An Affair of the Heart

by David George Richards

Robert nearly choked. He spat out some of the whisky, and wiped his mouth quickly. One or two people in the pub laughed, and the barman called out, “Scotch too good for you is it? Maybe you should have stuck to Bourbon!” More people laughed, but Robert just waved it aside with a wry smile. It was obvious that he was well known in the pub. As the laughter died away, he turned back to Rachel.

  “Are you trying to kill me?” he asked her.

  Rachel ignored his remark and pressed on. She had come this far; she couldn’t hang back now. “I’m right, though, aren’t I? You thought I was Sarah! That’s why you dropped the phone! You feel it too!”

  Robert lied. “You just sounded the same, that’s all. And what do you mean, feel it? Feel what?”

  Rachel reached out and grabbed his hand, and before he knew it, she hugged it to her chest. “That’s Sarah’s heart!” she said. “Can you feel it beating so fast? That’s because of you! I know it is! You must feel the same, Robert! You must!”

  There was a long pause. Rachel saw the startled look on Robert’s face turn to one of embarrassment. Other people in the pub were staring at them. She suddenly felt embarrassed too, and let go of his hand. Robert snatched it quickly away.

  Robert downed the remains of his drink in one gulp. He rubbed his face, and stared at the young woman in front of him, her head down now, and her face hidden behind a curtain of dark brown hair.

  “Alright, Rachel,” he said to her. “You’ve got my attention. Talk to me.”

  Rachel looked up. He seemed so attentive, sitting there, watching her, waiting for her to tell him everything. And what was she going to tell him? Foolish nonsense, that’s what. Sitting here in the pub, facing him at last, Rachel suddenly realised how silly it all was. And yet...

  “You’ll think I’m silly,” she said at last, and as soon as she spoke, she could feel her face begin to glow. She was blushing again, and she could do nothing to stop it. She quickly lowered her head, hiding her face once more.

  “It’s alright,” Robert said. “I’m not going to think you’re silly, no matter what you tell me. It’s obviously important to you, or you wouldn’t have come all the way here. So don’t be nervous, just have a drink, relax, and tell me everything. Okay?”

  Rachel looked up again, and Robert gave her such a friendly grin, she had to smile back. “Okay,” she said, softly. She picked up the orange juice and took a quick sip, feeling the juice cold on her lips. And taking a deep breath, she calmly and carefully told him the lot.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Heart to Heart

  “You must feel the same!” Rachel said at the end. “Even when I heard your voice on the phone, I was sure! I was, Robert! And you thought it was her on the phone, too! You thought I was Sarah! Didn’t you?”

  Robert had listened intently, not saying a word until she had finished. Now he held up his hand. “Now hold on a minute. Let me just go over this, okay?” he said, and he began to count the points off on his fingers. “First, you’ve got Sarah’s heart. That’s not in question. Second, you say you feel restless, like you need to do something, or go somewhere. And third, you say it reacts to my picture, but not to a picture of her husband?”

  Rachel nodded. “That’s right!” she said. “And everybody keeps telling me how well I’m doing, as if the heart is eager to get better and do something!”

  “Do you believe in ghosts?” Robert asked her out of the blue.

  “No, it’s not a ghost.”

  “I’m glad you said that.”

  “No, it’s more like Sarah’s soul, or an essence of her, is still here.”

  Robert didn’t reply. Rachel was beginning to feel that he didn’t believe her, so she went on quickly, “The more I find out about Sarah, the more things seem to make sense. I don’t know what other heart transplant patients feel. Maybe what I’m going through is quite common. Then again, maybe I’m just being over sensitive, and a bit silly.” Rachel paused for a moment before saying, “Oh, I don’t really know what I’m thinking or feeling anymore!”

  Robert toyed with the empty glass on the table. He still didn’t reply. He wasn’t looking at Rachel either. He just looked down at the empty glass he fiddled with. Rachel felt utterly dejected.

  “You don’t believe me, do you?” she said at last. “You don’t feel anything, either. I am just being silly, aren’t I? Just imagining it all, like some silly fantasy!”

  Robert looked up at her. “No,” he said firmly, and he shook his head. “You’re not imagining it. When I picked up the phone, it was Sarah’s voice I heard. Not someone who sounded like her, it was her voice. Exactly. And I have to admit; I’ve been avoiding you. Maybe not consciously, but I have. When your mother asked me yesterday, I did have the time, but I lied and told her that I didn’t.”

  “But why?”

  Robert sat back in the chair and shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t really know. I guess, maybe, it’s because there was something I had to tell Sarah, something that I was always putting off, and being near you would’ve remind me of it.”

  “Tell me!” Rachel suddenly demanded, leaning forward over the table.

  “Why? It doesn’t matter now.”

  “But it does! Maybe that’s why I feel so restless! Maybe it’s exactly what she needed to hear!”

  “I thought you said you didn’t believe in ghosts.”

  “Who was that you said you heard on the phone, again?” was Rachel’s quick reply.

  Robert laughed and they both smiled at one another. After a few moments he leaned forward and looked closely at Rachel’s face. It unnerved her slightly, and she moved back.

  “Take off your glasses,” Robert suddenly asked her.

  “What? Why?”

  “Never mind. You can put them back on again. Just take them off for a moment.” Rachel hesitated. “Go on,” he said again. Rachel took off her glasses and Robert moved a little closer, staring into her eyes. “Blue eyes,” he said in a whisper, and sat back in his chair again. “You can put them back on now,” he told her.

  Rachel put her glasses back on and said, “Sarah had blue eyes, too. Didn’t she?”

  Robert didn’t answer at first. Instead he just looked around the pub with a wry smile on his lips. He seemed to do this quite often, and it reminded Rachel of a schoolboy caught smoking behind the bike sheds. It was rather annoying. Her mother would have called him shifty.

  “Alright, Rachel,” he said at last. “I’m going to tell you some things. I don’t really know why, but I’m going to anyway. But before I do, you tell me where you think we’re going from here? Okay? Do you have visions of us going off into the sunset, hand in hand? Because if you do, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but it ain’t going to happen.”

  Rachel’s bubble had suddenly burst. “But, didn’t you feel anything?” she said, sadly. “Not even when you felt my heart, Sarah’s heart, beating in my chest?”

  Robert shook his head. “What I felt was a beautiful young woman’s chest, and a heart inside that was beating real fast. It was nice, and I’m sure at that moment there wasn’t a man in the place who wouldn’t have swapped places with me. But that’s all I felt. You are beautiful, Rachel. But I hardly know you. And I don’t really think that a long term relationship can be founded on the basis that you now have the heart of the woman I once loved.”

  Rachel couldn’t think of anything to say. Robert had dispersed any fantasy she might have had in a calm and logical manner. “But what about the voice on the phone?” she finally managed to say.

  Robert gazed around the room again before replying. “I don’t know about that, Rachel. All I know is, Sarah’s dead. And there’s nothing I can do about that now. Yes, her heart’s still alive. I could feel it beating like mad in your chest. But Sarah’s still dead. She’s gone.” He stopped speaking abruptly. And just as abruptly he started again. “Look, I don’t want this to sound harsh,” he said. “But it’s got to be said. Whatever ghost or soul you feel, I don’t feel it. Okay? I’m not sayi
ng that you don’t feel it. Just that I don’t. I admit; the phone call threw me. And since she died I’ve not slept too well, either. And I guess I’ve felt all the usual things. I’m sad and I’m hurting. And I miss her. There are things I wanted to say to her, and things I’m still frightened to say to her. And to cap it all, I’m kind of frustrated and let down by all this legal stuff, too. But that’s all. No strange dreams or voices, nothing.”

  “But you said that you avoided me. Why would you do that if you didn’t feel something?” Rachel almost pleaded.

  “That’s guilt, Rachel!” Robert said rather too forcefully. He immediately felt sorry, and repeated more calmly, “Just guilt.” Rachel stared at him in silence, suddenly aware that Sarah’s death had hurt him far more than she had realised. She felt very sorry for him. On impulse she reached out and held his hand. “You better tell me,” she said. “I want to know, I need to know. And I think you need to tell someone.”

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Arrested

  “My mother was right,” Rachel said. “If you were a cowboy, I think your hat would have been decidedly dark.”

  Robert made a face. “Mmmm, maybe slate grey,” he said, waving his hand from side to side.

  Rachel looked at him closely. Here, sitting in front of her, was the man she had been thinking about above all other things for the past several days. She had dreamt about him, fantasized, and hoped. And now he was here. And everything she had thought about him was wrong.

  Oh, yes. Robert McCord was certainly handsome. He had dark hair and eyes, a cheeky, almost boyish look, and a wickedly attractive smile that could have melted the Arctic ice pack. And above all, he knew it, too. Even so, Rachel would have had to like him, just as Sarah had done before, except that now she knew.

  “A brand new, dark slate, rather than an old sun bleached one,” she said.

  “Now you’re being cruel,” he replied.

  “What you did was unforgivable,” Rachel told him. “Even though I believed you when you said that you weren’t going to go through with it, it was still unforgivable.”

  Robert gave her that wry smile again. “Sarah would have forgiven me,” he said. “I know she would.” Then he added, quickly, “What did your heart tell you, Rachel? Did it miss a beat? Did it jump?”

  Rachel shook her head. “No,” she said sadly. “It was only me that was disappointed.”

  Robert looked away for a moment before replying. “I’m sorry, Rachel,” he said. “I don’t mean to fall so low. But I did warn you. Sarah already knows all there is to know. That’s if she is still around. So whatever you’re feeling, it’s not to do with me. But in a way, I’m glad I told you.”

  His words stirred something in Rachel and she had a sudden thought. “Tell me about the donor card!” she suddenly asked him. “You said in court you were there when she filled it in. Tell me about it! Please, Robert!”

  Robert looked puzzled, but as she seemed so insistent, he told her anyway.

  “We were in town one afternoon. She liked to wander around the department stores, and she often dragged me around with her. It’s not what you’d expect from such a sordid affair, is it? Window-shopping in Manchester? Anyway, she just started discussing it with me. She said how she wanted someone to have a chance at life if she should die. We were sitting in the restaurant of one of the stores at the time. The big white one near to Piccadilly?”

  “Debenhams,” Rachel replied.

  “Yes, that’s it. She took the donor card out of the back pocket of her jeans and put it on the table in front of her. I don’t know where she got it from. I just sat there with my coffee and watched her fill it in. I asked her what Alex thought about such things. She said he didn’t care, and that he didn’t believe in it. I asked her if she was worried about tempting fate, but she said that she wasn’t. She said that she wasn’t afraid of anything the future might bring anymore. She said that was part of the fun of life, finding out by surprise. She put the card back in her pocket and we talked about other things. The following week she was dead.”

  Neither of them spoke for a while after that. They just sat quietly at the table in the small pub, their heads down, each of them thoughtful. Finally, Rachel asked him another question.

  “Robert, why did you take this case? You don’t want any money, and you have nothing to gain by it. And it’s only going to stir up bad memories and pain for nothing. So why do it?”

  “I figured that I owed it to Sarah,” he replied. “In my mind it’s not really your case, it’s hers.” Rachel looked puzzled, so he explained. “It was Sarah’s belief that you should donate your organs after you die. Alex didn’t agree with her. That’s why she carried the donor card. Now Alex is trying to ruin it all for her. He’s interfering. I don’t know why he’s doing it, maybe it’s because she was leaving him that night, or maybe it’s because she went against his wishes. I guess you’ll have to ask him. I just wanted to make sure that Sarah finally got what she wanted. The freedom of her own choice at last.”

  Rachel thought about what he said. “Maybe your hat is a little bit lighter than I thought,” she told him.

  “Praise at last!” he said with a wide grin. “Does this mean I’m back on your Christmas list?”

  “Oh, I think you’re worthy of a small card!”

  “I should think so, too. After all, I did save your heart!”

  Rachel looked surprised. “He wouldn’t really have taken his wife’s heart back, would he?” she asked him a little nervously.

  Robert nodded. “If there’s one thing I know about Alex Williams, it’s that he doesn’t give up easy,” he said. “Alex was very possessive about Sarah. That’s really why she left him, not because of me. The cracks were there long before I came on the scene. Oh yes, he wants that heart you’ve got alright. Even now, he’s got Sarah’s body in a deep freeze somewhere just waiting for it to be returned. You’re a lucky girl, Rachel!”

  Rachel suddenly didn’t look too well. She swayed slightly and held onto the table with both hands to steady herself.

  “Hey! Are you alright?” Robert said in alarm. He went quickly to her side and grabbed her.

  “I think I need some fresh air,” she muttered rather weakly.

  “Good idea,” Robert said, putting his arm around her and helping her up. “And then I’m going to drive you straight back to the hospital. I think you’ve had enough for tonight.”

  “I’m alright,” she said as he led her out the door. “I just didn’t realise that he would have actually tried to make them cut me open again. It was a bit of a shock.”

  They were soon back in Queen Street, looking out across Lincoln Square. Robert kept his arm around her as Rachel took a couple of deep breaths. “Just breathe easy, okay?” he told her.

  She nodded. “I’m a bit of a dafty, aren’t I?” she told him. “Here I am, with the most to lose, and all I was worrying about was that I’d miss all the fun and excitement!”

  Robert looked at her closely. “Are you okay now?” he asked her.

  Rachel just nodded.

  “Are you sure?” he asked her again.

  “Yes,” she said. “I’m fine, honestly!”

  “Okay,” he said, and he began to walk her towards his car. He kept his arm around her waist as they walked along together, and somehow it felt sort of comforting to Rachel. She was going to tell him so, but just as they reached the car, two men suddenly appeared behind them, and one of them put his hand on Robert’s shoulder.

  “Are you Mr Robert McCord?” the man said in a very official tone.

  Robert looked at him in surprise and said, “Oh shit!”

  The man repeated his question. “Are you Mr Robert McCord?”

  “What’s going on?” Rachel demanded, suddenly afraid.

  Robert turned to her. “I told you he wouldn’t give up!” he said to her. “He’s having me arrested!”

  “Who is? What for?” Rachel was totally confused.

  “Excuse me, sir!
Please answer the question!” the man said.

  “Yes! Yes!” Robert said to him, angrily. Then he turned back to Rachel. “Alex, of course! Who else?”

  The man with his hand on Robert’s shoulder began to talk in a clear monotone voice as his companion waved to someone out of view. “I am Detective Sergeant Hanson, and this is Detective Constable Lang,” the first man was saying. Robert ignored him, talking instead to Rachel.

  “He wants to overturn my evidence!” Robert told her.

  “I’m placing you under arrest for embezzlement, Mr McCord…” the Detective Sergeant went on. Robert just talked over him, speaking as fast as he could.

  “Alex is going to try to introduce my theft and fraud as new evidence in his case against the MRI,” he said.

  “...I must caution you that you do not have to say anything...”

  “He’ll use it to throw doubt on my reliability as a witness!”

  “...but anything you do say maybe taken down...”

  “Call Brian!”

  “...and used in evidence against you.”

  “He wants your heart! Don’t let him get away with it! He’ll kill you if he has to!”

  A white car with a blue light on top suddenly drove up at speed. It skidded to a halt next to them, and the two detectives bundled Robert into the back seat of the car.

  “Call Brian! Call Brian, now!” were Robert’s last words as one of the detectives got in behind him, and the door was slammed shut and the car sped away. Rachel watched it turn into Deansgate and disappear.

  Rachel was suddenly alone in the street with the Detective Sergeant. She just stood there, completely stunned.

  “Do you have any means of transport, Miss?” DS Hanson asked her.

  “Er...No, em...I came on the bus,” Rachel managed to say.

  “Then is there somewhere we can drop you?” Rachel turned and looked at him, but didn’t reply, so he went on, “I’d prefer not to leave you stranded if I can help it, Miss.” He raised his hand, indicating another car waiting in the shadows at the end of the street. “Please?” Rachel nodded and slowly walked to the car with the policeman.