The Resolution for Women

by Priscilla Shirer

  And while we are no longer subject to the Old Testament law, this principle of Sabbath still carries fresh impact for us.

  Our inclination toward incessant activity shows up in all of our crowded spaces—packed calendars, stuffed closets, jumbled minds that can’t be turned off and quieted. We become slaves to busyness, slaves to the schedule, slaves to the disorder in our homes and our lives. We can’t keep a single thought in our heads for more than thirty seconds. The roar never stops. We rarely just leave room for . . . nothing. Like Israel, we’ve grown so accustomed to constant activity that even when the opportunity arises to be still, we can’t help but feel unsettled.

  So in order to protect ourselves from being controlled and enslaved by our chaos, we must become women who intentionally create “Sabbath spaces”—margins in our lives that are left purposefully clean and clear so we can enjoy the liberty we’ve been granted by God Himself. Failure to do so will continue to result in more and more bondage.

  Nothing is worse or sadder than a freed person slipping the chains back on—whether literally, figuratively, or spiritually. And unless we are deliberate about teaching this discipline to the next generation, we will be shackling them to the same chains of clutter that clank around our ankles most of the time.

  This can stop with you.

  One friend of mine finds this particularly difficult. While her family has decided to carve out a Sabbath space on Sunday afternoons to rest and be together, she often finds herself rushing around her living space trying to clean up, both implying and sometimes specifically demanding that her spouse and children do the same. In the end no one rests or enjoys one another because mom is frantically prompting everyone to use their “rest time” to work! Letting her family just be and enjoy life is a real challenge for her. A discipline. It’ll be a discipline for most of us too.

  But let’s do it.

  Start with what I call the “14 Challenge.” Historically the Sabbath was one day out of every seven. This amounts to 14 percent of a week. So let’s just keep it simple by starting with the number fourteen. Look at your schedule and decide when you can block out a Sabbath space of fourteen minutes each day—for yourself, for you and your spouse (if you’re married), or for your whole family to be together. Doesn’t sound like much, but you might be shocked at how difficult this may be for you to achieve and maintain. You may also be amazed at how much this block of time could rejuvenate you.

  On the weekends, encourage your children to spend at least fourteen minutes each day having some down time where they just go to their rooms to read or play quietly. This teaches both toddlers and teenagers that it’s OK not to be constantly barraged by television, video games, and other forms of entertainment that someone else provides for them with very little of their input. Your teenager might feel lost without Facebook or Twitter, but they’ll get over it. And you’ll be teaching them a valuable lesson.

  If you’re married, I also want to encourage you to determine what weekend or full week you can devote as a couple to Sabbath space, to rejuvenate and recalibrate from the other fifty-one weeks of the year. You need this and so does your husband. So does your relationship.

  This doesn’t necessarily mean taking a costly vacation to a particular destination. Sometimes it only means taking a vacation from certain activities. A simple week “off” from inundating technology and the normal schedule can give you a refreshing boost, as well as the opportunity to do some things you don’t usually have time for—like, for example, visiting an elderly relative, reading a novel cover-to-cover, cleaning out your closet, scrapbooking last year’s photo memories, or just taking an extra nap or two. Prioritizing a Sabbath will cause you to be fresher, lighter, and more prepared to take care of your home without becoming so easily frustrated and stressed out.

  But beyond just planning breaks in your time, consider creating Sabbath spaces in the tangible areas of your home. As easy as it is for our calendars to become overrun with responsibilities, our own homes can also turn into pits of clutter and chaos, causing them to feel less like a haven and more like a cave or dungeon we want to get out of. So why not create some “margins” in your home as well? Just as you cleared fourteen minutes from your daily schedule, clear fourteen inches of space somewhere in your living area once a week.

  Maybe that untidy shelf of yours is forty-eight inches long. Discipline yourself to clear just over one foot of space. Then the following week, fourteen inches more in another area of your home. Don’t go overboard trying to do a major house cleaning and organizational sweep or get overwhelmed because you can’t do everything at once. As an act of obedience to God—even an act of praise-filled worship—start giving your home some breathing room. Deliberately own that small section of your world until you’ve transformed it from piles of junk into peace and joy. Do it consistently enough, and you’ll wake up one day a few months from now with a living space that’s orderly, balanced, and more available for God’s use, all in fourteen-inch increments at a time.

  I know there’s nothing much more refreshing to me than walking into my closet and . . . actually being able to walk in! I enjoy being able to choose an outfit to wear when I can actually slide my clothes across the bar and see clearly what I’m choosing from. If it’s so crushed and crammed that I can’t even move the hangers from side to side, I get frustrated and put out. But what if it was fourteen inches more livable this week, and then I made another area of my home fourteen inches more livable the next? Pretty soon, I’d be 100 percent satisfied.

  So think about it. Is there a shelf you could clear out in your hall closet this week—just one small area where you could reclaim some space in your life? Is there a nook or corner that’s become a dumping ground for stuff that could be sifted through and relocated to the attic? Is there a single countertop that could be swiped clean of unnecessary untidiness that’s serving no real purpose? What about the junk drawer in your kitchen that holds everything and nothing at the same time? What will be the line, the “stopping point” for all your stuff?

  Only the woman living with grace and pursuing peace will prioritize enough to see the value in Sabbath spaces. Instead of being afraid of the silence or of what might fall through the cracks, she guards and embraces her margins. She sees them for the gift they are. She knows that nothing is enjoyable when there’s too much to be enjoyed. She can’t quite see what’s at her disposal when all the important things are lost under a pile of miscellaneous things. So she takes a few minutes to look carefully at her time and space, then determines that claiming peace is more important than hanging on to all this stuff that is slowly, methodically claiming her. She lets go. She ushers in an environment of peace for her home. Now it’s a place to be enjoyed, not burdened by, not enslaved to.

  A Sabbath space.

  You need it in your home, in your day, in your week, in your life. If you don’t have any idea how to put it there, grace can do it for you.

  • As you move forward with signing this resolution, carefully consider the practical aspects of your decision. What are some things you can begin to put in place to make grace and peace realized in your home?

  LIVING WITH GRACE

  I will cultivate a peaceful home where everyone can sense God’s presence not only through acts of love and service but also through the pleasant and grateful attitude with which I perform them.

  __________

  LEAVING A GODLY LEGACY

  A resolution to live today with tomorrow in mind

  Choose Wisely

  A good [woman] leaves an inheritance. (Proverbs 13:22)

  My brother once met an interesting young man while visiting a church in another city. After becoming acquainted and spending some time in casual conversation with each other, he began to tell my brother about his family which, it turns out, bears quite an interesting legacy.

  His great-great (however many “greats” make seven generations’ distance) great-great grandfather was a prominent political and military lea
der in the newly formed United States of America. He presided over the Constitutional Convention in May 1787 and wielded significant influence over the structure and ratification of our innovative form of government.

  In fact, he became our first president.

  But during those formative years in our nation’s history, with many decisions to be made about how this republic should be organized and function, a relatively small yet vocal group of citizens had interest in making George Washington king instead of president, eager for his leadership skills to be put to more permanent use. This would mean that subsequent men in his family would automatically ascend to the throne and carry the title. And he likely had the power to make it stick if he’d wanted to, especially if he’d thought it would be in the best interests of the nation.

  “In other words,” this young, direct descendant of George Washington said to my brother, “I would be king right now if he had chosen differently.”

  One decision.

  Made by one person.

  And its ripple effects on the generations have made a startling difference.

  I wonder if George Washington had this reality in mind as he was making his decision. I’m curious to know if any thoughts concerning his legacy were at least part of his rationale when choosing what to do. I can’t ask him, of course, but . . .

  I can ask you.

  Are you making today’s decisions with their impact on tomorrow in mind? When you’re arranging your priorities and forming your habits, do you think about your children, your grandchildren, about the kind of character they’ll remember about you and inherit from you? When you spend your money, or sport your fashion sense, or speak your piece, or spare your time, does it ever occur to you that you’re not just making a choice for yourself, in the moment? That you’re making a choice which impacts people who are following behind you? That you’re perhaps playing a role in the attitudes and observations of a young woman you hardly know, maybe even a total stranger who one day hears someone telling what you were like?

  These are the kinds of questions to keep in mind when thinking about what you will do today. How you will respond in this moment. What type of resolutions you will make and live by. These decisions matter right now, and . . .

  They keep on mattering.

  They are your legacy.

  We know that a legacy, generally speaking, is an inheritance, a gift bequeathed to others after a person’s death. An estate. Usually the terms of this transfer are carefully spelled out in an organized, legal document, detailing exactly how gifts of land, money, property, and possessions are to be distributed to a person’s loved ones. Clear instructions about who gets a certain piece of jewelry or a particular item of furniture. Yet as valid and honorable as it is to make these kinds of arrangements, cementing the tangible connection between generations, people tend to spend more time planning their physical inheritance than their spiritual one.

  Our legacy of faith, compassion, gratitude, perseverance, forgiveness, patience, and love should be carefully crafted and then purposefully passed on as well. Things that aren’t earned by shrewd investing but by simply living. Gifts that aren’t reserved for major holidays and dressy events but are given out on Tuesdays and Saturday mornings, in your sweatpants, without a lot of fanfare and fireworks.

  Just you. Choosing to live today as if someone’s tomorrow depended on it.

  This seemed to be paramount in Moses’ mind as he stood on the outskirts of the land of promise, having sojourned with God’s people forty years in the wilderness. Here he was, 120 years old, nearing the end of his life, sharing the crucial messages on his heart in these final hours with his beloved friends and fellow citizens (Deuteronomy 28–30).

  He spoke of legacy.

  He spoke of spiritual inheritance.

  He encouraged God’s people to make today’s decisions with tomorrow in mind.

  See, I have set before you today life and prosperity, and death and adversity; in that I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in His ways and to keep His commandments and His statutes and His judgments, that you may live and multiply, and that the LORD your God may bless you in the land where you are entering to possess it. . . . So choose life in order that you may live, you and your descendants. (Deuteronomy 30:15–16, 19 NASB)

  By choosing to love the Lord, to cling to Him, and commit themselves to Him in faithful obedience—today—the people of God could expect a long, prosperous existence as a nation tomorrow, filled with a lifetime supply of His joy and peace. This would allow them and their children to be recipients of all the benefits stipulated by the covenant God had initiated with them. In return for their faithful choices, they would be assured of “life”—a promising legacy of divine protection and provision to be handed down to their children and grandchildren as a heritage and birthright.

  I wonder if the men and women hearing Moses’ words, thinking about what God was offering—I wonder if they looked down at their children, milling and playing around their feet, picturing them all grown up and experiencing the full, rich benefits of their parents’ obedience—a mom and dad who chose to live in a way pleasing to the Lord.

  I wonder, too, if they were equally lost in thought and in visions of the future when Moses presented the second alternative: death. Making this selection would result in consequences that were equally explicit—things like misery, loss of divine favor, the insecurity of living outside God’s protection. Terrible stuff. Horrible, long-lasting side effects. Worse than the kind they rattle off on those prescription drug commercials that come on while you’re cooking dinner.

  Two choices. Life. Death.

  Was there really a choice to make? Would anyone knowingly seek “refuge in his own destruction” (Psalm 52:7 ESV), squandering the opportunity to bequeath a steady, godly legacy to his children, complete with all the blessings and favor that comes from God alone, both for themselves and the generations to come?

  Yes, they would.

  And yes, we do.

  Both knowingly and unknowingly, we do it every time we make even small, daily decisions that are contrary to the purposes, plans, and promises of God. We sign our names to a rotting, moth-eaten inheritance that those whom the Lord has entrusted to us will one day receive. When we ignore God’s priorities and make unwise, self-centered decisions without concern for others, we take a hammer to the legacy we’ll leave behind. We leave them with a heritage of heartache, turmoil, adversity, unnecessary difficulty, and possibly even spiritual curses to contend with.

  Perhaps you know this reality with startling clarity. Maybe you are a product of the unwise choices of your parents. The legacy left to you has been one of addiction and compromise, of debt and unforgiveness, of failure and shredded self-esteem. Maybe your parents didn’t mean to leave you imprinted with this kind of heritage, and yet they did—every time they chose not to specifically, purposefully, consistently make their momentary decisions with tomorrow in mind. When they opted for pleasure and fun over purity and fidelity, when they opted for weakness and selfishness over willful obedience and steadfast love, they were making the unwitting decision to pile baggage on your grown-up doorstep, the kind of clutter that can often take years to clear away.

  But no matter what legacy has been handed down to you, you can wake up in the morning to draft a new one on the drawing board of your life. You can restructure the clauses. Refocus the points and paragraphs. You can rename the recipients and reorganize the types of gifts you intend to give. This is your opportunity. To leave a legacy. A different legacy. A new legacy.

  And it all starts today.

  With the decisions you’ll make right now.

  This was Eileen’s reason for living well. She was a mother with eight children. Her husband worked like a madman to provide for the family, traveling incessantly and doing his best. But it was no easier on Eileen, who lost two of her children to death at birth, struggled with her own health, and was even forced at one time to make a transglobal move
with her family to keep hope afloat. Life was hard. Every day harder than the one before. But she had decided as a young woman that she would cultivate a legacy worth leaving to those she loved. So despite the many difficulties and challenges, she made each day of her life a decision to pay her legacy forward. To stay committed to her family and faithful to the Lord. To sit all eight of her children around her knees to read Scripture and pray over them. To invest herself fully in the work God had for her. It was difficult, but it was worth it.

  Today, at ninety-two, with thirteen grands and twenty-one greats to go with her already enormous brood, you can see the sparkle in her eye when surrounded by the fruits of her labor. As she watches her posterity soaking in the favor of God’s protection and provision, she takes that breath of a woman satisfied. You can see the framework of God’s blessing in the lives of those who trace their history to her door. You can see that her wise decisions paid off.

  This can be your legacy.

  It’s not too late.

  Today—truly, within the next twenty-four hours—an eye-opening choice is set before you. It’s disguised as your next opportunity, your next option, your next decision, your next offer. Now’s your chance to see these through the lens of Moses’ biblical description. See them as small yet significant choices between death and life.

  Is there really a choice to make?

  Choose life.

  Choose wisely.

  The legacy you are leaving depends on it.