MB07 - Three Little Words

by Joan Jonker

  Her mate wasn’t going to let the incident pass without gaining something from it, though. ‘I’ll come to Doreen’s with yer on Friday night, girl. It’ll be an excuse to get out of the house for an hour and hear some human voices. My feller’s in a world of his own once he gets the Echo in his hands, and I can’t drag a word out of him. And I get bored stiff being on me own and no one to talk to. Our Paul is out every night as soon as the dinner’s over. Well, after he’s spent an hour dolling himself up. He takes longer combing his hair and cleaning his teeth than I do all week cleaning the house down.’

  Molly squeezed her arm. ‘He’s only young, Nellie. He’s bound to want to look nice when he calls for Phoebe. I remember I used to stand for hours titivating meself up when I first started courting Jack. Me ma used to tell me off for being vain.’ She began to chuckle. ‘And our Tommy used to fight with the two girls to get to the mirror in the kitchen first. He never had a hair out of place when he knocked on me ma’s door for Rosie.’

  Nellie pulled her to a halt. ‘D’yer know why I never bothered with meself when I was their age? Because I never knew what I looked like. The bleeding mirror on the wall over the fireplace was far too high up. I couldn’t even see what me hair looked like. And I still have to guess, ’cos I can’t see in our mirror properly, either! I don’t mind so much now, though, ’cos I know you’d tell me if I looked a sight, or me knicker legs were showing.’

  ‘Nellie, if yer knicker legs were showing I’d be too embarrassed to tell yer. And d’yer know why I’d be embarrassed? Because I know yer wouldn’t turn a hair. I wouldn’t put it past yer to stand in the road, lift yer dress and pull yer knickers up. In full view of anyone who was unfortunate enough to be passing at that particular moment.’

  ‘Ye’re a fussy bugger, you are,’ Nellie said with feeling. ‘If the worst thing anyone ever sees in their life is the leg of someone’s knickers, then they’re bleeding lucky. And that’s all I’ve got to say.’

  ‘And yer said it well,’ Molly said, also with feeling. ‘And don’t ever worry if it happens, ’cos I won’t run away and leave yer. I’ll open me coat wide and stand in front of yer so yer can hold on to yer modesty.’

  ‘It’s not me modesty I’d have to hold on to, girl, it’s the leg of me ruddy knickers! Yer see, I couldn’t just pull them up, ’cos I always have a pin in them for safety reasons.’

  Molly shook her head in disbelief. ‘That cotton dress yer’ve got on, the one yer bought for two bob down at Paddy’s market? Well, it must be hiding a multitude of sins. Ye’re a walking disaster, Nellie, d’yer know that?’

  ‘I’ve been called worse things than that by George. But as ye’re so pure at heart, I can’t tell yer ’cos some of his language is very strong.’

  ‘You do surprise me!’ Molly said. ‘I’ve never heard George use strong language in all the years I’ve known him.’

  Nellie grinned back at her. ‘He said it’s me what makes him swear. In fact, he said I’m enough to make a saint swear.’

  ‘Does George know that ye’re well in with Saint Peter? If he doesn’t, I think it would be wise of yer to tell him. Yer see, his bad language might tell against him and he might not be admitted to heaven. And I’m sure he’d want to meet up with yer again in the after-life.’

  Nellie laughed so much her whole body shook. ‘If I told George what yer said, every other word would be a swear word. After a lifetime with me down here on earth, I don’t think he could stand the thought of meeting up with me when he’s dead.’

  ‘Nellie, this is not a pleasant conversation. Think of something nice to talk about.’

  ‘Yeah, okay, girl. Let’s talk about who’s paying for the sandwiches and cakes on Friday for when Claire comes?’

  ‘We’ll go half each, sunshine. I think that’s the best way. Then we won’t be squabbling every week about who pays.’

  ‘I’m looking forward to seeing her, girl, to find out how she’s getting on with the man we saw coming out of the shop.’

  ‘Yer wouldn’t say that to her in those words, would yer, sunshine? If yer let on that we spied on her, I swear you and I will have our first row and I’ll never speak to yer again.’

  Nellie thought it would be in her best interest to change the subject. ‘Ay, wouldn’t it be smashing if Claire brought cream slices with her, like what she did last week?’

  ‘I take me hat off to yer for invention, Nellie. In one big swoop yer’ve taken us from life after death to Claire and her cream slices. And there’s not many people could do that and keep their face straight.’

  ‘I might be able to keep me face straight at a funeral, girl, ’cos I’d be frightened that Saint Peter would be looking down at me. But it’s more than me heart could stand to keep me face straight in Hanley’s with all those cream cakes in the glass case.’

  ‘Ye’re short on willpower, sunshine, that’s your problem. Yer don’t have a problem with telling lies, or making up stories to make people laugh, but I’m afraid the sight of cream is your downfall.’ Molly happened to glance across the road, and she saw two faces pressed against the inside of the butcher’s window. ‘There’s Ellen and Tony waving to us, Nellie, so we may as well cross over and get our meat.’

  Nellie pulled on her coat. ‘Can I tell her about their Gordon coming to yours on Friday night for a game of cards? There’s no harm in that, surely?’

  ‘Okay, sunshine, if it makes yer feel better. But only what yer’ve just said. Ye’re not to add one more word to it.’ Molly took her friend’s arm, looked both ways to make sure the road was clear, then hurried her across. She wasn’t taking any chances of an accident, not now she knew Nellie had a pin keeping her knickers up.

  It was Friday afternoon and Claire was due any time. Molly stood back and her eyes went over the table. It looked really nice, set off by a pure white linen tablecloth, which had been embroidered by her mother many years ago. Tiny colourful flowers were in each corner, and a circle of flowers in the centre. It was very seldom used as Molly treasured it, but she thought she would give it an outing today. And there were three place settings with her best cups and saucers, and two plates of sandwiches and cakes were set in the centre. ‘That looks nice, doesn’t it, sunshine?’

  ‘I’ll say it does, girl, it looks proper posh. There’s not many houses yer’d go in where they have those fancy bits of paper under the sandwiches and cakes. Only the likes of Buckingham Palace would have them.’

  ‘Those fancy bits of paper, as yer call them, are doilies, Nellie. And please don’t show yer ignorance when Claire is here, or she’ll think we’re not used to anything.’

  ‘I’ll be on me best behaviour, girl, but don’t expect me to be all lah-de-dah. I am what I am, and if anyone doesn’t like it, then sod ’em. That’s what I say.’

  Just as Molly chuckled, there came a knock on the door. ‘This will be Claire, sunshine, and I’m sure she likes yer just the way yer are, so there’ll be no need to tell her to sod off.’

  Much to Nellie’s delight, Claire came in carrying a cake bag. ‘I haven’t forgotten yer have a sweet tooth, Nellie, so I brought an extra cake each.’

  Nellie’s cheeks moved upwards and nearly covered her eyes. ‘That’s what I call a friend. I definitely won’t be telling yer to sod off, girl, no matter what Molly says.’

  Molly lifted her hands. ‘Don’t ask what she’s talking about, Claire, ’cos I couldn’t tell yer. My mate has a mind that only she can understand. Anyway, the kettle’s on the boil, so sit yerself down while I make the tea.’

  Nellie rested her elbows on the arms of the carver chair, and folded her arms under her bosom. ‘Me and Molly went half each with the ham and cakes, girl, so there’d be no argument over whose turn it was to pay.’

  Molly came through carrying the teapot in one hand and the chrome stand in the other. When they were safely on the table, she glared at her mate. ‘Have yer told Claire how many blankets I’ve got on me beds, Nellie?’

  ‘Why would I do tha
t, girl? Even if I knew how many blankets yer’ve got on yer beds, I’m sure Claire wouldn’t be interested. I mean, it’s hardly exciting enough to send her into raptures, is it?’

  ‘Well, the fact that we went halfy-halfy with the ham and cakes is hardly newsworthy enough to make the front page of the News of the World, is it?’

  Claire was thinking what a pleasure it was to be in the company of these two women, who were gifted with such a fabulous sense of humour. ‘Why don’t yer sit down, Molly, and I’ll pour the tea?’

  Nellie nodded. She would never have offered to pour the tea herself, but it was nice that Claire did. ‘You muck in, girl, and make yerself at home. And when ye’re settled, me and Molly are dying to know how ye’re getting on with yer mystery man. Have yer got any further with him, d’yer think? I mean, has he asked yer for a date yet?’

  ‘Nellie McDonough, I’m ashamed for yer!’ Molly was red in the face. ‘Give the girl time to sit down before yer bombard her with questions. I’ve never known anyone so cheeky in all me life. Claire will tell us as much as she wants, when she wants.’

  ‘Ooh, ye’re a sly article, Molly Bennett. Ye’re sitting there like little Miss Prim and Proper, while all the time ye’re as nosy as me.’

  ‘I am not as nosy as you, sunshine, and you know it. I’ll admit to being inquisitive, but I am not as nosy as you.’

  Nellie’s tongue clicked on the roof of her mouth. ‘Did yer hear that, Claire? She can’t be nosy in a common way like me, she’s got to be nosy in a posh way.’

  Claire handed the cups out. ‘Be quiet, both of yer. I have got some news, and I will tell yer, but only after I’ve had a sandwich and a drink of tea. I’m hungry and thirsty.’

  ‘Go ahead, sunshine, and we’ll join yer.’ Molly smiled sweetly at Nellie. ‘Pass the sandwich plate over, Nellie, after yer’ve taken what yer want.’

  Nellie smiled back just as sweetly. ‘Ye’re not half polished, girl. If my sideboard was as highly polished as what you are, I’d only ever have to dust it.’

  Much to Claire’s delight, the insults kept flying across the table, one mate trying to outdo the other. Neither of them ran out of answers, and they were hilarious. ‘Do you two ever fall out? I mean, really fall out?’

  The two friends looked at her as though she’d gone soft. ‘What would we want to fall out for, girl?’ Nellie asked. ‘When ye’re lucky enough to have a good mate, yer don’t want to be falling out. Life’s too short.’ She picked up the plate with the cakes on and held it out to Molly. ‘Here yer are, girl, you have first pick. But I wouldn’t advise yer to take the one near me thumb, ’cos by accident, me thumb ran right down the side of it and got itself covered in cream. It’s still on me finger, so I could put it back. But I know yer wouldn’t enjoy the cake if I did that, so I’ll lick me finger when yer’ve made up yer mind which one to have. I don’t know why ye’re taking so long – they’re all the same. Oh, and don’t forget the three Claire brought, so that’s another one each still to come.’

  ‘We’ll have them with a fresh pot of tea before Claire goes. I couldn’t eat two cream cakes one after the other, but I’ll enjoy one later.’

  Claire could feel Nellie’s eyes on her as she bit into her cake and then ran her tongue over her lips to lick the cream. ‘Two more bites, Nellie, then it’ll be news time. Nothing to write home about, like, but still a bit of news.’

  ‘I don’t care if yer make it up as yer go along, girl, as long as yer put a bit of spice into it.’

  Molly felt so awful when Claire began to describe what the man looked like and how he dressed, she couldn’t look the other woman in the face. But Nellie sat there drinking it all in, even asking what colour hair he had, when she’d been as close to him on Tuesday as she was to Claire now. Never again, Molly was telling herself. I’ll never again do anything so underhanded. But as Claire started to tell them her news, Molly relaxed a little and sat forward to listen with interest.

  ‘It was just friendly conversation at first, after I’d served him. You know, how the weather was getting warmer now, and wasn’t it nice to walk in the park and see the trees and flowers in bud. Then he asked how long I’d been a widow. He told me he’d never married because he didn’t want to leave his mother after his father died suddenly. He said she was heartbroken, and he felt he should stay with her. Time passed, and he’s still living with her.’

  ‘Ooh er, he must be interested to have told yer all that,’ Nellie said, ‘Did he tell yer where he worked, or where he lived?’

  Claire shook her head. ‘Not on Tuesday he didn’t.’ She looked from one intent face to the other. ‘But he came back on Wednesday. I nearly fainted with shock when he walked in. He’s only ever come the two days. Anyway, a customer came in straight after him, and I had to serve her. Then another came in, and I just shrugged my shoulders and told him the shop got busy just before we closed for the dinner hour. And I was really surprised when he said he’d come back later in the afternoon.’

  ‘Ay, he’s keen, isn’t he, girl? He’s a man what means business.’ Nellie was over the moon. This news would keep her mind active until bedtime. ‘He’s not short of a bob or two, either, is he?’ The kick Molly aimed at her shin was hard enough to warn Nellie to watch her words. ‘That’s according to what you told us, girl.’

  ‘Oh, he’s not short of money, yer can see that by his clothes. He is always immaculately dressed. And he’s polite and well spoken.’

  Molly asked, ‘And did he come back in the afternoon?’

  ‘Yes.’ Claire nodded. ‘He asked if I would like to go to the theatre with him one night. I got all flustered, and he must have thought me really childish. Me mind was split in two, ’cos he seems quite genuine, and he’s very easy to talk to, but I hardly know the man. It all seemed to be happening too quickly. I would prefer to wait a while until I know him better and feel more easy in his company.’

  Nellie waved her hand as though brushing these objections aside. ‘Yer’ll never get to know him if yer don’t go out with him. Yer can’t build up a romance over a ruddy shop counter. I think yer’d be daft if yer didn’t jump at the chance.’

  But Molly thought otherwise. ‘If ye’re not sure, Claire, then put him off for a while. At least until yer feel more confident. No matter how much money he’s got, or how nicely he dresses and speaks, that still doesn’t automatically make him a nice person. Don’t rush into something unless yer feel right about it.’

  Nellie huffed. ‘What bleeding harm can she come to in a theatre? He’s hardly likely to ravage her, or strangle her in front of hundreds of people. Where’s yer sense of romance, Molly Bennett? If she finds she doesn’t like him there’s no harm done, and at least she’ll have been to the theatre and lived it up for one night. And I bet he’d have bought her one of those big boxes of chocolates what are tied with a ribbon and have a big bow on the front.’

  Molly winked at Claire. ‘My mate would sell her soul for a box of chocolates. She doesn’t just have a sweet tooth, she has a craving.’

  Nellie was quick to turn the tables. ‘Ye’re right, girl, as usual. But it’s not me biggest craving, as yer would know if yer lived next door to me. The noises coming from me bedroom most nights would tell yer what me biggest craving is.’

  Claire’s laugh ricocheted off the walls, while Molly looked horrified. ‘I thought this was one time I’d be spared yer bedroom antics, Nellie, but yer don’t seem to have any shame in yer. Now, if yer can clear yer mind of cravings, could we ask Claire what the eventual outcome was? Is she going out with the man or not?’

  ‘Nothing was arranged, Molly, so he’s coming in again on Monday. Yer see, it was all so quick, I didn’t have time to think it out properly. The children were on me mind, and I wondered what they’d think about me going out with a man. Amy doesn’t remember her dad, but Ken idolised him. And me going out with a man might upset him. So I explained this to Graham, and to give him his due, he said he understood.’

  ‘Is that his nam
e?’ Molly asked. ‘Graham?’

  ‘Yeah, Graham Collins. He said if I explained to the children, he was sure they would understand. Especially Ken, who might be pleased his mother was getting some pleasure out of life. Anyway, I said I’d let him know when he comes in on Monday. So I’ve got the weekend to think it over. In me head, part of me is saying I should throw caution to the wind and go out with him. I’m not old yet, and I should be glad of the opportunity to get some social life. Then the other part is telling me it would be wrong.’

  ‘Have yer said anything to the children yet?’ Molly asked. ‘It might help yer decide if yer know what their views are.’

  ‘I intend to do that tonight, and get it over with. A lot will depend on their reaction. I’ll call again next Friday and let yer know.’ Claire turned in her chair and reached for the cake bag she’d put on the sideboard. ‘Now, anyone for another cake? Nellie, can I tempt yer?’

  Molly chuckled. ‘What a silly question to ask.’

  ‘I think I could manage another one, girl, seeing as yer asked.’ Nellie took a cake from the bag, and by the time Claire and Molly each had one in their hand, Nellie’s had disappeared. All that remained to prove she had been given a cream slice was the line of cream round her mouth. And her tongue soon took care of that.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Claire left about half past four, after saying she’d see them the following Friday to let them know if she’d decided to go out with Graham Collins. It all rested on the reaction of her two children. If they showed signs of being upset, then she would turn him down, no matter what her own feelings were.

  After saying goodbye to her at the door, Molly walked back to the living room, but she didn’t sit down. ‘You can go home now, Nellie, so I can clear the table and then start on the dinner. Yer’ve got yer own dinner to see to, anyway.’

  ‘Ah, ay, girl, just give us another few minutes. It doesn’t take long to cook sausage and mash. I’ll easy have it done before George and Paul get in from work.’