by Lily Morton
Bram adjusts Charlie’s microphone stand for Nell’s height and then grabs his own. “You might have noticed that we’ve misplaced our singer,” he drawls to the accompaniment of a lot of shouting and I’m worried to hear a few boos. Fuck, I don’t want the crowd turning on her because I’ll go apeshit if anyone upsets her. I sling my arm around her and hug her in a show of solidarity while the back of my mind is focusing incessantly on Mabe. Fuck, is she okay? I don’t think Charlie could survive it if anything happened to her. Is that what love is, being hostage to someone else? I shudder slightly but I notice that I’m not as adamant about the horror as I normally am. I don’t want to think about why that is.
It’s at this point that I catch movement out of the corner of my eye and I turn to see Mick gesturing. Catching my eye he gives a big grin and a double thumbs up and I relax so suddenly I almost feel weak. Nell catches my slight movement immediately. Sometimes I swear it’s like we’re attached by some invisible string which is what has made the last week so hard. I’ve opened my mouth so many times to tell her stuff and had to forcibly turn away from her instead.
She brings me back to myself when she smiles at Mick and then hugs me close. “Well that’s alright then,” she says calmly and I almost laugh because she sounds like she’s getting ready to have a cup of tea, not sing in front of over 5000 people, and once again I wonder at the anomaly of her.
Bram is winding up now and I’m pleased to see that the audience looks a little more receptive. He must have guilt tripped them while I was behaving like a total pussy at the back. “So you’ve seen a little of her tonight but let me tell you there’s a lot more to be seen. Let’s have a shout out for Nelly Slater.” Cheers erupt and Nell stirs and I almost tighten my grip for a second. I honestly feel like one of my children is going to school for the first time and I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me. I want to do everything for this girl, lay myself at her feet and take every piece of shit that life’s going to throw at her, but she’s a strong woman and I have to let her do this. My hands release and she steps forward into the spotlight as Bram moves back shaking his head at me for being the obviously pathetic motherfucker that I am.
Our attention instantly shifts to Nell because in the process of moving forwards it’s like she has a body transplant. Gone are the slightly hesitant steps, and instead she strides forward in a lazy, measured pace almost as if she’s stalking the audience. When she reaches the front she rests one of her feet on the light in front of her and leans forward, and at the sight of her with those long, fucking bare legs clad in battered, old biker boots I shoot hard as a rock quicker than I ever have before. I hold the violin in front of me shocked because nothing ever disturbs my concentration on stage. However, she’s not nothing, she’s everything and I know that she’s about to prove it.
She leans forward and smiles at the front row and already most of the men are looking entranced. “Well hello there,” she purrs. “Thanks for putting up with me.”
Just then some fuckwit shouts out loudly, “Never mind the foreplay, show us your tits love!” I step forward and I swear there’s a red haze over my eyes. I’m going to find that fucker and beat the shit out of him. Bram steps in front of me.
“Don’t be stupid,” he shouts. “Look at her,” and I turn and my mouth gapes open. Nell’s standing there and looks like she’s going to pull off her blouse to the accompaniment of a lot of cheering, but then she stops and shakes a finger at the bloke chidingly making a tsk tsk noise.
“Really? I’ve heard that you don’t go for the old foreplay. You fucking cheapskate, at least buy me dinner first!” she shouts. There’s a roar of approval and the man laughs out loud blowing her a kiss and I relax. She’s got this. “Now are we going to sing for you or have I got to talk to Don Juan over there for a bit longer?” she purrs.
“Sing!” comes the reply from the crowd.
“Well alright then,” she laughs. “Now we’re going to do things a little differently for the next song. Because I’m singing I’ve handed my trusty violin to someone else. Do you want to know who?” They shout and holler and I grin. “Well now, I’m going to let Sid Hudson play it for me. Have you met him?” The roof seems to raise with cheers and she laughs. “Be gentle with him. He’s sort of a virgin at this!” Bram laughs out loud and I hold the violin out and curtsey mockingly to the accompaniment of a lot of very rude comments. She grins widely at me, her cheeks rosy and her eyes so bright they hurt. “Be kind,” she chides the hecklers. “There’s many a good tune played on an old fiddle,” and then she holds up her hand obviously ready to get on with the show. “Okay boys are you ready?” and we swing into action.
Nell
I stare out at the audience and I feel invincible. I’d forgotten what a rush it is to hold people’s attention like this at the front. Then Adam plays the first chords of the song and suddenly Sid is next to me cradling the violin under his chin. He holds the bow away before pressing it to the violin and playing the beautiful opening to the song. He’s amazing just like I knew he would be, full of power and grace and the notes slide from him so fluidly almost like silk. Then Seth kicks in with the drums and within seconds it’s me and I open my mouth and lose myself in the first words of a beautiful love song, all about waking up so in love with someone that it amazes you.
Drinking in the morning sun
Blinking in the morning sun
Shaking off a heavy one
Yeah heavy like a loaded gun
What made me behave that way?
Using words I never say
I can only think it must be love
Oh anyway it’s looking like a beautiful day
I sing about loving his eyes and seeing the light, and I’m singing to Sid even though the audience is roaring along. I’m singing it to him because he’s the only thing that I can see at this moment, his face alight with happiness as the bow flies over the strings and music pours from him. Then we reach the chorus and suddenly Bram is next to us. I motion to the crowd to clap along and Bram holds his hand to his ear indicating that he wants to hear them sing, and this beautiful theatre rings out loud to one of the most rousing choruses that I’ve ever sung.
I look around and the boys are all grinning widely, exultation on their faces, and for the first time in three years I feel like I belong and that I’m with the family that I choose and not the one that was chosen for me. Then we storm to the close of the song and the final chorus, and suddenly there’s an enormous upswell of a roar and Charlie is there grinning maniacally, his arm around Sid and singing along with wild eyes.
It’s almost an anti-climax when we finish and for a second there’s silence and then the most enormous roar of approval. I cup my hand to my ear laughing and then raise my hands in a gimme more gesture, and the audience stamps and cheers. Out of the corner of my eye I see Charlie shouting something in Sid’s ear and then Sid shouts out and grabbing Charlie by his waist, he swings him round laughing.
I stare at Charlie. He looks different somehow. He always looks happy on stage but there’s a new dimension to him now. He mutters something to Sid who grins widely and stalks over to Bram and Adam who are standing by Seth hunched over his drums grinning. He shouts something to them and Seth laughs, tossing his drumsticks into the air. I smile watching them even though I haven’t got the faintest idea of what’s happening, and then Charlie comes towards me, grabbing me round the waist and lowering me into a Hollywood sweep.
“That was fucking fantastic,” he shouts. “Thank you for that Nell. You don’t know how grateful I am.”
“Why?” I’m mystified. “Is Mabe okay?” He smiles so widely that I think his jaw will crack and opens his mouth to say something, but the audience obviously think that something else is happening because we’re still on stage, so they start to stamp and shout. Charlie smiles at me and after standing me up again he goes to his microphone. The noise gets louder and he smiles, just standing casually altering the height of the microphone stand. I�
��ve never seen anyone with such a command of the audience because when he’s ready he gestures for them to quiet down and they instantly fall silent. I feel a presence next to me and it’s Sid.
“What’s happening?” I ask, but instead of answering he just grins and I stare at him because he looks so young and happy.
“Listen,” he says, nodding to Charlie.
“Well now,” Charlie drawls. “I think we should carry on the tradition of the evening which has been a head fuck for everyone. Do you want to hear another one?”
The audience roars with approval and Sid leans down in his sidelong stoop and whispers in my ear making me shiver. “It’s going to be Florence and the Machine’s ‘Heavy in Your Arms’”
“Why?”
“It means something to him and Mabe. I don’t know. I also don’t ask because I’m pretty sure that the answer might make my ears bleed.” I laugh and start to mentally run through the lyrics, but then Charlie starts talking and I forget what I’m thinking.
“So, I think you should all say a huge thank you to Nelly for filling in for me.” A huge cheer rings out and I curtsey, making Sid laugh. “Now seeing as you did that so nicely and you were so good to our girl I think that you should all be the first to know that I’m going to be a dad.” I gasp but it’s drowned out by the huge wave of noise that I think could be heard back in London.
I turn to Sid grinning widely. “You’re going to be an uncle,” I shriek, and he laughs throwing his head back.
“I know it’s fucking brilliant,” he shouts, but then Charlie holds up his hand.
“In honour of my impending fatherhood we’re going to do another song. It’s Florence and the Machine’s ‘Heavy in your Arms’ and it’s a song that was playing the first time that I made love to my wife.” He bows mockingly at the cheers and Sid groans, wincing.
“I fucking knew it. Eugh!” I laugh really loudly bending slightly, and then see Charlie raise his hand and the intro starts.
Ten minutes later we run off the stage to cheering that seems to go on forever, and I laugh as I turn to see Charlie being pulled into the hospitality room buried under a wave of man hugs from the boys, and to the accompaniment of a huge cheer from within. When it finishes I hear Mabe saying very indignantly. “Is it my imagination Charlie, or did I just hear you announce to 5000 people that the first song we fucked to was that one?” There’s a wave of laughter and I can hear Charlie protesting.
“I said made love Mabe, even though it made me sound like a completely sad twat. That must be a sign of my impending maturity.” He pauses. “I think we’re going to be fine babe.”
I laugh but turning around I come to a complete stop when I find Sid leaning against the wall staring at me with a gaze heavy with some deep meaning. I gasp, feeling the laughter change to something deeper that fizzes through me making me tingle. I see his chest move in a sudden deep breath and everything seems hot around me like I’m standing in a dark cave unable to see anything else.
Then he moves and his warm hand slides down my arm until he reaches my hand. Grabbing it he tightens his grip and jerks me round sharply to face away from him. “Move,” he says gutturally and I groan as I feel him hard against me. Moving quickly he pushes me ahead of him until we reach a door. Pushing me forward into what I dimly recognise to be a cleaning cupboard he shuts the door with a sharp click and we stare at each other for what seems like forever while I feel all the passion that we had on stage arc between us, and then he makes an animal sound and in two strides he’s on me.
Grabbing my face between his long, clever fingers he stares at me for a second and then from one beat to another his mouth falls on me and we’re lost. In a dim part of my mind I register that he’s hot and damp, that his lips are soft and warm and his body is hard against me, his cock rigid and pushing against my stomach. Then his tongue twines with mine and I’m lost, descending into a dark, red lit world where the only reality is our panting breaths and groans and the rustle of clothing.
He pulls away from me and I gasp a protest trying to pull him back but in the dim light filtering from under the door I see him smirk and he grabs my hands placing them on his head. “You might want to keep them there,” he says in a hoarse, deep voice.
“Why? What are you … oh God,” I moan, as he lowers himself to kneel on the floor and reaching under my skirt he rips my knickers clean off. He licks his lips making his intentions very clear.
“I’ve been wanting to taste you since the moment I saw you at that audition,” he whispers, and I open my mouth to say I don’t know what, but then all thought is lost as he spreads my thighs and buries his head between them. He licks me in one long sweep up my pussy ending at my clit which he delicately licks. I moan and grab his head, clutching my fingers in the sweet, soft fall of his hair. He looks up at me and it’s the most erotic thing that I’ve ever seen – Sid Hudson framed between my legs. He closes his eyes for a second and inhales deeply. “Christ you smell fantastic and the taste of you … it’s unbelievable.”
We stare at each other for a second and I reach out and trace down one of his high, broad cheekbones until I end up at his jaw which I cup feeling the harsh rasp of his stubble. Then he smiles carnally and leaning forward he buries his face in my pussy and eats me as if I’m dessert. He’s not playing around now. He suckles with sharp, sweet pulls on my clit and from the noises and groans that are coming from him I know that he’s enjoying this as much as I am, and it’s this knowledge that makes me let go in a way that I’ve never done with a man before. I slide further down the wall, canting my hips lewdly and almost riding his face, feeling his stubble harsh on my inner thighs and the sharpness of his beard against my clit. Holding me up with one hand he reaches up and I feel him slide two of his long, talented fingers inside me. He thrusts them in and out and then makes a swirling motion inside me that I swear makes my eyes cross and I break. Letting go of his hair I push my hand across my mouth to muffle my choked scream as I come and come while he licks me madly. I come down slowly and he soothes me with slow licks until I squirm and push him away.
“So sensitive,” I gasp. He smiles slightly but it’s a strained one as he rises to his full height. His eyes are hooded and at half-mast and he’s breathing heavily. He draws his hand across his face and then lowers his fingers to his mouth sucking on them.
“Sweet,” he says in a voice so hoarse and deep it’s hard to understand him, and I moan and shift as incredibly I feel myself getting wet again.
Reaching down he grabs my head, angling my mouth to his satisfaction and kisses me deeply. His kiss is ravenous and he eats at my mouth as he thrusts himself against me, his cock so hard that it almost hurts. He pushes his hands down and I feel him grip my arse, and obeying his unspoken command I lift up and wrap my legs around him. We both pause and groan at the feeling of his cock hitting my clit dead centre, and then we go at each other like animals, rutting against each other, our only thought to be closer, to get him deep inside me.
He reaches down to my skirt and I shift so that he can reach my hem and gather it up until it reaches my waist. He groans as if in pain when he sees my bare pussy and I mewl in protest, seeking his mouth again. “Wait baby’” he pants, reaching to his jeans where he rips at the buttons. His cock springs free, hard and eager, and I reach down grabbing him firmly.
“Commando,” I mutter. “I like it.”
“Don’t sweetheart,” he groans, pulling my hand off himself. “I’m so ready I could come on a breath of air. I need to be inside you.”
“Yes, now,” I moan and arch as he thrusts two fingers inside me groaning at the wetness he finds there. He grunts a laugh.
“I can’t wait. I’m sorry baby, I’ve got to. All that on stage has got me so turned on I can’t even speak properly.”
“Do it,” I hiss, grabbing his head and pulling him towards me. I’m dimly aware of cleaning supplies falling around us with muffled thuds and crashes, and at first the banging on the door seems like just more
background noise, but then Sid stills and mutters a heartfelt groan of ‘fuck off no’ and I heartily agree when I hear Mick shout.
“Sid are you in the cupboard mate?”
Sid looks at me despairingly and I grimace, loosening my legs reluctantly from around his narrow hips as he lowers me gently to the floor. I’m unsure how to deal with this now that the moment is passing and everything seems a bit like a sordid cliché. A rock star fucking in a cupboard – who’d have thought it. I’m drawn back by him tapping my face. “Don’t look like that,” he says pleadingly. “This isn’t done. We’re not done, you know that.” I stare at him. Does he mean that he wants to go somewhere with this? The banging increases in volume until we can’t ignore it.
“Sid are you in the cupboard?”
“Fuck off!” Sid shouts, suddenly losing his temper. Tucking himself back into his jeans with a contorted expression he pulls his t-shirt down over his erection. “I’ll go first,” he says in a low voice. “Stay in here until I can get Mick away and then come out.” I feel my heart sink – he’s already trying to cover this up. I feel sick at this. I know I’m nothing special but I don’t think I’m exactly road kill. He must catch something in my face because he groans. “Don’t look like that Nell. Listen I’ve got to go because he’s never going to give up. He’s like a fucking Rottweiler, but this isn’t over. I’ll find you later.”
“Okay,” I say in a small voice and he hesitates, but Mick rattles the door again and he sighs. Pulling me gently to one side he positions me behind the door, and after one long, enigmatic look at me he opens the lock and swings it open.
“What?” he snaps and I hear Mick snort.
“What the fuck are you doing in there mate? It’s a cleaning cupboard. Don’t you have rock star dressing rooms to fuck in like proper guitarists do?”
“Fuck off,” grunts Sid.
“No, really who’s in there?” asks Mick and I tense as his footsteps come closer. Then there’s the sound of a muffled struggle and then Mick’s voice. “Ouch! Fuck! Okay Sidney, what’s ruffled your panties? Okay, okay I’ll go. Don’t fucking hit me again.” I listen to the sound of their footsteps fading down the corridor and dimly hear Mick pontificating. “A cupboard for fuck’s sake, it’s like an adult version of ‘The Borrowers’,” and then I sag against the wall and wait for the obligatory five minutes before I can leave.
