Behind the Lens

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Behind the Lens Page 2

by Heather Dahlgren


  I take a shower getting the sweat of the day off me. I think I sweat more than the models do sometimes. After I wash myself and shave every inch of my body, you never can tell, I get out and wrap myself in the towel. I head to my bedroom to decide what I’m going to wear. It’s hot in California being that it is summer, so I know it will be something light and definitely sexy. Every woman needs to feel sexy every now and again, especially when you haven’t been with a guy in far too long.

  It’s been six months since my ex broke up with me. It happens often; they are all insecure with what I do for a living. No matter how many times I assure them that I would never do anything with my models, they just don’t believe it. I had one boyfriend who actually came in during a shoot, and the model was lying on the bed with nothing on and only a sheet draped over his cock. This asshole sees me standing on the bed taking the pictures and calls me a slut and leaves. I was humiliated to say the least. I am professional, probably to a fault. I don’t see the models the way everyone else does, but I guess some men just don’t understand that. That’s why, for now, I am just having fun until I find someone who understands this is my job, my life, and realizes I would never cross that line. I am single, and even though it would be amazing to have someone, I’m all right with it.

  I pull myself out of my ex-boyfriend thoughts and head over to my walk-in closet. I am so lucky to have found this studio apartment. I was living in a tiny apartment over an antique shop for a while, and having to find places to do shoots was becoming unbelievably hard. I love doing outdoor shoots, but sometimes you need a studio. My brother helped me find this place about six months ago. It is huge with an open floor plan so the living room, kitchen, and dining room are all open to each other. However, off to the right, the person who owned this place before me knocked down a wall to the apartment next door to make the apartment huge. I didn’t need all that space, but I needed a studio, so I hired a contractor and he put the wall back up with a door leading from my apartment to the studio. It was perfect. Now I have my models come here as well as doing outdoor shoots. This apartment also has two bedrooms, one of which is my office, a large bathroom, and this ginormous walk-in closet I’m standing in. I don’t think I’ll ever leave.

  I dig around in the closet for what to wear and stumble across my black dress. Damn, I haven’t worn this in a long time. I pull it out and lay it on the bed. I slip on my black silk panties and matching bra. I walk over to the mirror to do my hair and smile when I see my new tattoo. I only have three right now: my lips on the bottom left of my stomach, actually right at my panty line; a ladybug on my foot, for good luck; and on my right side going from just below my breast to my hip, it reads, “Always Capture The Moment.” I absolutely love it; it is so me. I look back up at my face and shake my head. I have work to do. I pull out my blow dryer and begin the tedious process of straightening my hair. I do have to admit I love my hair; it is blonde with brown lowlights underneath and goes just past my shoulders. Once I finish styling my hair, I pull out my makeup. I put it on a bit darker then I normally would, but hell, I’m going out so I might as well. Once I finish that, I slip into my black dress that is formfitting to my body. I look in the mirror and really like what I see. My hair and makeup are flawless, my size C breasts are showing the perfect amount of cleavage, and my legs look long even though I’m only rocking five feet five inches. I throw on my favorite pair of heels and go into the kitchen to grab a drink before Brinley gets here. As much as I want to get my drink on, I need to eat first, so I just grab a bottle of water. Just as I’m finishing up my water, the front door opens, and Brinley comes walking in looking sexy as fuck.

  “Kallie, you look fuckable.” I grab her and squeeze her tight before letting go.

  “I learn from the best. Congratulations on the cover. I am so damn proud of you. You deserve this.” She gives me her best shy face, but I know she’s full of shit. She loves the compliment. “Can we get the hell out of here? I’m starving, and I’d like to get my drink on.” She high fives me, and we both laugh.

  “Hell yes. How about we grab some Chinese food?” I grab my purse, checking to make sure I have money and my cell phone.

  “Perfect. Let’s go celebrate another huge success in your career.” We walk out the door, and I notice my neighbor. I wave and she gives me a small smile. Some people just don’t know how to interact with other people. Fuck it, it’s party time.

  After Brin and I eat, we head off to the club. Thankfully, it is all within walking distance, so we can get our drink on and have no worries. We pay our cover and head into the club. I look around, feeling the excitement in the air. There are people everywhere, which is exactly how I like it. The club is definitely made up of a mix of people. Just from my first glance around, I’ve seen three of my models, another photographer, and what looks to be college-aged guys. It’s a shame I’m twenty-seven now because they are fucking hot. “Kallie, stop looking for a hook-up, and let’s get a drink.” I laugh but don’t deny it because she’s right. We head over to the bar and both order a shot of vodka and a rum and Coke. The bartender, who is sexy as shit, hands us our shot first, and I hold mine up.

  “To my sexy bitch bestie. May you always continue to find success.” She smiles and we toss back the shots. “How many more of these before I can get you on the dance floor?” She taps her perfectly manicured finger on the corner of her mouth.

  “Since I’m ready to celebrate, I think that’s all I need.” We grab our drinks and make our way to the dance floor. The music is loud; I can feel the bass in my chest as we weave around the crowds of people. Once we find a spot on the dance floor, we both just let the music take over. “Holy shit, Kallie. This is just what I needed. Thanks for coming with me.” I keep dancing but lean in closer so she can hear me.

  “You never need to thank me for supporting you. You are meant to be a success; this is only the beginning.” We continue to dance for a while. Occasionally, we have a guy join us, but mostly it’s just the two of us.

  “Kallie!” I turn my head and see Maxwell. I smile as he bends down to give me a hug.

  “Hey, Max, what are you up to?” He holds up his beer and I laugh.

  “Same here. So what’s new?” He tells me about his last shoot, and how it all went horribly wrong, and because I am on my third drink, I can’t help but laugh.

  “You’re such a bitch. It wasn’t funny. Poison ivy on your balls is no joke.” I almost spit my drink out, and he starts to laugh. “Well, it’s not.” That’s when it happens; he looks over my shoulder and sees Brin. “I need to go. I’ll call you soon.” He heads off, and I spin around and pin her in place with my pissed-off face.

  “What did you do?” She laughs and tosses back the rest of her drink.

  “Don’t be such a tight ass. We screwed around, no big deal.” I shake my head and try to stop her from fucking dancing.

  “Brin, it is a big deal. You can’t keep doing that shit. You are going to fuck the wrong guy, and your career will be over.” She rolls her eyes, and I want to smack the shit out of her. She’s going to screw herself out of her dream. I’ve seen it more times than I care to think about. Sometimes the models do screw around, and that’s fine, it’s their business, but if it starts to turn bad, shit gets ugly. I don’t want to see that happen to her. She doesn’t give a shit right now as she is dancing with another guy; it just went right over her head. I head over to the bar to get another drink and think this is why I’ll never ever cross that line. My dream is finally coming true, and I’m not going to fuck that up for anyone.

  “ALRIGHT, THAT’S THE LAST ONE. Amazing job.” I open my eyes and sit up. “You can go get dressed.” She walks away with her head up her ass. Some photographers just make a shoot much easier and relaxed. Tina Ross does not. She’s so fucking uptight and doesn’t make the shoots as fun as a lot of other ones do, but she’s a big name, and damn it, she takes great pictures. I make my way to the bathroom and throw my clothes back on. I’m fucking exhausted; I
worked all day doing construction for my brother’s company, went home, showered, and came to this shoot. I love it too much though, to give it up. I’ve been modeling now for about three years. My girlfriend at the time pushed me to do it; once I did, she became extremely jealous, which I just didn’t understand since it was her idea. I’ve only had one girlfriend since, and I ended that because she liked the model not me. It all worked out for the best because I’ve been having a hell of a time. I don’t ever tell anyone I’m a model, but after landing on a few book covers and in several magazines, people are starting to notice me now. When I say people, I mean women. Let’s just say I’m not exactly lonely.

  I finish dressing and go back out to say goodbye to Tina. “Thanks, Tina.” She spins around and gives me a smile, well, a smile in the sense that her mouth isn’t in a straight angry line.

  “I’ll send you the pictures once they are edited.” Her shining personality is on display as usual.

  “Great. Have a good weekend. Hope to hear from you soon.” I leave hoping I hear from another photog sooner. I climb into my black Dodge Charger and push the key into the ignition. I love this car. I saved all the money I made from modeling until I could afford one. I throw it into gear and tear out of the parking lot. I stop on the way home and grab a pizza because I’m starving. I pull into the driveway of the ranch house I share with my best friend Blake; we’ve been friends since high school, and we’ve done pretty much everything together since. He also works at my brother’s construction company and does modeling. I walk into the house holding the pizza, and he walks out of his room and smiles. “Please tell me whoever is here is not going to come walking out half-dressed like you?” He laughs and takes the pizza out of my hands.

  “No, she left, but that’s not why I’m smiling.” I laugh as I pull two beers out of the fridge, and he tosses two slices of pizza on plates. He hasn’t said anything; he just keeps smiling like an idiot.

  “Well, are you going to fucking tell me, or you going to keep being a dick?” He takes a bite of pizza and smiles again. Fucking ass.

  “I talked to Max today, and he told me he knows an awesome photog that is looking for a couple of tattooed hotties.” He points to himself and me. “So anyway, he wants us to go with him and a few other guys in a couple weeks to some shoot she is doing.” I take a sip of my beer and look at him.

  “Sounds awesome. Who’s the photog?” He lifts his shoulders while finishing off his pizza.

  “I don’t remember, but Max said he’s shot with her, and she is awesome. That’s all I needed to hear.” He has a point. If Max said she’s good, she’s good.

  “What’s the shoot for?” He rolls his eyes.

  “Dude, I don’t know. Give Max a call; he’ll fill you in on everything.” I grab another slice of pizza and a beer before heading to the couch.

  “I’ll call him tomorrow. We are all supposed to hang out anyway.” He plops down next to me and flips on the TV, landing on some tattoo show. It gives me the itch to go get another one.

  “Oh shit, tomorrow night, we are chilling here, right?” I look over at him and raise my eyebrows. “I invited a few girls. I just want to make sure it was here.” I can’t help but laugh at him. I think with my dick a lot, shit what guy doesn’t, but Blake is worse than I am.

  “Yea, we are chilling here. Who did you invite?” He gives me a smile and tosses back the rest of his beer.

  “The usual crew, plus a few girls I worked with last week.” I give him a nod of my head and finish off my beer. “How was the shoot, I forgot to ask?” I put my empty beer down and face him.

  “I’m sure the pictures will be awesome. Tina is just so hard to work with. You know how it is. She is just so serious all the time. It makes the shoot harder to get into.” He gives me a nod of his head and lights up a cigarette, blowing a puff of smoke into the air.

  “Yea, I know, brother, but just like some of the models we work with, you just need to grin and bear it.” Ain’t that the truth. I’m not looking to make waves in this industry. I know how easy it is to have it all disappear overnight. I did a few shoots with this guy Steve, great guy, professional and fun to work with. He ended up sleeping with one of the more popular models, and when he didn’t return her feelings, she ended him. She threw him under the bus on social media and told photographers if they worked with him, she never would. Poor guy lost it all just to get his dick wet. I’d be a fucking hypocrite if I said I haven’t done it, but I’m definitely more careful now. It needs to be a mutual understanding that it is all in fun and nothing more. It’s been working for me. “I’m turning in, dude. I told your brother I’d come in tomorrow. I need the extra cash.”

  “Alright, I’ll see you when you get home tomorrow. Tell Brody I’ll give him a call when I wake up.” He waves his hand behind him as he walks down the hallway. I’m so damn happy I don’t need to work tomorrow.

  I wake up stiff as hell still sitting on the couch. I stretch and look over at the clock; damn, three in the morning. I get up and make my way to my room when I hear my phone buzzing. I listen and realize I left it in the kitchen, so I head in there wondering who the fuck is calling me at three o’clock. I grab it off the counter and see it’s Max. I answer it quickly, hoping I don’t miss it. “Hello?”

  “Shit, Jax, did I wake you? I’m sorry, man, but I’m kind of desperate for a ride home. I came to the bar with Luke, but he went off with some girl, and I don’t even have cash for a cab. Do you mind?” Fuck!

  “Yea, man, I’ll come get you. What bar are you at?” He tells me he’s at Ecstasy, and I hang up. I grab my keys and head out the door. I’m nothing if not dependable. I will always help out if I can, as long as it’s a friend willing to help me out too. Over the last two years of modeling, Max and I have become good friends, and I know without a doubt he’d come get my drunk ass.

  I pull up by the club and call him. “Hey, man you here already?” I look around to see if I can find him, but being that it’s Friday night, there are a lot of people still hanging out in front.

  “Yea, I’m here. Where are you at?” I’m still looking in the crowd of people to see if I can find him, and holy shit, I see probably the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t tell you her hair or eye color, and I can’t even make out the details of her face all that well. It’s the way she throws her head back and laughs that caught my attention. Not to mention the tight-ass dress she has on. I keep staring at her, almost willing her to look my way. Just then, my door flies open and I jump. Max is looking at me and laughing.

  “Shit, man, I didn’t mean to scare you. I told you where I was, but you didn’t say anything back so I just found you.” I quickly look over to where she was, and damn it, she’s gone. I sigh and look over at him.

  “Sorry I didn’t hear you. So you have a good time tonight?” He proceeds to tell me what a great night he had, the many numbers he got, and even about this girl that he hooked up with that he saw.

  “You know how it is, sometimes shit just happens, but I was kind of into this girl, and she blew me off completely. Seeing her tonight was actually kinda shitty, so I just told Kallie I would talk to her later.” I look over at him with my eyebrows raised before returning my eyes to the road. “Oh shit, Kallie, she is a photog I’ve worked with a few times. She’s really fucking great. Actually, I called Blake earlier when I couldn’t get a hold of you to tell you guys about a shoot she is doing in a few weeks. She is wanting to do this big shoot out on the beach with a bunch of models, both men and women. I told her about you and Blake, so be expecting a phone call.” Damn, that sounds really fucking interesting.

  “Thanks, I am looking forward to talking to her and hearing more about it. I appreciate you throwing my name out there.” He slaps my shoulder pretty fucking hard, and I turn to look at him. He’s just giving me a drunken smile so I laugh. I pull up in front of his apartment and park.

  “You’re a fucking great friend, Jax. Thanks for getting me. We still chilling tomorrow
?” He swings open the door but waits for me to answer him.

  “Yea, we are still on for tomorrow.” He climbs out and sticks his head back in.

  “Thanks.” I don’t even get to respond because he closes the door and walks away. I head home thankful that it is only a fifteen-minute ride.

  I wake up, roll onto my side, and look out my window. This house may be small with only two bedrooms, one bathroom, kitchen, and living room, but it’s the outside that sold me. There is a huge patio with a built-in BBQ and a kidney-shaped in-ground pool. To the right of the pool is a hot tub, and to the left of the pool in the back corner of the yard is a fire pit area with plenty of seating for hanging out on long summer nights. Blake and I entertain a lot, so the outdoor space is put to good use. We are also only a short walk to the beach, so we utilize that often too. Like this morning, after I get my ass up, I’ll go for a run on the beach.

  I roll onto my back and think about all I have to do today, but first things first. I need to go for a run. I work out daily, but I like to mix it up. I run on the beach because it is one hell of a workout on your legs, but tomorrow, I’ll take it to the gym. I get out of bed and throw on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt before getting my running shoes on. I make my way to the kitchen, but only for some water. I will have my breakfast when I get back. I guzzle down the water, grab my iPod, and head out the door. I put in my earbuds and select my workout music. The first song starts to play, and I immediately get pumped; it’s Shattered by Jinks. I start running and focusing on the music. Before I know it, I’m on the beach, feeling the burn in my legs. I run two miles down the beach and two miles back up. There are quite a few runners out here, sunbathers, and even a few families scattered in. I take it all in as I’m trying to keep up my pace. I see several beautiful women, and it brings me back to last night when I saw that woman laughing. It’s absurd that my mind would even go there. I only saw her for minutes at best, but damn, there was just something about her. The more I run, the more I think of this mystifying woman, a woman I will more than likely never again see.

 

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