Glimmer (Faylinn #4)

by Mindy Hayes

  So, what was I supposed to do? Was I supposed to forget about Lia? Just go back to my life like I hadn’t fallen in love again. Who cares what the human wants? His battles aren’t as significant to fight. Was I being selfish? Yes. I wasn’t blind. This was a secret that needed to be kept, but I’d lost too many people in my life. My mom and Calliope were enough. I was supposed to lose Lia now, too? When was I allowed to keep just one piece of happiness?

  “And what about your dad?”

  “You know we don’t have the best relationship. I might as well have lost him at the same time my mom left. He won’t miss me. And if I become a faery, he’ll forget I even existed, right?”

  “There’s no way of knowing, Cam. I’m half and half, so human blood still runs through me. There’s no telling if you’ll have traces of human blood still or if it’ll change you completely. There are too many indefinite variables, and you’re willing to risk it all on the chance that your body may or may not accept the change?”

  Lia’s voice broke through my thoughts. “Calliope has a point, Cameron.”

  My eyes darted to her. How could she side with her? “Then what? You stay faery and I go back without you? Am I crazy for thinking we had something? Am I alone in this?”

  Lia looked like she was about to let me down gently. She opened her mouth to break my heart in two, but Calliope interrupted.

  “Wait. You two?” She pointed back and forth between Lia and me. “You two are a thing now?”

  Lia and I shared a look. Did I imagine that there was something big here? Something with the power to forever change us. Something strong enough to pull me away from my dad, the only family I had left.

  All I did was nod. Lia could deny it if she wanted to, but I knew where I stood and I wanted to fight for it. Lia kept her mouth shut.

  “Wow. I was not expecting that.” Calliope exhaled and walked away from us, her posture tense. From the back I could tell she was pinching the bridge of her nose. This changed everything and we were going to hear all about it.

  “Dang it, Cameron.” She spun around and jabbed her finger at Lia. “And dang it, Lia, for that matter. Why did you have to go and change back? Why would you change back if you wanted to be with him, not knowing if he could change?”

  “I… I…” Lia peered over at me. I nearly told her to just say it already. She didn’t love me back. It would make this decision so much easier. And we could stop being scolded by Calliope. “I didn’t know. I didn’t know I loved him.”

  Everything stopped. She did? She loved me back? A stupid grin plastered across my face. “You love me, huh?”

  Lia shrugged and smiled like she couldn’t help herself. “Yeah, dummy. Don’t make a big deal out of it.” She chewed on her bottom lip.

  “You love each other? Like love, love each other.” Callie looked at us like we’d officially stumped her. The women had dealt with much more complex situations than this, and her two best friends loving each other was what baffled her?

  “I guess so.” I grinned from ear-to-ear.

  Callie wiped both of her hands down her face with a heavy sigh. “How am I supposed to sit here and prevent you from trying to change, when I pushed every boundary I could to keep Kai?” She groaned and looked like she wanted to stomp her foot. It was good to see she still carried some of her old characteristics. “This is the stupidest idea you’ve ever had, Cam. I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all. I hate it. If you die, I will be so mad at you. SO mad.” She scowled, and I knew she meant it. If she knew how, she’d bring me back to life just to yell at me and kill me herself. Heck, I’d be mad at myself. I’d survived two faery battles only to die from some faery blood? That would be the lamest death ever. “But I’m a sucker for love.”

  “Is that a yes?” I asked.

  She held up her hands to keep me from getting my hopes up. “I need to talk to Sarai about it first. I don’t want her thinking I’m going around using the blood however I choose. This needs to be a collective decision. It affects her, too, if you two will be living in Rymidon.”

  “Okay.” I nodded. “I get that. Can we go with you?”

  “I think it’s best if I have this conversation alone. I don’t want her to be swayed one way or another because of your pitiful puppy dog faces.”

  “Hey!”

  Callie laughed. “There are also some other things I want to discuss with her. I’ll be back in a couple hours.”

  After Calliope walked out of the room, leaving Lia and me alone, silence settled between us. Gradually, our gazes met, and, to my surprise, Lia looked nervous. She wasn’t far from me, but too far for my liking. I reached out gently drew her to me by her arm.

  “So, I know I should be scared, and Sarai could say no or I could die, but I have to tell you something.” Slipping an arm around her waist, I lifted the other to her face. “You look pretty hot as a faery.”

  “As opposed to not being a faery?” She raised her eyebrow.

  “Both are favorites,” I clarified. “I can just tell this is your true self. Everything beautiful about you as a human intensified. You’re more confident in this skin.”

  Wait a second. Was she blushing?

  I pressed my nose to hers and closed my eyes, inhaling deeply. Everything about this felt right. I should be scared, but I wasn’t. Something told me Calliope would help me figure it out.

  “I guess since I haven’t said it yet … I love you, too,” she whispered and crushed her lips to mine.

  Chapter Thirty Six

  SARAI

  “And you’re okay with this?”

  “I’m only okay with it if you are.” Calliope stood from sitting on my bed and walked closer to me, sitting on my window seat. “I understand the risks. It puts you in a dangerous position. If anyone finds out what happened, and how Lia was changed back, and how a human changed into a faery … it could cause serious issues. We’ll have to figure out what to tell everyone, but if we get our stories straight, we can make it work. But, again, Sarai, if, for any reason, you are uncomfortable with this, say the word. I will tell Cameron no, and we’ll never talk about it again.”

  The possibilities trickled into my mind. “Calliope, do you realize what else you could do with the blood? Who else you could change if it works?”

  She looked at me, apprehensive, like she was holding her breath. “I’ve thought about it, but I’m terrified to even change Cameron. Even if the transition worked for my mom, I don’t know if living here, allowing her to remember my dad is better than living obliviously without him. She’d have to make that decision. The change would also mean her living longer, and I can’t imagine her falling in love again. So, if she changes, she could live that many more years alone.”

  “But she would have you. Her only family. And when you have children, she’ll get to see her grandchildren grow up. Calliope, you could have it all. You could have both worlds. The last two most important people you left behind.”

  She blinked a couple times. “Are you saying you’re okay with Cameron changing?”

  I scooted over and pulled her to sit beside me. “Calliope, we have both lost and sacrificed so much. If we have the power to give others happiness, why withhold it? If becoming fae will make Cameron happy, will you make you happy, I have no reservations. The scroll has been returned to its rightful owner. The elves have been silenced. If it comes down to it, we’ll get rid of the rest of the blood so it does not fall into the wrong hands. And we will deal with the fallout in our kingdoms if it comes.”

  “There’s no guarantee that we’ll use the right amount of blood. There could be serious side effects if we’re wrong. Worst-case scenario, he dies.”

  “That is up to Cameron, is it not?”

  “He doesn’t have the best decision-making track record. He once rolled down a flight of stairs in a wheelchair just to see if he could do it without falling out.”

  “What’s a wheelchair?”

  “It’s a chair on wheels that’s used to mobilis
e people who can’t walk.”

  “Oh. And did he make it?”

  “No. He broke his right arm. The entire summer between our sophomore and junior years, I had to listen to him complain about how he couldn’t go to the beach or go swimming or do anything with water.”

  It was difficult to hold in my laughter. “I understand your need to protect him, but ultimately, Cameron is the only one who should decide his fate, don’t you think?”

  “What are you going to do about Marcus?” It was as though she didn’t want to hear my approval, so she brought up the one subject I’d intended to avoid.

  “I do not want to talk about him, Calliope.” I hoped my tone would be enough to stop her questioning. The mere sound of his name was an arrow straight through my heart.

  “Just hear me out for a minute, okay?”

  I set my jaw. I did not want to so much as think about him, but I equally wanted to know what she thought was so important for me to hear, what she could possibly say to defend him.

  Calliope waited for me to nod before she proceeded, “Honestly, I’m grateful Marcus made that deal with the elves. If he hadn’t, someone else could have, someone truly evil. Guthron could’ve gotten away with our blood and created a whole new race before we got to them. So many more fae could’ve died.”

  “You’re defending him?”

  She held up her hand as if to fend me off. “What Marcus did was wrong. So wrong. I get that. You have every right to be angry with him, to feel deceived. He lied to you and some of your fae died because of that, but think about it for a minute. His plan was only to get rid of the rest of your father’s followers, making the ones responsible for the war pay. He went about it the wrong way, I know, but his intent wasn’t entirely malicious. He didn’t want innocent faeries to die. If he’d known from the beginning what Guthron had planned, he wouldn’t have joined forces. I believe that.”

  I couldn’t look her in the eye anymore, so I looked out my window, still listening, because I knew she was not finished, nor would she stop until she was.

  “Do you remember when you were trying to convince me that Sakari was a good man? And you told me not everything is black and white?”

  She waited for me to remember the conversation we’d had lifetimes ago in her chambers before they’d bonded. I remembered it vividly. I’d so fiercely wanted her to see the good in Sakari, to grow to love him the way I knew he’d loved her.

  “It’s true,” she continued. “Unfortunately, we deal with a lot of muddled gray areas. Think of the kind of man I once thought Sakari was before I got to know him, and think of the man you knew, the man he actually was.” Her words came crashing down. “Could Marcus have handled the situation differently? Yes. Should he have consequences for his actions? Absolutely. I think he’s dealing with the fallout right now. He lost you.”

  When I peered back at her, Calliope had a knowing look.

  “Marcus had to watch his best friend—a woman he once loved—die in a war he never should have had to fight, in a war forced upon all of us. While I don’t believe vengeance is the answer, I can’t say if Skye was standing in front of me that I wouldn’t kill him myself for taking away Sakari. It wouldn’t bring Sakari back, but at least the person responsible would receive equivalent punishment. If that makes me a terrible faery, so be it.”

  Then it would make me a terrible faery, as well, because I could almost forgive Marcus for letting those men die. Dare I say they’d deserved it if they’d stood behind my father without pause, but this was more. It was personal.

  “Are you saying I am supposed to forgive him? I opened my heart and trusted in him, trusted that he was on my side, and the entire time he was against me. I was beginning to fall in love with him, Calliope! I feel like a fool!”

  Her bottom lip quivered, and she bit it. “I know.” She nodded as tears welled in her eyes. “I shouldn’t defend him, but Marcus didn’t know you when the arrangement was made with Guthron. He was fueled by hate and revenge that dissipated the longer he spent time with you. He got to know you, and you softened his heart.”

  “How do you know that?”

  She ignored my question. In the end, he made the right decision because of you. He owned up to his mistakes. He came clean, and that couldn’t have been easy to do, knowing there was a risk of losing you.”

  I didn’t tell her any of this before, so the only conclusion I drew was that she’d spoken to him.

  “He could’ve let the elves finish what they started, and then fought them on our side, pretending he never had anything to do with them. Instead, Marcus facilitated putting a stop to a nearly fatal catastrophe that would’ve affected our entire race.” Calliope’s hands gently gripped my shoulders. “I’m not telling you to forgive him. If I was in your shoes, I can’t say I would be able to, but at least talk to him. Give him a second chance. You are a better person … err … faery than I am.

  “Have you spoken to him?”

  She looked sheepish. “Marcus may or may not have sought me out before he went back to Oraelia. He knows he doesn’t deserve your forgiveness, but he hoped there was something he could do to make it right, to earn back your trust.”

  “And his plan was to have my sister talk me into it? Very courageous of him.”

  Calliope shook her head. “This is all me. I truly believe he made a split second decision while he was in a bad place, mentally, that got him in over his head, and he didn’t know how to put a stop to it on his own.”

  “If those are his decision making skills, I’m not sure I want someone like him ruling Rymidon beside me.”

  “Maybe not,” Calliope said, thoughtful. “But you’re allowing the elves—the ones who facilitated this attack—to live in Rymidon. You offered them resources and shelter and protection.” She paused. “And yet, you can’t forgive Marcus for lying when he was doing what he thought was just?”

  “That is not fair, Calliope. I made a sacrifice by letting the elves have part of my land. I did that to protect the lives of every other faery, to keep that scroll a secret, to keep it from getting into the hands of any other possible enemy. I showed mercy so we weren’t forced to kill the entire elf race and suffer the consequences.”

  “You’re right.” She nodded with a frown. “You made a split second decision for what you thought was best.” Calliope waited, letting her words penetrate the barrier surrounding my heart. Am I being hypocritical? “Just speak with Marcus. Give him one more chance to explain himself, to ask for forgiveness. Show him mercy.”

  Chapter Thirty Seven

  LIA

  “So…” Calliope scanned the open scroll on her desk. It was a lot bigger than I’d imagined. “The scroll doesn’t tell us the best way to introduce the blood into your veins or how much to use. It does say why they needed the entire body drained. Apparently, there are different cells in the blood stream that needed to be extracted from the blood of the entire body.”

  “The jerks told me the blood was donated,” I muttered. It’d felt wrong when Guthron said it, but I’d wanted to believe it were true.

  Evan, Faylinn’s Officiant and Calliope’s closest confidant, stood behind her. “The purpose of the scroll was not to teach us how to change others. It was meant to provide the Royals with the knowledge that it was possible, but not recommended, due to the risks.” His eyes narrowed on Cameron. “You are aware of the risks.”

  “Yeah, I am. Calliope won’t shut up about them.”

  Evan’s mouth hung open, and his eyes bulged out of his head. He looked like Cameron had just disrespected his mother.

  “It needs to be injected straight into his heart,” I said. “I’m assuming, because it’s the organ that pumps the blood to the rest of the body.”

  “And how did they do that to you?” Calliope looked like she didn’t actually want the answer.

  “You’re not going to like this,” I said to Cameron. “But the fae blood will begin healing you almost immediately.”

  “Oh no,�
� Calliope groaned. “What did they do to you?”

  “They used an instrument that looked like a very large syringe, kind of like when doctors use those adrenaline shots.”

  “And Guthron just stabbed you in the chest?” Calliope scowled.

  “Yeah, pretty much sums it up.” I shrugged.

  “And you let him do that to you?” she screeched.

  “I didn’t have much of a choice, and I’d watched them perform the procedure on another who began healing almost as soon as the blood was in his system, so I knew I would be okay.”

  Calliope folded her arms, her legs spread, taking a superhero stance. “The more I learn, the less I want to let you do this, Cam.”

  “It’s going to be fine, Callie. I think you’re worrying for nothing.”

  “We don’t have a large syringe. I don’t even know how to get something like that.”

  “What’s a syringe?” Kai asked.

  “It’s a tube that has a needle on one end and a plunger on the other that pushes the liquid in the tube through the end of the needle,” Calliope explained.

  “A stellvial?” Evan offered.

  “I’d need to see it to know,” Calliope said.

  Kai made his way to the door of the atrium. “I’ll see if Declan and I can obtain one.”

  “How much blood was used, do you know?” Calliope asked me.

  “I wasn’t counting the ounces or anything. It could have been five or six, maybe? They used double on Tarron, but he didn’t survive.”

  “If you’re going to condone this, you have to give me something better than five or six. Maybe?” Calliope mimicked me. “And a failed attempt amount.”

  “Trust me,” I said through gritted teeth. “I know how crucial it is to get this right. I saw the man before me die, so I’m just as skeptical about this as you are. I’m trying to help.” I took a deep breath to calm down. “It didn’t take gallons. They didn’t do an entire blood transfusion on me. Cameron can’t be much different from me since I was human when they changed me.”