by Joan Jonker
‘But I haven’t done nothing wrong, girl. What are yer getting all het up about?’
‘What have yer done! Go home and have a look in the mirror, Nellie, and yer’ll see the evidence on yer nose, and in the corners of yer mouth. Yer’ve let me down, so go home.’
‘I ain’t going nowhere, girl. I’ll stand here and wait for yer to apologise.’
‘Yer’ll wait a long time.’ Molly wasn’t sure of her ground now, for her mate didn’t look a bit guilty. ‘I’m going to shut the door.’
‘Please yerself, girl, but I’m staying here. And if the neighbours ask me why I’m standing like a lemon in front of a closed door, I’ll tell them yer called me a liar and I’m not budging until yer say ye’re sorry.’
‘Please yerself,’ Molly said, turning to go back into the living room. But she only half closed the front door because she was only half certain of whether she was doing the right thing. She walked straight through to the kitchen and placed the cake bag next to the plates. Her hands curled into fists on the draining boards. She was frightened to open the bag for two reasons. The first was she would see three squashed cakes, the second because she didn’t like falling out with her mate. She was so lost in thought she didn’t hear a sound, and she jumped when she heard a voice behind her.
‘Go on, open the bleeding bag, girl, it’s not going to bite yer.’
Molly was now so unsure of herself a voice in her head was telling her she should be certain of her facts before opening her mouth. ‘If yer weren’t so fond of playing tricks on people, sunshine, then they wouldn’t always look sideways at yer.’
‘Don’t be such a wet bloody week,’ Nellie said, pushing Molly aside. ‘Yer might know I wouldn’t let yer down today, not when yer’ve got Claire coming.’ She tore the bag from top to bottom, revealing three cream slices that were as perfect as they were when the baker put them on the rack. ‘That’ll teach yer to cry before ye’re hurt.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry, sunshine, I should have trusted yer not to let me down. But what was I supposed to think, when yer’ve got a blob of cream on the end of yer nose, and in the corners of yer mouth?’
Nellie’s face dropped. ‘I haven’t, have I, girl?’
‘Go and look in the mirror if yer don’t believe me.’ Molly followed her through to the living room and stood behind her as the little woman stood on tiptoe to try to see her face.
‘What have yer got the mirror so high up for, girl? I can only see the top of me forehead. Haven’t yer got another one?’
‘There’s the broken one in the kitchen, but it’s got marks all over it and it makes yer look as though yer’ve got chickenpox.’
Nellie pushed her aside and waddled to the kitchen. She picked up the piece of mirror that was leaning against the window, which Jack used when he was shaving. The silver was off it in places, and if you wanted to see your full face you had to keep moving until you found a clear space. ‘Oh, my God.’ Nellie ground the words out. ‘I’ll marmalise Edna Hanley for letting me walk through the streets like this.’
‘What’s Edna got to do with it?’ Molly asked. ‘And I don’t know how yer couldn’t see the blob on yer nose for yerself.’
Nellie could pull some faces, but as Molly was to tell Jack later, she’d never seen anything like the one she was pulling now. Nellie could see the blob of cream in the mirror, but she was blowed if she could see it without. She tried looking down her nose, putting her head back and looking up her nose, crossing her eyes, but all to no avail. ‘I’ve crossed everything but me legs, girl, and I still can’t see no cream. I probably could if I stood on me head, like I used to do when I was at school, but I don’t think I’ll be trying that.’
‘Not in my house yer won’t,’ Molly said, ‘I couldn’t lift yer up if yer fell. Anyway, just out of curiosity, how have yer come to have cream on yer face?’
Nellie had the grace to blush. ‘I couldn’t resist, girl. Yer know I’ve got no willpower. And there was this cream bun in the glass cabinet, and it was looking at me as if to say, go on, girl, yer know yer fancy me.’
‘And what did yer say back to it?’
‘I didn’t say nothing to it, girl, honest! But I did say to Edna, “Give us that cream bun, will yer, Edna, and I’ll eat it while I’m waiting for yer to serve me.” And d’yer know what, girl, that bun tasted better than any cake I’ve ever had. But it’s been spoilt for me now, knowing everyone I passed must have had a good laugh behind me back. And I bet Edna Hanley’s still having one.’
‘Don’t be saying that, sunshine, ’cos the chances are, Edna never noticed yer.’
‘Of course she did! You did, didn’t yer?’
‘Ah, yeah, but I was on the front step looking down at yer, not serving in a shop with customers to worry about. I’d say Edna had more on her mind than you standing there filling yer face. And I’ll bet a pound to a pinch of snuff that yer devoured that cake in two bites.’
Nellie grinned just thinking about it. ‘It was three bites, girl, I’m not greedy.’
‘Not much, ye’re not,’ Molly told her, shaking her head. ‘Anyway, I apologise for thinking ill of yer, sunshine. I won’t be so hasty in future.’
‘And I owe you an apology, girl.’ Nellie couldn’t stop her tummy from shaking, and Molly wondered what she was in for. ‘I only had the sixpence you gave me for the three cakes, as yer very well know, so I asked Edna to take the money for two of the cream slices and the cream bun, and you’d pay her for the other cream slice tomorrow.’
‘You cheeky hound, Nellie McDonough! Have yer heard that saying when anyone does something they shouldn’t, that they take the biscuit? Well, you take the ruddy cake!’
Nellie’s chubby face creased. ‘Ay, that’s good that is, girl. It’s not very often that ye’re so quick off the mark.’
Molly looked at the round, happy face, and couldn’t resist. She put her arms round Nellie’s shoulders and gave her a hug. ‘Ye’re the bane of me life, sunshine, but I love the bones of yer.’ Then she remembered and quickly added, ‘And all your fat as well.’
Chapter Seven
‘Hello, sunshine. Me and Nellie were just about giving up on yer.’ Molly welcomed her visitor with a smile while thinking she had never seen a face so perfect. ‘We expected yer to be here earlier.’
Claire lifted the canvas bag she was carrying by its string handles. ‘I had to do a bit of shopping for tonight’s meal. I just managed to get everything I need before the shops closed for their dinner hour.’
A loud voice called out, ‘What are yer keeping her at the door for, girl? Why the hell don’t yer just tell her to wipe her feet and come in.’
Molly rolled her eyes as she held the door wide. ‘I think yer will recognise the dulcet tones of my mate, who, I might add, has been waiting for yer to come so she could have a cuppa. And, I might also add, she hasn’t been waiting patiently, either. It’s a wonder yer ears haven’t been burning.’
Claire smiled when she saw Nellie sitting at the table in the elegant carver chair. ‘My goodness, Nellie, yer look very important sitting in that chair. Like a managing director in charge of a meeting with his staff. I’ve got to say it really is an impressive chair.’
Nellie looked like the Cheshire cat who had just licked the cream off the top of the milk. And she quickly decided a posh chair required a posh voice to go with it. ‘My friend Molly bought this chair hespecially for me, hand no one helse his hallowed to sit hin hit.’
‘Shall I translate that for yer, sunshine?’ Molly asked, as she took the bag off Claire and stood it at the side of the couch. ‘It’s Nellie’s way of telling yer to keep yer eyes off it.’ She chuckled. ‘Her backside, and hers alone, is allowed the great privilege of sitting in it. I bought the ruddy thing because she talked me into it. Not that I didn’t take a liking to it, for I did, but Nellie’s encouragement was the deciding factor. But I never thought for one second that I wouldn’t be allowed to sit in it in me own house. I’m allowed to polish it, and k
eep it looking good, but with regards to my sitting on it, well, that’s out of bounds.’
Nellie nodded her head knowingly. ‘Don’t be trying to fool me, girl, ’cos I know ruddy well that as soon as I’m out of the door, your backside is on this chair.’
‘I know what yer could do, Nellie,’ Claire said jokingly, ‘yer could put a reserved notice on it. That would stop anyone else using it.’
‘Ooh, ay, girl, that’s a bleeding good idea. Why didn’t I think of that?’
Molly tutted. ‘Because yer can’t spell reserved, sunshine, that’s why.’
Nellie’s eyes narrowed. ‘No, clever clogs, but I can spell crafty, and that’s what you are. I’m not going to ask you to write the word down for me, ’cos I know yer’d cheat, so I’ll ask Claire instead.’
‘And when yer know how to spell it, sunshine, what are yer going to do then? Yer don’t think I’d let yer paint the word on the chair, do yer?’
‘I’m not going to tell you, girl, ’cos I don’t trust yer. Yer’ll find out soon enough, though, and it’ll put yer off plonking yer backside on it for a little rest when ye’re on the way to the kitchen. And talking about the kitchen, girl, which yer weren’t, like, but I think it’s my place to remind yer that the kettle must have burnt its backside out by now. So hadn’t yer better see to it, and while ye’re out there, will yer remember yer manners and make yer visitors a cup of tea and some refreshment?’
‘I’ve only got one visitor, sunshine, and that’s Claire. You’re here so often ye’re part of the ruddy fixtures. And it wouldn’t do you any harm to get off that chair and give me a hand.’
‘I’ll give yer a hand, Molly, if yer don’t think I’m being pushy,’ Claire said. ‘I’d hate to part Nellie from that chair. She looks really content there.’
Nellie grinned, thinking what a nice person Claire was. ‘That’s real kind of yer, Claire, very thoughtful. Not everyone is as thoughtful as that, are they, Molly? And I don’t want to upset yer, girl, but don’t let the cakes see that look on yer face, ’cos it’ll turn the cream sour.’
Molly dipped a knee in a curtsy. ‘Yes, Miss Nellie, three bags full, Miss Nellie. I’ve a good mind to drop your cake on the floor for spite.’
‘Wouldn’t worry me, girl, ’cos ye’re always telling me how fussy yer are about cleaning yer house. So unless ye’re telling lies, yer floor should be clean enough to eat off.’
Claire was grinning when she followed Molly into the kitchen. Keeping her voice low, she said, ‘She is hilarious. Is she always pulling yer leg like that?’
Molly didn’t bother keeping her voice low. ‘If yer whispered in me ear, Claire, she’d still hear yer ’cos she’s got the ears of a hawk. And she does often pull me leg, but this is one time she’s in earnest. If I dropped her cream slice, she’d be out here like a shot to lick the cream off the floor.’
‘I heard that, girl! Don’t yer be pulling me to pieces and telling lies about me.’ Nellie’s voice came loud and clear. ‘Don’t you take no notice of her, Claire, I’m not a bit like she’s making me out to be. I was brought up proper, I was, not dragged up like what some people are. To hear them talk yer’d think they were born in a castle, with servants to wait on them.’
Molly gave Claire a light dig and winked. ‘So, are yer saying, sunshine, that if I did drop one of the cakes, the one that happens to be yours, then yer wouldn’t eat it?’
There was silence for a while as Molly poured the boiling water into the pot. Then she put a finger to her lips and mouthed the words, ‘Just wait for it.’
Nellie was in a quandary. Well, she wasn’t really in a quandary, she knew exactly what she would do, but how could she tell them and make it sound acceptable? ‘Well, girl, it’s like this. D’yer remember during the war when we went short on food? I remember sitting at me table one day, me tummy rumbling, and I made a vow that day that I would never ever waste food again, ’cos it would be a sin. And I’ve kept to that, girl, I’ve never wasted a crumb since that day. So me conscience wouldn’t let me throw a good cream slice in the bin, especially when the floor it was on was spotlessly clean. And on top of that, I wouldn’t sleep tonight thinking of those poor souls in the world what are starving.’
‘What part of the world is that, sunshine?’
They couldn’t see her face, but she looked fierce as she stuck out her tongue towards the kitchen. ‘How the hell do I know the names of those far-off places, yer silly sod. But I do know there’s loads of them. And before yer decide to give me a lesson in geography, girl, will yer bring that flaming tea in before I die of thirst.’
Molly burst out laughing. ‘I’ll carry the tray through, Claire, if you fetch the plates. I’d hate me mate to die in my house; it wouldn’t feel right, somehow. I couldn’t live in it if she did, ’cos she’d haunt me.’
When they were sitting round the table, with Nellie presiding over events from her special chair, Molly began to pour the tea out. Then she noticed Nellie’s eyes going to the plate on which the cakes stood. She was stretching her neck to see which cake had the most cream in it, and it would be true to say her mouth was actually watering.
‘It’s a pity yer can’t remember the place where the people are starving, sunshine, ’cos if yer did yer could give them your cake.’
‘Sod that for a joke,’ Nellie said, leaning forward and taking a cake from the plate. ‘Fancy having to go through torture for a tuppenny cake.’ She gazed lovingly at the cream oozing out of the sides, then her tongue shot out and she licked down one side, practically purring as she did so. Then she looked at her mate. ‘Ay, girl, d’yer think they’ll have cream slices in heaven? If I knew for certain that they did, I’d be as good as gold. I’d never tell no more lies, nor would I speak ill of anyone. But I’d need a guarantee before I got serious over it. I wouldn’t just take your word for it, girl, so I’ll ask Claire and see what she thinks.’
‘Well, Nellie, rather than getting religious, if I were you I’d hedge me bets. Because, even if they don’t have cream cakes in heaven, it would be a far better place to go to than down below. For yer certainly wouldn’t get cream cakes or ice cream down there, ’cos I believe the fires are red hot and the cream would go off in no time.’
Nellie nodded. ‘Good thinking, girl, good thinking. But yer see, I don’t know meself when I’m telling lies. They just come out of me mouth without asking me first. So I hope God knows this, and takes it into consideration.’
‘Nellie, will yer stop talking so me and Claire can have a sandwich? Claire’s been working all morning. She must be hungry.’ Molly passed the plate of ham sandwiches over to Claire. ‘Put a couple on yer plate, sunshine, while the going’s good. And drink yer tea before it gets cold. There’s nothing worse than lukewarm tea.’
Claire bit into the sandwich and nodded. ‘Mmm, the ham tastes nice, Molly. Where did yer get it from?’
‘From Irwins. Yer can always rely on it being lean and tasty. I sometimes get it from the butcher’s for convenience, but it’s usually got a lot of fat on.’
Nellie was munching on a sandwich, her head going from Molly to Claire. In the end she got fed up being left out. ‘Have yer forgotten I’m here, girl? I heard yer saying yer’d got the ham from Irwins, but yer never said I went to Hanley’s for the cakes. Anyone would think yer’d done everything yerself.’
It was Claire who answered. ‘Oh, I know you and Molly share everything, Nellie, because she’s told me. And I can tell yer I feel jealous because I haven’t got a close friend I can share a laugh with, or tell me troubles to.’
Nellie showed her soft side now. ‘Oh, yer can always come to me and me mate, girl. We’ll always help yer, won’t we, Molly?’
‘Yes, of course we will! And if yer don’t live far away, there’s no reason why yer can’t call in and see us whenever yer feel like a natter, or yer want to get something off yer chest.’ Molly tilted her head. ‘If yer don’t mind me asking, Claire, how long have yer been a widow?’
‘It�
�s five years now, although it seems like it was only yesterday that Bill died. I still miss him, and many’s the night I cry meself to sleep. I try not to let the kids know, for it would serve no purpose to make them sad, as well. But never a day goes by I don’t think of the lovely man who was my husband.’
‘Yer said Ken takes after him for looks, didn’t yer?’ Molly asked. ‘If he does then yer husband was a fine-looking man, for Ken is a good-looking boy.’
Claire nodded. ‘Yes, he’s very like him in looks. And he takes after him in other ways, too. He walks like him, talks like him, and has a lot of his mannerisms. Yer know, the way he smiles and holds his head. While Ken is alive, my husband will never be dead.’
‘Can I ask how old yer are, Claire?’ Molly didn’t want to seem nosy, but she was interested. ‘I’d say not more than thirty-five.’
‘I am thirty-five, so that was a good guess. But sometimes I feel like an old woman. That’s ’cos I don’t go out much because of the shortage of money, and I’ve no neighbours like you and Nellie. Although I have to say I feel better since I started work. I meet people every day, ’cos I work in the shop part of the laundry. People bring their sheets, pillowcases, men’s shirts, things like that, and I’m getting to know a few of them for they’re in every week.’
‘Blimey, they must be loaded with money,’ Nellie said, her face screwed up. ‘It costs a bleeding fortune taking clothing or bedding to be laundered. I took a couple of sheets once, and they charged me a shilling. That was me first and last time. Highway robbery it was, and I told them so.’
Molly had her eyes on Claire’s face. ‘Would yer every marry again, sunshine, if a nice bloke came along?’
‘I’ve never thought about it, Molly. I don’t think I would, though, ’cos no one could ever take Bill’s place.’
Nellie didn’t agree with that. ‘Ye’re only young, girl, yer’ve got a long life ahead of yer. And without a man yer life will be lonely.’
