Love's Someday

by Robin Alexander

  Erica watched as her father disappeared into the store and turned her attention to the rows of pickups parked along the road with empty boat trailers behind them. The weather was in the low eighties and sunny despite the fact it was early autumn. The water beyond the store was alive with boats hauling the hopeful to spots where the fish were biting.

  Erica watched as her dad emerged from the store with a bag of ice in one hand and a couple of plastic bags swinging from the other. She climbed out to help when she noticed him trying to juggle everything at the rear of the truck. He handed her the bag of ice when she walked up.

  “Slam that on the ground and break it up, then put it in the cooler.”

  Erica did as instructed. The bottom of the cooler was already lined with cans, and the ice that had been in there before was melting. She pulled the plug and let the water drain as she added the ice. “You don’t have a fridge at the camp?”

  Bob looked over at her and smiled as he poured the shiners into his bait bucket. “The camp is better outfitted than the house. Now come over here and take these bait cans and this bag and follow me.” Bob grabbed the ice chest and lugged it across the parking lot. Erica followed him as he went around back of the store and walked out onto a pier. He stepped off into a bass boat moored there and situated the ice chest.

  “We’re going fishing?” Erica handed him the bait.

  “Well, honey, if that wasn’t obvious by now, you’re more distraught than I thought.” Bob smiled as he took her hand and guided her into the boat.

  Erica gave him a lopsided smile as she took a seat. It’d been years since they’d done anything like this.

  “I’m gonna back her out of here, then you’re gonna take the wheel.”

  Erica looked over the shiny new boat and shook her head. “I think I’d rather ride and take in some of the scenery.”

  “Suit yourself then.” Bob handed her a beer and fished out a soda for himself. He took a knife out and cut a boudin link in half and passed it to Erica. “Eat that while you drink the beer. You’ll be drunk as a skunk if you don’t.”

  Erica sniffed at the boudin while her stomach growled. She took a tentative bite, finding the flavor of the rice and meat delicious. She pushed the thought of where it came from out of her mind and ate while Bob guided them out of the slip.

  “I like fishing this time of the year, don’t have to worry about snakes falling out of the trees.” Bob nodded toward the tree-lined shore. “The fish are biting good around those cypress knees right now. I found a little hot spot the other day. Fish were biting my line the second it hit the water. Cross your fingers that no one is fishing it today.”

  The wind whipped Erica’s hair around and into her eyes as they picked up speed. She took the last bite of the boudin and set her beer down as she wiped her greasy hands on her pants.

  “If you look in that compartment by your right leg, there’s some ball caps,” Bob called out over the sound of the boat and wind. “Hand me one, too.”

  Erica fished out the two caps. One was emblazoned with the Barrett logo, the other said Size isn’t important unless you’re fishing. She handed that one to her father. They put on the caps backward as Bob sliced through the water for what seemed like miles. He killed the engine and guided them into a cropping of cypress trees where the boat came to rest.

  “You can bait with the crickets if you prefer, but I have better luck with shiners right here.” Bob handed her a rod. “They’re probably not biting much now, but they will be in an hour or two.”

  It’d been years since Erica had fished. She watched her dad bait his line and mimicked his actions. It took her a couple of tries, but she managed to cast in the spot that she’d picked out.

  Bob leaned back in his seat with a contented sigh and took a sip of soda. “I was twenty-eight when my dad brought me fishing just like this. Your mom had tossed me out of the house, and I was feeling as angry and low as I imagine you’re feeling right now.”

  “Mom threw you out?” Erica watched her float bob on the surface of the water.

  “She did. I was driving a truck then. I’d come home from the road and spent most of my time carousing with the boys. She took care of the house, me, and you girls. That’s a twenty-four-hour job she did without complaint. But I was a bullheaded boy and figured if I was bringing home a paycheck that was all I had to contribute. The rest was her job.”

  Erica shot him a disapproving look.

  “I know,” he said, raising a hand. “Well, I know it now, but not back then. One night, I came in after a night of drinking, and she was waiting for me. My things were packed. I had to sleep in my truck until I was sober, then I went to your granddad’s. I was some pissed at her. But after a lecture from my dad, I understood where I went wrong. She took me back, and I did some changing.”

  Erica looked over at him. “I never knew.”

  Bob shook his head with a smile as he cast his line again. “Your mom kept it all hidden. She didn’t want you girls to see us fight. I remember many a night when she dragged me outside to gnaw on me.”

  “My situation isn’t the same, Dad. I don’t go out ‘carousing.’”

  “No, I don’t expect it is.” Bob sat quietly for a moment. “I was shocked when you told me you were…well, what you are. But when Ashleigh came along and you two settled down, it was like normal, you know? I’ve never looked at you as a son, but I have come to see her as my daughter-in-law. With you both being women, I just never thought you’d have problems like me and your mom did.”

  “It’s really not the same.” Erica cast her line for something to do with her hands besides sip beer.

  “But you’re apart. No matter what the situation is, the result is still the same. There’s always fault on both sides. Well, except for your mother, she was completely justified.”

  “And you think Ashleigh is justified, as well?”

  “That’s not what I said, kiddo. I said your mother was the exception.”

  Erica pulled another beer from the cooler and took a long drink. “We’re both women, but I’m no closer to understanding what she wants than you would. I work my ass off to provide her with a home and whatever she wants to fill it. She doesn’t even have to work if she didn’t want to, and she bitches that I work too much. And then there’s the music thing. She wants to spend all her time with the band.”

  “Well, that I can actually understand. You have your work and a sense of purpose outside of the home. She’s found her sense of purpose with the music.”

  Erica took another sip of beer. It was simple enough. Why hadn’t she seen it? And why did it make her so angry?

  “It’s not just that. She kept who she was from me. When I see her on stage, it’s like watching someone else. I don’t know who she is.”

  Bob jerked as his float slipped under the water. He reeled in his catch with a smile, then frowned when he saw the size of the fish. He plucked the hook from the fish’s mouth and tossed it back into the water. “Grow up and come back,” Bob said as he put fresh bait on his hook.

  Erica reeled her line in and realized why she wasn’t getting any bites. The bait was gone.

  “Why don’t you want to get to know this part of her?” Bob asked as he cast his line back out.

  “Why should I?” Erica asked angrily. “I feel like she’s brought someone new into our relationship. I liked things the way they were.”

  Bob chuckled as he repositioned his line. “Your mom calls us ‘surface thinkers.’ We don’t analyze our feelings. We just go on reacting.”

  Erica tossed the shiner she was going to bait her hook with overboard and set down her rod. “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “It means that all of this bothers you, and you’ve not bothered to figure out why. You just get mad at it and hope it goes away. Good Lord, kid, we’re more alike than I ever imagined.” Bob grinned.

  Erica finished off her second beer, enjoying the way it made her head swim, but it couldn’t dull the ache that gr
ew the more they talked.

  “Now that’s what I’m talking about,” Bob said excitedly as he reeled in a fish worth keeping. “Bait your line, kid. If we catch a few more of these, we’ll have fresh fish for dinner.”

  Erica baited her hook and clumsily cast the line. No sooner than the float hit the water, it went under and she felt the weight of the fish on the line.

  “Oh, my God, Erica, get it in the boat,” Bob said with a grin as Erica struggled to land the fish.

  “Look at him,” Erica said proudly as she held up the fish. “I can’t believe I caught one.”

  “Bait that hook and get it back in the water. We’re definitely having fish for dinner.”

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  “You’re off-key, Ash.” Alex stopped playing.

  Ashleigh clenched her fists and gritted her teeth. “I know. I can’t concentrate.”

  “Then let’s back away from it. Take a break.”

  Ashleigh had been out of sorts all evening. The rest of the band had called it quits. Only Alex remained behind, determined to stick it out for as long as Ashleigh wanted to try. She’d forgotten lyrics to some of the older material, most of which she had written. And then she drifted in and out of key.

  “I don’t want to back away from it. I have to get this. The show is tomorrow night.”

  Alex unstrapped her guitar and put it on the stand. “You did just fine yesterday morning. I think the pressure is getting to you. You were like this when we played gigs before, and when you went on stage, you had it perfect. You will again tomorrow night.”

  “I wish I shared your confidence in me,” Ashleigh said wearily as she took a seat on a stool.

  Alex moved behind her and rubbed at the knotted muscles in her shoulders. “What’s going on with you?”

  “Nerves, I guess.” Ashleigh felt the tension in her neck give way, then return when she thought about who was touching her.

  “Go inside, take a long hot bath, and drink some of Vicki’s nighttime tea. You’ll be a new woman tomorrow,” Alex said as she drew away.

  “Is that what you do to relax?”

  “I vent my tension in other ways.” Alex grinned.

  “Hmm, so you’ll be calling Lisa tonight,” Ashleigh said, jealous that she could not relieve her stress in the same way.

  “Too late to call Lisa. She works tomorrow morning.” Alex turned and looked at Ashleigh. “It’s not all sex with me anymore. I have other ways.”

  “Other ways?” Ashleigh echoed.

  “Uh-huh, wanna do it with me?” Alex arched an eyebrow.

  “That depends on what you mean by ‘doing it.’”

  Alex moved in closer until she was inches away from Ashleigh. “Depends on whether you still have stamina…and a good pair of walking shoes.”

  Ashleigh kicked her foot up and pointed at her shoe. “These are walkers.”

  “Then follow me.” Alex grabbed her hooded sweatshirt and walked out into the night.

  “How far is it around these lakes?” Ashleigh asked as she worked to keep up with Alex’s stride.

  “Six miles, I think.”

  “Hell, it was at least a mile from the house. Are you going to make me walk the entire seven, no eight miles?”

  “Maybe, if you keep whining.”

  “Whi—” Ashleigh began and Alex held up a finger.

  “Shh, focus on the moonlight reflecting off the water. It’ll take your mind off the walk.”

  Ashleigh looked out at the ripples and watched as the moon’s glow rode quietly on them.

  “It would be romantic if you weren’t sharing it with me,” Alex said with a smile, but a flicker of sadness moved across her face. “Don’t say anything. It was a bad joke and we don’t need to go there.”

  Ashleigh walked along, biting the inside of her cheek. She felt she should say something to ease the awkwardness. Instead she kept pace with Alex and stared out at the water.

  “We’ll have to turn back at this point unless you want to make the bend, but if we do, it’ll add another mile or two.”

  “I think I’d rather turn back. Maybe I don’t have the stamina I used to.”

  Alex halted and looked over at Ashleigh, a playful retort perched on her lips. “You’re shivering. You should be sweating by now.”

  “I’m cold-natured, remember?”

  “I do.” Alex unzipped her hoodie and pulled her arms free. “Put this on.” She wrapped it around Ashleigh’s shoulders.

  The familiar scent of Alex’s perfume wafted up, and Ashleigh closed her eyes against the memories that tried to force their way in.

  “What’s wrong?” Alex asked.

  “I remember you. Your smell brings it all back for me, and sometimes…”

  “Don’t say it, Ash.” Alex took a step back. “You’re in a vulnerable position and looking for something to cling to. It can’t be me. I wish it was, but it can’t.”

  “You wish?” Ashleigh looked up into Alex’s eyes.

  Alex let out a long breath and kicked at the gravel beneath her feet. “Three miles to go and you can have that hot bath.”

  “Alex—”

  “Don’t say anything. I know all I need to know. Now let’s walk.”

  “Victoria Kavick,” Alex said, causing Vicki to jump. “Give me that.” Alex snatched the can of soda out of Vicki’s hand. “You’re hiding out here on the patio so Chantal won’t give you grief about this.”

  “Keep your voice down.” Vicki wrapped her robe tighter around herself. “What are you two doing out here?”

  “We went for a walk around the lakes,” Ashleigh said as she watched Alex pour the soda into the flowerbed. “And I’m freezing my ass off, so I’m going to take a bath.”

  Ashleigh brushed Alex’s cheek with a quick kiss, then Vicki’s. “Thanks for the walk, Alex, it did relax me.”

  Vicki and Alex watched Ashleigh slip into the house, and Vicki turned and looked at Alex. “Took a moonlit stroll around the lake, did you?”

  “We did.”

  “You’re spending too much time with her.”

  “I know.” Alex looked away.

  “You’re going to get hurt.” Vicki reached over and tugged at Alex’s T-shirt.

  “Already am.”

  “Oh, Alex, I warned you.”

  “You did,” Alex said, looking anywhere but in Vicki’s direction.

  “What are you going to do?”

  “Nothing, she’ll go back to Erica, and I’ll have to get over it. But for now, I’ll enjoy what little piece of her I can.”

  “What am I going to do with you?” Vicki wrapped her arms around Alex’s waist and pulled her close.

  Alex didn’t say anything for a minute but allowed Vicki to hold her. “I’m gonna be okay, Vic. I always am.”

  Vicki released her and stroked her cheek. “You finally let your heart go and you can’t have her.”

  “Isn’t that the way it goes?” Alex asked with a sad smile.

  “I love you both so much. I just don’t know what to do with either of you.”

  “You can let me go home, so I can take a hot bath and get some sleep. We have lots to do tomorrow.”

  “Good night, sweetie.” Vicki placed a kiss on Alex’s cheek. She watched Alex move through the darkness and disappear through the fence, then she put the soda can in the trash, hiding all evidence.

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  Erica climbed from the truck smelling of beer and fish. Nonetheless, her mother pulled her into a hug and squeezed her for a minute before letting her go. “Enjoy the fishing trip?” She stroked Erica’s wind-chapped face.

  “I did, we caught a bunch,” Erica said, feeling vulnerable under her mother’s scrutiny.

  “Leave your dad to clean them. You come inside and get washed up.” Faye Barrett draped an arm around Erica’s shoulder and led her toward the camp.

  “Hey, there’s a lot of fish here,” Bob called after them.

  “You’ve had her to yourself all day,
honey, she’s mine now,” Faye called back as she pushed Erica up the steps.

  “Why don’t you shower, and I’ll start getting ready to cook dinner?” Faye suggested when she noticed the mud on Erica’s clothes.

  Erica looked down at herself. “I don’t have anything else to wear. I wasn’t prepared to come out here.”

  “I have some sweats you can wear.” Faye guided Erica to the bathroom. “I’ll bring them in. Go ahead and get into the shower. You smell as bad as I’m sure your dad does.”

  Erica chuckled at her mother’s look of disgust as she slipped into the bathroom and closed the door. She stripped and walked under the hot spray of the shower with a sigh. She leaned against the wall feeling exhausted and emotionally drained. Though she was with her family, she felt so far away from home and even farther from Ashleigh.

  Her father had been right. Get mad at it and make it go away was her way of coping with anything that made her feel threatened. She’d held on to it since Ashleigh left, but as anger slowly gave way to reason, the pain left her feeling crippled and helpless. And now, she was virtually trapped with her parents when she really wanted to hide herself away.

  “You did this on purpose, didn’t you?” Erica asked as she walked into the kitchen.

  Faye was grinning when she turned to face her, then giggled. “It’s such a lovely color on you, honey.”

  “I’m not even sure you can call this pink.” Erica looked down at the sweats her mother had given her to wear. “It’s more like…flamingo…if that’s a color.”

  “I really didn’t do it on purpose. I thought I’d brought my gray pair out here.”

  Erica moved alongside her and swiped a hush puppy while her mother readied the batter for the fish. “As long as you’re not going to invite anyone else to dinner, we should be fine.”

  Faye handed the batter and a beer to Bob, who stood out on the back porch warming up the fish fryer. “We don’t fry food in the house anymore. It makes too much of a mess and smells the place up. Besides,” Faye said with a conspiratorial smile, “the bigger pain in the ass I make it, the less we eat fried food.”