Be Careful What You Pray For

by Kimberla Lawson Roby

  “Well, if you don’t mind, I’ll probably meet a couple of minister friends for lunch.”

  “That’s fine, because like I said, I need to get some writing done.”

  “I’ll be back by late afternoon, though, so if you want, we can go out to dinner.”

  “That’ll be fine, too,” Alicia said, turning toward the ringing phone. When she saw that it was her best friend, Melanie, she reached over to answer it. That is, until JT stopped her.

  “Hey,” he said, pulling her on top of him. “Let it go to voice mail.”

  “Why?”

  “Because.”

  “Because what?”

  “Because I wanna make love to my gorgeous wife.”

  “Is that right?”

  “Yes, that’s exactly right. So, is that okay with you?”

  “It’s more than okay. And just for the record, I wanted you last night.”

  “I know but, baby, after delivering the message yesterday morning and then visiting two separate families in the evening, I was exhausted.”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she said playfully. “Whatever.”

  “I was. I was beat.”

  “Well, I sure hope you’re completely rested up now.”

  “I am,” he said, kissing her. “I’m rested and totally ready to prove it.”

  Chapter 4

  Lying on his back, JT crossed his feet and locked his hands behind his head. Then, when the woman returned from the bathroom, he eyed her up and down, from head to toe. “No, wait,” he said as she moved closer to the bed. “Just stand there for a few seconds. Let me look at you. Because there’s absolutely nothing more beautiful than a naked woman who has curves in all the right places.”

  “So, you like what you see, huh?” she said.

  “Love it.”

  JT had been having an affair with Carmen Wilson for a little more than four years and no matter how many times he’d tried breaking things off with her, he’d never been able to do it. He’d tried and tried and tried, but the sex between them was so explosive, he just couldn’t seem to go more than a few days without having his way with her. It was true he loved having sex with Diana and he even loved having sex with Alicia…but he also loved having sex with Carmen.

  He didn’t want to love sex as much as he did, and he certainly wasn’t proud of the fact that he’d just had it with his wife this morning and only minutes ago with someone else. But for years now, particularly ever since he’d gained more power and respect in the ministry, he hadn’t been able to control his extreme desire toward stunningly attractive women. Deep down, he knew adultery and fornication were wrong, but it was as if he simply couldn’t help himself. So much so, he found himself craving all the attention those women in the church went out of their way to give him. Single ones. Married ones. Women, period. And he found joy in knowing that he really could have just about any of them if he wanted to. They sometimes threw themselves at him, even those who didn’t look so hot, but whether they were ugly or as good-looking as any woman could be, JT got a huge and very satisfying rush from all of it.

  Carmen finally slipped back into bed and cuddled up next to him. “So, Pastor Valentine, was it as good as always?”

  “The best,” JT said, closing his eyes and smiling.

  “Well, if that’s true, then why in the world did you marry that tramp Alicia?”

  His eyes reopened. “What? Oh, please, please don’t tell me that you’re going to start that nonsense up again.”

  “I wanna know why, JT. I wanna know why you chose that tramp-trick over me.”

  “First of all, she’s not a tramp, so please don’t call her that.”

  “Oh, really? Well, then, you must have forgotten what we saw in the national headlines just one year ago. You know…the news about her having an affair with some big-time drug dealer named Levi, how she was arrested and also how her husband left her.”

  “Carmen, why do you always have to ruin the great time you and I have together? Why do you insist on bringing up these unnecessary subjects?”

  “Why? Because I’m tired of hiding out at my apartment with you and tired of being treated like some second-class citizen. I’ve been doing this ever since my college years and also while you were married to your first wife. Then, to add insult to injury, when she died, you still went and married someone else.”

  “Look—” he began, but Carmen interrupted him.

  “Look, nothing! When Michelle died, you kept telling me that the reason you couldn’t marry me was because it wouldn’t look good to the congregation if you married someone so much younger than you, but then you ended up marrying someone my exact same age. Not to mention, before that, I even stopped attending NLCC because you didn’t want to take any chance that someone might see you and me making eye contact or that they might pick up on any chemistry between us.”

  JT heard what she was saying but didn’t dare tell her that the real reason he’d wanted her to leave New Life Christian Center when his first wife was still alive was because he hadn’t thought it was a good idea having two mistresses attending service together every Sunday—Diana and Carmen—even if there were five thousand members and little chance that they’d ever bump into each other.

  “Carmen, baby, come on now. We’ve gone over this a thousand times, and you know why I married Alicia. I married her because of who her father is, and just being able to tell people that I’m Curtis’s son-in-law has and will continue to be a major benefit to me and to the church as a whole.”

  “Do you think I care about any of that? So, what I want you to do is divorce Alicia. I want you to end things with her and marry me.”

  “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that.”

  Carmen sat up, spun her legs over the side of the bed, and stormed across the room. “I’ve been out of college for a whole year, JT,” she yelled. “So, whether you realize it or not, I’m ready to settle down, and I won’t continue being some part-time woman.”

  JT got up and walked over to where she was standing, but when he wrapped his arms around her from behind, she jerked away from him. “No! You need to make a decision. It’s either that tramp Alicia or it’s me.”

  “Carmen, you know I’m the founder and senior pastor of a very large church and that I don’t have the privilege of getting rid of my wife just so I can marry someone else.”

  Carmen’s face went blank. “Like I said, it’s either that tramp or it’s me. Period.”

  “Then I guess I have no choice but to end things with you.”

  Carmen cracked up like he’d just said something funny. “Fine. If that’s the way you want it, fine.”

  “Carmen—”

  “No, I want you out of here,” she said, putting on a hot-pink terry-cloth robe. “I want you out of here right now.”

  “Baby, it really doesn’t have to be this way. I know you’re upset, but let’s talk about this. Tell me what I can do to make this right.”

  “Tell you what you can do?! I already did. It’s either her or me.”

  “Why are you being so unreasonable?”

  “JT, please get your clothes and get out of here.”

  JT gazed at her but finally did what he was told. He slipped on his pants, polo shirt, socks, and shoes and then grabbed his keys.

  “You are so, so low-down, JT. You’re low-down and you’ve never cared about anyone but yourself. I’ve made so many sacrifices for you. I mean, even when my employer started offering us flex hours and said we could take off any afternoon we wanted, I chose Monday. I wanted to take Friday afternoons off instead, but I chose Monday because it was your day off from the church. And don’t get me started on all that illegal crap I did for you. I was so stupid, but I did everything you asked because you had me believing that you loved me.”

  “I do love you.”

  “Just shut up! You don’t love me. You don’t love anyone except JT,” she said, and then snatched open the top of her jewelry case and tossed one necklace and bracelet after an
other, hitting him with each of them. “Bringing all these expensive gifts over here like you really cared about me. You make me sick.”

  JT shook his head and walked out of the bedroom and down the hallway to the front door. He looked back and then realized that Carmen’s decision to break things off with him was probably a blessing in disguise. Over the last few months, she had started to become much too demanding, anyway, so maybe it really was time she moved on and found someone who could give her what she needed. JT would miss the remarkable way she had always pleased him, there was definitely no denying that, but in the end, he had a feeling her decision was best for everyone involved. He was sure Carmen would be much better off without him.

  Chapter 5

  Alicia grabbed a bottle of Perrier from the stainless-steel, dual-door refrigerator and looked over at the double ovens, one stacked on top of the other, and then at the granite and cherrywood island that included built-in burners and a sink. A few feet away were a large sitting area, with two oversized chairs and a fireplace, and a breakfast area that contained a rectangular glass table that seated six people. The kitchen was so large, she and JT could easily host a moderate-sized party in it and never have to use any other area of the house.

  No matter how many days passed, no matter how many times she strolled from room to room, Alicia never got tired of exploring the home she and JT lived in. Even as she walked into the living room and observed the exquisitely arranged light-tan furniture, she felt as if she were seeing every single piece for the first time. Then, as she continued on her self-directed tour, she glanced into the dining room at the lacquered wooden table, surrounded by ten comfortable chairs, and also at the china cabinet that seemed almost too perfect and delicate to touch. She loved this room and couldn’t wait to have both sets of her parents and both of her siblings over for dinner.

  Alicia finally unscrewed the metallic gold cap from the bottle she was holding, drank some of her water, peeped inside of JT’s study—the kind of study one might find at any of the top law firms in the country—and headed down the winding staircase and into the lower level. Once there, she observed the bluish-gray leather furniture and sixty-inch black television located in the family room, and then walked into another room that housed an even larger viewing screen and four rows of theater chairs.

  After she’d gone into the workout room and turned off the light she must have left on earlier this morning, she went back up to the first floor and then up to the second. On the way to the master suite, she passed three guest bedrooms, one of four bathrooms on that level, as well as her office. When she arrived, she went into her walk-in closet and scanned all of her clothing, some of which she’d had for a while and some she still hadn’t even removed price tags from and had a chance to wear yet. Then there were the multiple rows of dress shoes, casual shoes, and athletic shoes.

  Alicia loved her life and wouldn’t have traded it for anything. She loved her husband and the lifestyle he was able to give her. She loved everything about him and was planning to be the best wife she knew how to be. She honestly couldn’t have been more satisfied than she was right now, but suddenly, Phillip crossed her mind. Her ex-husband and her first real love. She couldn’t believe it had been a whole year since she’d last seen or heard from him, but no matter how much time passed by, she still felt a little sad about the way things had turned out between them.

  She still remembered the first day they’d met and how in love they’d been with each other from the very beginning. But she also remembered how horribly they’d gotten along with each other. Their marriage had been a total disaster and she couldn’t deny all the pain and trouble she’d caused Phillip, and she hoped he was doing okay. She prayed that life was good for him now and that he’d found the perfect mate, the same as she had.

  Alicia went into her office and sat in front of her computer. But when she signed on to AOL, she saw a headline about prisons, and for whatever reason, she quickly thought about Levi and the feelings she’d once had for him. She’d known it was wrong for any married woman to have feelings for another man, but she hadn’t been able to help herself. He was so smooth, and he looked so good. She’d been drawn to him as a teenager but even more so when she’d become an adult, and, drug dealer or not, there had been something very special and compassionate about him. Levi knew, wholeheartedly, how to satisfy a woman, how to treat her with respect, and whenever Alicia had been with him, she’d always felt this noticeable sense of security. When they were together, she’d felt loved and protected in a way she couldn’t explain to anyone. But that still hadn’t changed reality: Their relationship just wasn’t meant to be.

  Alicia still remembered the day Levi was preparing to drive her back to the public parking lot where she always left her car whenever she wanted to spend time with him at his home, and how multiple policemen had stopped them from exiting the driveway. Levi had turned off the ignition and then demanded that she toss out of her purse the five thousand dollars he’d given her to pay off some of her bills, so she wouldn’t be charged with possession of drug money. She remembered how she hadn’t wanted to give any of the money up because she’d needed it so badly, but once they’d been arrested and she was quickly released on bond, she’d been glad she’d done what Levi had told her.

  After reading a few articles online, Alicia flipped through some of her manuscript pages and got excited about the idea of being a published author. She only had maybe another two days’ worth of revisions to work on, and then she’d be resubmitting it to her dad’s agent. Joan loved the idea that Alicia’s novel was centered on two young people who meet, fall hopelessly in love, and then get married barely six months later. She’d said she liked the fact that the characters were an example of so many young married couples in America who never truly got to know each other as well as they should before agreeing to make a lifelong commitment and then ended up miserable, hating each other, and ultimately in divorce court. Alicia, of course, had loosely based part of the story on her marriage to Phillip, but at the same time she’d used much of her very vivid imagination to tell the majority of it.

  Writing felt so natural to Alicia, and she was glad she was in a position to work on her novel full-time. Creating characters and story lines were the two things she enjoyed doing and would have done them even if there was no chance of getting paid for it.

  She read through a few more pages that she’d edited this morning and then her cell phone rang.

  “Hi, Daddy,” she answered.

  “So, how’s my baby girl doing today?”

  “I’m good. How’s Charlotte? And Matthew and Curtina?”

  “They’re fine. Curtina is giving a whole new meaning to the saying ‘terrible twos,’ but she’s doing well.”

  “I haven’t seen her in forever, so I’ll have to drive over sometime next week. I haven’t seen Matthew since the wedding either, and I really miss him.”

  “He misses you, too, and he was just saying yesterday how he was going to call you to see if he could come spend the weekend with you.”

  “I would love that, and I’ll make sure to call him tonight when he’s home from school.”

  There was a short pause and then Curtis said, “So, you’re really doing okay? Because you know I worry about you.”

  “Yes, everything is wonderful, and I’m very happy.”

  “I’m glad. So, what else is going on?”

  “Okay, Daddy, wait. Can I just ask you something first?”

  “Sure, honey, go ahead.”

  “Why is it that you hardly ever ask how JT is doing?”

  At first her father didn’t say anything but then he said, “So, how’s your husband, Alicia?” His tone was sarcastic, and Alicia didn’t like it.

  “He’s fine, Daddy, and he’s taking very good care of me.”

  There was another pause, and Alicia was losing her patience.

  “Why can’t you just accept how much I love JT and how much he loves me back? Why can’t you just be ha
ppy for me?”

  “What I accept is that you’re a grown woman who has the right to make her own decisions. But there’s no way I’m going to pretend I’m happy about you being married to JT Valentine. Alicia, the man has a long history of women, and word is that he messed around on his first wife the entire time they were married.”

  “But, Daddy…so did you. You did the same thing to Mom.”

  Curtis didn’t say anything, and Alicia immediately regretted what she’d said.

  “Daddy, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be disrespectful and you know I love you, but at the same time, I want you to see that JT is no different than you. He may have done things he’s not proud of, but he’s a totally changed man just like you are.”

  “Have you ever asked him about the affairs he supposedly had?”

  “Yes. And he admitted that he wasn’t perfect when he was married to his wife, but also that he only went out on her one time with one woman.”

  “Hmmph.”

  “So, what are you saying? That you don’t believe him?”

  “To be honest with you, I don’t. And I’ll tell you why. It’s because of what you just said: He’s no different than me. At least he’s no different than the old me, anyway, and I can see straight through him. I’m telling you, he’s no good, baby girl, and I regret the day I ever invited you to come with us to visit his church. I’ll regret it from now on.”

  Alicia was livid. “Daddy, I have to go. And just for the record, I’m not your baby girl anymore, so please stop calling me that. It’s one thing for you to call me that because the words are endearing, but it’s another when you do it because you think I’m still some child living in your house and one you need to watch over.”

  “Alicia, you’re taking all of this the wrong way, and I just wish you’d listen to me.”

  “I have listened and now I think it’s best that we just agree to disagree and leave it at that.”

  “Fine. But I’m still your father, I love you, and I’ll be here when you need me.”