Ready, Willing and Abel (Passion in Paradise: The Men of the McKinnon Sisters Book 3)

by Sarah O'Rourke

  Damn it, if this was the happiness he’d promised her a couple months back, the jerkwad could keep it!

  She was hungry, dammit! And she wanted to cry!! Again!!!

  Letting herself be guided toward the park benches that faced the small duck pond, Patience blinked hard, trying to will away the tears gathering in her eyes. She would not cry. She was sick to death of crying. She was NOT a fucking crier.

  “Sit,” she heard Honor direct her softly as she felt her younger sister nudge her side. “Stay right her and I’ll be back, okay? I’m gonna go get you one of those supersized cups of ice cream from Licks that you love so much. What flavor do you want?”

  Patience felt her throat closing up. Sometimes, she swore that Honor had magical powers, always knowing instinctively what everybody else needed. “Chocolate,” she replied with a watery smile.

  Honor nodded. “Chocolate, it is,” she declared before hurrying back across the street.

  Staring at the water, Patience took some deep breaths and tried to regain control of herself. It was undeniable that she was suffering from some serious mood swings these days. Carrying around a twin pregnancy would do that to anybody, but it was more than that. She felt like she was losing control of her life.

  And she was not a chick that enjoyed not being in the driver’s seat of her own destiny!

  Looking down at her belly, she sighed and rubbed the growing mound that sheltered her babies. “Okay, Beavis and Butthead….this is your Momma. You guys are gonna have to settle down in there and behave for me. Preferably before your momma goes rogue, shoots your daddy and gets committed to the local loony bin,” she warned, lovingly stroking her belly.

  “Beavis and Butthead? Really?” Honor asked as she walked down the path leading back to their bench. “Haven’t we talked about appropriate names to call my nieces or nephews? I don’t think that was on the acceptable list, Patience,” she chided, handing over a huge paper bowl filled to the brim with the creamiest chocolate confection the store had to offer. And her sister knew her well… she’d brought her back two heaping scoops of Death by Chocolate.

  Digging her spoon into the ice cream treat, Patience shrugged. “I tried Amos and Andy and didn’t like the way it sounded. You hated Ren and Stimpy. Faith thought that Raggedy Ann and Andy was too on the nose. And honestly, Abel despised me calling them Yen and Yang. I thought I’d try out Beavis and Butthead. Sue me.”

  Settling back against the wooden bench, Honor smiled as she took a bite from her own cup of ice cream. “Why don’t you try giving them actual names?” she asked, lifting her spoon of what appeared to be orange sherbet to her lips. “That might put everybody’s mind at rest and save us some unnecessary complaining.”

  “Well, I did have twin girls names chosen last week, but Abel vetoed my choices,” Patience griped, swirling her spoon through the chocolate. When Honor merely raised an eyebrow, she continued, “Really, sis, what’s so bad about the names Sapphire and Topaz! They’re unique!”

  Honor’s nearly choked. “You absolutely will not call my nieces by stripper names!” she protested when she found the air to breathe again. “It’s bad enough that Harmony named my first niece, Heaven Leigh! Heavenly, Patience! I swear, if I’d been more myself in those days, I’d have dive bombed her to keep that from happening.”

  “Yeah, well, in that opinion, you and Abel completely agree,” Patience huffed, rolling her eyes. “Of course, Abel is filled with opinions on almost all my choices lately,” she added irritably, jabbing her spoon of chocolaty goodness between her lips and swallowing. “The good news though is that we did finally agree on names if we have both a girl and a boy.”

  Honor’s excited eyes widened. “Really?” she almost squealed. “Well, spill,” she demanded when Patience nodded her head.

  Smiling serenely, Patience leaned back in her seat and stared at her sister. “Just remember, we actually agree on these names, Hon. No negative comments.”

  Holding up her right hand, Honor eagerly bobbed her head in agreement. “I swear! Tell me!”

  “For the girl, we agreed on the name Lily Arianna,” Patience revealed, her own eyes sparkling with genuine happiness as she shared their selection with her baby sister. Honor was the first person she’d told, and she couldn’t wait to hear her reaction.

  “Oh, Pitty Pat, that’s precious. I love it.” Honor beamed her approval. “Now, for a boy….” She invited expectantly.

  “Well, the boy’s name took a bit of negotiation,” Patience shared, shifting in her seat as one of the baby’s rolled inside her. “Abel and I, however, were able to reach a compromise for a change, though,” Patience continued, smiling faintly as she remembered the hour long negotiation she and Able had endured while they’d hashed out a boy name. The negotiation had finally ended when she’d put unlimited blow jobs for a week on the table. Men were so freaking easy to predict; if a girl even mentioned the possibility of a blow job to a guy, their eyes glazed and they become putty in a woman’s hand. Lucky for her, Abel really was all guy. It had been all but a done deal at that point.

  “Don’t keep me in suspense. What did you two come up with for my potential first nephew?” Honor questioned impatiently.

  Clearing her throat, Patience sat up a little straighter. “Albus James,” she announced proudly.

  Honor stared at her quizzically. “Albus?” she repeated, tilting her head.

  “Uh huh!” Patience confirmed, nodding enthusiastically. “Abel said we’d call him A.J. for short and I consented! Isn’t it great?”

  Honor was silent for a few heartbeats before she slowly chuckled. “You used names from your favorite book. I just realized it,” she giggled, shaking her head.

  “Hey, Harry Potter rocks!” Patience defended her favorite book loyally. “And you can’t deny, the names are kind of unique. Really, how many kids named Albus do you know?”

  “Absolutely none,” Honor agreed with a grin. “And you’re right. The names are perfect. You and Abel did a great job. They definitely have my auntie seal of approval.”

  Relaxing against the bench, Patience sighed happily as she spooned the last of her ice cream into her mouth. “Well, keep those names under your hat, okay? Abel and I agreed that we wanted to surprise people if those were the names we ultimately used. Now, if we can ever agree on two girl and two boy names, we’ll be all set.”

  “You’ve got time,” Honor soothed, patting Patience’s knee as she tossed her now empty bowl into the trash can beside them. “Are you two still set on being surprised?”

  Patience nodded. It was one of the few things that both she and Abel completely agreed on. Neither of them wanted to know what they were having in advance. Both of them were satisfied just knowing that their babies appeared to be healthy and growing. It was strange, but ever since she’d decided to keep her babies, it hadn’t mattered to her in the slightest what she was having. She didn’t have a preference as far as boy or girl went. She most just wanted the babies here and healthy and this pregnancy business behind her.

  Because while she might have changed her mind about being a momma, her feelings on pregnancy remained the same.

  IT SUCKED.

  She felt fat, frumpy and flatulent about ninety-nine percent of the time. And the other one percent of time? Well, she supposed she was sleeping.

  No, pregnancy did NOT agree with her, she thought, wiping her sweaty forehead with the back of her hand. “Ugh,” Patience growled, wiping her damp hand against her dress. “I hate this!”

  Honor smiled serenely. “It’s just a little bit of perspiration, Patience. Not the end of the world,” her sister scolded lightly.

  “Oh, puh-lease! Ladies perspire, Honor. I’m a bitch with teeth that sweats bullets,” she objected grouchily, glaring at the younger woman.

  “Pretty words,” Honor gently rebuked her. “Not exactly language appropriate for my niece or nephews,” she nagged, offering her sister a hard look of reproach.

  Patience groaned. “I kn
ow! I’m working on it,” she whined. “It’s just that I’m so big and uncomfortable these days. Honestly, I don’t know how Faith is standing this! She’s almost ready to pop and she’s happy as a pig in shit,” she complained.

  “Well, for starters, she’s not lugging around two human beings inside her. Besides, based on all those books that Faith has made us read, every pregnancy is different,” Honor replied evenly, reaching over to squeeze Patience’s hand supportively.

  The two women lapsed into companionable silence for a long minute before Honor finally offered her older sister a sidelong look. “So,” she hedged carefully. “You and Abel…”

  Patience snorted. “Yeah,” she began sarcastically. “Me and Abel.”

  “That was a tense little scene back at the café earlier, wasn’t it?” Honor queried carefully.

  Patience wanted to laugh. Her sister was approaching this conversation like she was a stick of dynamite and Honor held a match. If it hadn’t have been so serious, it would have been hilarious. “He bought me a tank, Honor,” Patience deadpanned. “Without my consent.”

  “There is that,” Honor surmised reluctantly, staring at the pond. “Of course,” she said a moment later, “He did have your best interest at heart, didn’t he?”

  “And if Zeke commandeered your car, hid it from you, and then delivered the vehicle to you that he wanted you to drive, what exactly would happen?”

  Honor scoffed. “You’d be finding pieces of Zeke’s hide scattered up and down the Smoky Mountain Trail,” she returned stonily.

  “So, you get me,” Patience growled.

  “Partially. Except, you’re not considering the fact that I drive a four door sedan and you drive a two door convertible.”

  “You mean, drove, don’t you?” Patience asked bitterly.

  “Okay, drove. My point is that with the way your pregnancy is advancing….”

  “You mean at the rate I’m growing, don’t you?” Patience sneered. “I’m well aware that I’m reaching blimp-like proportions, Hon.”

  Honor steadfastly ignored Patience’s editorial comments and stayed the course. “…not to mention the fact that you’re hardly going to be able to wrestle two infants in and out of the backseat of a two door sports car, I think that maybe – just maybe – Abel was trying to put you and the babies best interests first.”

  “He bought me the same vehicle that the Army uses, Honor,” Patience yelled, drawing more than one stare from the other occupants of the park.

  “I didn’t say he went about things the right way. Personally, I think a minivan might have been more appropriate…”

  “Bite your tongue,” Patience hissed, recoiling at the mere thought of driving something as mundane as a minivan. She was a top-down-radio-blasting Mustang girl, dang it!

  “All I’m saying is that, perhaps, you should cut Abel a small bit of slack,” Honor suggested warily, trying to unobtrusively scoot to the edge of the bench in the event her sister’s head spontaneously exploded.

  “Et tu, Honor?” Patience questioned with a sad shake of her head.

  “This isn’t Julius Cesar, Patience,” Honor returned with a chuckle. “Can we kill the theatrics? Please?”

  “Are you sure this isn’t a Shakespearean tragedy? Can’t you smell the stink of familial betrayal? Because I detect the distinct aroma of a traitor in my midst,” Patience retorted, narrowing her eyes on her pretty younger sister. Dressed in a khaki skirt and pale pink dress shirt, Honor was the picture of the quintessential good girl. Anyone that didn’t know them would never believe they were sisters based on their clothes. Where she preferred bright, loud colors with a skintight fit, Honor instead gravitated to a well-fitted, neutral colored wardrobe. And this was just one of the many ways they were different. Their personalities… now, that’s where the truly interesting differences emerged. Their current conversation only illustrated this.

  “You’re being melodramatic,” Honor accused with a knowing look, picking at the hem of her skirt as she crossed her trim legs. Glaring at those skinny legs, Patience reminded herself that jealousy was a sin and that she wouldn’t always feel like a bloated whale.

  “Uh huh, just admit you’ve gone over to the dark side and decided to join the Abel parade,” Patience groused before licking the last of the chocolate ice cream off her spoon and tossing her trash toward the garbage can.

  “I haven’t and you know it. Personally, I’m proud of you. There was a time where I’d still be cleaning up Abel’s mutilated body after the stunt he pulled. You’ve grown as a person, Patience. You’ve matured. I think motherhood becomes you,” Honor replied easily.

  “Trust me, I haven’t. I’ve been plotting Abel’s painful punishment ever since I spotted the tank in our parking lot. I’m thinking handcuffs, Abel’s dick, and a live electrical wire are all I need to make my point tonight,” Patience explained thoughtfully.

  Taking a deep breath, Honor shot her sister a look that plainly said she was concerned for her sister’s sanity (and maybe a little worried for Abel’s ding-a-ling) before continuing bravely onward, “Listen, I won’t pretend to understand this man/woman relationship dynamic. And, honestly the whole kinky sex business eludes me, but I’m here if you want to vent.”

  “Vent?” Patience scoffed. “It’s more like I need to purge,” she stated grimly.

  “Purge away, big sister,” Honor invited generously. “I might not have the answers but I’ll be happy to listen.”

  Burying her face in her hands, Patience screamed softly before lifting her head to stare across the water to the other side of the shore where a flock of birds snacked on the discarded bread crumbs that the ducks had refused to eat. Man, those birds had it made. All the crumbs they could eat, and their only worry in the world was whose car to crap on next.

  “Patience, what’s really bothering you?” Honor asked softly. “Is it really Abel? I thought you were happy with him, sweetie. You’ve seemed like you were happy the last few months. You two are always together if he isn’t at work. It’s obvious to anyone that looks at y’all that our friendly local attorney adores you. He looks at you like he could eat you alive most of the time.”

  Patience couldn’t help her fleeting grin. “That’s because the sex is off the charts hot between us. It’s the one thing he and I can completely agree on without any argument whatsoever! I’m not sure if it’s that good or I’m that horny, but it doesn’t seem to matter. When we get naked, the world just falls away.”

  Honor made a gagging noise in her throat before turning repulsed eyes on her sister. “Ewwww! I soooo did NOT need that image in my head, Patience Orla! Take it back,” she demanded adamantly.

  “Can’t,” Patience declared simply. “It’s true. Between Abel’s skills between the sheets and that piercing in his co-…”

  “Stop talking right this second! If you say one word about your man’s no-no, I’m gonna forget you’re pregnant and we’re gonna tussle like I’m twelve again. As I recall, I nearly broke your nose the last time we went toe to toe,” Honor threatened, lifting a hand to fiddle with her pony tail nervously. “Good Lord, I’m gonna need to pour bleach in my ears!” Honor hissed, glaring at her sister before shaking her head angrily. “Ain’t no way I can un-hear that nastiness!”

  Patience laughed. “Now, who’s bein’ dramatic?” she asked with a smirk. “I swear, sis, one day you’re gonna let Zeke get your clothes off and that man is gonna show you what fireworks are.”

  “Just keep talkin’,” Honor challenged through clenched teeth. “I’m still the one that cooks your breakfast, Patience. Would you like to know what burned eggs taste like for a month? Ask Zeke. He’ll tell you how utterly delicious they are.”

  “Okay, okay, I’ll behave,” Patience promised, holding her hands up. She’d seen Zeke choking down those hideous looking eggs after he’d pissed Honor off; she wanted no part of that future.

  “Good,” Honor snapped succinctly. “Now, since I now know – albeit, unwillingly – that th
e intimacy between you and Abel isn’t suffering, maybe you want to share what is bothering you. Well, besides the forty extra pounds you’re carrying around,” she added, waving a hand at Patience’s oversized belly.

  “I’ve only gained thirty-eight pounds, thank you very much,” Patience clipped, offering her sister the evilest eye she could muster. Honest to God, did people have to guess at her weight? It never ended well for her. Or them.

  “Sorry,” Honor muttered, biting the corner of her lip.

  Seeing how anxious the other woman was, Patience took mercy on her. She had bought her ice cream after all. “It’s fine, Peanut,” Patience soothed with a tired smile. “Just overlook my current crazy. It’s just… this thing between Abel and me… I’m just terrified that we’re gonna end up as a headline on CNN. You know something like, ‘Ravishing Expectant Vixen Kills Baby Daddy with Nothing but a Spoon and a Smile. News at Eleven’!

  Honor giggled. “Creative. I like it,” she praised. “What exactly has Abel done to earn your rage – aside from the whole buying you a tank thing?”

  “Hell, I don’t know. What hasn’t he done? It’s like the farther I get along with the twins, the more he turns into this ultimate alpha asshat. Which isn’t exactly easy to deal with since I’ve never been much of a shrinking violet. Hell, Hon, I was an independent, freethinking woman at sixteen! I’ve been making my own decisions and choices for years without having somebody there to question my judgment. And since I’m not some wilting flower, I haven’t been shy about letting him know that the change in the status quo doesn’t exactly have me dancing on air.”

  “I don’t think Abel wants some wilting flower, sis,” Honor denied loyally. “He always knew what he’d be getting when he decided to hitch his little red caboose to your locomotive.”

  “Really? Because I’m not so sure. Personally, I think he filled that caboose with lit dynamite and the jerk is tryin’ to blow my train right off the track entirely,” she claimed adamantly. “Seriously, every day it feels like Abel is browbeating me about some new non-existent problem he supposedly sees. I swear, the only time we’re not bickering is when I’ve got his mouth occupied with other pursuits.” Offering her sister a naughty smile, Patience winked at her. “Did you see what I did there to spare your delicate sensibilities?” she asked mischievously.