Mia's Heart

by Courtney Cole

  I stare at him now. At his handsome face and his white smile. But now, all of a sudden, I don’t see him as a heart-stoppingly sexy guy. I see him as my good friend. That is immediate and apparent. He is and always will be my friend. It’s like my heart turned a complete one-eighty. I can’t help how I feel. And just like I was afraid of, my memories have changed everything.

  Gavin stares back.

  “Do you remember me?” he asks quietly.

  I nod.

  And his expression falls.

  “Hey,” Quinn yells from the stable door. “Mia! Are you okay?”

  My head snaps up and my eyes meet his.

  And he rushes toward me.

  But Gavin stands up and all of a sudden, his frustration with the situation has a target. A target who doesn’t deserve it, but is a target nonetheless.

  Quinn.

  Gavin rushes at him with an aggression that I’ve never seen in him. Quinn startles as he realizes what is going on and then he does the only thing he can do.

  He defends himself. He braces himself for impact.

  Gavin plows into him and slams him to the ground.

  Quinn’s head whips back and I hear it crash into the ground with a sickening thud. My stomach clenches at the sound. He hits hard. And then Gavin punches him. Hard. I can hear his knuckles smash into Quinn’s cheek.

  And then Quinn roars like a lion.

  He throws Gavin off, and Gavin tries to come back for more. Quinn is able to hold him at bay.

  “You don’t want to do that,” Quinn says. I think he’s pretty calm, considering the situation. His lip is split and it is bleeding. And I know he’s holding back. He’s not thrashing Gavin the way he could.

  “You don’t know what I want,” Gavin snaps.

  “Oh, I do know,” Quinn says. “And I’m sorry that you can’t have her.”

  And then Gavin punches at him again. But this time, Quinn catches his fist in his large hand and squeezes, forcing Gavin away. But Gavin won’t give up. He brings his knee up and slams it into Quinn’s gut. I hear the air whoosh out.

  And suddenly, Quinn has had enough.

  He punches Gavin. Hard. In the face.

  Gavin flies backward into the dirt. And he lays there, still.

  I find my wits now and rush to him.

  “Are you alright?” I shake his shoulder. He’s dazed, but he opens his eyes. “Gavin, are you okay?”

  I am panicked now. Blood seems to be everywhere. His hand is bleeding, his nose. I twist around and see that Quinn’s face is streaming blood, too.

  This can’t be happening.

  OhMyGod.

  “Gavin?” I say, and my voice is shaky. “Can you hear me?”

  He actually smiles for a second, but then he turns serious.

  “Of course I can hear you. I’m not deaf.”

  He pushes me off of him and he gets to his feet.

  He stares down at me.

  “This isn’t the right decision, Mia,” he tells me. And then he walks away before I can even answer.

  Quinn takes a step and offers me his hand.

  “Are you okay?” he asks me. And I have to laugh at that. He’s got blood streaming everywhere and he’s asking me if I’m okay.

  “I’m fine,” I tell him. “How about you?”

  He touches his cheek gingerly and I see that his hand is swollen already. I start to grab it, but restrain myself. I don’t want to cause him more pain.

  “Oh my god, I think your hand might be broken,” I tell him worriedly. He nods.

  “I’m pretty sure it is. Don’t worry about it. It won’t be the first time.”

  I stare at him.

  “Do you get in fights often?”

  He grins his crooked grin.

  “Did I forget to mention that’s one of the things Americans like to do?”

  “You like to get into fights?” I’m incredulous. He smiles, then shakes his head.

  “I’m kidding. But I do live in a small rural town. There’s not much to do, so the majority of us have gotten into a fight or two. What I really meant was that I’ve broken a few bones playing football. It’s okay. I’ll heal.”

  “You need ice,” I tell him as I grab his arm and spin him toward the house. I’m not sure how I know this, but it seems logical.

  He stops.

  “Are you okay?” he asks me quietly. “I heard you. Your memories are back. Do you need to go see a doctor, or…”

  I stare at him in utter disbelief. He’s dripping blood and he’s worried that I’m the one who needs a doctor? I mention the ridiculousness of this to him and he smiles.

  “I’m sorry. I don’t have any experience with this whole amnesia thing. It just makes sense that you would need to see your doctor.”

  I shrug. “Maybe I do, but not as much as you do right now.”

  “I’m fine,” he insists. And as he does, he wipes the blood from his lip. I shake my head.

  “You aren’t fine,” I tell him.

  He ignores that. “What was that even about?” he asks. “What set Gavin off like that?”

  I pause. I don’t have a great answer.

  “I… um. I think that Gavin has tried a very long time to be everything that everyone needs—the perfect son, the perfect friend. He tries very hard to be laid back and easy going. And when I lost my memory, I think he saw an opportunity to be part of a relationship with someone who understands what it is like to be with someone like him--- we have the same social pressures. But tonight, he knew that wasn’t going to happen. And I think that everything just sort of exploded for him. All of his pent up frustrations and whatnot. It didn’t have anything to do with you. Don’t take it personally, although I know that’s hard.”

  Quinn nods, but before he can say anything, I hear voices.

  I turn to find Dante and Reece running toward us.

  “What happened?” Reece breathes as she skids to a stop next to us. “Oh my gosh, Quinn! What the hell? We saw Gavin leave and he was bloody. And you’re bloody….” She trails off and stares. “Holy monkeys. You got into a fight.”

  “Are you alright?” Dante asks quietly. He’s glancing over Quinn, at his split lip and swollen hand. I see now that Quinn’s eye is a bit swollen too. I gulp.

  Quinn nods. “I’m fine, guys. I’ve had worse than this after a game. Trust me.”

  Reece narrows her eyes. “What were you fighting about?” And then she looks at me. I exhale shakily. I’m still feeling nauseas.

  “I remember everything,” I tell her. “Gavin was upset because I was riding Titan with Quinn and for some reason, something triggered my memories and they all came back. And now I think I’m going to throw up.”

  And I do. I barely have time to turn away before I am dropping to my knees and puking my guts up.

  I hear movement behind me and Reece holding my hair back. She pats my back. But it’s Quinn’s voice that murmurs to me that it’s going to be okay.

  I glance back and find that it is Quinn comforting me. Reece is standing a short distance away, looking for all the world like she wants to shove him out of the way and kneel next to me, but she doesn’t. She lets Quinn do it.

  Another wave of nausea floods through me and I throw up again. And then I’m okay. I sit still for a second, then I wipe my mouth and turn around.

  I try to stand up, but my knees are weak. I feel shaky.

  And I grab onto Quinn’s strong arm.

  Instead of helping me up, he just scoops me into his arms.

  He carries me the entire way to the house, up the stairs, down the hall and into my bedroom. My mother’s face is shocked as we pass her in the foyer, and she follows behind with Reece and Dante.

  Quinn sets me on the bed.

  “You’re going to be fine,” he tells me. And I’m not sure if he is comforting me or giving me a directive. But I nod. Either way, he’s right.

  I’ll be fine.

  I know that now.

  Chapter Twenty One

&nb
sp; Reece sits with me for the entire first twenty-four hours. My mother takes the doctor’s order to rest to heart and refuses to let me leave my bed, so my friends come to me. Dante comes to play chess. Quinn comes to chat and bring me coffee. Reece is always here. We look at fashion magazines, do our nails and she flat-irons my hair.

  Gavin doesn’t come.

  I try not to let this hurt. Reece texted him and told him that I’m alright, that my memories have all returned. She relayed what the doctor told us… that my brain has now made a full recovery. She joked with him that I’m still not right in the head, but I’m as right as I ever was.

  He replied that he’s glad I’m okay.

  That was it.

  And that really hurts.

  But I have to try and look at it from his point of view. And when I do that, I feel really sad. Because he was right. It would have been very convenient if we’d have gotten together. And I think his feelings really did change toward me after the accident. I think that New Mia was exciting for him. It was like meeting someone new, yet someone who was familiar and safe. Just like I felt about him.

  Felt.

  Past tense.

  Because those fluttery feelings that I had for both Quinn and Gavin are gone. And they are solely focused on Quinn alone now. Of that, I am certain.

  Everything Quinn does sends my heart into a tail spin. My hormones burst into flame whenever he is near. My heart has clearly decided. But I haven’t told Quinn yet. I’m trying not to be impetuous. New Mia has turned over a new leaf.

  “So,” Reece says as she hands me a hot pink shirt. “New Mia is sticking around?”

  She is trying to hide her surprise, I can tell. She was amazed when I told her that I don’t need to go shopping to replace my new wardrobe with another new wardrobe consisting solely of black.

  I nod. “New Mia is here to stay, with bits of Old Mia thrown in. Old Mia was trying too hard to prove a few points and all she did was piss people off. New Mia has had some revelations.”

  Reece raises a blonde eyebrow. “Like?”

  “Like it’s okay to be agreeable. It’s okay to do things that you don’t really want to do—if those things are helping out people you love. I have to understand that my dad’s job is important and that people watch me. Gavin was right about that—I need to suck it up and do my part. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t do it in my own way. I won’t put my nose-ring back in, but I’m leaving my hair. It’s not hurting anything. I’m compromising on the clothes. I don’t feel the need to wear black, but I’m not wearing beige. Ugh.”

  Reece smiles. “Hot pink is a compromise? And fingerless gloves?”

  I nod. “Yes. I believe those are fair compromises.”

  Reece laughs. “I like New Mia. She’s still pretty kick-ass, too.” But then she gets serious. “What about Quinn?”

  I stare at her. “I like him,” I tell her quietly. “I really like him.”

  She nods. “I know. I can tell. And he likes you too. So what are you going to do about it?”

  I smile. “Well, there’s one thing that New Mia and Old Mia have in common.”

  “And what’s that?” Reece asks.

  “We both work hard to get what we want.”

  Reece laughs at that and I laugh with her.

  “Am I going to have to listen to you refer to yourself in the third person now for all of eternity?” she asks with a grin.

  “Possibly,” I tell her. “I sort of like it. It makes me feel like the Queen of England.”

  Reece rolls her eyes and hands me a pair of jeans.

  “Well, come on, your highness. Get dressed.”

  I pull my pants on and we wind our way down the stairs and into the kitchen. I am surprised to find my mother there, along with Dante. She’s as casual as can be about eating in the kitchen.

  What the hell?

  “Mom?” I look at her in surprise. She’s sitting with Dante, nibbling at a croissant and sipping a cup of coffee.

  She smiles at me and she honestly looks happy.

  My mother.

  Happy.

  It’s a crazy concept, I know.

  But it seems to be true.

  “Don’t look so surprised,” she tells me. “I’m not too old to change, you know. I thought about it a lot last night when I was supposed to be sleeping. You might have been right all along. I was too rigid and set in my ways. Some might even say that I was being a witch.” She pauses here, presumably waiting to have someone refute that. No one does. She sighs. “I’m probably partially to blame for you rebelling so hard. So, I’ve decided to take a page from your playbook and reassess my life. Changes will be made.”

  I’m stunned.

  This is amazing.

  I gulp, then nod.

  “Thank you,” I tell her. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “There’s nothing to say,” she tells me. “Everything will be alright, Mia.”

  And once again, I believe that to be true. Everything really will be okay.

  “Have you seen Quinn?” I ask. My mother nods.

  “He was here for breakfast. I think he went outside.”

  I chat for a moment longer before I go outside to find him. Reece stays inside to talk with my mom and wait for Dante.

  It doesn’t take me long to find Quinn. I just head down to the stables and there he is. He is truly in his element with that horse. That is for sure. I walk up to the fence and call out a good morning. He turns and I inhale sharply. It looks like a truck has hit his face.

  “Holy cow,” I breathe. “Your face.”

  He smiles. “Gee, thanks,” he says. “Just the kind of reaction I was looking for.”

  He’s joking and I smile.

  “Does it hurt?” I ask hesitantly. He rolls the eye that isn’t swollen.

  “It doesn’t feel wonderful. But I’m okay,” he assures me.

  I gaze at him, at his handsome, sexy face that is now swollen and distorted. He smiles. Or I think he does. With his cheek swollen like that, it’s hard to tell. And then he rolls his eye. The un-swollen one.

  “Way to make me feel unselfconscious, tiny tot,” he tells me wryly.

  I wince. “I’m sorry. It just looks painful. I’m so sorry that this happened to you. It’s my fault. That’s what I was coming to say to you. To apologize, I mean.”

  He stares at me like I’ve suddenly grown two heads.

  “The last I knew, Gavin was the one who attacked me,” he tells me. “Not you. So don’t feel guilty at all, Mia. It’s not your fault.”

  “If I hadn’t been so confused, Gavin wouldn’t have felt led on and this entire thing wouldn’t have happened,” I tell him sadly. “It is my fault.”

  He shakes his head. “Well, we’ll have to agree to disagree. But on the off chance that you’re right and this is your fault, there’s something you can do to make it up to me.”