Loving Me, Trusting You

by C. M. Stunich

  “What's your problem?” I growl at them, wondering where Gaine's gone. I can still feel him wrapped around me, moving inside of me. Goose bumps break out across my skin as I glare at the three of them. “Why the fuck are you sneaking into my room in the middle of the damn night?” I grab the clock and spin it to face me. It's three in the Goddamn morning.

  “We did knock. You must've been out like a light,” Austin says, putting his hands on his hips.

  “And?” I ask, stifling a yawn and surreptitiously stretching out a hand towards the spot where Gaine was sleeping. The sheets are cold. “What do you want? I have to say, breaking into my room this late at night is a little weird, even for you.” The three of them exchange glances.

  “Mireya,” Austin begins and then pauses. “Is Gaine here? We've got something we want to say to you, but I'd sure like it if he were around.” I squeeze my fingers against the sheets.

  “You haven't seen him?” I ask, and Austin shakes his head. I glance over at the bathroom door, but it's wide open. There's nobody in there. A cold feeling begins in the base of my spine and starts to work its way up. “Maybe he's at the bar?” I ask then, thinking that it wouldn't be surprising if he'd gone for a drink. I know this isn't easy on him. I know … that he loves me. I get it. I did. I just can't reciprocate it right now. It isn't good for any of us. I think of Crystal and wonder if she's still alive. Either way, if my enemies are willing to take their anger out on a complete stranger, someone barely related to me, how will they be if they get their hands on someone else, someone like Kimmi? The fiery lesbian would not do well being ground to dust under their boots, forced under their bodies. I can't let that happen.

  “Just came from there,” Beck says with a grin. “Didn't see him.”

  I look around and spot Gaine's suitcase. It's still there, where he left it, but the boots he kicked off by the dresser are gone. My heart starts to race and my pulse quickens. No, he wouldn't. Would he? I start to get a suspicious niggling in my gut, one that makes me white hot with fear.

  I throw the covers off and ignore the fact that my ass is hanging out. I move to the window and check the parking lot. Fucking Christ. My eyes dart around, trying to make sure I haven't missed it, but no, Gaine's Tiger is gone. He's gone.

  “Holy shit,” I growl, my knees going weak. I grab onto the windowsill for support and lower myself slowly to the floor. “This can't be happening.” The pieces start to click into place.

  “What's going on?” Austin asks, moving over to me and helping me up. His brown eyes bore into mine, completely serious now. “Talk to me.” I shake my head and push away from him, stumbling back into the nightstand.

  “I've got to go,” I whisper, turning to my bag and digging out the first outfit I can find. I slip Gaine's shirt off and Beck whistles appreciatively. I ignore them all.

  “Goddamn it, Mireya,” Austin says, moving closer to me, not at all bothered by my nakedness. “You're a part of this fuckin' group whether you like it or not. You're not going anywhere. Doesn't matter if their grudge is with you or not. Fuck with one of us and you fuck with all of us.”

  I slip my shirt on and toss him the meanest glare I know. Okay, his words are sort of nice to hear. But it doesn't matter. I can't even think about that right now, can't think about anything except Gaine. Because I know where he is, and where he's gone.

  “I'm talking about Gaine, you idiot,” I snap at him, dragging my pants on and buttoning them quick as I can. “He's gone. He left.”

  “Left?” Kimmi asks, and then something clicks. Her eyes go wide and she moves to the window to look. “He left,” she says, shaking her head and spinning around quickly. “He's going after them alone, isn't he?”

  “What the fuck do you think?” I scream at her, sitting on the edge of the bed hard and slipping on my boots. This is all my fault, the reason I wanted to leave. Tears prick my eyes, but I push them back. I can't lose it now. If we hurry, there's still a chance we could catch up with him. If he gets there before we go, he's toast. I can kiss Gaine Kelley's strong arms and gentle smile goodbye. If that happens, if he dies, I don't know if I'll be able to take it. If I lose him … I stand up and grab my keys, sticking my tire iron into the back of my pants.

  “Where do you think he went?” Kimmi asks, adjusting her red leather corset and biting at her lower lip. “We've been riding for hours. They might not be anywhere near us right now.”

  “Gimme just a sec,” Beck says, pulling out his cell phone and playing with the screen for a moment. I have no fucking clue what he's doing, but I wait. When it comes to this sort of thing, Beck actually has his uses. Based on some of his tattoos, I've got a weird suspicion that maybe he's ex-military or something, but I've never been able to prove it, and I've never asked. “I installed one of them GPS things on his phone,” he says, playing dumb when I know he knows exactly what he's talking about. After a moment, his stupid half smile turns into a frown, and my heart stops.

  “What?” I yell at him, getting up close and staring him down. Beck looks at the screen and then up at me. “Is he far ahead of us?”

  “Not too far,” Beck says, tucking his phone into his back pocket.

  “Then what's the problem?” My asshole friend, the one with the terrible sense of humor, who's dumb as a Goddamn doornail, looks at me with a grave expression.

  “Well, from what I can tell,” he says, glancing back at Austin and Kimmi. “He isn't moving, so … either he's stopped for gas or he doesn't have his phone on him anymore.” There's an unspoken or in that sentence, something that tells me Beck doesn't believe either of those things. I finish his sentence for him.

  “Or,” I say, taking a deep breath and squeezing my fists at my sides. “They've already got him.”

  I expect to ride through the night before I come even close to encountering Bested by Crows, but it doesn't happen like that. I ignore Kimmi's instructions and end up on the interstate, going as fast as I can, pushing my Tiger to her limits while I apologize under my breath. I'm not just chasing demons here, I'm running from Mireya. If she catches up to me while I'm out here, I won't be able to go through with it. I have to hurry before she wakes up and comes after me because I know she will.

  About an hour outside of town, I hear them coming.

  Even though I don't expect to see them yet, I'm ready, pulling over to the side of the highway and hiding my bike in some bushes. I crouch down and wait, watching as they come around the corner, colors flying, bikes shining under the orange streetlights. My plan is to follow behind them and take them out when they least expect it. I don't think I'm going to get them all, but if I can grab Will, Mack, and the other faces I recognize from the roadblock, I think it'll be okay. I'm hoping that they'll split up again, let their guard down and park their rides at some point.

  What I don't expect, don't even friggin' consider, is that they already know I'm coming. Somebody saw me leave and they passed on the word, just like they've been doing all along. I don't know who it is at the moment, but as soon as I hear the crunch of boots behind me, I know it's true.

  I turn but not quick enough, pulling my gun out and aiming it at the nearest body. I manage to fire off a single shot into one of the leather clad chests before I'm being grabbed and shoved to my knees. Boots slam down on my back, into my head, smash the bones in my legs. It happens so quick that I don't have time to shout, to struggle, to defend myself. Before I can even roll over and put up a fight, something hard smashes into my skull and renders me unconscious.

  Austin pulls together a large group of people to take with us while I pace outside next to my bike and let my mind run wild. I can't even believe this is happening. I can't even fucking believe that Gaine would do something like this. Really, Mireya? You're surprised that someone loves you enough to try to protect you, to risk his life to save yours? Did I want to leave Triple M? Fuck no. I would've been miserable, I'll admit it, but I was willing to do it to keep them safe. And now, if we don't catch up to Gaine before it's to
o late, he might not make it at all. If Bested by Crows gets ahold of him, the only hope we'll have is that they'll hold him as a hostage in the hopes of getting me instead.

  I throw up one of my grandmother's favorite prayers, hoping that in some way, she'll be here with me tonight. I could use a bit of her strength.

  “Dios te salve, Maria. Llena eres de gracia: El Señor es contigo.” I swallow hard and fight back the pain in my heart. It's not too late yet. I could be grieving for no reason. Hell, Gaine might be stopped at a late night diner nursing a cup of coffee and regretting his stupid ass decision. I keep praying. “Bendita tú eres entre todas las mujeres. Y bendito es el fruto de tu vientre: Jesús.” I close my eyes and listen to the sound of the doors opening behind me, the hurried footsteps across the pavement. “Santa María, Madre de Dios, ruega por nosotros pecadores, ahora y en la hora de nuestra muerte.”

  “A-fucking-men,” Austin finishes for me, drawing my gaze around to his stoic face. He holds out his hand and gives me a pistol. I have no fucking clue what kind it is, but it's heavy and full of bullets, so it's good enough for me.

  “Amén,” I whisper as I press it to my lips and then stuff it in the back of my pants. Hopefully I won't shoot myself in the ass before we get there. I look around at Beck, Kimmi, at the rest of the familiar faces, people I've known for years and said few, if any, nice things to. I wonder if they all hate me, if I'm the most unlikeable person in this group. Not to Gaine you're not. I ignore that annoying inner voice, the one that's decided to spring up at the worst possible moment, to try to remind me of all the wonderful things he's done, how amazing he's been. It's sort of the last thing I need right now. “Thanks,” I say because that's all I can get out, the only positive thing I can think to say right now. If Gaine survives this, if I survive this, I promise that I'll try to be different, that I'll let people in. I have to. I've been saying I want to move on all this time, thinking that vengeance and blood would get me there. In reality, I had the ingredients I needed all along. I suck in a deep breath. “Now let's get the fuck out of here.”

  I turn around and straddle my bike, squeezing it between my thighs and letting the heat of the metal warm me up from within. Right now, deep down, my core has turned to ice, and I know that if I find out anything's happen to Gaine, it'll stay frozen solid.

  These motherfuckers do not want to see this ice queen in action. If anything can make them retract their outdated thoughts on women, it would be getting their dicks shot off. Don't you think?

  I have got to be the worst damn hero there ever was. What kind of man am I that I can't protect the woman I love? How pathetic must I be? These are the first thoughts that cross my mind when I wake up, lying on a cement floor in a darkened building. There's movement all around me, but I can't see shit. My eyes are blurry and my head is spinning, throbbing and sticky in the back. Not a good sign. Jesus Christ, I'm about as useless as a screen door on a submarine.

  Did I take any of them down? And if so, did I grab one of my targets? I sure as shit hope so. My sacrifice better be worth it, or I'm going to go to the grave a fool and an idiot. I close my eyes and bring up the memory of Mireya's hot body in my arms, my cock in her sweet pussy. For a minute there, she was mine, and I know I can die happy if she gets away from all of this bullshit. Thing is, I know I haven't done enough damage to change anything.

  Yet.

  She's going to come after me now, I know it. I have to make this count before it's too late.

  “Fuck,” I growl as I open my eyes again, struggling to keep the room from spinning as I focus on boots and bikes and low voices. As soon as they know I'm awake, they'll probably break my hands. Maybe smash my kneecaps in. The next few hours of my life are going to be torture. There are no ifs, ands or buts about that.

  I just need to see how much damage I can do beforehand.

  I push against the bindings on my wrists and ankles, testing them for strength. Whoever tied me up did a damn good job of it, and whoever knocked me out should win a fuckin' award. I can barely see, and I'm nursing the worst headache I've ever had in my life. But I have to keep going. After all, what would Mireya think if she found out my rescue mission ended before it had ever gotten started? And the teasing I'd endure from Beck? Hah. He'd dance on my damn grave.

  I move my gaze around the room, ignoring the ache in my skull, while I try to get a head count. At the same time, I touch my pockets and see if they've left anything in them. Unfortunately, the only item I feel is the rusted wedding ring. My heart skips a beat as boots approach my face. High-heeled boots. The fuck? I think about closing my eyes, pretending I'm still out, but I don't know how much good that'll do me. Best I get this show on the road and see what sort of Indian Jones type magic I can muster up. You know the kind I'm talking about, like taking out ten armed men with a single whip. That's what I need right now. That or some duct tape and a Swiss army knife, so I could MacGyver my way out of this shit.

  “Gaine?” the voice above me sounds surprised, but not apologetic. And familiar. Way too fucking familiar. “I have to say, I'm a bit surprised to see you out here by yourself, but I can't say I'm going to be complaining much.” My heart skips a few beats and my skin breaks out into a sweat. Ah, shit. Anybody but her. Please Jesus. When Melissa Diamond bends down and throws me a sultry smile, I almost piss my damn pants.

  I gun my engine and haul ass down that highway, but it still feels like I'm crawling, skipping along the pavement at a merry pace.

  “Fuck! Can't we go any friggin' faster?” I snarl into the intercom, desperate to reach the spot on the GPS where Gaine's phone is still sitting. An hour later, and it hasn't moved. I'm starting to flip shit.

  “Goin' as fast we can, sugar. Hold tight, alright?” I want to speed ahead of the group, but I know I'm going to need them. To get Gaine out, if he's where I think he is, we're going to need every last body. And we're going to end up back at the hotel with a few less. This is what I was trying to avoid and now, here it is. There's nothing I can do about it. Gaine, you fucking idiot, I think. How on earth did you ever think this was going to work out? Are you blinded by love? Is it making you as crazy as it's making me?

  I swerve violently and almost crash into the median.

  “You alright there, lady cakes?” Beck asks as I regain control of my bike and move back into the group. I open my mouth to respond, but I can't speak. My tongue is twisted and I feel sick inside. I don't want to love him. But I do.

  “Why is this just hitting me now?” I scream into the mic. I'm sure I'm scaring the shit out of the rest of the group, but I can't hold it back. Gaine. I'm in love with Gaine. I say it aloud. “I'm in love with Gaine.”

  Cheers ring out across the group, whoops and hollers that surprise the ever living crap out of me.

  “Thank God,” Beck whistles, popping a fucking wheelie on his motorcycle like the stupid asshole he is. “You finally figured it out. Amen and praise Jesus. I've been watching you two sons o' bitches for years. This has been a long time comin'. Congratulations, darling.”

  “Fuck you, Beck,” I snarl back at him, but inside, that bit of cold warms. Let's just hope I'm not too late to see it unthaw completely.

  Melissa Diamond looks me in the face with a wicked expression, reaching out to brush my hair across my forehead. I don't know why she's here or what the fuck is going on, but at least I know who the rat is. Like husband, like wife, I guess. It shouldn't surprise me, but it does. I saw her face when it all went down, saw her spirit spiraling down in the days after. This isn't something that was cooking up alongside Kent; this is something new. I don't know when or how this got started, but Melissa is most certainly the one feeding Bested information. Goddamn it.

  Maybe if Austin and Kimmi had talked to her before, we might've seen this coming? I thought she could help the group out; I never expected her to hurt it.

  Her sultry smile turns sad as she leans in and rolls me onto my back, running her fingers down my chest. Her blonde hair brushes my face as s
he moves forward to whisper in my ear.

  “I always wanted to fuck you, Gaine. You know that.” I don't have any friggin' clue what I should say to her, so I keep quiet. This is an unexpected twist, that's for damn fucking sure. She goin' to rape me or something? God, I hope not. “But you always turned me down. I respect you for that. You have a good heart.” Melissa bends down and grabs my hair with one hand, pulling my head back and kissing me while shouts and catcalls ring out around us. None of them are worth the breath to repeat. I squeeze my lips tight against her tongue, work so damn hard at fighting her that it takes me a second to realize what she's doing with her hand. A metal blade slides underneath my back and nicks my wrist, drawing blood even as it cuts my ropes. What the fuck?

  When she pulls back, she touches her other hand to my cheek.

  “But you're too late. I've got this one taken care of, sweetheart. Live to fight another day, okay?” Melissa rises to her feet and stretches her arms above her head. From behind her, Will fucking piss ass Walker appears and slides his arm around her waist, pulling her close and smiling at me as he does it.

  “Good evening, Mr. Kelley. So nice of you to drop in and pay us a little visit.” I look up at the man and all I see is red. I don't see a face or eyes or lips, just a shadow of a person, a wisp so inconsequential it can be shattered with a simple beam of light. “I can't imagine you expected things to go this way, but then, you shouldn't be so neglectful of your old ladies. Give 'em an inch and they take a mile.” Melissa smiles at me and puts a hand on her hip, sliding it back slowly, watching my face the entire time. When she dips her fingers into her pants, I'm clueless. All I'm thinking about is how I can use the knife she gave me to get Will Walker. It seems like my best hope for some sort of ending to this crap.

  I lunge forward, using my stomach muscles to pull my body to my knees and reach out with the knife the same moment that Melissa pulls a gun, her twisted lips gleeful and her blue eyes shimmering with tears. When she fires off an entire chamber into the crowd, bodies fall and blood stains the walls behind them.