Shadow Heights

by E. N. Goeking

  We saw a sign for a park a couple miles ahead and decided to pull in. It was fairly small with no trails or walking paths but we didn’t go there to run around. There was no one else around when we drove in so we parked in the first spot we saw. There was an uncomfortable silence once he shut the engine off that was impossible to ignore. There was enough tension in the air to cut with a knife.

  “This is so weird. We never have this kind of distance,” I said with honesty.

  “Well, it’s probably my fault.”

  “Yes, it is.” He frowned and I laughed at his amusement. We both got out of the car and strolled over to a patch of grass lying under the shade of a tree. He sat down with his legs straight out in front of him and I plopped myself down next to his side. The jagged edges of his hair swooped down below his eyes and I reached over to move them away.

  “I like how you’re doing your hair now. Does Kelly?”

  “I really couldn’t tell you. I think so. My dad wants me to cut it, though. He doesn't think it's right for a man's hair to come below his ears.”

  “Greg, his generation's view on personal appearance is so passé. I think you should keep it the way it is. It looks really good.” I watched as he studied a nearby butterfly and I continued to fiddle nervously with the leaf in my hand. “I’ve been wondering...how did your date go with her?”

  “Pretty good.”

  I smiled, “Yeah? Have you seen her since?”

  “A few times. We’re not serious, just messing around. I think she’s really into me.”

  “That’s cool I guess.” I figured this was a good of a time as any to tell him about Jaden. I cleared my throat in preparation. “I’ve sort of met someone, too.” I turned away as his eyes departed from the ground, glaring at me with the hurt boiling inside of him.

  “Who is he?” he demanded with disapproval.

  “Just some guy I met in town. I’ve only talked to him a few times but we haven’t gone out or anything.” He seemed to relax a little with my words, though his jaw remained stiff.

  “I’d like to say I’m happy for you but I still wish the guy was me. What does he have that I don’t?” I avoided his eyes, afraid to face him while he was so upset.

  “Greg, that’s a little uncomfortable.” He grabbed my hand and held it up to his face.

  “You can’t avoid me forever,” he hassled further.

  “I’m not trying to avoid you.”

  “I can’t help the fact that I have these feelings for you.”

  I searched my mind for the right words to say. “I know. Let’s just wait and see what happens. I don’t want to change our relationship right now. We’re so good as friends.”

  He smiled. “You are the only friend I have that’s a girl. My falling in love with you was inevitable.” I laughed and fell into his side. A loud crack of thunder boomed in the sky overhead and within seconds, rain started pouring down upon us in buckets. He took my hand and we sprinted to the car. My clothes were soaked, my hair dripping wet and he was just the same. We laughed uncontrollably by the surprising moment but the sound of us was drowned out by the pounding patter of rain on the roof of the car.

  Through the curtain of my wet hair, I saw a sparkle of light in his brown eyes and knew that some idea had taken over his mind but before I could stop it from happening, he was pulling me across the seat into his arms. My face was inches from his and my laughter faded abruptly. He leaned his face forward and pressed his lips to mine. They pulsed against mine in rapid succession but I stopped him before it went any farther, trying to ignore the sensations he had stirred inside my chest. I shoved him away and leaned back in my seat.

  I stared out the window at the puddles of water forming on the windshield, hoping to drown out this new turn of events but the heaviness of our breathing kept me from forgetting. The awkward calm in the car made the sound of the storm seem a million miles away now.

  “I’m sorry,” he said with haste. “I shouldn’t have done that. I just couldn’t help it. It seemed like the perfect moment, you know, with the rain. I feel like I'm losing you Mina.”

  “It’s okay Greg. It felt good but...I can’t do this. Not right now. I’m not ready for this to happen.” I went to squeeze his hand but he pulled away from me before I could.

  “Okay. I understand.” His sadness now turned to anger as he started his car up and we headed back to town. We were silent the entire way back to my house and he barely looked over in my direction unless he was glancing over to watch traffic. I hated this. He was going to act like this all night and ruin what little time we had left together and I hated him for it. I hated myself for doing it but I had to. I couldn’t lead him on when my heart clearly wasn’t in it.

  I begged him to stay for dinner so he could say hello to my parents and after twenty minutes of pleading my case, he finally agreed. They had always liked him the most out of all of my friends. My dad was high school buddies with his dad and they still kept in contact as far as I knew. So, Greg put on a fake smile for me and pretended like nothing had happened.

  My mom whipped up a big batch of spaghetti and garlic bread for dinner. We sat around the table and told stories. The house felt so alive with him there and not empty like it had been since the move. The storm was still showing its fury outside and occasionally a tree branch would hit the window from the strong winds but nobody seemed to notice except for me. While they were enmeshed in the moment, my mind was distracted by other things.

  After we finished eating, Greg and I went outside to smoke an after-dinner cigarette before he left. We sat on the front steps, which were under barely enough cover to shelter us from the rain but it didn't seem to bother him so I bore the cool wet drops.

  “I don’t know when I can make it down again,” he finally spoke after hours of silence.

  “I could always come up there sometime. You don’t always have to be the one to come here.” My suggestion seemed to please him and he surrendered his anger for the time being. He wrapped his arm around my waist and kissed the top of my head.

  “I’m sorry about earlier.”

  “Don’t even worry about it. It’s already forgotten.”

  “I wish it was that easy for me.” He let go of my arms and stood up, allowing the sprinkle of water to splash his face. “I’ll probably take off. Good luck with whoever this guy is.”

  “Thanks, Greg...for understanding.” Even in the dark, I could see the anguish in his eyes.

  “Just don’t forget about me. If this guy doesn’t work out, I’ll still be waiting for you.”

  Chapter Eight

  After that night, things were never the same again between Greg and me. We had made our peace but the dissolving of our friendship was inescapable. Though it was impossible to keep our connection intact from so far away, part of me was still determined to keep him as a friend and I hoped he wasn’t secretly harboring resentment towards me.

  After spending multiple days at home by myself, I was starting to develop cabin fever. My body and my mind were screaming for me to get out. I decided to indulge in my favorite distraction—getting high. We all have our own self-medication tools and this was mine.

  I gathered my essential paraphernalia and when I reached into my velvet stash bag, my finger ran across something sharp. I pulled my hand out and saw a thin line of blood form on my index finger. I shook out the fragments of glass onto my desk and saw that my favorite bowl had shattered into a hundred pieces. How the hell did that happen? Now what am I going to do?

  I remembered there was a smoke shop in town and knew they must have something I could use. I changed out of my pajamas and into a black t-shirt and jeans.

  When I got downtown, it was booming. There was hardly a parking spot to be found. I went around the block twice before I found a spot and I was lucky enough to find one in front of the smoke shop when I returned. I approached Joe’s Smoke Shop and peered in through the tinted glass. Even though the town was busy, nobody was inside this particular store. Was
it even open? I looked around for a sign and it said they were open until seven that night. I took my sunglasses off and put them in my purse.

  As the door closed behind me, a beeping noise rang in back. A guy appeared from behind the beaded curtain of the employee lounge and I was surprised to see someone I sort of knew, although we had never been officially introduced. He looked a little amazed to see me as well. It was Jaden’s friend Ryan and this was where he worked. He was wearing a lime green shirt and jeans, his curly blonde hair slightly unkempt.

  “Hey,” he said as he leaned across the glass counter. His green eyes were dried out with redness, an obvious sign of a marijuana smoker.

  “Hi,” I answered while walking over to him.

  “What can I help you with?”

  “Can you show me some of your better glass pipes?”

  “No problem.” He walked behind the counter until he reached their location on the opposite side of the store and I followed. I scanned over the many shapes and colors that they came in. I was hoping to find one like the one that broke but was unsuccessful so far. I squatted down to look at the bottom shelf and soon saw one in the back that was fairly similar.

  “Can I see the one in the back with the purple and green?”

  “Yes you can.” He opened the case with his keys and set it on the counter. I picked it up and studied it for a minute, admiring the intricate coloring inside the blown glass.

  “You’re Mina Hunter, right?”

  I glanced up and replied, “Yes and you’re Ryan?”

  “True. Ryan Carlson to be exact. So, how do you like the Heights?”

  “Actually, it’s not bad. It’s a big change from city life but it’s beginning to grow on me.”

  He smiled. “Jay did say you had a different sort of dialogue about you. It’s interesting.”

  “Thanks, I guess.” I decided to get it. It was thirty dollars but I could afford that. I just had to make sure that I was extra careful with it. “I’ll take it.”

  “Awesome. Let me wrap it up for you.”

  “That won’t be necessary. I can just put it in my purse.” He laughed out loud and walked over to the register. He rang it up and asked if I needed any screens or other supplies. I took a pack of 10 screens and the total was $32.

  “You must have a really low sales tax,” I commented after he rang up my items.

  “Compared to some places. You got ID?” I reached my hand into my purse to pull it out and he waved his hand at me, winking back at me in the process. “I believe you.” I handed him the money and he gave me my change. Even though I didn’t want it wrapped, he still put my items in a small paper bag.

  “It’s better camouflage,” he commented. I laughed and grabbed the bag out of his hands. I turned to walk out and froze after taking only one step. I turned back around and rested my arms on the counter.

  “Can I ask you something?” He seemed amused and nodded back at me as he leaned into me. “Has Jaden mentioned anything else about me?” I searched his glassed-over eyes.

  “I don’t know. Like what?”

  “Nothing. It’s just...” I started to say but he interrupted thankfully.

  “He has mentioned you a few times.” He scratched the side of his face where a cluster of red bumps were from razor burn but he seemed to be making it worse by scratching it.

  “Do you think it would be possible for you to give me his number or perhaps tell me where to find him?” This might work out better than I thought. He was about to speak when the front door beeped. I didn’t bother looking back but he acknowledged the customer. A chill passed through my body that I assumed was from the wind.

  “How are you doing today buddy?” Ryan inquired.

  “I can’t complain,” a male answered. Ryan returned his attention to me. I was still waiting for him to answer my question and I gestured with my hand for him to get on with it.

  “What?” he asked. He was confused, a definite stoner. I just asked you less than a minute ago and you already forgot?

  “Can I have his number?”

  “Oh sure but maybe you should ask him yourself.”

  “I would but he is kind of hard to find despite this being a small town and all.”

  “Not that hard,” he said while pointing behind me. I looked behind my shoulder and was surprised to see Jaden standing in the same room as me. I felt my heart begin to flutter which gave me a weak-in-the-knees feeling. He looked as good as ever, his long crow-black hair flowing down his back, clothed in dark colors again. He was staring into one of the glass cases and hadn’t noticed me yet or so I thought. I flipped back around.

  “Thanks. It was nice meeting you.” He reached his hand out and I shook it. I took a deep breath and headed in Jaden’s direction, feeling confident in myself for the first time.

  “Good luck,” Ryan whispered behind me. Jaden was still looking into the display case, his face pressed firmly on the glass. I cleared my throat in hopes of getting his attention.

  He removed his face from the glass and stared up at me, wearing a grin as if he already knew it was me requesting his attention. The electric charge I always felt when he was around was now able to shoot its way across without physical contact. What is that? Can he feel it too?

  “How are you?” he asked.

  “I’m great. Thanks.” He was wearing a black t-shirt that papered his skin and army green cargo shorts. I could see a tattoo on his leg this time and it was tribal in design, all in black ink and for a second, it reminded me of the symbols on the attic door but before I could ask him about it, Ryan intruded. He walked up to us, scuffing his feet across the cement floor.

  “Hey, do you mind watching the store for a minute? I’m going to have a smoke.”

  “No problem. Take your time,” Jaden answered while continuing to stare into my eyes, not once looking over at his friend while he spoke. He proceeded to lean against the counter on his elbow while staring back at me but his full display of attention made me fretful.

  “Um,” I cleared my throat, “I was just asking Ryan for your number and then you appeared.”

  “Is that right?”

  “Yeah. You're a hard person to find, Mr. Laenzar.”

  “You just need to know where to look,” he sneered. His smile made me lose my train of thought and I was fleeting with distraction. His posture became more relaxed and he released his stare, chuckling softly after seeing my apprehension. “Was there something you needed to talk to me about?”

  “Not really. I just haven’t seen you around much lately and wanted to say hi and perhaps take you up on your offer.” I received no response from that so I continued. “In fact, I just bought a new present for myself in here and I could use your help breaking it in.”

  “We could do that.”

  “Really? Now perhaps?” I took a chance.

  “I would be up for that. Well...once Ryan gets back.”

  “Are you sure? You don’t have anything else you need to do right now?”

  “Yes, I do. I need to help break in your new pipe.” He turned his face and grinned. I laughed softly and started feeling overly-excitable like a school girl. Oh God, Mina. Quit acting like a fool.

  “Mi—na,” he whispered at a barely audible level. “It’s very nice to see those warm eyes of yours.” Like a coward, I shied away from his stare. “Have you ever smoked out of one of these?” He pointed to a large blue hookah on a nearby shelf.

  “No I haven’t. I don’t think my lungs could handle that monster.”

  “You should try it sometime. It’s a totally different experience,” he replied. We both turned to look when the door beeped and Ryan came strolling in, looking way to calm for a working man.

  “Thanks man. I was in desperate need of some nicotine.”

  “It’s not a problem. So, we’re going to take off but I’ll see you back at home later.”

  “Cool, want me to pick up some beer after work?”

  “Ah. That sounds rather nice. I could d
efinitely go for some of that.”

  “All right then. I’ll check in with you later.” He faced me and said, “Again, it was nice to meet you Mina.”

  “You too.” Jaden held his arm out as a gesture for us to leave. I walked in front of him and went outside. “Who’s driving?”

  He thought about it for a minute and then answered. “I think I will. Do you want to leave your car at home or my place?” His eyes blazed.

  “Your place?” He nodded. “I suppose that would be all right. Do you live close by?”

  “Yeah. Just a few blocks up from here.”

  “All right.” I didn’t protest because this way I would at least know where he lived. He pulled out first and I followed a close distance behind him.

  When we arrived at his place, he pulled in the driveway and I parked on the street in front of his house. It was a decent-sized house in a good neighborhood, a few blocks up from the high school. It reminded me of my old house in Cherry Ridge. It was a newer style home, colored in white but sparkling clean, two stories and a big garage.

  I grabbed my things and walked up the driveway to where he was standing.

  “I have to grab something from inside. Go ahead and sit inside.”

  “Okay.” I followed his orders and sat in the leather upholstered front seat. His car was neurotically clean inside, almost like brand new, and I felt nervous sitting in there. What if I dropped ashes on his fine upholstery or something worse?

  He joined me a short moment later and when he sat down next to me, his scent infiltrated my senses at such extreme levels that I felt slightly intoxicated. I couldn’t quite pinpoint what the smell was exactly but it was sweet in its base form. My heart was beating rapidly as the electricity between us shot around the car. Could he feel that or was it just me?