Carnal: Pierced and Inked

by Simone Sowood

  Instead of turning off the webcam, I vent all of my sexual frustration. I can edit it out later. Right now it just feels good to say it out loud.

  Why did it take me so long to leave Nathan? I curse myself every day for staying with him for so many years. It’s four years of my life I’ll never get back. I could’ve found someone else, and been happy.

  And had lots of amazing sex and I wouldn’t be an internet fraud, the way I am now.

  Piper and I are going out at one. I need to eat lunch first, but a thought hits me. I quickly change my shirt so I’m not wearing the same clothes as the Don’t be Annoying video, and hit record.

  “I know my pages are generally aimed at couples in relationships, but today I want to talk about casual sex. Because we all can’t be in a relationship all the time, can we? And we have needs. Needs that sometimes just can’t be fulfilled on our own, no matter how powerful our toys. So what do we do? Suppress those urges? Or find someone to scratch them? Say someone you’d never, ever be interested in a relationship with, because they’re a jerk or whatever. I’d be interested in hearing your opinions on this issue, just comment on this video and maybe we can get a good discussion going.”

  I hope my viewers can tell me what to do, I need their help, for once.

  “Do we find someone we know we could and would never, ever have a real relationship with, but that we find really sexy? Or do we only find them in our minds and fantasies and stay solo until another real relationship starts?”

  I spend the rest of the morning editing it. Fueled by the anger I felt while videoing it, I bump my originally planned video to next week and post my Nathan bitchfest Don’t be Annoying. After a moment, I publish the second as well. I call it F*ck Buddies.

  The doorbell rings, and I realize it’s one o’clock and I still haven’t eaten. I head downstairs, and let Piper in.

  “Hey, Piper. Have you eaten? I haven’t had time yet, I’m just going to grab a quick sandwich.”

  “No problem. Sorry we didn’t have any dessert last night.”

  I laugh, “That doesn’t matter, it was fun hanging out with you guys.”

  “My dad really likes you.”

  “He does? He barely said anything.”

  “He never talks much. He likes to listen.”

  Maybe that’s why Piper talks so much, since he doesn’t someone had to.

  “Is he like that with everyone?”

  She shrugs, “Don’t know. I think so. But he agrees with me that you’re really pretty and beautiful and funny.”

  I laugh, why is she saying this? Is this part of his attempt to drill me? Was he serious when he said that? When he first said it I thought he was serious, but this morning I wondered if he was joking and decided it was all an attempt to embarrass me more after the Xtreme Buzz thing.

  Which reminds me, I must never talk to him again. Or even see him. And I definitely can’t let him see me. Which will be tricky, since I live next to him and seem to spend a lot of time hanging out with his daughter, but I’ll figure out a way.

  “What’s your favorite pizza?”

  “Meat Lovers,” I say. I’m getting used to her quick changes of topics.

  “We’re going to order pizza tonight. You’re coming, right?”

  I try to keep my face from looking too horrified while I think of an excuse not to go.

  “I’m really sorry, but I have some work I have to get done for tomorrow.”

  “But it’s Sunday tomorrow.”

  “It’s not fair, is it? But you know editors.”

  “That’s so cool. I can’t believe I’m living next to a real, live author.”

  How long can I keep this writing-a-book facade up?

  “You know what, I’m good with eating a banana in the car. Ready to shop till you drop?” Because the faster we get out of here, the less chance there is of him seeing me.

  Knox

  Piper insists on Avery coming here for pizza after their shopping trip. Fine by me, I enjoy toying with her.

  Though if I’m not careful, I won’t be able to control my cock, and I’ll end up with her bent over my kitchen counter. Actually, forget that. I want her on her back so I can hear her sex kitten voice as I make her purr.

  I figure I may as well get some work done while Piper’s out, and head into my garage to work some more on the blue Corvette. As I’m bent over the car, I can’t help hearing the echoes of Avery’s voice as she moaned out the window that day.

  Standing, I turn to look up at her window and remember the look on her face. If that’s what I do to her when I’m standing ten feet away, I’d love to see what she does when she’s in my arms.

  My mind runs wild with all sorts of possibilities for her. The ideas are endless.

  Except one thought hits me. Piper.

  The day it became clear that Piper was my responsibility to raise, I promised her I wouldn’t expose her to a string of girls. That I’d give her as stable an environment to grow up in as a twenty-two-year old was capable of providing.

  Thirteen years later, I haven’t broken my word to her. There’s no way I can fuck that up now.

  Still, my mind wanders to the swell of Avery’s tits under that top she had on last night. I can’t help wondering what she looks like naked. I tell myself she’s nowhere near as good as I’m imagining, and that this whole thing is getting out of control.

  I need to get my dick in line. This is what happens when you don’t get regular sex. I haven’t fucked anyone since Mrs. Coupland moved. That’s what this is, is all. A serious case of blue balls.

  It’s almost six, and they should be home soon. I don’t understand how it takes five hours to buy bras.

  Good thing I didn’t have to go. I’d have made Piper get the first thing she saw. We would’ve been in and out of Target in five minutes.

  Somehow I don’t think Piper would’ve been happy with that.

  Regardless, Avery’s coming here for pizza. Tonight it would be nice to make it through the night with the ability to stand and walk her to the door like a normal person. Unlike last night, when I had such a raging hard-on that I couldn’t stand and anyone would’ve seen the gigantic bulge in my jeans.

  The only way to solve that is with a quick release, to keep my dick from getting too excited when it hears her voice.

  Minutes later, I’m in the bathroom with the door locked, in case they come home anytime soon.

  My hard cock is in my hand and I’m doing my best to think of anyone but Avery. I think of Charlize Theron. I think of Beyoncé. I think of Jennifer Lawrence. But my mind keeps running back to the sounds Avery made when she was smushed up against her window screen.

  The memory of each little sound sends my cock stiffer and makes my back tense. Tingles radiate from my groin through my entire body, and I keep stroking, remembering the look of her face as she came.

  I want that look for me. A shudder rips through me as cum spurts from my cock. Fuck, I’ve got to stop doing this. I need to stop fantasizing about her while jerking off.

  Except I keep saying that, and I keep doing it. Like I’m some kind of pimply teenager with his first crush.

  After cleaning myself up, I head into the living room to relax while I wait for Piper and Avery to get home.

  I promised Piper pizza. What’s Avery’s favorite type of pizza? It’s probably spinach or something girly. That’s fine, I can order whatever, I’ll just get a meat lover for myself.

  Since it’s after six, I order two pizzas, one meat lover and one vegetarian so we won’t have to wait for them after they get home.

  At six thirty, Piper flies through the door, slamming it behind her. Her arms are loaded down with bags. I assume she spent every penny I gave her.

  Piper’s buzzing with adrenaline. She flits into the living room and dumps the contents of her bags onto the couch.

  “Where’s Avery?” I ask.

  “She went home. Said she’s not feeling well. Thinks she’s coming down with something.”r />
  Bullshit. She’s hiding from me. Maybe I gave her too much of a hard time last night.

  Leaving Piper to examine her hoard, I go over to Avery’s and ring the doorbell. Nothing. I knock on the door. She doesn’t answer. But I know she’s in there, so I pound a little harder.

  “Avery,” I yell through the door.

  Silence. She’s hiding.

  A smirk forms on my face and I silently laugh at how much I’ve rattled her. Another time.

  The pizza delivery guy arrives while I’m standing on her doorstep. I wander back to meet him at his car. After paying him, I take both pizzas and wonder what to do with the vegetarian.

  It doesn’t take long to decide to leave it on Avery’s doorstep.

  “Here’s your pizza I ordered you. I’m leaving it on your doorstep, you can get it after I go home — since I know how you don’t want me to catch your cold and all,” I yell through her door.

  Back inside, I put the meat lover pizza on my kitchen table and get out two plates.

  “Pizza,” I call.

  Piper bounds into the room, wearing a different outfit than the one she arrived home in.

  “Those new clothes? They’re nice,” I say, trying to relate to the girl.

  “Thanks. Avery helped me pick them.”

  I don’t dare ask about the bras she went to buy.

  “So you had fun?”

  “Yes, Avery’s so awesome. And guess what, she had lots of fun last night and really likes you. Like, really likes you.”

  That’s why she had to run home and hide.

  “Oh,” I say, not wanting to enter into this sort of conversation with her.

  After the pizza is gone, I sit through a fashion show of Piper modeling all her new clothes in various combinations. Fortunately she doesn’t mention the bras either.

  When she’s bored of that, we watch another episode of Law & Order before she heads to bed.

  Piper’s been asleep for awhile, and I grab my iPad for my now nightly ritual of watching Avery’s videos.

  My eyes nearly pop out of my head when I see today’s video, F*ck Buddies. My finger flies across the screen and clicks “watch now.”

  Unlike her normal videos, this one is raw with emotion. Her normal cool, controlled self is nowhere in sight. Instead, she’s appealing to her viewers to tell her if she should fuck me or not.

  My heart hammers against my ribs. I’ve rattled her. There’s not a shred of doubt in my mind that this video is about me.

  Avery said she only wants casual sex. Fine by me, that’s all I want too. Except she said she wanted it because she’d never be interested in a relationship with him, because he’s a jerk.

  She thinks I’m a jerk?

  Whatever. She’s a judgmental meddler. That doesn’t need to stop us having a good time.

  It takes all my self control not to barge over there right now and fuck her senseless.

  But I have to think about Piper.

  There must be a way to keep it secret from Piper. Avery’s home in the day. I’m usually home in the day. We can fuck while she’s at school.

  We would just have to make sure Piper never, under any circumstances, found out. Ever.

  And we have to be clear from the outset that this is purely a fuck-buddy arrangement. A convenient one, since she lives next door.

  I can’t resist commenting.

  Ox Man: He doesn’t want a relationship either, go suck him off already. You know you’re gagging for it.

  Avery

  Knox’s muffled voice comes through the door, saying something about leaving a pizza for me.

  I intend to leave it, but realize the animals will get it and make a mess. After twenty minutes, I creak open the door and whip it inside. It’s untouched, the neighborhood cats and wildlife haven’t found it yet.

  At least I have dinner. I carry it into my kitchen, intending to microwave it before eating it in front of the TV. Setting it on the hopelessly old and out-of-date countertop, I get a plate and fling open the lid.

  What is it? There’s no pepperoni. My nostrils flare as I lean in and look closer. There doesn’t appear to be any meat at all. Oh well, I guess beggars can’t be choosers, but I’m really surprised a rugged man like Knox orders vegetarian pizza.

  He’s full of surprises.

  On Sunday, I spend the entire day hiding inside. Even though it’s nearly eighty degrees out and I don’t have any fans or air conditioning, all my windows are shut tight. The idea is to pretend I’m not home. And make sure he can’t hear me from his garage, which is far too close to the property line, now that I think about it.

  I don’t have to face Knox if I’m not technically here. Even if I am technically here.

  It suits me fine anyway, since there’s always more work for me to do.

  Upstairs is unbearably hot and stuffy. The heat releases forty years of smells from the carpet. There’s no way I can work in my fake bedroom. Instead, I grab my laptop and find the coolest room in the house.

  It’s the hideous kitchen, naturally. At least it gives me extra motivation to work, so I can earn enough money to have it ripped out.

  The first thing I do is check the comments on the F*ck Buddies video I posted yesterday. I still can’t believe I did something so rash. How embarrassing. I hope my viewers forgive me for it.

  I intend to capture all the comments, save them to my computer, and delete the video before anyone else has the chance to see it.

  Except there are only two comments:

  Ox Man: He doesn’t want a relationship either, go suck him off already. You know you’re gagging for it.

  And, underneath it, timestamped an hour later:

  Hung like a Donkey: What he said. Go get fucked u uptight bitch.

  Nice. I’d expected some troll stuff but I’d also expected more from my fans. Especially all my female viewers. Fine, maybe not many people saw it. Other than the seven hundred and eighty thousand views it’s showing.

  I click onto the other video I posted yesterday, my rant against Nathan, the Don’t be Annoying video.

  Hung like a Donkey: Ur more annoying than him

  Great, same troll again. I click into another video.

  Mel9424: Love you, you’ve brought so much joy to my life ;) ;)

  I smile, glad that I can help someone. There are a dozen more like it. My eyes keep scrolling down the screen, until I see a comment that sticks out at me.

  Hung like a Donkey: U don’t know what u r talking about

  Um, okay. It’s the same troll again, and my pulse increases.

  I click through my older videos. Hung like a Donkey has commented on every single video.

  Hung like a Donkey: U talk bullshit

  Hung like a Donkey: Ur already stupid but U need to be spanked

  Hung like a Donkey: Go get some so u know what you’re saying

  And on and on.

  All in the past day. Normally I can ignore trolls, but the fact this guy has commented on so many of my videos freaks me out. I report him to YouTube, but there’s not much else I can do.

  The second I’ve hit report abuse, I FaceTime Darla.

  “Check out my latest troll attack” I say the second she appears on my screen.

  Darla’s pale eyes flit across the screen as she clicks into her browser and through my videos.

  “What the what?” she says.

  “I know, right. I’ve reported it but it’s freaky that he’s posted on so many.”

  “Make sure you take screen shots of them all.”

  “Good idea.”

  “Some people have way too much fucking time on their hands,” she says.

  While she’s talking, I grab all of the comments before YouTube takes them down.

  The nice thing about living with Nathan, no matter how useless a man he was, was that when my videos were subject to a troll attack, it wasn’t just me in the house. Having him in bed beside me made me sleep a little easier.

  Now it’s just me and a
n oversized pillow for comfort.

  “How are you doing, anyway? Anything new?” I ask.

  “You mean do I have any more gossip on Nathan?” Darla winks twice at the webcam.

  “No, do not tell me anything about Nathan. I mean it. How are you?”

  “I’m great, babe. I found a new man. Well, if he’s old enough to be called a man yet.”

  “Please tell me he’s old enough to drink.” Is this to do with her turning thirty soon?

  “Of course, otherwise how boring would that be? He’s been old enough to drink for a whole year now.”

  “How does he know what he’s doing in bed? Doesn’t he come too fast?”

  “Oh hell no, I’m teaching him. That’s the fun. This boy doesn’t mind following instructions.”

  “How long has it been? You didn’t know him the last time we talked.”

  “He’s a fast learner. Let’s just say I’m molding him into my dream man.” Darla motions her hands, miming the perfect male shape. She starts wide at the top, descending into a vee shape. When her hands meet, she flips one over and mock grabs a crotch.

  I snort. “You’re bonkers.”

  “And you’re not? Had any more run-ins with Mr Hottie next door?”

  “Nope,” I say, turning my face so she can’t tell I’m lying.

  “Fine. Tell me Friday, since you’re holding out on me now.”

  “So anyway,” I hesitate, “I’m going to come to you and stay for the weekend.”

  “What? No way, I’m coming to see your new place.”

  “You absolutely are not coming here. I miss going to our old haunts, I’m coming to you.”

  “Not. Gonna. Happen. I need to see him in the flesh. If you come here, leave your keys under the mat. Because I’m staying at yours this weekend, with or without you.” It’s her don’t-mess-with-me voice. The one everyone knows means business. I’m sure her new boy toy is very familiar with it. If she says she’s coming, she’s coming. If I’m not here and don’t leave the key, she’ll sleep in her car in the driveway.

  “But…”

  “No buts. Don’t think you can run and hide from introducing me to your neighbor. Because I know that’s what you’re trying to do here.”

  Well she’s wrong about one thing, that’s definitely not what I’m trying to avoid. Unless it comes under the umbrella of avoiding all contact with Knox whatsoever.