MB07 - Three Little Words

by Joan Jonker

  ‘I think they were hoping you’d help them with that, as ye’re used to catering. What would you suggest?’

  ‘I’ve got a menu you can take with yer to show them. It’s only something I’ve written out, it’s nothing posh. But it’ll give them an idea. It’s got thirty shillings a head written on it, but with there being youngsters, and ’cos ye’re good customers, I’m sure Tom would agree to twenty-five bob a head. That will include pots of tea, but yer’ll have to sort yer own drinks out. We’ll supply the records as usual, and with it being Sunday the next day, yer know yer’ll have to be off the premises before midnight.’ Edna closed the large black book. ‘I think that’s about it, Molly, so see what they have to say and let me know first thing Monday morning so I can fill the date in.’

  ‘Thanks, Edna. That all sounds fine to me. What do you think, sunshine?’

  ‘I think it’s just the job, girl, just the job!’ Nellie was nodding as though she’d just agreed to a very important deal. ‘Can’t wait for it.’

  ‘I’m afraid yer’ll have to wait, sunshine, unless yer can talk Edna into letting yer stay here until the night of the party. You could always get behind the counter and help her serve.’

  Edna Hanley had her first real laugh of what had been a very busy, and very hot, day. ‘Oh, Molly, can yer just picture it? Nellie in an apron that fitted where it touched, and giving daggers to anyone wanting to buy a cream slice? In fact she’d probably hide the tray under the counter and tell customers we’d none left.’ There came another bout of laughter before she said, ‘By the end of the first day, she’d have insulted every one of me customers, and sent them off with a flea in their ear.’

  Nellie looked proper put out. ‘No I wouldn’t! Not all of them, anyway. Only the ones what I don’t like.’

  ‘Nellie,’ Molly said, clicking her tongue, ‘that would include half the people who live round here.’ Then suddenly Molly seemed to come to life. ‘Ay, Edna, on second thoughts Nellie could possibly bring yer more custom than yer could cope with. When the women in the neighbourhood heard Nellie was serving here, they’d be round like a shot to witness the fights. She’d be great entertainment value, ’cos they’d come from as far afield as the Pier Head to Seaforth docks. Particularly if they knew the time Elsie Flanaghan came in for her loaf. Yer’d have all the women getting their housework done very early, so they could spend the rest of the day outside this shop being entertained for nothing.’

  Edna raised her brows and pursued her lips. ‘I think yer might have something there, Molly. It would put a bit of excitement into me life. All I’d have to do is put a chair behind the counter and let the fun begin.’ She nodded her head slowly. ‘Yeah, I’ll mention it to Tom tonight when we’re having our meal. The only thing is, though, being in the bakery every morning, he’d miss half the fun, and that might influence his thinking.’

  ‘Excuse me,’ Nellie said, leaning on the counter, ‘but do I get a say in this? Before yer say anything to yer husband, let me tell yer what me terms are. I don’t put on shows for nothing, yer know. As a highly professional entertainer, I would expect a reasonable fee from yer, plus as many cream slices a day as I could eat. Now those are my terms, so yer can take it or leave it.’

  ‘Far be it from me to interfere,’ Molly said, ‘but I can get yer a better deal than that, Edna. I could arrange for Nellie to trip up one of the women she doesn’t like, right outside yer shop. Yer’d get the publicity and it wouldn’t cost yer a penny.’

  ‘Since when have you been my manager, girl?’ Nellie was still leaning on the counter and she had to half turn her body to look up at her mate. ‘I’d never get to be famous with you telling folk I’ll trip people up for nothing. And I wouldn’t trip anyone up, either.’ After a few seconds her chubby fingers began to tap on the counter. ‘Well, perhaps there’s one or two who I’d like to see with a flat face. But if it ever comes to pass, Edna Hanley, I want two free cream slices.’

  ‘Ah, that’s nice of yer to think of treating Molly to a cake.’

  It didn’t take Nellie long to be upstanding. ‘What d’yer mean, treat Molly to a cake? She might be me best mate what loves the bones of me, but not where cream slices are concerned. If she wants one, let her trip someone up for a change.’

  ‘Ooh, look at the time,’ Molly said, glancing at the clock on the wall. ‘Come on, sunshine, let’s put our skates on. I’ll see Corker tonight, Edna, and let yer know first thing on Monday morning.’

  ‘Ask him if there’s any invites going,’ Edna called after her. ‘I’ve always promised meself to come to one of your parties, but I’ve never had the nerve to ask.’

  Molly turned round. ‘There was nothing to stop yer joining in, Edna. We would have been made up to have yer. After all, it’s your room we’re in. And I’m sure Corker wouldn’t mind yer coming up and sharing the fun. Because we’ve had loads of fun in that room upstairs. Not that I need to tell yer that – yer must hear it for yerself.’

  ‘I know, that’s why I’m cadging an invite! I’m fed up hearing the laughter and cheering, and never hearing the joke! But if yer think it sounds cheeky, don’t mention it to Corker.’

  ‘I’ll ask him in a nice way, sunshine, don’t worry.’

  Nellie nodded. ‘My mate’s very good at asking people in a nice way. It’s the way she does it that counts, and it shows she was well brought up. She wouldn’t trip anyone up, even if she hated the sight of them.’

  There was a loud gasp from Molly. ‘Even if I hated them? Nellie, there’s no one in the whole wide world that I hate. There may be a few I wouldn’t choose to be friends with, but I don’t hate them.’

  ‘Yer did hate somebody once, girl, I remember.’

  ‘And who was that, Nellie?’

  Nellie looked smug. ‘Adolf Hitler. Yer hated him, and don’t try saying yer didn’t ’cos yer told me yer would strangle him if yer could get yer hands on him. That’s when the war was on, and Steve, Phil and Tommy were in the army.’

  Molly looked back at Edna and shrugged her shoulders. ‘There’s no answer to that, is there? And I may as well tell yer, before my mate does, that there was a time during the war when I wondered how to get in touch with Mr Churchill, so I could suggest to him that Nellie would make an ideal secret weapon.’

  ‘Oh, yeah, I remember that, and yer—’ Nellie didn’t get any further, for she was literally yanked off her feet. But not to be outdone, when she was standing on the pavement with Molly, she shouted in, ‘I’ll tell yer the rest next time I see yer. Me mate seems to be in a hurry right now, so I won’t upset her any more ’cos I hate to see a grown woman cry.’

  After Edna had waved them off, she went into the bakery where her husband was busy washing the ovens and baking tins. ‘Jimmy Corkhill is booking the room upstairs for a party one Saturday night. All the gang are coming, the Bennetts, the McDonoughs and the rest. And if yer remember at their last party, when Lily McDonough got married, I vowed I’d go to the next one they had. So, after I’ve seen to everything, I’m going to doll meself up and join them.’

  Tom threw the wet cloth back into the water. ‘Yer can’t just walk in and join a party, love, no matter how much yer’d like to. They’re customers. They’ll be paying to use the room and they won’t expect you to invite yerself.’

  ‘Oh, I know that, light of my life – that’s why I’ve asked Molly to ask for me. For the last four or five years, my one ambition in life has been to go to one of their parties. I’m fed up listening to the laughter and jollification. I want to be part of it. I don’t think it’s too much to ask, do you?’

  ‘No, it isn’t, love, I agree. And I hope yer get the invitations.’ Tom narrowed his eyes. ‘Did yer notice I said invitations, which means yer take me with yer?’

  ‘It hadn’t gone unnoticed, my love, so we’ll both have to keep our fingers crossed. Molly’s coming in early Monday morning with the date and details of the buffet.’ Edna turned to go back into the shop, and said over her shoulder, ‘Oh, an
d without you and me, there’ll be thirty-two to cater for.’ She hurried away before the flood of questions started. What was the use of worrying about being overcrowded when the people having the party wouldn’t care if they had to sit on the floor? And if there was going to be anything to worry about, it could keep until Monday. She was talking to herself as she walked into the shop, ‘The only thing I’ll worry about is not being invited. Even that won’t stop me, ’cos I’ll gatecrash.’

  There was a strange look on her daughter’s face. ‘Mam, am I hearing things, or were you just talking to yerself?’

  ‘Was I, love? I couldn’t tell yer, ’cos I was too busy listening to what I was saying.’ She grinned. ‘Don’t worry, Emily, I don’t think it’s time to send for the men in white coats. Not for a while, anyway.’

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  ‘This basket’s not half heavy, girl, me arm’s dropping off.’ Nellie was red in the face and the perspiration rolled down her forehead. ‘We should have got the spuds in yesterday, and made life easier for ourselves.’

  ‘I’m sorry I can’t help yer, sunshine, but my basket’s just as heavy, and there’s no way I could carry both.’ Molly gave a smile of encouragement. ‘Not far now, we’re nearly home.’

  They turned the corner into their street, and Molly was surprised to see Corker walking ahead of them. ‘Oh, I forgot it’s only half day Saturday. I can give Corker the list now, save calling tonight.’ She put her free hand to the side of her mouth, and shouted, ‘Corker, hang on, I’ve got something for yer.’

  Ever the gallant gentleman, Corker hurried towards them and relieved them of their baskets. ‘Let me give yer a hand, ladies.’

  ‘Ooh, thanks, Corker, ye’re a godsend,’ Nellie told him. ‘It weighs a ton, that ruddy basket. Look, that arm is six inches longer than the other.’

  The big man chortled. ‘Did yer not think of swapping over now and again, to spread the weight a bit? Then each of yer arms would be three inches longer.’

  ‘It’s too bleeding hot to think, Corker. But next time I’m weighed down I’ll remember what yer said.’

  ‘I’ve got all the information off Edna Hanley for yer, Corker,’ Molly said. ‘Dates available, menu for the buffet, and the charge. So if yer want to come in for a minute I can let yer have them, and you and Ellen can see what yer think.’ She took the front door key from her pocket, then said, ‘Would yer be an angel and help Nellie into her house with her basket? If yer put mine down, I’ll manage to take it through to the kitchen.’

  ‘No, that’s all right, Corker,’ Nellie was quick to say. ‘I’ll come in with Molly and yer can carry it home for me when I leave.’

  ‘Oh, no, yer don’t, sunshine,’ Molly said from the top step. ‘I’ve got no time to stand talking, ’cos Jack and Ruthie will be in soon. While Corker’s looking at the list, I’ll be putting me sausages on.’ Molly raised her eyes to the sky. ‘Don’t be giving me that forlorn look, either, ’cos it won’t work right now. I’ll be seeing yer tonight, and if there’s anything to tell, I’ll tell yer then. So off yer go, sunshine, and get the dinner ready for yer family.’

  As she turned towards her house, her head hung low, Corker heard her muttering, ‘Calls herself a friend! Some ruddy friend she is. The trouble with her is she’s man mad. Can’t wait to get Corker on his own. I feel sorry for him – he doesn’t stand a chance. I bet she puts the sausages on as fast as she can, so when he goes back there she can have her wicked way with him before Jack comes in.’

  With her basket in one of his huge hands, Corker put an arm across her shoulder. ‘Nellie, me darlin’, I’ve never been that lucky in me life.’

  She twisted her neck to look up at him. ‘Well, yer ship might have come in today, Corker. If I see yer coming out of her house with a smile on yer face, I’ll tell Ellen on yer.’

  Corker took Nellie’s front door key from her. ‘Let me open the door for yer, me darlin’, and I’ll take the basket through to yer kitchen.’ He placed the heavy basket on the draining board, put a serious expression on his face and bent down so their eyes were on a level. ‘Nellie, me darlin’, if I come out of Molly’s with a smile on me face, I’ll give yer a knock.’

  Nellie’s body shook with laughter. ‘Ooh, it won’t be no good knocking here, Corker. I wouldn’t have time to broaden that smile, ’cos George and Paul will be in any minute. Catch me another time, eh?’

  ‘Ooh, I doubt that. For if Jack doesn’t kill me, me wife definitely will.’

  Nellie walked behind him to the door. ‘I’m not a snitch, lad, so yer secret will be safe with me. I’ll snitch on Molly, though, after she turned me away from her door.’

  ‘Didn’t I hear Molly telling yer to get the sausages on for yer husband’s dinner? I bet when I go in her house I’ll smell the sausages and hear them sizzling away.’

  ‘Okay, Corker, I get the point. Before yer put yer foot on Molly’s step, my sausages will be in the frying pan. They won’t be smelling or sizzling, but they’ll be in the frying pan, so at least when George comes in I’ll have shown willing.’

  The big man was grinning when he walked into Molly’s. ‘Don’t ask me to tell yer why, but make sure I don’t go out of here with a smile on me face.’

  Molly frowned. ‘I don’t understand. What do yer mean?’ Then she shook her head. ‘It’s that mate of mine, isn’t it?’ Then she lifted an open hand. ‘No, don’t answer that, Corker, ’cos I know I’ll end up with a face the colour of beetroot.’

  ‘I was pulling yer leg, Molly, for yer mate didn’t say a word out of place. But she has a way with words that nobody else has. Harmless, but funny.’

  ‘Sit yerself down, Corker, and yer can look at the menu while I see to the sausages. My husband is a very easy-going man, but when it comes to food, he has one hate. He can’t stand burnt sausages.’

  After a few minutes, Corker came to stand at the kitchen door. ‘The menu seems fine, I couldn’t fault it. And the charge is fair enough. I can’t see Ellen disagreeing, either, so as far as I’m concerned we can go ahead.’

  ‘Edna’s reduced the charge to twenty-five bob, Corker, ’cos I told her there were youngsters coming, and she took into account we are good customers.’

  Corker pulled on his beard. ‘That’s good of her, I must say. I know she’ll put a good table on for us. She always has done for your weddings.’

  Molly turned the sausages over before asking, ‘Would yer think I was cheeky if I asked a favour of yer?’

  ‘After all the favours yer’ve done for me and Ellen over the years, Molly, you can have anything yer ask for.’

  ‘Well, it’s not for me personally, Corker, it’s for Edna Hanley. Yer see, she told me today that the one ambition in her life has been to come to one of our parties. She said she’s had to listen to the laughter and singing, and has always been jealous. And she has been very good to my family, when the girls got married, and our Tommy, so I wondered if yer’d mind if she showed her face at your party?’

  Corker’s blue eyes twinkled. ‘Molly, me darlin’, yer can tell Edna it would be a pleasure to have her and her husband at the party. They’ll both be very welcome.’ Again he pulled on his beard. ‘In fact perhaps it would be nice if I called in the shop one day and invited her and Tom. What do yer say?’

  ‘That would be lovely, Corker. She’d be so pleased.’

  ‘What would be lovely?’ Jack asked, coming in from the hall. ‘And who would be so pleased?’

  Corker slapped Jack on the back, nearly knocking him over. ‘We’re all fixed up for the party, me old mate, so it’s all systems go. It’s either three weeks tonight or five weeks, but I’ll check that with Ellen when she comes in. And to answer yer question, the person who would be so pleased is Edna Hanley. Her and Tom are now on the guest list.’

  Ruthie had come in unnoticed, and heard the last part of the conversation. ‘What guest list, Uncle Corker? Is someone getting married?’

  ‘No, me darlin’, no one is getting married.
’ His hands spanned her slim waist and she was lifted high. ‘Me and yer Auntie Ellen are giving a party for all our friends and neighbours.’

  She looked down into his bright blue eyes. ‘Am I going to be invited? I’m both a friend and a neighbour?’

  ‘Of course yer are, and yer friend Bella. It goes without saying that my children will be there, and yer friends Johnny and Jeff. It’ll be a grand party, with all our friends, and we’ll have a wonderful time.’

  The girl’s face was aglow as she pulled on the end of his bushy moustache. ‘Thank you, Uncle Corker, and as me grandma would say, it’s a fine figure of a man yer are, to be sure. I know it will be a fantastic party, and it’s given me something to look forward to. Will yer put me down now, so I can go and tell Bella? She’ll be thrilled to bits.’

  Molly came through wiping her hands down her pinny. ‘I’ll agree to Corker putting you down, sunshine, but not about yer going to Bella’s. Yer’ll be seeing her later, so yer can tell her then. But don’t get too excited ’cos we haven’t got a definite date yet.’

  ‘I’ll have to get a new dress for it, Mam. I’ve got nothing good enough for a party.’

  ‘There’s plenty of time, sunshine. And the way yer said that, anyone would think yer didn’t have a stitch to yer back.’

  ‘Well, I’m sure yer wouldn’t want a daughter of yours to look frumpy, would yer, Mam? Think what people would say.’

  ‘She’s fourteen, Corker, and acts like twenty-four.’

  ‘Mam, I’m fourteen years, nine months and five days. So as I’m fed up telling yer, I’m nearer fifteen than fourteen.’

  ‘She’s got a point,’ Corker said, while thinking this youngest daughter of Molly’s was going to be as headstrong as Doreen was at her age. It was falling in love with Phil that had changed Doreen into the loving, caring wife and mother she was now. ‘She is just like Doreen was at this stage.’