by S. Ferguson
The moment is strangely intimate, but I file that thought away for later.
Ron stomps across the floor. I hadn’t even noticed he and Tony exit his office, until he’s almost chest-to-chest with Alex. He is a good few inches shorter than Alex, but I swear the taller man cowers.
“What the fuck do you want?” Ron seethes, and I swear I can see smoke coming from his ears. Bigger and taller than him or not, Ron is not to be fucked with.
Alex hesitates and looks over Ron’s head towards Bree, or rather where Bree would be, if I weren’t standing in front of her.
His brow furrows when he sees I’m blocking her.
Get used to it, bitch.
“No, motherfucker. You look at me, you’re in my house.” Ron yells, clearly at the end of his patience, and Alex’s eyes immediately shift back to him.
“I came for the meeting, and I came to talk to Bree,” Alex says. His voice is steady, but his eyes show he isn’t nearly as calm as he wants us to think he is.
“Why, huh? You got some sort of fucking radar that lets you know she’s happy? Time to come back and fuck shit all up again?” Jake shouts.
God, I love my little brother.
Greg has let him go, but is standing close. Any other time, Jake’s typical smartass comment would have made me laugh, but I don’t have the capacity to laugh right now.
“Meeting? Why the fuck would you be here for the meeting?” Ron looks around the room as if someone else might have the answer for this question.
“Ah, Alex, you made it. This is my second, Ron. I apologize again for his tardiness,” Tony jumps in, giving Alex a welcoming look as he walks toward him, then the tense situation seems to register with him and he hesitates. Looking around the room, his gaze turns to one of scrutiny.
I’m trying to absorb what Tony just said. Alex is some sort of crime lord now? Working as Tony’s second-in-command?
What the fuck?
“Let me talk to him.” Bree’s soft voice comes from behind me, and I feel like my chest is going to explode.
“B Girl, no, there isn’t anything he has to say that’s worth listening to,” I plead, turning around so we’re face to face. I look down into her eyes, placing my hands on her hips, pouring every emotion I can into this look. Please don’t.
“It’s okay. I’m okay,” she whispers, grabbing my hand and giving it a squeeze.
All too soon, I feel the loss of her warmth as she lets go and moves around my body to where the tables are, before making her way towards Ron, Alex and Tony.
Alex immediately gets a smug look on his face. I want to see if he can still smirk when I slam his face into the nearest wall, preferably a brick one.
It disappears as someone makes an angry sound deep in his throat. It takes me a minute to realize that sound came from me.
I concentrate on attempting a Force choke. Come on, Star Wars… don’t fail your most loyal fan now.
“Darlin’, you don’t have to do this. You say the word and he’s gone,” Ron says “gone” in a way that makes me think he doesn’t just mean out of the bar.
For Ron to say something so aggressive in front of Tony, his men, and Alex himself, lets me know the meeting probably wasn’t going that well to begin with, and that Bree is far more important to Ron than even I suspected.
Ron’s voice is quiet and steady; the only reason I was able to even hear him is because I’ve unconsciously followed Bree’s path.
Alex’s eyes settle on me, and I can tell he’s really seeing me for the first time. He looks me up and down, sizing me up.
I do my best impression of an angry Rottweiler, and meet his gaze head on. I’m a few inches taller, and have probably ten pounds on him.
I also know this guy is a career criminal now, which means he can probably fight better than most. I can hold my own, however I try to avoid fights when I can, which is more than you would think.
None of this matters when it comes to Bree, though. I know I will fucking kill for her. Hell itself couldn’t stop me when it comes to her.
“Bree…baby. Fuck, I’m so sorry. I’ve missed you so much.” Alex is nothing but sugary sweetness and apologetic tone, directing all his attention to Bree.
I don’t miss the calculating gleam in his soulless, blue eyes, or the disbelieving snort that comes from our right.
Have I told you I love Jake lately?
“Look, can we just go talk somewhere privately?” Alex says, shooting an annoyed glance in the direction of Jake and Greg. I know from a few conversations with Jake that there is no love lost between them.
I see Ron whispering to Bree, and she whispers back. I can’t hear anything they’re saying clearly. I begin to walk even closer.
Everything is in slow motion, my legs moving sluggishly as I see Bree nod and take Alex’s hand. He turns, and begins leading her out of the bar.
“Bree!” I shout.
She turns and looks at me, her eyes full of tears. One slowly escapes and runs down her cheek.
“Please.” It’s barely more than a whisper, my voice cracking, but I know she hears me.
Just like that first night I followed her to her bench, she gives me a slight shake of her head, before turning back around.
She’s gone.
The only girl I’ve ever loved. Fuck, I should have told her.
She’s my reason for breathing, my soulmate. She just walked away with him.
It’s only when Jake drops down beside me that I realize I’ve fallen to my knees.
“She…she left.” I say to no one in particular, not caring that my voice cracked again.
“I know Dec, I know.” Jake wraps an arm around my shoulders, resting his forehead against my temple.
And I stay like that, kneeling on the scuffed floor of a bar, surrounded by killers and the shattered pieces of my heart.
22
Bree
Alex leads me out of the bar, away from a tense Ron and Jake. I don’t dare try to think about what Declan’s feeling or thinking right now. I know I’ll have to talk to him about this later, but I also know I need to do this.
It’s time to face my demons. Amanda taught me that. I owe her my life, and the time is now.
“Baby, I’ve missed you so much,” Alex coos, once we’re outside the large, scarred wooden doors of Keegan’s.
For a horrified moment, I think he’s going to try to kiss me but he must read my body language because he stops leaning towards me.
“God, you look so fucking hot. Have you been working out?” He’s acting like nothing has happened. Like he didn’t rip my heart out and stomp on the pieces a year ago. Like he didn’t just disappear and abandon me as if I was nothing.
Something in my mind snaps.
How dare he?! How fucking dare he act like nothing has happened?!
“You know what? NO, you don’t get to talk to me that way.” My outburst catches even me off guard. A year of pent up hurt and anger come rushing to the forefront of my mind. There is nothing I can do to stop this avalanche.
“Do you have any fucking idea what you did to me? How long I’ve spent blaming myself, hating myself, because of your shit? You left me because you were what, tired of trying to take advantage of me and the situation I was in? I was destroyed when you left Alex. Destroyed. And when I found you?” I take a fortifying breath.
“There aren’t even words to describe the pain I went through that day and every day after. But you know what, despite you, despite my mother, despite every fucked up thing that has happened to me in this life, and, believe me, it's a long list, I’m still here. I am still kicking. And I will be happy again. I deserve to be happy again, and it has nothing to do with anyone but me, because I’m the only person whose behavior I’m responsible for. And I’m the only one who I owe anything to. You, you’re just a chicken shit who keeps running from situation to situation, abandoning ship the minute things aren’t what you want them to be anymore. So, go fuck yourself. Seriously, go fuck yourself, and get
the fuck out of my face. I never want to see you again.” I stand back, proud of myself.
Never in my life have I gone off on someone like that. This is the first time I’ve ever stood up for myself. It feels better than anything else I’ve ever experienced. I resist the urge to wrap my arms around myself out of habit, but I know I don’t need to hide from him anymore.
Alex’s power over me is gone now.
Alex is clearly not expecting my tirade. His eyes are open so wide, it would be comical if the situation was better. Even I’m surprised by what I managed to say. I mentally give myself a pat on the back. A small part of me can picture Ron and Dec standing there with pride on their faces as well.
“I…I didn’t know,” Alex begins a lame attempt at making excuses.
“Bullshit,” I cut him off. “You knew. I ran away with you. We were homeless. We fought for a life together. Then, when things finally looked up, you left. You knew damn well if it hadn’t been for Ron when you abandoned me, I would have died. Hell, I almost died out on the streets when it was the two of us. I had no hope on my own. But you know what? It doesn’t even matter anymore. I’m glad I got to tell you all of this, but I’m done. I never want to see you again.” I manage to meet his gaze this time. His eyes look angry and confused.
I’m not that weak girl anymore. I’m not a victim anymore. He needs to realize it now, and let me move on with my life.
He makes a step towards me, and I immediately go into the protective stance Ze taught me: my feet a shoulder width apart, palms open facing him, my arms bent slightly at the elbow.
“Jesus. I’m not gonna hurt you.” Alex clenches his jaw.
He takes a second look at my stance, and I see his brain working. “You’ve been training?” He sounds almost incredulous, like I’m not capable of learning how to properly defend myself.
“I’ve been doing a lot of things. Some of them good, and some of them bad, but I’m doing what I can now to get Bree back. I lost her for a while, but now I’m realizing she’s not as bad as I thought, and she wasn’t as far gone as I thought. I’m healing. I’m…I’m learning to be happy. I am happy.” It's the first time I’ve said it out loud to anyone, and it feels amazing.
It feels like truth.
“I guess there really isn’t anything else I can say. I wanted you back. I can get you out of Ron’s pocket. I’m in good with New York. I’m Tony’s Second now. I can give us the life we talked about now.” His eyes lower, almost as if in defeat, as if he knows what I’m going to say before I get a chance to open my mouth.
“It’s too-little too-late now, Alex.” My voice is softer now. “I’m glad you’re doing okay. I really am, even if I still don't really understand everything that happened with us, or between us, but that’s okay. I made peace with not getting all the answers. Sometimes, life just doesn’t tell us everything, and sometimes that’s a mercy. I truly hope you have a really great life. I hope that everything works out for you. I just can’t be a part of that anymore.”
I close my eyes, and feel a tear trickle down my cheek. This is it. This is good-bye.
I’d been holding onto Alex, not really him, more the memory of him and what I had hoped he was, and from the pain that thought gave me for so long, I had convinced myself that it was actually a part of me.
Yet, as I feel another piece of my heart break off, this time I realize it really wasn’t a piece of me breaking off. No, it’s not pain I feel. It’s relief. It's setting down a heavy burden I had been carrying for years.
This is freedom.
Then, I hear the gunshots from inside the bar.
23
Declan
After Bree walks out the door with Alex, all hell breaks loose inside Keegan’s.
The monster inside of Ron seems to spring free, and suddenly, I see why he’s been so successful at the career he chose.
He lunges at Tony, grabbing him by the collar, and shaking him violently. Ron’s eyes are focused, and his nostrils flaring.
Someone is going to die today.
“What the fuck does he want with my daughter? I swear to God, if he hurts her, I will gut every single one of you motherfuckers!” Ron screams in Tony’s face, spit flying. It’s as if his anger becomes a living, breathing thing, it permeates the room.
WHAT THE FUCK?
“Why the fuck did you bring that asshole in here? Was he spying for you the whole time he was here working for me?” Ron continues to fire questions at Tony, shaking him with every word. I almost feel bad for Tony. Poor guy probably couldn’t answer if he wanted to, the way his head is bouncing around.
Before I can even wrap my head around that statement, Tony’s guys have leapt to their feet, weapons drawn…weapons they claimed they had left at their hotel. I swear to God everything in this life is nothing but bullshit.
Jake jumps up from beside me from where I’m still kneeling on the floor, like the little bitch that I am.
Jake draws his weapon from fucking somewhere on his body, and is aiming back at Tony’s guys in a matter of seconds. Greg and the others guys follow his lead. This place went from a bar to the OK Corral in 2.5 seconds.
This is about to be a bloodbath.
I know Ron and Jake’s guys have the numbers, but it’s unrealistic to expect that Tony’s guys won’t get a few shots off before they’re finished off.
Just when I think this situation can’t get any more fucked up, the door to the kitchen squeaks open.
“What the fuck?” a very confused Quinn asks, rubbing his face frantically and trying to take in the scene before him. His eyes are wide, and he’s breathing like he just ran a marathon instead of only walking a few feet.
No one but Ron, Tony and I bother looking back at him. The other guys know better than to take their eyes off of the weapons aimed at them.
“You said you weren’t going to take Ron out, man!” Quinn says, marching towards Ron and Tony. I see realization on Ron’s face before Quinn continues talking. “You said the info I gave you only proved it was too risky to go through with the takeover.” Quinn continues to rub his face and looks around the bar. “Where the fuck did Bree go? You said I could have her once you took Ron out.”
“Shut your fucking mouth. Shut the fuck up right now,” Tony growls, easing his way out of Ron’s grip on his collar. I’m assuming, in his shock, Ron loosened his hold.
“The fuck? You’ve been giving this asshole information?” Ron’s deadly focus is now aimed at Quinn. “I knew some fucker was feeding this asshole info. I just didn’t know who. He came into this meeting way too fucking prepared.”
Tony has the decency to look sheepish. Probably because he knows everything he’s working for is now in jeopardy, and Quinn’s outburst has sentenced himself to death. In this world, there is only one way out.
Quinn’s movements are so erratic. Even as he’s trying to stand still in front of Ron’s wrath, he really isn’t. He can’t keep from scratching on his arms and face. I’m amazed he hasn’t broken any skin yet.
I know now, for certain, he’s on something. My guess is meth. His arms move in jerky, frantic motions as he tries to explain his case to Ron, but I’m tuning him out. This has nothing to do with me.
Even if I wanted to help him, Ron’s reputation for dealing with traitors is legendary.
I’m still processing the fact that Ron called Bree his daughter, and the fact that Bree left with Alex.
My world is outside of this bar right now, and I refuse to die in it. I rise to my feet slowly. I see Jake look over his shoulder at me; he gives me an unhappy look that I’m not staying down behind him. I’ve always been his big brother, his protector. I’ve never hidden from a goddamn thing in my life and that’s not changing today.
Quick as lightening, Ron grabs the back of Quinn’s head and forces the barrel of his gun into his mouth.
I guess he was tired of trying to listen to Quinn explain. Quinn’s eyes are wide with terror. Despite my feelings about the guy, my gut clenches.
We all know he isn’t walking away from this.
“You betrayed me. Giving them info on me, on our crew? I knew something was up when you started using,” Ron spits out, even though there is no way Quinn can answer with a mouth full of gun. He must see something in Quinn’s eyes, though, so he answers an unspoken question.
“Yeah I knew you were using. Would have to be a fucking idiot to miss it, but I thought maybe you were just having a rough patch. I tried to give you a chance. That was a mistake on my part, a mistake I won’t make again.” He cocks his gun. “A mistake I plan to fix right fucking now.” He pushes it further in Quinn’s mouth, and I hear Quinn gag.
“You know what we do to traitors, Quinn.” Ron’s voice is icy calm. There is a second of eerie calm. Everything seems like an out of body experience, as I see Ron’s finger begin to squeeze the trigger.
“NOOO!” I hear Quinn’s muffled shout right before a bullet hits him in the back of his throat.
Before you can ask, no, that shit is nothing like the movies. There was fucking blood everywhere. So much splatter it looked like a Pollock painting.
The creepy way Quinn just kept standing there, swaying, a giant hole in the back of his head, for a few seconds after, made me think, “This must be what a zombie would look like in real life.”
That’s an image I know I won’t forget for a long time. I’ve only seen one other person die before, and that image still haunts me as well.
I take back my previous statement about all hell breaking loose. This moment, right here, is when all hell breaks loose.
Ron turns his gun on Tony, who dives behind his men. The five guys are outnumbered by at least two to one, but they start firing and backing their way to the door.
The majority of their shots are wild, mostly hitting the ceiling or the back of the bar. They’re trying to distract and keep Ron’s men hiding under cover, so they can escape.
“STOP!” Ron roars, somehow managing to raise his voice higher than the chaos.
Miraculously, the gunfire stops. Everyone is looking around the room frantically, trying to assess the situation, and figure out who the biggest threat is.
