the smiling face of the Rhusican woman. Do you think if your god could hear you, he would have let us take you? Wouldn’t he have stopped the pain? He didn’t rescue you. He gave you to us. There was no Deliverer. I was alone on the edge of a chasm. Nothing but darkness and emptiness stretched before me.

  “Not again,” I gasped. “Please God, not again.” I heard Cameron’s laughter, but then the sound changed. It wasn’t his voice. It was the Rhusican I had killed, mocking me with an eerie overlay of low, growling laughter and high shrieks. I cringed as far back as I could. “Help me. Someone stop them.” Suddenly I was kneeling by Bekkah’s body, acrid yellow smoke stinging my eyes as I rolled her over. But this time, as the lifeless face became visible, it was my face. And then I was back in Cameron’s office, trapped and abandoned. He was standing over me, holding my sword. “No!”

  For a moment I was aware of Linette. Her voice was edged with panic. “Nothing is helping, Markkel. I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do.”

  I felt myself sinking away from her voice and remembered the long battle on the path to Braide Wood. I couldn’t face that tug-of-war again. I tried to squeeze her hand in mine, but couldn’t feel anything. I was limbless, formless, slipping away. Her voice faded completely, and a crushing weight of emptiness pressed against my heart, holding it back from beating with life. The grey mist became spotted with black.

  “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.” The words were spoken in a strong baritone, but as if from a great distance.

  I recognized them and some part of me reached out.

  “Your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life.” The words floated under and around me and held me—a warm cocoon forming within the cold mist.

  My mouth was able to move again. I managed a small breath. “I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever,” I whispered.

  “That’s right, Susan.” Mark’s voice was firm. “He will never forget you. He will never lose you or abandon you.” Strong arms surrounded me. Someone was holding me, rocking me. “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.”
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br />   “The Lord is my shepherd,” I repeated. The crushing pain eased. Had it happened again, or was it just a memory of earlier torture? I could feel my hands again. Linette pulled hers away for a moment, and her footsteps crossed the room. Mark’s voice continued, and I rested, letting the strength of the verses from my own world cut through the ties of the Rhusican lies. One by one, the cords broke, and the pull toward the chasm lessened.

  Something cold pressed against my palm. My sword. I was able to open my eyes to stare at the shimmering blade. Linette’s face reflected in its luster. Her eyes were full of tears, and she looked shaken.

  “The Lord is my shepherd,” Mark said again. I repeated it after him, slowly feeling strength returning. “I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures.” I recited the words with him, letting myself relax into his arms. “He leads me beside quiet waters.” He stopped suddenly, and I tilted my face up to look into his. His eyes were wide as we spoke the next words together, a new understanding hitting us both.

  “He restores my soul.”

  The One was my Restorer. I had wanted to bury the pain and doubt, never to go back to face it. But the One had let me see the hurt that still cut a fissure through my faith. He showed me that He had been with me, even in the valley of the shadow of death. He drew out the poison and washed it away with anointing oil. And I understood: I could only be a Restorer when I let the One continue to restore my soul.

  The mist could have stayed hidden in the background for years. Or it might have welled up when I tried to discern poison in others tomorrow. If Mark hadn’t insisted . . .

  I dropped my sword and pulled myself up to hug Mark. When I leaned back, I saw how pale he looked.

  “I didn’t realize,” he said, voice thick with regret. “I didn’t know until I heard you—how bad it had been.”

  “I’m all right.”

  “And then we didn’t know how to bring you back. What if . . .”