by Paris Rose
“I see that you’re enjoying yourself. I like that.” Christoff chuckled. He was an amazing lover and he knew it.
He pushed my knees against my shoulders and pinned my arms above my head. He nibbled my neck before pounding me with hard and passionate thrusts. I enjoyed the way he used his body to press against my clit each time that he entered me. I threw one of my legs over his shoulder, and he massaged my calf as he drove into me. I enjoyed looking into his eyes as he took me. The intensity in his gaze set my insides on fire. He grunted each time he entered. I was so turned on by the way he was enjoying himself inside me. He took me over the edge several times before exploding inside of me with a powerful thrust that pulsed through my entire body.
He collapsed on top of me, then rolled over and pulled me into his arms as we both struggled to catch our breath. “Making love to you makes me feel like a rock star,” Christoff whispered in my ear and kissed me on the cheek.
“You are a rock star, silly,” I said, giggling as I nuzzled against him.
“On my own, I’m just a guy who makes music that a lot of people enjoy. With you by my side, I’m a rock star.” Christoff kissed me softly on the lips. “No matter what happens, I never want to let you go. I love you, Gia.”
“I love you, too, Christoff. You make me feel like a queen.” I rested my head on his shoulder, and I allowed myself to settle into his embrace. I took a deep breath and got lost in his natural scent. His presence filled me with peace, and everything about him felt like home.
Chapter 9
Our trip provided an atmosphere of much-needed relaxation that allowed us to reconnect more deeply than we had since before his trip to Germany. Despite the hard times, I knew that Christoff was the man for me. He made me feel alive. There was a chemistry between us that made my heart skip a beat whenever we made physical contact. Not only that, but I felt his devotion to me every time he looked into my eyes. He squeezed my hand and sighed as we turned onto our street. I was excited to return to the home that we had built together in this renewed, well rested, and madly in love state. As we approached the gate that protected our property, I noticed something out of the ordinary. There was an LAPD squad car across the street from our property.
“Christoff, did you lock up before we left?” I could hear the panic in my own voice. I started to worry that someone may have burglarized our property while we were away.
“Yes, Gia, baby, don’t worry. I locked up and put the security system on. And remember, the gate always automatically locks behind us. No one is getting into our fortress, baby. Trust me on that one.”
“I get nervous when I start to see cops show up, especially so close to our home, but you always make me feel so safe, Christoff.” I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. I felt his muscles tighten.
“Gia?”
“Yes, Christoff?”
“Please don’t freak out, but there is something I need to tell you. I should have told you sooner, but I knew that it would upset you, so I wanted to wait for the right time.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but the sound of wrapping on the driver-side window caused me to lose my train of thought. I looked over Christoff’s shoulder and made eye contact with a uniformed police officer. Christoff grabbed my hand and kissed it.
“Don’t worry, Gia, everything will be fine.”
“Mr. Hartmann, we need to speak with you.” Christoff placed his fingers to his lips and gestured to the police officer that he wanted to get out of the car. The officer nodded and Christoff stepped out. He and the officer walked over to the squad car. I couldn’t hear what they were saying. My heart was racing and I felt sick to my stomach. We’d had such a great time in Wisconsin that I’d forgotten how weird Christoff had been acting when he came back home after being away from me for several days. I wracked my brain with different scenarios of what Christoff could have done to draw the attention of the LAPD. The only thing I could think of was that he had hurt Axel when he found out what happened between us, but he’d said he’d left Axel in one piece. I was praying whatever it was wasn’t as serious as I imagined. Oh no, if Christoff goes to jail, it will be my fault. I totally caused this.
I would give anything to undo what happened with Axel, but it was too late. No amount of remorse would take back the pain I’d caused Christoff or the havoc that I had brought upon us. I looked in the rearview mirror. Christoff’s back was to me and the officer was facing him. They looked deep in conversation. My breathing sped up, and I felt myself start to perspire. I closed my eyes and covered my face with my hands. I felt like I was in a nightmare. I wanted to escape, but there was no way out. I had worked myself into such a frenzy that I began to shake uncontrollably. I tried to focus on my breath to keep myself calm, but it didn’t do much. Each time I thought I found peace, another wave of anxiety would overtake me. I hoped they didn’t arrest Christoff. Just when I thought I was about to completely lose it, I heard the driver-side door open. My stomach sank when I saw the expression on Christoff’s face. He was usually so stoic, but in this moment, his jaw was clenched and there was a frantic look in his eyes. I had never seen him look so disturbed before.
“Christoff, what the hell is going on?” I shrieked. I was hysterical.
“I will tell you when we get inside, Gia. I know you’re upset, but I need a few minutes of quiet. Can you give me that?”
“I’ll try,” I exhaled.
Christoff grabbed my hand and squeezed. “I love you, Gia.”
“I love you, too, Christoff.”
We parked the car in silence. Christoff caressed the small of my back as he led me through the garage and into the kitchen.
“Let’s sit on the couch so we can talk. Do you want anything to drink?” Christoff spoke quietly.
“No, I’m okay for now.”
“My mouth is dry. I’m going to grab some water. I will meet you in the living room.”
I felt like I was in a daze as I made my way toward the sofa. I cringed as I sat down and memories of being with Axel in this very room flooded back to me. I felt disgusted with myself and the domino effect of chaos I’d caused from my misdeed. The weight of Christoff sitting down next to me startled me out of my thoughts.
“Christoff, I’m freaking out inside. I need you to tell me what’s going on.”
“I’m so sorry to put you through this, Gia. You don’t deserve this. Actually, I wouldn’t wish the stress I’m going through on anyone, but especially not you.”
“Christoff, whatever it is, I think I can handle it. You disappearing and keeping secrets from me and having the police show up to our home has shaken me up quite a bit. I do deserve it though. After all, I have a feeling I caused all of this. But being kept in the dark is making me sick.”
“I know, baby.” Christoff took my hand in his and rubbed my knuckles with his thumb. “You know I’m not usually fazed by much, but this situation has me sick, too. I don’t know what’s going to happen between us once I tell you what I’m up against. Whatever happens, Gia, even if you choose not to stick by me through this, know that I love you. If you want to leave me, I understand, but I really do need you now more than ever.”
“I love you, Christoff, and I will stick by you the best I know how. What have you gotten yourself into?”
Christoff squeezed my hand and looked past me. The fact that he seemed to be looking through me really rattled me. Christoff always made eye contact with me. As if he were reading my thoughts, he exhaled loudly and brought his gaze back to mine. “Gia, I’ve been accused of a horrible crime. At first, I was blackmailed, and, when I didn’t give the person what they wanted, they brought their threat to fruition and accused me of something terrible that I would never do.”
“Who is it, and what did they accuse you of?”
“Gia, don’t flip out, okay?”
“I won’t as long as you promise to be honest with me and stop hiding things from me.”
“What I’m going to say isn’t going to sound good, bu
t I need you to trust me, so I’m going to be totally transparent here.”
“That’s exactly what I need from you, Christoff, transparency. And I need you to trust me enough to know that I’ll trust you.” I gave him a reassuring smile and squeezed his hand. “Okay, now go ahead and tell me everything.”
“Okay.” Christoff nodded and swallowed hard before opening his mouth to speak again. “All right, here we go…” Christoff’s voice trailed off. “Okay, so when you first told me that you hooked up with Axel, I totally lost it. I mean, I went temporarily insane. I’d never felt so hurt… so betrayed before. I felt like I lost the love of my life and my best friend at the same time. I knew you and I had our problems, but I never expected something like that to happen. Axel has been petty toward me in the past, but he knew how much I care about you and how much you mean to me, so I couldn’t believe that he would do that. And I couldn’t believe that you would do that.”
My eyes started to tear up as I felt an intense pang of guilt over how badly I had hurt him.
Christoff exhaled loudly. “When I left here after you told me what happened, I just drove around in a rage. I don’t even remember where I went, but, an hour or so after I left, I ended up at Axel’s place. I roughed him up a little, and I told him what I would do to him if he ever came near you again. I’ll spare you the details of that conversation. If I can help it, you will never see that side of me. After I left Axel, my rage had quelled a bit, but I still felt sick inside. I’m not used to feeling that strongly over anything, so I didn’t know what to do to make myself feel better. Bianca had been texting me earlier in the day, so in a moment of weakness, I caved in and texted her back to take my mind off of things. She invited me over just to talk and have some wine, and I stupidly accepted her invitation.”
Tears began to roll down my cheeks as I shook my head back and forth. “Christoff, no, please tell me it’s not true. You’re just telling me this to get back at me. You didn’t really go over there. Did you?” My voice came out barely above a whisper.
“Gia, it’s not what you think. Hear me out. I need you to listen to exactly what I’m telling you and not make any assumptions.” Christoff placed his fingers below my chin and forced me to look directly into his eyes. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“Yes. Go on, Christoff.”
“Thank you, Gia. So I went over there, and we talked. I know that I shouldn’t have, but I told her what happened between us. She pretended to comfort me, but I realized that she did not have my best interest at heart by the way her eyes lit up when I told her we were having problems. I should have left right then and there, but I was too weak. I’m not telling you the details to hurt you, Gia, but I need you to know exactly what happened, okay?”
“Okay.” I nodded.
“We had been drinking, and she started to get really grabby. I let her flirt a little, but when she started trying to go under my clothes, I took her hands off of me, placed them in her lap, and told her to stop. At first, she didn’t take me seriously, so she got in my face and tried to kiss me. I gently pushed her away and told her I wasn’t interested. She came at me again and tried to straddle me, and I could see she was starting to cry a little, and she kept saying, ‘What do you mean you’re not interested? I know you want me, you can’t hide it.’
“I got fed up with her, and I said, ‘No, Bianca, I don’t want you. You’re not my type anymore. I’m only interested in women who genuinely care about me. You only care about yourself. You don’t even know me. You’re just obsessed with your image of me.’
“She started crying hysterically and said, ‘That’s not true. I really want to be with you. I love you, Christoff. We belong together and you know it.’ She came at me again. She had the craziest look in her eye. I stood up to leave and she threw her whole body at me. I took her arms from around my neck and pushed her back a few steps to put some space between us. I told her to stop touching me and that I was leaving. She told me if I walked out of that door, she would make my life a living hell, but if I stayed, we could live happily ever after, and I could be the “luckiest man on earth.” Her words, not mine.
“I turned and walked out the door, and she started screaming and swearing at me, and she said I’d be sorry. I left, and about twenty minutes later, she started calling me nonstop. I ignored her calls for the first hour, but then I finally picked up. I yelled at her to stop calling me, and I told her to lose my number. She yelled back and told me if I didn’t come back to her place and hold her and be with her that night, she was going to drag my name through the mud. She threatened to say all kinds of horrible things about me. I knew that she was the type of person that was capable of carrying out her threats, but I didn’t want to reward her bad behavior, nor did I want to betray you, so I told her to fuck off. The next day, I got a call from my manager saying that I’d been accused of rape. I immediately called my lawyer, and we tried to make it go away, but Bianca had already gotten to the press and the police.”
“Christoff, oh my God.” I gasped and covered my mouth with my hands. “I hate to ask this, but I have to. Is your semen inside of her?”
“Gia! Of course not! How would my… how would that get inside of her? Wait, you think I slept with her?”
“I’m not making any accusations. I’m just asking a question. I want to make sure I have all the facts.”
“I just told you everything, play-by-play. I can’t have you doubting me right now, Gia.” Christoff started to raise his voice, but he stopped himself and took a deep breath. He turned so that his body was completely facing me, took both my hands in his, and looked into my eyes. “Gia, this is not going to go away anytime soon, and I understand if you want no part of it. You can walk away now, and I wouldn’t hold it against you. But baby, I need you now more than ever, so if you choose to stay, and I hope you do, I’m really going to need you in my corner. I need you to trust me. I need you to believe in me. I need to know right now, are you with me, or is this it?” He squeezed both of my hands.
I took a deep breath as I felt myself start to tremble. When I brought my eyes back to Christoff’s gaze, an electric charge pulsed through me. Even in his weakest moment, this man was my strength, and, despite all of the pain that we had gone through together, he was my joy. He was my best friend, my partner, my teammate. I had no idea how we were going to get through this, but I knew that no matter what Bianca or anyone else threw at us, I wasn’t leaving his side. And I couldn’t believe it took me this long to finally see it, but, all at once, I felt secure and realized that he had never had any intentions of leaving my side either. I could see it in his gaze, and I could feel it in the way he was holding my hands. He needed me just as much as I needed him, if not more so.
“Christoff, I’ll be here by your side for as long as you need me. I’m so sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you, but I hope that I can make it right.” I spoke quietly as I caressed his face. He pulled me into his embrace, and we held each other in silence until it was time for bed.
***
In the weeks that passed after the police stopped by to question Christoff, we kept to ourselves. The one time we tried to go out, we were ambushed by reporters and the paparazzi. It was a really unpleasant and exhausting experience for both of us. It seemed that, in the court of public opinion, the principle “innocent until proven guilty” was just political rhetoric. I felt like Christoff and I were prisoners inside of our own home. We couldn’t even cuddle on the couch and watch TV without news of the accusations interrupting our quality time. Both Christoff’s publicist and his lawyers were adamant about him saying as little as possible to the media. He released a public statement about a week ago and had been quiet ever since. Meanwhile, Bianca had been all over every talk show and news outlet, telling her story through tears about what Christoff allegedly did to her and how badly it had ruined her life.
When I was forced to be in the same room as Bianca while Christoff was in the hospital, I didn’t think it was eve
n possible for me to despise her any more than I already did. Back then, I had no way of knowing that my loathing for Bianca would grow so deep that I would feel it even when I slept. I resented this woman with every fiber of my being. What she was putting Christoff through wasn’t fair. He was a good man, and he didn’t deserve it. I knew if I ever ran into her, I would be the one on the news because I would hurt her.
I rolled over in bed and nuzzled closer to Christoff. The warmth from his body and the smell of his natural scent immediately quelled the rage that was brewing within me from thinking of Bianca. I let my hands rest on his chest as I playfully nibbled on his earlobe. I was so blown away by how strong he had been through all of this. Even though he was being persecuted by the press, and even though some of his friends had lost faith in him, he still continued to handle things with composure. I could tell everything was weighing on him, but he never took any of it out on me. Even though it was impossible for us to go out together, he arranged special date nights for us at home, and he encouraged me to go out with my friends and take a break from the hell on earth Bianca had created in our lives. I ran my fingers through his hair and kissed him on the neck. I was so in love with this man. I’d never met anyone so strong, so resilient, and so forgiving. He rolled over on his back, put his arms around me, and pulled me into a deep kiss. Mmmm! Even during the most stressful of times, his kiss still gave me butterflies. I nibbled his bottom lip before jerking back away from him.
