The Fifth Gospel

by Grubb, Michelle

  “I know it’s not good enough, but it’s been a fortnight like no other. Either my brief is to babysit her, or sell her books. I’ll need a lot more manpower if I’m going to run her life, too.” She danced precariously close to the edge of Dee’s patience and she knew it.

  Dee’s eyes flashed anger before they softened. She nodded toward the chair, and Anna sat. “I need you to clear your calendar for the next three weeks.”

  Anna didn’t like the sound of this. “Why?”

  “This thing with Felicity is big. I know we’ve sold some brilliant, top-selling books in the past, but this is on another level altogether.”

  Anna nodded. Being part of the team that published Holy Father, Holy Secret was a privilege and a thrill, and yet because of its content, it was the work she was least proud of.

  “I want you to accompany Felicity on the publicity tour—”

  Anna shot to her feet. “Not a bloody chance in hell!”

  Dee remained composed. “That’s rich coming from you, Anna. But I’ve made up my mind.”

  “Well, unmake it.”

  “I beg your pardon?”

  “You heard me, unmake it!”

  “Anna, you’re treading on some very thin ice here, my dear.”

  “I don’t care if I’m wading in iced bloody water. I’m not going on tour with this book!”

  “Sit down!” Dee’s voice reverberated through the entire office.

  Anna disobeyed her. “I gave you exactly what you wanted. Absolutely everything has progressed as planned. The campaign, if I do say so myself, is outstanding, and this book and Felicity are being marketed and sold to the world with such precision, even I’m in awe. But all I’ve done is my job, exactly what I’m paid for. I don’t like the book. It’s utter rubbish. I certainly wish it wasn’t Griffin publishing it, but most of all, I certainly do not want to babysit Felicity Bastone around Europe while her book and her inevitable supporters, all with very little understanding of the Catholic Church, indiscriminately tear it down.”

  Anna knew what she was saying was hardly fair to Flic, but there was something dangerous about traveling and spending time with her. Not dangerous in the physical sense, but just dangerous. She couldn’t put her finger on it. She just knew she shouldn’t go with her.

  *

  Ethan had sent Flic through to Dee’s office, and she was poised to knock when Anna’s tirade roared through the door. Bitter disappointment filled her. She thought they’d been getting along so well, but now she realized it was all part of Anna’s professional act.

  Flic wanted to run, get out of Griffin’s bloody offices, just for one day, and do something normal for a change, something less stressful and something less complicated, but then she remembered the reporters out the front and it all became too difficult to even contemplate.

  Half expecting an equally venomous retort from Dee, Flic listened intently, but she heard nothing. She retreated to the foyer and informed Ethan that she’d heard voices and that Dee must already be with someone. Ethan phoned through and confirmed Anna was with Dee and that Flic was to join them. At least walking back and forth to Dee’s office was wasting time and delaying the inevitable.

  She was beginning to feel like Griffin’s was a prison. Spending the best part of two weeks practically living in the office was not the adventure she had tricked herself into believing it could have been. Escaping to Europe was looking like a better option every minute. There was no way Anna would be going with her after that outburst, and maybe that was for the better.

  She tentatively knocked on Dee’s door. Entering, she felt the air heavy with hostility. Anna was bright red, her eyes bloodshot, and Dee, although smiling encouragingly toward Flic, appeared as if she needed a cigarette and a stiff drink.

  “About last night—” Dee began.

  Flic held up her hand. “The Safire is lovely. I’m just as responsible for not thinking about it as anyone here at Griffin’s.”

  “Nevertheless,” continued Dee. “I’ve spoken to the manager. He understands that discretion is paramount, and until you leave for Ireland, you’re to stay there.”

  Flic nodded. She’d guessed as much.

  “And I’ve got some good news for you.” Dee brightened and moved to the coffee machine, selecting three cups and pressing numerous buttons to produce hot, smooth lattes. “Anna will be accompanying you on tour.”

  Flic stared at them both. Anna refused to meet her gaze.

  “Is that necessary?”

  Dee sipped her coffee. “We need to milk this for all it’s worth. The window of opportunity is not indefinite. The Vatican will make an announcement sooner rather than later. We have to assume it will be sooner.”

  “Announcement or not, what impact will Anna have on that?” Flic pushed her luck. “I can’t see the relationship between the two issues.”

  “I want Anna to go with you. It’s as simple as that.” Dee smiled, but her voice remained firm.

  “But you’ve delayed my press conferences today. What’s to suggest the church won’t make an announcement over the weekend?” We may have blown it altogether.”

  Dee nodded and glanced momentarily at Anna. “Yes, we may have, and that was my call. But we’ve created as much hype as we were ever going to at this stage of the process. From Tuesday evening, we will be full steam ahead. Do you agree, Anna?”

  Anna nodded and sighed. “The gamble will be worth it if there’s no Vatican announcement this weekend. If there is, we’ve lost a bit of ground, but then no story will be as big as the pope being gay. If there’s a denial from the Vatican, we have a strategy in place to make that work for us. Dee’s call to cancel the press conferences was a good one. I believe it will work in our favor.”

  “I get the feeling you’re sending Anna to babysit me.” Flic used Anna’s words, and it triggered a reaction.

  Anna found something interesting to stare at on the floor.

  “I need someone on the ground, someone I can rely on and someone with enough experience to ensure this runs smoothly.”

  Flic raised her eyebrows.

  “Our preparation has been so fast, we’re bound to have forgotten things. Last night is a prime example. I refuse to send you out with an inexperienced team and risk fucking this up.”

  It was the first time Flic had heard Dee swear, and it denoted the seriousness of the situation.

  There was little point in continuing to argue. The truth was Flic felt a sense of relief knowing that Anna was going to be there. She just wished Anna would afford her some credit for her opinion on a gay pope. They had had many conversations, albeit in a guarded manner, where they had both shared and listened to the other’s opinion. Well, Flic had reflected on Anna’s opinions; obviously, Anna had not afforded her the same courtesy. So while it was fabulous to have someone with the necessary knowledge and experience Anna clearly possessed, she would have preferred someone a little less judgmental.

  Flic eyed Anna squarely. “I realize this isn’t your favorite project, and I don’t really care what you think of me, my book, or my motive for writing it, but I respect your position and expect the same in return. If we both do what we’re getting paid to do while we’re away, I imagine it will work out just fine.”

  Dee attempted to interrupt.

  “If that’s all”—she eyed Dee—“I presume I’ll hear from you as required.” Turning to Anna, she added, “I’ll see you at the airport on Tuesday.”

  *

  Flic scanned the minibar, cursed at the exorbitant prices, and then proceeded to open the most expensive bottle of wine. “Drink?” she asked Laura who was in awe of her impressive hotel room.

  “Yes, please.” Laura’s eyes lit up. “This is a great hotel, Flic. Must be costing them an arm and a leg.” She found the light control panel and proceeded to switch on all the lights before making the entire space turn purple. “But then, even after only twenty-four hours, I should think you’d have earned them an arm and a leg too.”

>   Flic agreed, and the expensive wine rapidly tasted better. “Griffin’s have done an outstanding job. Books take time to market. They gain momentum, word spreads, and then after an indefinite period, you have a best seller. I take my hat off to them marketing this so well before it was even available and in such a short timeframe.”

  “You’ve got a little soft spot for Miss Anna Lawrence, haven’t you?” Laura teased her.

  Flic wasn’t entirely sure what was going on with Anna, but the small pang in her lower abdomen at even the suggestion she might have a soft spot for her was unnerving. “Well, apparently Dee thinks we’re a good team. She’s coming on tour with me.”

  Laura laughed. “So Dee sends her prize possession to keep an eye on you, eh? Doesn’t she trust you or something?”

  “Something like that.”

  “Pardon?”

  Flic had gone over Anna’s words a million times that day. She had honestly thought they’d reached an understanding regarding the contents of her book. She explained what she’d overheard to Laura.

  “That’s pretty full-on.”

  “Tell me about it.” Flic shook her head. “I feel like she lied to me, or used me in some way just to keep me sweet and sell the product.”

  “That’s just business, Flic. She was just doing her job.”

  “Yes, but I was genuine with her. I could have agreed with her, smiled sweetly, and then bitched about her behind her back, but I didn’t. I thought we were becoming friends.”

  “You want to be friends with Mother Bloody Teresa?”

  “Yes, well, no. I guess for the sake of the book I wanted it all to run smoothly.”

  Laura suppressed a grin. “It has run smoothly, Flic. One could argue her way of handling you was correct. For the sake of the book and all your media engagements, she’s achieved her goal.”

  “But that’s not the point. I was straight with her and she played me.”

  Laura stood and gestured for Flic to finish her wine before fetching a top up. “The point, my darling Felicity, is that you like her and you’re hurt and worried she might not feel the same about you.”

  Flic flounced to the bathroom. “That is complete rubbish. Don’t be so bloody ridiculous.”

  *

  “Don’t be so ridiculous!” Anna stormed to the kitchen to fetch something, but she couldn’t remember what. Her brain had been mush since Ethan mentioned Felicity Bastone had probably heard her argument with Dee.

  “If you meant what you said, why do you even care if she heard?” asked Seb.

  Anna returned with soy sauce.

  “What is that?”

  “Soy sauce. What does it look like?”

  “You’re putting that on spaghetti carbonara?”

  She scooped the sauce from the table and stormed back into the kitchen, this time returning empty-handed. “You’re enjoying this aren’t you? Can’t you see I’m in turmoil?”

  “It is okay to admit that liking someone scares you.”

  “I don’t like her like that!”

  “There was no implication to how you like her at all. I’m simply saying it’s okay to like someone, or be friends with someone,” he added quickly before she could protest again, “and not share the exact same views as them.”

  “Yes, but this isn’t just any view. It’s my entire life perspective.”

  “I’m not religious and we’re friends.”

  “Yes, but you haven’t written a book on the subject. You won’t be tearing down the Catholic Church with a book that will probably go down in history as one of the most famous of all time.”

  “Anna!” Seb rarely raised his voice.

  This moment obviously warranted her full attention.

  He continued. “The story is already written. The pope is probably actually gay. He just hasn’t come out and said it yet. Felicity Bastone didn’t make him gay, nor did she force him to act on his feelings, no more than she could force him to deny them. It’s not her book that will bring the church down; it’s the fact that the people won’t just accept it and move on. Homophobic people are the only ones making a big deal out of this, and you’re dangerously close to fitting squarely into that category.”

  “Don’t you dare call me that.”

  “Then stop behaving like it.”

  “I am not, Seb. I don’t have to like everything you like.”

  Seb lowered his voice to a whisper. “Then accept that the pope is gay.”

  “It’s not just that he’s gay. He’s not supposed to fall in love with anyone.”

  “So you’re seriously trying to tell me this is all about the pope having feelings for just someone? Woman or man?”

  Anna hesitated.

  “I thought so. The pope in a relationship with anyone is bad, I get that. But a gay pope is the ultimate hypocrisy, right?”

  Anna was close to tears. She rubbed her eyes. This reaction was so unlike her. “If his sexuality wouldn’t change my church, I’d accept it if he were gay.”

  “And Felicity?”

  “What about her?”

  “She’s gay, she’s written about the pope being gay, and it’s okay to like her, you know.”

  Anna fought to suppress the memory of when she’d pulled Flic through the reporters outside Griffin’s offices and held her hand watching as Dee managed the press. Frightening things were happening to her body and her brain every time she remembered the softness of Flic’s hand and her reluctance to withdraw immediately. She looked at Seb who in turn was looking at her knowingly. “This is confusing for me right now.”

  “You’re not asexual, Anna.”

  She gasped, not at the notion, but at hearing the word and her name in the same sentence. It had once occurred to her that she might be asexual. She’d researched the subject and on why others defined themselves that way, but she wasn’t convinced she really fit into the broad definition. She was embarrassed.

  Seb went to her and pulled her close, his stubble scratching near her temple. “I’m not trying to say things to hurt you, but I think there’s a reason why you’re single. You’re confused because your mind is constantly in conflict with your beliefs.”

  Anna slipped from Seb’s embrace and ran from the room. She couldn’t have this discussion. Now was not the time to even contemplate those demons, let alone try to deal with them. She needed time and space, and most probably from Flic more than anyone else, but spending at least the next three weeks with her was exactly the thing that was keeping her going. She just wished she hadn’t written that damn book.

  Seb could say all the stuff he liked, but there was no such thing as a true atheist. In her experience, an atheist wasn’t simply a non-believer; they also thought others shouldn’t believe, just like them. In addition, while it was true Anna struggled to understand why others didn’t seek fulfillment from the church like she did, she had never preached that her way was the only way. That kind of talk always came from those without faith. It seemed ironic to her. She had convinced herself it was only a matter of time before Flic attempted to persuade her that faith was a sham and that she was a fool. She’d experienced that enough as a child; there was no way she was putting herself through that again.

  Chapter Nine

  The weekend had been long, the Vatican had remained silent, and the Holy Father, Holy Secret campaign had lost little, if any, momentum.

  Flic celebrated her book release with Laura over a long lunch.

  “I guess you’ll be spending enough time with Anna in the coming weeks to not really miss her now?”

  “Why would I miss her now?”

  “Well, everyone’s so busy at Griffin’s you’ve just got me for lunch.”

  Celebrating with Laura was exactly what Flic needed. She’d been so consumed with the book in the past two weeks, her life had become distorted and insular. Before she embarked on her book tour, a long, expensive lunch courtesy of Griffin’s was exactly what she needed.

  “It’s out there now.” Flic shrugged. “
It feels so weird I can’t even begin to describe it. But lunch without my newly appointed shadow or my boss is perfect because I’m sharing this occasion with you.”

  Laura held her glass aloft. “To my amazing and talented friend.”

  Flic mirrored Laura’s image and raised her glass. “To friendship and a successful book tour.”

  “And to yet another ‘straight girl’ conquest.”

  “Do you want to wear that expensive champagne?” Flic had bed one straight girl in her time and subsequently fell in love with her. She had been seventeen, young, and stupid, and Laura still found the whole episode highly amusing. From that day forward, Flic had stayed away from straight girls.

  “Actually, do you really think Anna’s straight?”

  “I’m not bedding Anna or any other straight girl for that matter,” said Flic.

  “But you want to.”

  “In case you haven’t listened to a word I’ve said lately, I think she might actually hate my guts.”

  “That’s just your guts; you have many other redeeming features to woo her with.”

  Flic ignored Laura and beckoned the waiter to fetch another bottle of champagne. The truth was Flic felt conflicted. She wanted Anna on tour with her, but she also didn’t want her there because she’d protested so fervently.

  The maître d’ approached the table looking sheepish. “I can’t help but notice that your lunch is courtesy of Griffin Publishers.”

  Flic nodded. Dee had said she’d arranged it all and they were to treat themselves.

  “If you don’t mind me asking, are you Felicity Bastone, the author of that new book?”

  Flic nodded.

  The maître d’ produced a shabby piece of paper. “Can I have your autograph, please?”

  Laura whistled and Flic knew the grin on her face must have looked ridiculous. “Of course.” She paused briefly, wishing she’d thought about her signature and tag line before now. She scribbled, “Don’t stop believing. Felicity.”

  “Oh, hang on,” said the maître d’. “I’m not Catholic or anything.”