Jaded (Rock Star Trilogy)

by Amare, Mercy

  “It's still nice to hear it out loud.” I never once look away from his lips, which are literally inches from mine.

  “No matter what I feel, I'm not going to tell you after knowing you four days.”

  “I've told you more about me in these four days than I've ever told anybody else.” It's the truth. I've never been close to anybody, at least not since Stacy ran away.

  “I at least have to take you out on a date first. Then I can kiss you.” He pulls back, but I'm actually not disappointed. I smile, and have no idea what to say. Nobody has ever said anything that sweet to me before. I think I can definitely get used to small town guys.

  No, it's not just small town guys. It's Stephan.

  “I think I may be in love,” I joke.

  He laughs. “And I definitely won't say the L word for a really long time.”

  “Are you scared of love?”

  “No,” he shakes his head. “I'm just realistic. I won't say it until I'm one hundred percent certain that it's true. I don't think the word should just be thrown around. It kind of means less if you do.”

  “I've never been in love,” I admit.

  “Me either.” He hesitates, then says, “Unless you count my car, and I'm definitely in love with my car.”

  I laugh, thankful that the subject was lighter. “You have a serious problem.”

  “You're telling me. There is this blonde rock star who won't leave me alone. Seriously. I think she's stalking me.”

  “I can leave,” I say, getting up.

  “NO!” He pulls me back down onto his bed. “I kind of like that you're always around.”

  “You should! You invited me!”

  He shakes his head. “No, my stepbrother did, and then my mom asked you to stay.”

  “And what if they wouldn't have asked me to come over?” And I am officially one of those girls. You know, the kind who fishes for compliments.

  He smiles. “Well, I guess I would just have to ask you myself.”

  It took everything in me not to let out a girly squeal when he said that. Wow. Could Stephan Montgomery be anymore perfect?

  Probably not.

  7:00 pm

  Dinner with the James's.

  When I was invited to dinner, I expected take out – pizza, Chinese food, maybe even Indian food. What I did not expect is an actual home cooked meal. I don't think I've had one of those... ever.

  Spread out across the table is true southern comfort food – fried chicken, mashed potatoes (or taters at Stephan's mom calls them), cornbread, and gravy. I'm also pretty sure there is nothing on this table that my nutritionist would approve of. I decide that this weekend, I'm getting a gym membership.

  “Wow, Mrs. James, this looks amazing,” I compliment her, as she hands me a huge plate of food.

  “Call me Sarah.” She winks.

  Stephan's mom is cute. She looks like somebody you would see on The Real Housewives of New Jersey, but she has real southern charm. It was a weird combination. I could even hear a little bit of a southern accent, if I wasn't mistaken.

  “Where are you from, Sarah?” I ask.

  “I'm from Atlanta. I moved here when I married Stephan's father,” she answers proudly. “What about you darling? You always live in Los Angeles?”

  I shake my head. “I'm actually from Seattle. I moved to California when I was 10. I think I like it here the best though. It's nice to get away from the big city.”

  “What made you choose Hope?” she asks.

  I feel my face grow warm. I chose it simply because of the name – Hope. I haven't had hope in a long time. But I'm certainly not going to say that to her.

  “I threw a dart at a map,” I joke.

  Everybody laughs and thankfully that is the end of that conversation.

  I enjoy every moment of my dinner with Stephan's family. His step dad isn't there, but I figured he was working late. I couldn't remember the last time I ate dinner with my parents, and we never ate at home. My dad likes me to be seen in public as often as possible. He isn't happy unless I grace the cover of all the gossip magazines, and tabloids. Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like to have normal parents. But, that isn't going to happen.

  After dinner, Stephan walks me home. He kisses me on my cheek. It is the best kiss I have ever received. And I actually go to bed at a decent time. I am very much looking forward to the next day.

  Friday, September 11

  7:00 am

  Good Distractions.

  I wake up with Friday by Rebecca Black stuck in my head. Seriously, it is the most annoying, yet oddly catchy song in the history of music.

  I quickly get up, and get ready for the day. I'm excited because, today IS FRIDAY, which means the races are tonight. I'm more than excited about it. I have no idea what I'm going to wear, but I decide I will stress about that after school.

  I ride with Stephan again, which is quickly becoming part of my normal routine.

  “You look good,” he says, looking at my legs. Today, I'm wearing a short jean skirt.

  “I'm up here.” I try to sound offended, but I'm mostly turned on. I like it when Stephan looks at me like that. I will wear short skirts everyday as long as he continues.

  “I'm pretty sure you're down there too.”

  I try not to laugh, but I can't help it. “Oh my god, Stephan, you are my favorite person. Seriously.”

  He smiles, and I swear I feel my stomach drop all the way down to my feet. “The feeling is mutual.”

  Deep breath, Scarlett.

  WOW.

  Yeah, I'm pretty sure I like Stephan a 100 times more now.

  “You ready for the races tonight?” he asks.

  I nod, still trying to catch my breath.

  “Wear something sexy. It'll distract the other drivers,” he winks.

  “Will it not distract you?” I flutter my eyelashes at him.

  He thinks for a second. “On second thought, you should probably wear baggy sweat pants and a t-shirt.” He pauses. “Actually, you'd still be distracting. You're just too damn hot.”

  “Ok, well I'll do my best to look hideous.”

  “Hey, I don't mind being distracted. You're a good distraction. If I crash and die, I will die happy.”

  I put on my best serious face. “Don't crash your car before I get a chance to drive it.”

  “It's a good thing you're pretty, cause if you weren't, I'd make you walk home from school today,” he says, as he pulls his car into an empty spot.

  “So what if I didn't have my looks anymore? Like maybe my face gets burnt in a fiery explosion...”

  He shakes his head sadly, “I'd have to dump you.”

  I laugh, because I know he's joking. “You know, Stephan, we actually have to be dating for you to dump me. And I'm pretty sure you've never asked me to be your girlfriend.”

  “That hurts, babe.”

  I roll my eyes and get out of his car, laughing the whole time.

  12:03 pm

  I just want you for your body

  At lunch, I get a call from Alec, so I decide to skip lunchroom drama and just talk to him instead.

  “Hey, gorgeous,” Alec greets me.

  “ALEC! I seriously miss you!”

  “Me too,” he says sadly. “But hey, I'm coming next week! I'm going to hand deliver your car.”

  I let out a squeal. “Oh my gosh! I can't wait! Seriously.”

  “I should be there Friday, so don't make plans! You're mine the whole weekend.”

  “I actually have plans on Friday night,” I say. “But you're totally invited!”

  He laughs. “Do you already have a high school boyfriend?”

  “No,” I say quickly, then add, “Not yet.”

  “Yet?” I can practically see him rolling his eyes through the phone. “Tell me about him.”

  I sigh dreamily. “Oh, Alec, he's amazing. You will love him. He's super hot. But he's so much more than just a pretty face, and nice body. He makes me laugh. He actually listens to
me. He doesn't like me because I'm Scarlett Ryan, Rock Star. He likes me because I'm Scarlett Ryan, Person.”

  “I can't wait to meet him! And if he breaks your heart, tell him that I will hurt him.”

  I laugh, because Alec is small. “He's twice your size!”

  “Fine. I'll have my bodyguard hurt him. But hey, I have to go. I can't wait to see you next weekend!”

  “Me too! Love you!”

  “You too.”

  I hang up, and jump when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around to see Stephan standing there. I feel my face turn red. “How long have you been standing there?”

  He smiles. “Long enough to know that I'm hot, but so much more than that.”

  “Gah!” I want so badly to hide my face.

  “I can't believe it. Scarlett Ryan has a crush on me!” He jokes with me.

  A crush? Really? Is this what a crush feels like?

  “Please. I just want you for your body. What I feel for you is strictly lust,” I say, looking him up and down very slowly. His jeans are tight today, and I like them.

  My phone vibrates in my hand, and I look down to see Andrew Davis, my P.I., calling.

  “I have to take this.” I turn and walk away from him. I don't want anybody to hear this conversation. I'm not sure why I don't, I just don't want him to think that it's stupid, trying to find Stacy.

  “Hello,” I answer.

  “Hey, Miss Ryan. I have some good and bad news for you. But I think we need to have this conversation in person,” he says. “Are you in LA?”

  “No, I'm in Hope, Florida.”

  “Oh,” he hesitates. “Well, I'll be getting on a plane. Can I meet you tomorrow morning?”

  “Yeah. I'll email you my address.”

  “Ok. See you then.”

  I click end on my phone just as the bell rings. I don't have time to think about the conversation we just had.

  8:55 pm

  First date.

  The races don't start until 11 that night, but Stephan wants to take me out to eat before the races. He says that this definitely counts as our first date (which means he can finally kiss me). I am definitely ok with that.

  “You look beautiful,” Stephan tells me as I open the door.

  Tonight, I am wearing a short white dress. It does look good. It hugs me in all the right places and it shows a lot of leg, which I know Stephan likes. I'm also wearing a pair of four inch, hot pink stilettos, so my butt looks awesome.

  “Thanks,” I smile. He's wearing a pair of dark denim jeans. They're tight, just like I like them, and he's wearing a white, button up shirt, with a black dinner jacket. He's wearing his black Chuck Taylor's, which is what he always wears. “You look pretty hot yourself.”

  We walk out to his car, and he opens the door for me to get in.

  “You're spoiling me,” I tell him as I get inside.

  “You deserve it, Scarlett,” he says, shutting the door.

  As he walks around the car, I can't help but let out a little squeal.

  I know I say 'wow' a lot, but WOW. I can't get over how extremely wonderful and perfect Stephan is! He is seriously raising the bar when it comes to guys I date. No guy will ever be able to measure up.

  He gets in the car, and starts it up. He looks over and smiles. “Wow. I'm taking Scarlett Ryan on a date.”

  I laugh. “If you're nice, maybe I'll let you take me on a second date.”

  On the way to the restaurant, Stephan asks me a ton of questions. It is nice, somebody actually trying to get to know me, and not just dating me for the publicity.

  “When is your birthday?” he asks.

  “July 27.”

  “Leo?”

  I nod. “Yep.”

  He laughs. “Figures. It must why you're so stubborn.” He doesn't give me time to ask him a question before he starts asking me more questions. “Favorite band or singer?”

  “That changes daily,” I answer. “Today it's Ke$ha, yesterday was Scissor Sisters, tomorrow who knows?”

  “Ke$ha?” He crinkles his nose. “Have you ever met her?”

  “Just in passing,” I say. “Music awards, and other red carpet events. She's kind of weird, but that is why I like her music. It's unique.”

  “Well, I suppose I should be glad you didn't say Justin Bieber.”

  “He's really talented,” I defend him. “I have a few of his songs on my iPod.”

  Actually, I have them all, but I don't tell him that.

  “Do you ever listen to me?” I ask him.

  “I have your album, Jaded,” he admits. “But that's the only one.”

  I smile. “That one is my favorite. It was the first CD I ever released.”

  “How does it feel to have all your dreams come true?”

  I think for a minute. “Well, at first, it is amazing. People paying money to see me perform, asking for my autograph, taking my picture... It feels surreal. But then people start telling you what to do, and you have an image to keep up.” I shake my head. “Then you realize, your dream... it's... not at all what you pictured. I get sick of people telling me that I'm too fat, too thin, or that my boobs aren't big enough... You know my record company won't even let me dye my hair. It's in my contact. I feel like I have no control over my life. THAT is why I'm taking a break.”

  “I think your boobs are fine.”

  I throw my head back and laugh. “Wow, out of all of that, that is all you got out of it?”

  “What can I say? I'm a guy, and you do have nice boobs.”

  “Tell me, how are you single? You should have all the girl's swooning,” I joke.

  “You think I say this to all the girls?” He shakes his head. “No way, only you babe.”

  “So, Stephan, tell me... What is your dream?”

  “I don't know yet,” he answers. “I'll let you know when I figure it out.”

  11:15pm

  Isn't this... illegal?

  After eating dinner, we head to the west side of town. It looks completely different from the east side. The houses are all older, and there is graffiti on the bridges. It doesn't at all look like the same town. I see a group of guys standing on the side of the road by the stop light and I reach up to lock my door. Stephan sees me and laughs.

  “Just because this is the poor side of town doesn't mean it's dangerous. Not every poor person wants to rape you,” he says, clearly amused at my discomfort.

  I roll my eyes. “I know that. I'm just being cautious.”

  “I'm surprised you came here without your bodyguard.”

  “Ha ha,” I said, not finding his statement funny at all. “You think I like having a bodyguard? I'd like to go out in public without the risk of getting mauled by fans.”

  “Really, Scarlett, are you surprised that you showed up at Hope, Florida and people freaked out? Our town is small. 20 thousand people. It's not like we have celebrities walking around here everyday.”

  “You didn't seem surprised,” I comment.

  “That's because I don't see you as a rock star.”

  “You and Ethan seem to be the only ones.”

  “Maybe we know what it's like to be treated like an outsider.”

  I sigh. “What do you mean by that? What happened to you? And why does Mona hate you and Ethan?”

  “I don't want to talk about it, Scar.” I can hear the sadness in his voice. “But I promise, someday, I will tell you. Just... not yet.”

  “Ok.”

  I knew that it was the end of the conversation for now. I was dying to know what happened, but I wasn't going to push him. Everybody has secrets. Like me, trying to find Stacy. Nobody but me and Andrew knows.

  My mind went to our conversation earlier. He said he had good and bad news. What could he not tell me over the phone? I feel my stomach clinch up.

  What if she's dead?

  No. No. She's NOT dead. I could not think that. Stacy was very much alive. If she wasn't, he wouldn't have said he had “good” news. Because finding my sister dead
would not be good news.

  I push it to the back of my mind. I would know soon enough what the news was. Early tomorrow, Andrew would be at my home. Until then, I would enjoy my first date with Stephan.

  We go a little out of town, and down a few back roads. Finally we park on the side of the street. There are probably about 40 cars all parked along the side of this random back road. A lot of nice cars are out here, some not so nice. Everybody is crowded along the side of the street.

  I look for the track.

  “Where do you race?” I ask.

  Stephan points at the road in front of us.

  “But this is a public street. Isn't this... illegal?”

  “Are you scared?”

  I shake my head quickly, and I realize that I'm not. In fact, I'm kind of excited.

  Plus, it's not like this is the first illegal thing I've done.

  Stephan and me walk up to a group of people. I recognize some of them from Tuesday. Ginny and Britney are both there, along with the brunette girl who waved the flag. I never actually got to meet her.

  “Scarlett!” Ginny is excited to see me. She looks nice. He once orange hair is now blonde, which I must admit fits her much better.

  “Hey, Ginny. Love the hair,” I comment. She smiles.

  “Wait... Scarlett?” the flag girl says. “As in Scarlett Ryan?”

  Stephan puts his arm protectively around me. “Yes she is Scarlett Ryan, but shut up, Zoe. Seriously, don't draw attention to her.”

  “Are you trying to tell me that the Scarlett Ryan is hanging out with you,” she half laughs. “What the hell are you even doing in Hope, Florida?”

  I want to slap this girl. I don't like her. I grab Stephan's hand, and see her flinch. I finally get it. She likes him.

  “And Stephan, what are you thinking? Bringing her here. If we get caught out here, we are all in deep shit. She's just going to draw attention,” she rolls her eyes.

  I look at Stephan, who now looks mad. “If you have a problem with Scarlett being here, then maybe you should leave.”

  Stephan pulls me closer, and I shoot her a smile that says fuck off, bitch. He's mine. And then we leave his friends behind.

  “So, is it always this crazy?” I ask.