Eternal Choice: (The Cursed Series, Book 2)

by Kara Leigh Miller

  “You did it the other night,” I said softly. “When I cut my finger.”

  “That was different.” His tone was clipped now, and I expected him to completely shut down this topic.

  “How?”

  “Well, for starters, it was a very small cut and not a lot of blood. It’s different when we drink straight from the vein.” He took a deep breath, and his chest heaved. His body became harder, more tense behind me.

  My heart rate skyrocketed.

  “That type of pleasure drinking typically happens during sex,” he said.

  “Oh.” I was silent for a moment, letting his words sink in.

  Was everything with vampires about blood and sex? Considering the intense, all-consuming reaction I’d had, that made sense. It was easy to imagine him drinking from me during sex, the pleasure it must create. I shivered at the thought.

  “But it’s purely physical,” he said, his tone suddenly lighter. “A bite like that creates a high unlike any drug on the market. It’s easy for humans to crave it and become addicted. Lots of vampires count on that.”

  I swallowed hard. “Have you thought about biting me like that?”

  “Yes. More than I care to admit.” His voice was deep and husky, bordering on tortured.

  I wasn’t ready to have sex with him, or let him claim me, and I really wasn’t ready to let him change me, but I wanted to do something to show him how much I loved him. To show him I was committed to him.

  Sitting up just enough to shrug his jacket off, I leaned back and tilted my head, exposing my neck. “I trust you.”

  He was stone-still for far too long, and I waited, my pulse racing. Then, he trailed his finger down the column of my neck, and a second later, his lips followed. He kissed the crook of my neck, lingering.

  I closed my eyes and prepared myself for his bite.

  CHAPTER FORTY-THREE:

  Strength

  TRENT DRAGGED HIS LIPS UP MY neck and nipped at my ear. “If only I trusted myself as much as you do.”

  Disappointment landed hard in my gut. Not because he wouldn’t bite me—part of me was actually kind of relieved—but because he’d done it before, with other girls. So, why wouldn’t he do it with me?

  I sat forward, snatched his jacket, and once again draped it around my shoulders, deliberately pulling it closed around my neck.

  “You’re mad,” he said, his frown evident in his tone.

  “Not mad. Just… confused.” I fidgeted with the buttons on his jacket, thankful he couldn’t see my face, or the tears that were threatening to spill free. “Why did you do it with other people but not me?”

  He sighed. “I told you. That type of bite creates a very physical reaction. It doesn’t ever mean anything.”

  “So, it would mean nothing to you?”

  “That’s not what I said.” Frustration laced his words. “Why does this matter so much to you anyway?”

  I shrugged but remained silent. I wasn’t sure I had an answer other than I wanted to know what it felt like to be bitten. If I decided to change, he’d have to bite me, and I needed to know I could handle it. And, whether out of selfishness or pure jealousy, I needed to know I was just as special as whoever else he’d bitten like that.

  “Like I said. It never means anything, okay?” he said with an air of finality.

  But I wasn’t going to give up so easily.

  “See, that’s where you’re wrong.” I shifted so I was kneeling between his legs, facing him. “Every single time you touch me or kiss me, it means something, Trent. At least, it does to me.”

  He took my face into his hands and peered into my eyes. “It means something to me, too, Chloe, which is why I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to cheapen what we have by getting you high from my bite.”

  I disagreed, but I didn’t want our little disagreement to turn into a full blown fight. “Is that the only reason?” I asked.

  He tilted his head, studying me through narrowed eyes. “Months ago, you wouldn’t even ask me how a person became a vampire, and now you can’t stop asking me about feeding and biting. What’s going on?”

  “In case you forgot, I have a decision to make, and I’d like to have as much information as possible. Is that so terrible?” I asked.

  “No,” he said, frowning. “But I thought your mind was made up.”

  I shook my head. “It’s not.”

  And the more time I spent with Trent, the more I fell in love with him, the farther away my human dreams got, because I didn’t want any of it if I didn’t have Trent by my side.

  His head fell back against the chair, and he groaned. “You’re killing me, Chloe.”

  “I’m killing you?” I snorted. “That’s kinda hard to do when you’re technically already dead.”

  He let out a surprised laugh. “Every time you ask questions like this, it gives me hope that maybe you’ll want to change.” He moved his hands to rest on my waist, his hold firm, grounding me in the moment. “But I can’t let myself hope like that.”

  The last thing I wanted to do was give him false hope, but it’s not like I’d ever lied to him. He knew where I stood on this issue—well, he knew I was conflicted because not even I knew where I stood yet.

  “Okay, what do you want to know?” he asked.

  I glanced up at him, noticing for the first time just how… exhausted he looked. Not physically, but emotionally, and that was probably worse.

  “When you first changed, was it difficult to be around humans?” I asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Because you wanted to drink their blood?”

  “Yes.”

  I sucked in a sharp breath. I’d known that was going to be the answer, but hearing it didn’t make it any easier to stomach. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

  “But you can be around them now. How long did it take for you to get comfortable enough around them not to want to kill them?” I asked.

  “When I figure that out, I’ll let you know.” There wasn’t a trace of humor in his tone.

  My eyes widened.

  “The trick is to be well-fed before throwing yourself into a situation with a lot of humans. That makes it bearable, but it’s never easy or comfortable,” he said.

  I nodded.

  “But it’s not just the desire to drink their blood. The heightened senses make it difficult, too. We can hear everything. See everything. Smell everything. Feel everything. That’s overwhelming, especially when you’re brand new and don’t know how to handle it. They control you,” he said.

  He dragged his hands down to rest on my legs, and a shiver of delight wiggled up my spine. I loved when he touched me, no matter how small or innocent it was.

  “But when you do learn to control them”—he took my hand and pressed his palm to mine, our fingers perfectly aligned for a moment before he laced our fingers—“it’s one of the best parts of being a vampire. The sensations. The feelings.”

  He cupped the back of my neck with his free hand and brought my mouth to his, teasing my bottom lip before finally kissing me. “I wish you could feel what it’s like for me, Chloe,” he muttered against my lips, then kissed me again. Deeper. Slower.

  My heart thundered in my chest, my pulse pounded in my throat, and no amount of air could fill my lungs to replace the breath he was methodically stealing with every flick of his tongue.

  I knew what it felt like to kiss Trent as a human, and it was beyond words. I couldn’t begin to imagine how much better it was for him, or how he didn’t lose his mind with how overwhelming it must be. Would I ever be strong enough to handle that?

  Gasping, I reluctantly pulled away and met Trent’s gaze. His eyes were such a bright shade of crystal blue that it was impossible not to drown in their depths. I adjusted so I was once again settled between his legs, my back to his chest. He was quick to wrap his arms around me, and I welcomed his warmth.

  “The first time you fed, was it hard?” I asked.

  “No. It was actually ve
ry easy. Instinctual.” He kissed my temple, my cheek, and then my neck. “Right now, the thought of drinking blood grosses you out, but if you change, it won’t. You’ll want it. Crave it. And you’ll know exactly what to do.”

  I suppressed a shudder.

  “And I will be with you every step of the way, helping you,” he whispered against my ear. “I won’t ever leave you.”

  I closed my eyes and pressed tighter against him. I didn’t doubt the truth of his words, but I still wasn’t sold on the whole vampire lifestyle. He’d told me once that they feed on animals, but he hadn’t gone into detail, and I hadn’t pressed him for more answers.

  Could I do that, though? Could I really kill an innocent animal and drink its blood? The thought of doing that, of harming any animal in that way, had my chest tightening with grief.

  “Anything else you’d like to know?” A familiar lightness had returned to his voice.

  “Yeah.” I sat up, removed my shoes, then faced him again.

  Keeping my gaze on his, I slowly unbuttoned his shirt. He lay there, watching me, brow raised. My heart raced as I peeled open his shirt and trailed my fingers across his bare stomach, tracing the defined lines of his abs. There wasn’t a blemish or imperfection anywhere on him that I could see.

  “Are all vampires as physically perfect as you?” I asked.

  He laughed. “No one is as perfect as I am.”

  I rolled my eyes, though my smile couldn’t be contained.

  “Our blood has regenerative properties, so when a person changes, their appearance is enhanced,” he said. “To humans, we look flawless, but we’re not. Sean has a scar near his eye.”

  “Right.” I had forgotten about that, but that scar was what originally led me to realizing Sean wasn’t human. “Do you have any scars?”

  “No.” He pulled me down so I was on top of him.

  I was going to have a scar from my recent surgery that no amount of Vitamin E lotion would help. Would that disappear if I changed? If Sean still had a scar, I probably would, too. Not that I was going to change just to find out if my scar would go away. Either way, I needed to make a decision soon. I couldn’t keep living in limbo like this. Neither could Trent.

  “Do vampires get married?” I asked.

  Trent laughed again, the sound rumbling through his chest. “That’s an odd question.”

  “Well, do they?”

  “Why? Are you trying to ask me to marry you?” he teased.

  “No.” I huffed and pushed against his chest until I could see his face.

  Amusement danced in his blue eyes, and his lips were turned up in a faint smile.

  “I’m just curious what vampires do when they fall in love,” I said with a small shrug.

  “Some do, yes. But most just pair up, and among our kind, when a couple is paired, it’s known that both are off-limits to anyone else.”

  “Is that the same as claiming a soulmate?” I asked, tilting my head.

  “No. A lot of vampires never find their soulmates, so they tend to just pair up with someone they love.” He stroked my hair, his hand coursing down my back.

  I closed my eyes and shivered from his touch. He dragged his hand back up and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his, savoring the way he kissed me, languid and full of passion.

  No matter what I decided to do, I wanted to marry Trent. I wanted that small sense of normalcy in a world that was anything but normal.

  “Now, it’s my turn to ask you a question,” he said.

  Before I had time to process what he’d said, he had me sitting on the chair—alone—and he knelt in front of me. My heart stopped, and I couldn’t take a deep enough breath. He wasn’t going to propose, was he?

  I stared at him, mouth open. I probably looked like a certified moron, but I had no idea what he was about to do.

  “I swore to myself I wasn’t going to do this, that I wouldn’t ask you this no matter what happened. That I’d just be patient, not pressure you, and let you decide when you were ready, but I can’t do that.” He shook his head. “I’m going crazy.”

  I had no idea what to say. He wasn’t really making much sense.

  Trent took my hands in his, caressing my knuckles with his thumbs, and then he gazed up at me, his eyes full of fear. “I love you, Chloe, more than anything else in this world, and there is nothing that will ever change that.”

  “I love you, too,” I whispered.

  If only I could express how much, but words seemed meaningless when I wasn’t willing to back them up with my actions.

  He smiled faintly. “I keep almost losing you, and one day, that almost is going to become a certainty, and that terrifies me.”

  I swallowed back the urge to sob. It wasn’t fair he felt that way, or that I was the one making him feel that way.

  “I know what you want out of life, and I know I can’t give you everything, but I can try, if you’ll let me. If you want to go to college, let’s go to college. If you want to go without me, then go without me, and I’ll be here when you get back. I’ll take you everywhere in the world that you want to go. I’ll marry you and buy your dream house. In fact, I’ll buy you as many houses as you want.”

  I laughed.

  Trent reached up and wiped my tears, his hands lingering on my face. “I can’t give you children, but we can adopt. We can still be parents. Together.”

  I smiled despite my tears.

  He’d really thought about all of this, and that made me love him even more. If he was willing to do all of that for me, to try so hard, shouldn’t I be willing to do the same?

  “When I was little, every birthday, I’d blow out my candles and wish for a brother or sister,” I said, taking a deep breath. Odd how it turned out my father had given me the one thing I’d spent so long wishing for.

  “And every year, I’d never get one,” I continued. “Finally, my mom explained that birthday wishes shouldn’t be wasted on material things, that they should be used for things that have the power to change your life.”

  I stood, wrapped my arms around myself, and paced away, hoping I could say what I needed to say without sobbing incoherently.

  Trent rose to his feet but didn’t follow me, and for that, I was grateful because I knew I’d never get this out if he were too close.

  “She said I should wish for things like health and love and fearlessness. At ten, I thought she was crazy.” I laughed sadly. “But as I got older, I started to wish for those things. Last year, I wished that I’d find someone who loved me in a way my father never loved my mother. Or me. A love that was literally everything.” I turned to face Trent.

  He stood in the same spot, hands tucked into his pockets, shirt still unbuttoned. He looked so utterly defeated. My breath vanished at the sight of him, and I wanted nothing more than to throw myself into his arms.

  “And then I met you,” I whispered as I slowly approached him. “Do you know what I wished for this year?”

  He shook his head.

  “For strength.” I slipped my arms around him. He didn’t hesitate to return my embrace. “Strength to face whatever’s coming my way. Strength to do what needs to be done.”

  “Chloe.” Trent closed his eyes and rested his forehead to mine.

  I stood there with him, breathing in his scent, soaking in his warmth, tears slipping down my face. They’d become my constant companion lately.

  “I never dreamed I’d ever find my soulmate,” he whispered. “But I did, and I can’t lose you.” He lifted his head, wiped my tears, and pressed a tender kiss to my lips. “Spend an eternity with me.” His voice was low and sincere and dripping with painful desperation. “Let me give you the life you want. The life I want, too.”

  My eyes fluttered closed, but the tears came faster. “I wished for the strength to say yes to you,” I mumbled.

  “Any chance your wish came true?”

  “No.” My lips trembled, and I covered my face with my hands, so
bbing.

  Trent hugged me, his shoulders slumping. He suddenly tensed, and not because I’d told him I wouldn’t change for him. There was something else going on.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “The coven is here.”

  CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR:

  Out of Time

  “C’MON.” HE GATHERED HIS JACKET AND my shoes. “We can go through the woods and circle back around to the car.”

  I stood, frozen, unable to process what was happening.

  “Chloe.” He snapped his fingers in front of my face. “Let’s go.”

  I was officially out of time. What was I supposed to do?

  “We have to go. Now,” he urged.

  “Go where?” I put my shoes back on, my movements nervous and jerky. “I have to face them.”

  He was crazy if he thought we could outrun them or hide forever.

  “Are you insane?” he said incredulously. “If you go in there, they’ll take you. We have to get out of here.”

  “And what are they going to do to me?” I stood in the middle of the gazebo, arms crossed. “They need a Halstead vampire to change me, so I won’t be going alone.”

  Trent stopped cold, as if he hadn’t once bothered to consider that detail. But it was that small detail that kept me calm. Knowing I wouldn’t have to do this alone made it a lot less terrifying.

  “Just let me talk to them. Maybe we can work something out,” I said.

  My gut told me it wouldn’t be that easy, but neither was running and hiding. I moved for the steps, and Trent blocked me.

  “You’re not going alone,” he warned.

  “Fine, then go with me.” I ducked under his arm and rushed for the path.

  Trent barged into the cabin before I could, and I came to a sudden stop beside him. Sean, Jax, Whitney, and Wyatt stood in the living room with a group of three women—members of the Rose Coven. A thick current of fear hung in the air, and I rubbed my hands up my arms.

  Trent stepped in front of me and said, “You’re not welcome here.”