Alex took Ashleigh’s plate to the kitchen when she finished eating and refilled her tea glass. She set it down with a smile and took a seat next to Jaclyn and Lindsay. Ashleigh watched as Alex kicked off her shoes and draped one leg over Lindsay’s lap.
It amused Ashleigh as she leaned against Chantal’s shoulder how comfortable they all still were with one another. They snuggled up like a litter of puppies, and no one thought it odd.
Unable to devote her full attention to the movie, Ashleigh’s mind drifted. She thought about Erica and wondered how she was spending the evening and with whom. The thought of Erica and the distance between them made her eyes burn. She blinked rapidly, keeping the tears from forming. She focused on the movie for a moment, then her gaze settled on Alex.
For a fleeting second, she allowed herself to wonder what it would be like to date the woman Alex had become. The feeling of guilt came immediately for entertaining that thought even for a moment. She wasn’t being fair to Erica or their relationship dwelling on such things. So she allowed the not-so-pleasant memories of Alex to flood her mind.
“Have you seen Alex?” Ashleigh asked Jaclyn when she answered her hotel room door.
Jaclyn reached out and pulled Ashleigh inside. “Did you check the bus?” She pushed a pile of clothes from the bed and offered Ashleigh a seat.
“The bus was locked. I checked the lounge and the convenience store across the street. She’s nowhere in sight.”
Jaclyn shrugged. “You know how she gets when she messes up. She hides herself away.”
Ashleigh looked at the clock on the bedside table. It was after one in the morning. “She doesn’t normally ‘hide away’ for this long.” Ashleigh sighed as she stood. “If you see her, let me know.”
“The only thing I’m gonna see are the backs of my eyelids,” Jaclyn mumbled and flopped back on the bed.
Ashleigh meandered down the silent hall on the way to the room that she was supposed to be sharing with Alex. She poked her head inside and frowned when she realized it was still empty. She made up her mind to pass through the lounge on the way to the bus again. If Alex wasn’t in either place, she would be forced to give up and wait.
A perfectionist when it came to playing guitar, Alex became deeply disappointed in herself whenever she made the least of mistakes. She’d made three during the concert they played earlier in the evening. When the bus arrived at the hotel, she stayed behind, asking to be left alone. Ashleigh honored her request, but as the hours passed, worry set in, and an unsettling gnawing began in the pit of her stomach.
Except for a few patrons at the bar, the lounge was empty. The bus was her last hope. She was surprised to find it unlocked and pushed her way in. Ashleigh felt the blood drain from her face when she heard two distinct voices crying out in passion. One of them she knew intimately. Common sense told her to walk away, but the emotional side won out. She needed to see with her eyes what her ears had heard.
Without a word, she moved down the narrow hallway and threw the door open. The smile that Alex had been wearing slipped from her face. Shock, anger, and shame flashed across her features in rapid succession. The woman beneath Alex barely noticed Ashleigh’s interruption.
“Sleep here tonight” were the only words that Ashleigh could think of to say at that moment.
Ashleigh was brought back to the present when Jaclyn and Lindsay began to argue again. She stood and stretched, feigning exhaustion. She kissed each woman on the cheek and went to her bedroom. She wasn’t up for conversation with anyone that night, especially Alex.
She filled the bathtub with hot water and sank into it with a sigh. A feeling of homesickness washed over her as she lay back. She wanted to go home and soak in her own tub. Sleep in her bed and be surrounded by her things. Ashleigh scrubbed at her face in frustration. Were those the only reasons she wanted to go home? Did Erica factor in at all?
If she were to be truthful with herself, she would have to acknowledge that they had become roommates who occasionally had sex. The connection between them had all but faded away. Diminished by the mundane activities of life such as paying the phone bill, taking out the trash, staring at the TV because there was nothing to talk about. It was no wonder that they’d broken up over something as simple as their inability to compromise on one issue.
Maybe it was time to start looking for a place of her own.
Chapter Thirty-two
From the moment Ashleigh unlocked the doors to the clinic, people poured in. Those who weren’t complaining of nausea and vomiting were plagued with the common cold. Ashleigh along with the rest of the staff nearly bathed themselves in antibacterial cleansers. She could cope with a cold, but a stomach virus was something she wanted no part of.
When it came time for her lunch break, Ashleigh hid herself away in the employee lounge with a bag of chips and noticed a text from Drew. Call me when you can.
“You sound a hundred percent better,” Ashleigh said with a smile when Drew answered the phone.
“I am. I had stopped tossing my cookies by the time I talked to you yesterday. Now I just feel drained and puny.”
“You need to rest. Give yourself some time to recuperate.”
“Yeah, right. I’ve been up since six this morning running between your house and mine. Erica and Kaitlyn have it now. I made Erica come over here so I could keep an eye on both of them.”
“Oh, Drew, I’m so sorry. I’ll come over after work and take the night shift so you can get some rest.”
“No, you’re not. It’s too contagious. Stay away, Ash, I won’t let you in the house.”
“That’s silly, I’m exposed to it here at work.” Ashleigh tossed the half-eaten bag of chips in the trash. “You’re not in any condition to handle those two weenies by yourself. Remember when they got the flu? It nearly killed us.”
“That’s precisely why you shouldn’t come here—double exposure. Besides, it only lasts about twenty-four hours. Hold on.” Drew pulled the phone away from her face. “Take the damn suppository, Katie! If you don’t stop whining, I’m gonna shove it up your ass myself. I swear it’s like having two six-year-olds,” Drew said when she replaced the phone. “They don’t want to take the nausea medicine because it’s a suppository.”
“I can see if Dr. Benoit will stop by when we close,” Ashleigh said with a grin. “He lives a block over. I’m sure he’d stop and give them both a shot if I asked.”
Drew lowered her voice. “If I were to even mention a shot, they’d run screaming. I bet those two would go to your house and barricade themselves in. I give them another hour or so of this, and they’ll both be willing to stuff their butts full of hot coals if it’d make them stop puking.”
“Is there anything I can get you now?”
“No, they can’t eat anything, and I’m just nibbling toast,” Drew said around a yawn.
“When I get off work, I’ll pick up some bread and a few things. I don’t want you trying to go out for groceries.”
Drew reluctantly gave Ashleigh a list of items they needed and made her promise that she would leave everything on the hood of Kaitlyn’s car.
Later that evening, Ashleigh did as instructed while Drew watched through the window of the closed kitchen door.
“Tell them I’m sorry they’re sick,” Ashleigh said through the door. Drew gave her a nod and a thumbs-up. “Tell Erica…” Ashleigh ran her fingers through her hair in frustration. “Tell her to call me if she needs anything.”
Drew nodded again and pointed toward Ashleigh’s car. “Go.” She gave Ashleigh a look that was meant to be intimidating.
Ashleigh glanced over at the house that she shared with Erica as an uneasy feeling settled in the pit of her stomach. She hoped that it wasn’t the beginning of the virus. In her heart, she knew it was simply longing to go home. As she headed south toward Baton Rouge, she felt torn. On one hand, she wanted to go home. On the other, she wondered if she had a home to go back to and again pondered if it was time to move on. S
he’d never been so conflicted in her life.
It felt like years had passed since she walked out. She almost felt toward Erica how she felt when she saw Alex again. Someone she’d loved in the past but really didn’t know now.
“You look tired.” Chantal looked up from the newspaper she was reading at the kitchen table.
Ashleigh followed her nose to the coffeepot and poured herself a cup. Then she sank into a chair. “It was a long day. Everyone in St. Francisville is sick with one thing or another.”
Chantal folded and set the paper to the side. “I messed up the computer at the store today. Vicki got tired of me hovering over her shoulder, so she sent me home.”
“Good, that’ll give me a chance to cook for a change. I should contribute in some way.” Ashleigh began to rise.
Chantal put a hand on her arm, stilling her. “She told me to tell you not to do anything. She’ll pick up something on the way home. Sit, she won’t be long.”
Ashleigh rolled her eyes. “I feel like a freeloader. She’s got to let me do something around here.”
“You’re here, that’s all that matters to us.” Chantal smiled and squeezed Ashleigh’s arm. “It’s not the best of circumstances for you, but for us, it’s been wonderful. It’s gonna suck when you leave.”
Ashleigh felt her face grow hot, and tears burned the back of her eyes.
The smile didn’t fade from Chantal’s face, instead her dark eyes studied Ashleigh intently as she reached up and wiped away the tear that streaked down Ashleigh’s cheek. “Talk to me.”
Ashleigh shook her head. “I’ve never been so confused in my life.”
“You’re trying to decide whether you should move on or try and salvage what you had,” Chantal said as though she was reading Ashleigh’s mind.
“I don’t even understand why we’re really apart anymore. I was hurt and angry because I thought she was just being a shit about me having an outside interest.”
“It’s never anything that simple,” Chantal said with a shrug. “We blow up at one thing, but usually there’s a long list of unforgiven sins behind it.”
“I want change. I’m not satisfied anymore with my life, and I didn’t even realize it until y’all came back into the picture,” Ashleigh said more to herself as she looked down at the table.
Chantal reached over and placed her hand atop Ashleigh’s. “Erica let you go. She didn’t show up the next day and beg for you to come home. I suspect that maybe she wasn’t perfectly happy, either.”
Wrapped up in her feelings as she was, Ashleigh never considered that Erica might not have been content.
“There’s only one way to know if you two have anything to work on.” Chantal released Ashleigh’s hand and tipped Ashleigh’s chin up with her fingertip. “Running away never solves anything, does it?”
“I know,” Ashleigh admitted, feeling like a child.
“I want to tell you something, but I have to preface it by saying that I love you very much, and what I’m about to say comes from genuinely wanting to help.” Chantal paused and waited until Ashleigh met her gaze. “We’re all adult women, but sometimes we can be petulant and petty. We’re human after all. But from what I’ve seen of Erica, she really appears to love you, and from what I can tell, she’s a pretty good provider. Am I right?”
Ashleigh nodded, knowing where Chantal was going, but hearing what she’d been feeling inside said out loud by one of her closest friends still stung.
“When you came along, you were so wounded. We, of course, wanted that sultry soulful voice of yours, but we also wanted to take care of you.” Chantal rolled her eyes. “Especially Vicki, she mothered you a lot in the early days, and I can see her doing it again now. My point is, it’s time for you to grow up emotionally. Stop running when things get difficult and face them. If you aren’t in love with Erica anymore, then sever the ties, but if you still love her, don’t let the relationship die over something like this. Compromise.”
Ashleigh averted her gaze in shame. “I…understand what you’re saying, and I agree. I’ve had a lot of time to think things over and I’m not impressed with what I’ve been seeing in myself.”
“We all do it,” Chantal said with a smile. “I know Vicki told you about our split, and to be honest, I was mostly the culprit. Of course, I can admit it now, but back then, it was hard to face up to.”
Ashleigh stood and kissed Chantal on the cheek. “I have a phone call to make. Thank you for being honest with me.”
“One day, you’ll do the same for me because we’re going to all grow old together, you little shit. Promise me that.”
“Promise,” Ashleigh said with another kiss, and she retreated to her room.
“How are you feeling?” Ashleigh said nervously when she heard Erica’s voice.
“Right now, I hate Drew and her medicine,” Erica’s voice sounded weak and tired. “She’s like a drill sergeant armed with a box of suppositories. I finally relented and took one, but Kaitlyn is holding out. I think Drew is going to stuff it up her nose.”
Ashleigh chuckled at the mental image as she sank down onto the bed. “Do you need anything?” she asked for lack of anything better to say and wondered if the awkwardness would always be there between them from now on. The line was silent, and she wondered if she’d lost the connection.
“I need…” Erica’s voice quavered. Ashleigh heard her swallow. “I need things I don’t know how to ask for.”
Tears flooded Ashleigh’s eyes as relief flooded her body. “We need to talk, I—”
“No.” Erica’s voice was suddenly firm. “I don’t want to sit down and talk about what’s wrong with us.” Ashleigh could hear her swallow hard again. Her tone was softer, almost nervous. “Right now, I just want to get to know you. So…I was wondering if you’d like to go out with me.”
“Like a date?”
“Yeah, maybe next weekend?” Erica asked, sounding hopeful. “How about Saturday around three?”
“Saturday’s good,” Ashleigh said, wondering about the odd time. “Do you want me to meet you at the house?”
“No, I’ll pick you up.”
Ashleigh felt the elation and hope drain away all at once as she pondered why Erica didn’t want her coming to their home.
“I want us to really date,” Erica said as if reading her mind. “Will you indulge me?”
“Three it is.” Ashleigh felt as though she were on a roller coaster of emotion. Excited one second at the prospect of working things out, then confusion and hurt about the distance she felt that Erica was still imposing.
“I have to go now.” Erica’s voice took on an anxious edge, and Ashleigh wondered if she was feeling as uncomfortable as she was. “The medicine Drew gave me is making me woozy. I…I’m looking forward to seeing you.”
“Did you almost slip and tell me you loved me?” Ashleigh clamped her eyes shut against her tears.
“I wasn’t sure if you wanted to hear it or not.”
Ashleigh released an explosive breath and the sob she tried unsuccessfully to hold back. “I need to hear it.”
“I do love you, Ash,” Erica said, her voice sounding like it was riding the edge of an emotional breakdown. “That’s why I called you.”
Ashleigh sniffed and chuckled. “I called you.”
“Oh, that’s right.” Erica tried to laugh, but it came out as a hiccup.
“Go get some rest, and be well for our date Saturday.”
“I will. I love you, Ash.” Erica hung up the phone before Ashleigh could reply.
“I love you, too,” Ashleigh said aloud as she rolled over and clutched her pillow. The conversation, short as it was, drained her physically and emotionally.
She awoke the next morning nearly in the same position and wearing the clothes from the day before.
Erica felt someone tugging on her eyelid. She opened the other eye and looked up at Kaitlyn, who was as pale as a sheet. Kaitlyn shook her head with a disgusted look. “You bitch, you slept
all night. Wanna know how I know? I heard you snoring while I was hugging porcelain.”
Erica smacked her lips, stretched, and realized that her stomach was no longer churning. “I feel better.”
“You should.” Kaitlyn jerked the covers back and climbed into the bed. “You snored so hard I thought you were going to suck the roof in on us.”
“What are you doing?” Erica asked as she wiped the sleep from her eyes.
Kaitlyn made a face and stuck her cold feet on Erica’s legs. “Drew threw me out, said I was whining too much.”
“I got a date this Saturday,” Erica said with a smile.
“Good, that’ll give you a few days to do something about that rancid breath.” Kaitlyn pinched her nose. “But I’m happy for you.”
“You have no room to talk, Katie.”
Kaitlyn gave Erica a nudge. “Where ya gonna take her?”
Erica stared back at the ceiling. “I have some ideas, but none of them seem good enough.”
“Take her out to eat at the place you went for your real first date. That could be romantic.”
Erica massaged her brow as she wracked her brain. “No, it’s got to be something new.”
“Okay, take her to Chuck E. Cheese’s and play skee ball and beat gophers back into their holes with padded mallets.”
Erica blinked and looked over at Kaitlyn, who was glassy-eyed. “You are delirious, obnoxious, and absolutely no help at all.”
Kaitlyn yawned and shrugged. “Sounded good to me, I like to beat the gophers.”
Erica yawned in response to Kaitlyn’s. “I feel sleepy again.”
Kaitlyn’s eyes were already closed as she nodded in agreement. “Think about the gophers,” she mumbled as they drifted back off.
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