Archer

by Debra Kayn

  “Who are you calling?” he asked.

  “Not that it’s any of your business, but Sabrina. You’re not the only one who has friends who’ll have your back. I’ve got my own friends, and when I need their help, they won’t manhandle me and make me do what I don’t want to do.” She turned on her phone, but Kage ripped it from her hands and threw it against the wall. The cell split in half and the battery ricocheted into the couch.

  Jane gasped. “What the hell are you doing?”

  “Say it again,” he whispered.

  She blinked several times without understanding the change in the tone of his voice or his demand. “What?”

  “Tell me about your friends.”

  “I…it doesn’t matter.” She marched toward the door. “I’ll walk all the way home if I have to.”

  He reached the door first. “You have friends who have your back.”

  It dawned on her what she said. The implications of what it meant. The knowledge that when she needed her friends, she’d pushed them away. “Don’t do this to me.”

  “Stop hiding.”

  Jane dropped her gaze. “I can’t.”

  “You can,” he said, his voice dropping lower. “You have to, baby. This isn’t healthy.”

  She rounded on him. “You don’t think I don’t know that? Nothing about me is healthy. I spent four years letting someone beat the crap out of me if I looked at him the wrong way. What kind of person does that? Each time I ran, I’d let myself believe it was the last time…it was finally over and I’d be free. And, every single time, I went back with him. You think the problem is fixed because you captured Scott? It’s not, because the problem is in here.” She thumped her chest. “I’m the problem.”

  “Janie—”

  “It’s true.” She held her hand in front of her. “Look at what happened between you and me. Three nights, and I’m on my back, you between my legs. That’s how desperate I am. You’d already turned me away once, and yet at the first sign of attention from you, I sleep with you. You offered me safety and protection, but you don’t really love me.”

  He frowned. “Why would you say I don’t love you?”

  “Because you’ve never told me.” Her heart raced, and she gasped for breath. “I can’t even think for myself anymore or trust my own judgment. I rely on you for support, because you’re strong enough for both of us.”

  “You’re not—”

  “One day you’ll wake up and realize your good intentions suck, and you’re tired of me. I won’t do that to you.” She sucked in air. “I’ll slowly kill whatever we have, and I won’t allow another person I care about to die. Do you understand me? I don’t want you to die.”

  He put his hands in his front pockets and his gaze softened. She stood alone, breathing hard, unable to control the way the tightness in her chest splintered, leaving pain throughout her body, robbing her of every thought.

  “He died,” she said on a sob. “Because of me, Daddy’s gone, and I’ll never be able to talk with him again or hold his hand. He had huge hands, bigger than anyone I know, and rough. More times than not, he’d leave a spot of grease behind on everything he touched. Do you know how many times I’d glance in a mirror and see a smudge of grease on my chin or cheek because Dad patted my face, just because he loved me?”

  “Yes, he loved you,” he said.

  “He’d always tell me ‘I love you, Janie girl.’ Then h-he’d pat my head and smile before he cupped my cheek. Always. And, now I’ll never feel his touch because his heart couldn’t take what I put him through.” She cupped her elbows in her hands and curled into herself. “I killed him, and I can’t bring him back.”

  Kage gathered her in his arms, walked to the couch, and sat with her on his lap. She shoved her face into his neck. The guilt of what happened the morning her dad died slowly drowned her. She’d pushed aside her grief in order to survive and nothing, not even Kage, could stop the emptiness inside of her from coming out.

  “Your dad had a heart attack, baby,” he whispered, stroking her hair.

  She shook her head. “He died because I had finally worked up the nerve to call him at three o’clock in the morning after Scott got done teaching me a lesson. I told him everything.”

  “Jane. That did not kill your dad.”

  She pushed against Kage and gazed up into his face. “He died outside, beside the car, his keys in his hand, right after I called him to come and get me. All I cared about was someone was finally coming to help me get away from Scott, and instead I killed him.”

  “Your dad needed a valve replacement, baby. The doctor had been after him for weeks, but he didn’t want to take time away from the garage to take care of his health. After he died, the doctor at the hospital told Garrett that his heart simply gave out. It was not because you called and asked for help.” Kage held her face between his hands. “He was your father. He could handle the truth. That’s his job, and just because it coincided with his heart failing him, you must know that he was doing the one thing he wanted to do. He loved you, and he was coming to help.”

  “A heart problem?” she said.

  He kissed her forehead. “It was not your fault.”

  She stared at him, not understanding all the new information being thrown at her. Dad had taught her how to be strong and always supported her in whatever she wanted to do. He should’ve told her about his health problems.

  If she’d known, she could’ve talked with him more. She let out her breath, closed her eyes, and felt Kage swipe moisture across her cheek.

  When she opened her eyes, she realized she was crying.

  “Let it go,” he whispered, pulling her down against his chest. “It’s been too damn long. You’ve never cried. You’re too fucking strong.”

  And maybe, because he gave her his permission, Jane’s careful hold on her emotions crumbled. She cried for lost time, for missing her dad’s life the last four years, for not being a good sister, and for putting her garbage on Kage’s shoulders.

  She replayed her life, changing the things she wished could’ve been different. The happy times and the special moments, no one could take those memories away from her. Most of all, she remembered the boy who always stood up for her, whether it was against her brother or so-called friends she’d lost along the way growing up. She held onto Kage’s shirt, afraid he’d let her go.

  Hours later, or sometime in the early morning, she woke up in bed, wrapped in Kage’s arms. She slid out from under him. Her head was heavy from all the tears, but the pressure in her chest was lighter and less painful.

  He propped his head on his hand. “Where are you going?”

  “I have to find something.” She turned on the bedroom light, squinting against the glare.

  She found her shoes at the end of the bed. Wide awake and anxious to show Kage, she smiled at him.

  “Is your car locked?” she asked. “I need my purse.”

  He pushed off the bed. “I’ll get it.”

  “Okay.” She pushed her hair out of her face. “I’ll start the coffee.”

  In the kitchen, tears threatened again, and she pushed them away. She rushed to the back door, and opened it. The bowl of cat food still sat full on the step. Oh, Bluff. Where are you?

  Kage came in the kitchen. “Here’s your purse.”

  “Bluff never came to eat.” She closed the door. “Do you think she’s okay if she’s out there in the woods?”

  “Yeah, baby, she’s a cat. After being stuck inside the house lately, she’s probably exploring. Do you know if she’s fixed?” He scratched his chest.

  “I-I don’t know.” She dropped her arms and stared at Kage. “She’s was really young and little when I found her. Just a kitten, really.”

  “I’ll take that as a no.” He smiled tenderly. “I don’t have to explain a female cat’s behavior to you, right?”

  She fought a grin. “No.”

  “I checked around the house when I was out there. I didn’t find her, but I’ll l
ook in the woods and down by the spring before I have to head to work. Are you going to the garage today?”

  “Yeah. I want to talk to Garrett,” she said.

  “Right.” Kage sat down at the table and rubbed his hands over his face. “Are we good this morning?”

  “Yes.” Jane moved in and kissed him. “Thank you. For everything.”

  He scooped her onto his lap. “More.”

  She kissed him again.

  God. How could she walk away from him, from this? Her lips softened and warmed. His tongued stroked her slow and hot. Pleasure walked up her spine, leaving tingles in its wake. Her belly rolled, turning her insides to mush.

  He made everything okay. It felt good, right, exhilarating.

  Yet she put her hands on his chest, and pushed him away gently. “I have to show you something.”

  “Thought that’s what you were doing when we were kissing,” he said.

  “A different something. I was going to show you after the first time we had sex, but you distracted me.” She tugged her purse off the table, extracted her wallet, and held it in her lap. “Do you remember when I came home for the funeral?”

  “Yeah,” he whispered, and his hold on her tightened.

  “What you don’t know is Scott threatened to make a scene at the funeral if I didn’t promise to come back to him.” Hatred burned in her stomach at the memory. “I couldn’t even concentrate on what was happening at home or with Garrett. I wasn’t allowed to mourn Dad the way I wanted. Last night…well, I need to face that he’s really gone. I know that.”

  “There’s time. You’ll handle it when you’re ready, and I’ll be right here to help you,” he whispered.

  “I know,” she whispered back. “I knew it that day, and I know it now. What you don’t understand is I knew it so long ago that I can’t even pinpoint a day when I didn’t know that you were something special.”

  His eyes softened, and she kissed him. “You see, if I look back on the time I lived with Scott, there was one thing that kept me believing that everything was going to be okay. Every time he hit me—”

  “Babe. It’s over,” he said.

  “Let me finish, please.” She unclipped her wallet and pulled out a piece of paper, handing it to him. “You gave me your phone number the day of the funeral. I held on to it. You can see where the paper’s worn and the ink is faded. That’s because I held it in my hand whenever I needed to believe I was worth something to someone. The last time I was in the hospital, I kept it wadded up in my fist. I threw a fit if the nurses tried to open my hand. When I went back to the apartment, I put it in my wallet folded and hidden in a receipt so Scott would never find it.”

  He cleared his throat. “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying…you saved me, Kage. I keep telling myself we’re going too fast, that we don’t know where this relationship is headed, but I’d be lying if I told you that’s how I’m feeling. The truth is I love you. I’ve loved you since I was seventeen and you refused to kiss me. I know that’s not real love, but when I’d dream of the man I wanted, it was always you.” She raked her teeth over her bottom lip. “For the last four years, it was you who I thought about and escaped to in my mind when it seemed impossible to go another day living with Scott. When I was in his bed, I pretended I was in yours.”

  “Fuck,” he whispered.

  “I’m not going back to keeping my feelings to myself anymore. I’ve hurt too many people by living a lie.” Jane stroked his jaw. “I know you don’t feel the same way, and I’m okay with that. But I’m not leaving your bed again. It’s where I always wanted to be.”

  “Say it again,” he said.

  “What?”

  “The truth.” His jaw ticked as he fought a grin. “I need to hear you tell me.”

  “I love you,” she whispered against his lips.

  He kissed her hard, possessive, demanding. Her need to show him what she was feeling was pushed to the side as he took everything from her, stripping her of the worry over spilling her secrets. He accepted and gave back tenfold.

  Both of them panting, he pulled back softly, giving her small kisses, until he laid his forehead against hers. “Love you too, baby. Always have. Just had to wait. I’m done waiting.”

  She melted. “I get you.”

  Chapter Twenty-four

  Kage slid under the black Corvair convertible on a dolly. Garrett handed him the air wrench, while Lance and Tony held the new chrome bumper onto the frame. Jane elbowed Sabrina, grinning at the men. Both of them sat on the tool bench in front of the car, content to watch the guys from Body Shop do their magic.

  “I told Kage I loved him yesterday,” Jane said.

  Sabrina swayed sideways with the radio playing, twirling a welding rod. “I heard about it already.”

  She tilted her head. “From who?”

  “Kage. I overheard him talking to Garrett in the john.” Sabrina grinned and tossed the rod beside her on the bench. “You should’ve seen Garrett go all big brother on him. It was hilarious. I thought Kage was going to punch him.”

  “He didn’t tell me.” She sighed. It figured Kage would confide in Garrett, they were best friends, but Garrett was her brother, and she wanted to make up for lost time by spreading all the good news around. “Hey, what were you doing in the bathroom with them?”

  “You’ve seen the one they built in the agency. It’s sweet. No way am I going to use the garage bathroom. It’s not fit for a woman.” Sabrina hopped down off the bench.

  “Wait.” She jumped to the floor. “How often do you hang out here?”

  Sabrina smiled and walked away, leaving Jane more confused than ever. Why would Sabrina come to the garage so often when Jane was working and not stop into the office to say hi?

  “That’s it.” Kage handed out the air tool and rolled out from under the car. “This one’s done.”

  Garrett and Lance walked back ten feet, studying the Corvair and grinning appreciatively. Sabrina pushed her way between Garrett and Lance, joining them in their admiration. Jane hung back, warmed by the scene. She’d witnessed the moment of completion on many a job. Even before Garrett and the guys had taken over the shop she’d often watched her dad rolling a car out to the customer. There was something about the pride and male satisfaction that comforted her.

  “Hey, baby.” Kage walked toward her. “Want to hand me that rag?”

  She reached behind her, picked up the old used T-shirt, and tossed it to him. He wiped the grease from his hands, leaned in, and kissed her.

  “What’re you thinking?” he asked.

  “Does Sabrina come here a lot? I mean, before I came home.”

  He chuckled and shrugged. “I guess so. Why?”

  “Don’t you think it’s strange? Not that she’s not welcome here, but hello…it’s just a bunch of guys working.” She unzipped his coveralls and slid her hands inside and around his waist.

  He stood still, letting her get her feel of him without getting her greasy. “Sabrina’s got a thing for Garrett.”

  “A thing? Like…a thing, thing?” She stepped away.

  Kage grinned. “Yeah, although your brother’s ignoring her.”

  “Why?”

  “Don’t know.” He peeled his arms out of the coveralls, pulled a stool closer, and sat. “That’s his business.”

  “Not anymore.” She stepped forward.

  Kage tagged her waist and hauled her onto his lap. “Stay out of it.”

  “But he’s my brother and she’s my best friend.” She bounced on his legs. “This is freaking fantastic!”

  He tilted her back. She squealed, wrapping her arms around his neck. These moments, Kage carefree and playful, she wouldn’t give up for anything.

  After sharing all her bottled-up feelings with Kage the last two days, she looked forward to whatever came next between them. She spent her days at the garage. Most of the time that meant spending it with Kage, unless he went out on a case for a few hours. At night, she sle
pt in his bed.

  “Knock it off, you two.” Garrett flicked her hair over her face. “I have a truck full of your shit I was going to haul to Kage’s for you, but we’re all going to the bar for a drink first. Lance is buying.”

  “The hell I am. Last time I offered, I ended up buying everyone’s dinner too.” Lance unzipped the leg on his coveralls. “It’s Janie’s turn.”

  She grinned at the use of her nickname. “Fine. I’ll buy.”

  Kage nuzzled her neck. “I’ll buy.”

  “I got it covered.” She squirmed when he licked her under the ear. “I’m loaded.”

  He stiffened.

  She sat straighter, dropping her arms. “What?”

  “Meeting. Now,” he announced to everyone, standing her up.

  He walked over to the wall, pushed the buttons for all three bay doors to close, and whistled loudly to gain everyone’s attention. Sabrina walked toward Jane, and she shrugged at the questioning look.

  Kage returned to the group. “Jane’s still got the money.”

  “Shit. How did we forget about that?” Tony ran both hands through his hair.

  Lance shook his head, leaned against the bench, and crossed his boots. “We let ourselves lose our heads. She’s one of our own.”

  Warmth flooded her. She was back in, and they claimed her.

  “If we turn the money in that implicates Jane more, even though I don’t think it’ll matter when it comes time for the trial. They have enough on Carson to send him away,” Garrett said.

  Kage shook his head. “The money isn’t Carson’s, though. We know who the money belongs to. Darrell won’t let her walk off free to spend what is his. You turn it in, and he’ll still come after Jane. He won’t want the shields involved.”

  “What do you suggest?” Tony brushed his hair off his forehead. “You’re not thinking of walking in and handing it back to your uncle. That’s suicide, man.”

  “No one is asking me, and I won’t let Kage have the money. He’s no longer involved.” Jane wrapped her arm around Kage’s waist. He raised his brows. She shook her head, stopping him from talking. “I’ll mail it to him.”

  Lance laughed, then quickly stopped when Kage shot him a look, but his lips quivered as he tried not to grin. “Bro, it’s not a bad idea.”