Bishop's Run

by B. D. Gates

  Molly had been nicely surprised to hear from Penny, even more surprised to hear that she was bringing someone with her to visit. She'd always come alone, usually when her mother and father, or she and her mother, were fighting. This farm was her safe haven, her sanctuary, and it had been since she was a little girl. Ernie's, too. The idea that she wanted to share her visit with someone told Molly that this person, this 'Baxter,' was special.

  "Where did you two meet?" asked Molly. She was very aware of Penny's sexual orientation, the young girl having come out to her and Billie after the devastating break-up with Alex.

  "Softball practice," answered Penny. She went on to tell about the 'after-practice' practices, how they'd hit it off. She didn't tell about how she'd picked up Baxter for 'fun', that one night after practice, just that they'd gone out to eat and had found that they enjoyed each others' company.

  Aunt Molly could tell there was more to it than what Penny was letting on, she was 'crazy', not stupid.

  "Well, she's a cute one, that's for sure," Molly remarked.

  Penny nodded. "Smart, too."

  "Oh, well, that always helps," laughed Molly.

  "And sweet, and kind, and aggravating, and frustrating. But she's gotten better about the last two. I think sometimes she does things just to piss me off."

  "Yeah, well, they'll do that," agreed Molly, as she headed towards the kitchen to check on the biscuits. "Half the time, when I first met Billie, I didn't know whether I wanted to kiss her or kill her."

  Those words, coming from her aunt, made Penny drop one of the pieces of tableware that she had taken from the silver keep, the clang of the cutlery ringing in her ears along with her aunt's words.

  "Careful, sweetie, that silver was your grandmother's. What did you drop--a knife or a fork?" asked Molly.

  "Fork," replied Penny. "Why?"

  "Oh, it's just an old wives' tale. Your grandmother, very superstitious about such things, once told me that a dropped fork means a woman is coming to visit."

  "Oh! Oh, god...no," thought Penny.

  Lunch was excellent. Penny was right, Molly's roast did melt in your mouth, and we all took second helpings of everything. Molly served dessert, a triple-layer chocolate cake, with coffee and, by the time we had finished all that we could, I thought I'd bust.

  Billie was a character. She told us stories of growing up in Tenley, how she'd met Molly, and playing softball before girls sports were made 'equal' by Title IX. Billie had been kicked out of her house by her parents when she was sixteen, much like Jacks. She was taken in by the high school girls' coaches, floating between their houses, sleeping on their sofas and living out of a canvas duffel bag. She graduated high school because the coaches saw to it, and only when Billie was older did she realize that those coaches had risked their jobs for her, given that they were both lesbians and were technically harboring a minor.

  46

  We were quiet on the way back to Tenley. I was glad that tonight was an 'off' night as far as softball was concerned. Penny decided to stay at my house since I had the early morning weekend duty at the animal hospital. We sat on the back steps while the dogs wandered about, then went inside to catch the news before going to bed.

  About ten o'clock, my flip phone chimed, an incoming call. I looked at Penny. She looked back at me, a look on her face, as if she'd expected it. She knew who it was, just like I did.

  "Answer it."

  "What if I just let it go to voice mail?"

  "Does that phone even have voice mail?"

  I honestly did not know.

  "For god sake, Baxter, just answer it and see what she wants."

  I flipped it open and clicked on the 'send' button. "Hello?"

  "Bishop?"

  I couldn't breathe. A band tightened around my chest when I heard her voice.

  "Bishop? Please don't hang up."

  I couldn't take this call in front of Penny. I got up and walked into the kitchen.

  "What do you want, Tess?" I replied flatly.

  "I, I want to tell you...I'm so sorry, Bishop. I made a terrible mistake."

  "Okay..."

  "I just wanted to tell you that, and that...oh, Bishop," she sighed, "I miss you."

  I could hear the tears in her voice. I didn't know what to say. I had come so far, it had taken me so long to shake the loss of her, and I didn't know what direction I needed to go in to save myself from that heartache again. I'd missed her too, had dreamed of her, but Penny had kept me busy, kept me going, and doing, moving me past that wreck on the side of the road, the one that was my life when Tess had walked out of it.

  I had to consider Penny, too.

  "Tess, I have to go, I have company," I said.

  "Is it Penny?"

  "Tess..." I wasn't going to answer that question.

  "If it's Penny, would you tell her that she was right, about everything?"

  "What?"

  "She'll know what I mean. Tell her she was right and thank her for me, please, Bishop?"

  "Tess, I'm hanging up now."

  "Goodnight, Bishop."

  I clicked off, closed the clam shell. What was she talking about?

  I walked back into the living room. Penny was sitting against the corner of the couch with her legs drawn up, arms around her knees, head down.

  "I dropped a fork today."

  "What?"

  What the hell was wrong with these women tonight, they were both talking in riddles.

  Penny still had her head down. "I dropped a fork. I knew she was going to show up, one way or another."

  I sat down on the couch next to her, pulled the light throw over the both of us. I snugged up against her, put my arm around her shoulders.

  "What are you talking about?" I reached under the blanket and took her hand, held it.

  "It's an old wives' tale that Aunt Molly told me about. I dropped the fork and she said we'd have a woman visitor soon. I knew you'd hear from her."

  I considered that. Hard to believe in such a thing until it happens.

  "Okay, Penny, so she called. No big deal."

  Penny looked up at me, scanned my face for signs that would confirm or deny that statement. I let her look.

  "Now, can I ask you something?"

  She nodded.

  "Tess said to tell you that you were "right, about everything" and to "thank you." Can you tell me what that means?"

  "Oh, Baxter, I...I was just trying to help. That's all. About a week after I'd told you to call her, like we'd talked about that night at dinner, I saw her in Whitmore. Eating at Lin's. So, I went in and sat down at the table with her and told her that you missed her, that she needed to call you. That was over a month ago. Time went by and she didn't call, and I figured that my seeing her hadn't made any difference, that she wasn't coming back. So, I didn't tell you. I didn't want to bring her up, because you were getting better. I was afraid that if I did tell you, and she still didn't call, you'd go back down that rabbit hole and I wouldn't be able to get you out."

  I was quiet as I considered what she'd said.

  Penny sniffed. I looked over and saw a single tear falling from the corner of her eye. I leaned over and softly kissed it away.

  "Oh, Baxter..."

  "Penny, don't cry, please, I don't think I could bear it."

  "I just, Bax, oh, I don't know...it's been a long day."

  "Yeah, honey, it has, and I am so glad I got to meet your Aunt Molly and Billie. I really am. Thank you for taking me out there." I was recalling my conversation with Billie, her telling me that Penny had not brought anyone else out there to meet them. In fact, come to think of it, Penny hadn't dated anyone else in the last few weeks, maybe longer.

  "You're welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed it."

  I pulled her tight against me. I kissed her, one soft kiss, on her temple, then rested my head against hers. We sat like that, quiet, warm, as the sports report played softly in the background. Penny had indeed pulled me from the rabbit hole that was my life aft
er Tess left, while I had broken through the fence she had put up around hers, keeping out anyone who could hurt her.

  We went to bed that night, slept wrapped in each others' arms, exhausted from the events of the day. I woke up some time later, to Penny saying my name, holding me, waking me up.

  "What is it?" I asked.

  "You must have been having a bad dream," she answered. "Do you remember any of it?"

  "No..."

  She was quiet for a minute, then "Can I ask you something?"

  "Okay."

  "Are you still in love with her?"

  I was silent. I couldn't answer that question. I had only recently discovered that reality, that I loved Tess, that I was 'in love' with her. "Penny..."

  "I need to know, Baxter."

  "Penny, now?"

  "Bax...just, tell me."

  "Honestly, I don't know. That's the only answer I can give you right now."

  Penny didn't get upset. Not that I could tell, anyway. She nodded her head, then pulled me up against her, wrapping her arms around me as I held her in mine. We went back to sleep.

  47

  The alarm went off at seven, and I dressed to head over to the animal hospital. I left Penny sleeping in my bed, pulling the covers up around her as I kissed her goodbye. She murmured "be careful" as I walked out to the kitchen. I fed my crew, then headed for work.

  I was spraying off the outside portions of the kennels when I saw her long shadow, cast from the still-low morning sun, falling ahead of her as she walked around the building from the front parking lot. I was not surprised. After the call last night, I knew it wouldn't be long before she'd turn up. Better here, I supposed, than at the carriage house. Tess turned the corner carrying a to-go tray with two cups of coffee and a bag. I turned off the spray.

  "Hey," she said.

  "Hey."

  "I brought some breakfast. Do you have time to take a break?"

  I thought, for a split second, about saying 'no,' then I thought about Penny's questions in the dark last night. I would not be able to honestly answer her if I never spoke to Tess again. I needed to see her, talk with her face-to-face, to answer that question of whether I was still in love with her.

  "Sure. Okay. Meet you at the front."

  I quickly washed my hands, then went up front and unlocked the door for her, locking it back when she came in. We weren't officially open and I didn't need any clients coming in thinking that we were.

  I turned and looked at her. She was looking at me, trying to read my face.

  I've played enough cards in my time to be absolutely emotionless, and I was that way now. I wanted to know why Tess was here, why she wanted to see me, what had changed her mind after all this time.

  Tess couldn't get a read and that threw her. She was a little overly animated, smiling a little too much. I had made her nervous. I wasn't looking to hurt her.

  I smiled a small smile.

  "Well, breakfast. That's really nice, thank you. Here, come on, let me get a towel, we can set up in the exam room."

  Tess followed me in and I went and grabbed a pack of surgical towels off the shelf in the cabinet in the supply room. On my way back, I pushed one of the rolling stools from the lab area into the room, leaving Tess the stool that was already there. Once everything was set out, we had a nice little picnic going. I laughed in spite of myself.

  Tess looked at me, puzzled.

  I explained. "The one thing we've always been good at is eating together."

  Tess laughed at that, nodded her head.

  The ice was broken.

  Tess knew how I took my coffee, knew that I preferred bacon to sausage on my egg and cheese biscuit, and my meal reflected that she'd remembered. We each took a few bites, not quite sure how to start this conversation.

  I turned the stool and leaned back against the wall as I sipped my coffee. Tess was having a hard time looking at me, not quite coming up to meet my eyes.

  "So, how are Bert and Ernie?" I asked. Might as well start with the generalities.

  "Detectives Whyte and Fowler are fine, busy." Tess replied. "We've all been really busy lately."

  "Did you ever have any luck with the tool shed break-ins?"

  "No, we haven't had one in over a month. We never caught a break."

  "Well, damn."

  "That's what I said. How are the girls, and Smokey?"

  "Oh, they're fine, silly as always."

  "And Miz Maggie and Jared?"

  "Good as well."

  "That's good."

  There was a pause.

  "We've got a game at two today," I offered up.

  "You play the Falcons."

  "Yeah," I said, somewhat surprised.

  "I'm still following the team," Tess explained. "I may not be watching the games, but I am reading the stats in the paper. You're doing very well. Did you know that you're in the running for 'Best Fielder'?" It was in yesterday's paper."

  "No, seriously? I had no idea. I didn't even know they did that."

  "Your girl is up for 'Best Hitter'."

  "Well, now, that I'd believe," I said, grinning.

  Tess was looking at me as I replied, gave me a small smile.

  There was another bit of a pause in the conversation.

  "So...Tess, I have to ask. Why the call, after so long?"

  She took time, considered her answer. I watched her face, her emotions fluttering across it while she gathered her thoughts.

  "Bishop, I knew that if I didn't at least talk to you, see you, to tell you I was sorry, to tell you...I would always wonder."

  "Wonder. Wonder what?"

  "If you love me, ever thought of loving me, as much as I love you."

  My heart stopped. I froze.

  "Tess..." I finally managed to whisper. I couldn't breathe. My face was red, burning, as my brain replayed her words.

  She was looking at me, gauging my reaction to her question, taking my distress as an answer in itself. Sadness flashed across her face, before she managed a small, painful smile. "It's okay, you don't have to answer that. I...know you're with Penny, and that's...that's good. She's tough, and I kind of envy her. She's got balls, I guess you'd say."

  I was nodding my head. Penny doesn't take any shit. Then again, neither does Tess.

  So, I like my girls a little hard-ass. Sue me.

  She sighed, and her voice was quiet, soft, as she gazed down at the table. "I thought about you, Bishop, I thought about you and about us and the time we spent together, and...and I fell for you, I fell for the thought of you, of us, and I wanted to tell you, and then it seemed like everything went sideways all at once...but I never meant to hurt you, ever. This is all on me, Bishop, it's all because of me, and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, really, for...for all of this."

  She stood up, paused, looked at me and nodded, gave me a weak smile, then walked out the exam room door. I wasn't ready for her to leave, to go, before I could say what I wanted to say.

  I followed her out to the reception area. She turned to me, put her hand on my arm, then gently pulled me away from the window and into her arms, hugging me tight. I smelled her perfume, so familiar to me as I hugged her, too. She leaned back and looked into my eyes, gently brushed her fingers through my hair.

  "Bishop," she whispered.

  "Tess," I whispered back. The words were there, right there, but I didn't say them.

  She held my gaze, my eyes on hers, then let me go, unlocked and opened the door, softly closed it behind her. I moved to the door, watched her walk to her car, get in.

  There was still time. I could stop her.

  Tell her.

  I leaned against the door, laid my head against the cool wood, the tears slipping from my eyes as I heard her car pull out of the parking lot.

  *****

  Tess drove away from Dr. Biggs' office knowing that she'd done what she had to do to get past Bishop. She'd told her everything. She hadn't gotten the response that she'd hoped for, but she'd known that there had a
lways been that possibility, that Bishop didn't love her, didn't feel the same for her. The tears fell, but they were as much in relief as they were in heartache. Her admission, that she loved Bishop, was 'out there', in the Universe, and Tess felt a thousand times lighter after releasing it.

  She could breathe again.

  She could move on.

  48

  I was in the kennels, feeding up, when I heard Dr. Biggs calling my name.

  "I'm in here, in the kennel," I answered.

  Dr. Biggs joined me, setting off a clamoring of barking as the kennel residents spotted her.

  "Can you come to my office when you get through?" she asked over the noise.

  "Yes, ma'am."

  I finished feeding and washed up, then headed for the office.

  She was looking at something on her computer monitor. I knocked on the door jamb, and she looked up, motioned me towards the chair across from her.

  "I'm on a call with Carole.”

  “Good morning, Baxter,”Carole called from the computer speakers.

  “Good morning, Carole,” I replied as I took my seat.

  Dr. Biggs leaned back in her chair and looked at me. “So, you had company this morning."

  "Yes, ma'am."

  "I know we're in the office, but there's no one here, you can call me 'Sharon.' Relax, Baxter, you're not in trouble. I came by earlier, saw Tess' car, took care of some other errands before I came back, to give you two some time. I'm only asking as a friend, and you can certainly tell me that it's none of my business, I just want to know if you're okay."

  I sighed, shaking my head as I looked down at my lap. "Yeah...no...but I will be."

  "So you two were able to resolve your issues." It was a statement, not a question.

  "Well, not exactly, Sharon," I shook my head as I looked over at her. "She told me she's in love with me, she wanted to know if I love her, and I didn't tell her how I felt. I mean, I wanted to, I just couldn't get the words out. Penny told me at the start of the season that she thought Tess was crushing on me, but I just thought Penny was trying to rag me, that she was making it up."