by Kimmy Love
Dee had been feeling closer to him every day, and now that she had his child inside of her, she felt even more connected, except, when they were on that couch, it felt like they were a mile away. She had a piece of him inside of her, but at the same time, she didn’t know how to reveal that information to him. She was so terrified of his reaction that she thought about waiting until the baby was born to spring the surprise on him.
“I’m so excited about the shoot, are you?” he asked, looking up from his paper and sipping his coffee.
“I am,” she told him.
“I’m excited to get you behind the camera again. I wasn’t sure if you would work with me again after what we did in the Bahamas,” he told her. What did that mean? Could he get any more cryptic about their relationship?
“It’s all just so crazy to me. I never would have dreamed I’d be modeling one day,” she told him.
“That’s crazy to me. Every time I look at you I see a unique face that deserves to be spread all over for everyone to see,” he told her. Her heart almost stopped.
Dee didn’t know what to do. He was so enthused about the line that she didn’t want to bring his spirits down in case he wasn’t going to be completely excited about bringing a child into the world. She knew how he felt about children. He’d be in his sixties by the time he or she graduated high school, probably unable to spend time with the baby as an adult. Dee wasn’t even sure if she wanted to keep it yet. Ricardo had seemed to be figuring it all out, but Dee felt more lost than ever.
“What would I do without you?” he said to Dee. He leaned in and kissed her on the cheek, slowly moving to her mouth.
“Keisha’s still asleep,” she told him. He leaned in and kissed her again, lifting her up for a moment. She felt paralyzed by his touch. He just told her the nicest most incredible thing anyone had ever told her. She had days where she felt so ugly she didn’t want to leave the house, and here was this man reminding her how incredibly stunning she was. Dee was melting in his hands. She had forgotten momentarily about her pregnancy, his soft kisses around her neck confirming that this was certainly not the time to tell him the truth.
He kissed her neck and she stretched her head back as far as she could. He kissed slowly down her chest, unbuttoning the jean collared shirt she had slipped on to go to the store. She didn’t even bother to put on a bra, her hard nipples getting teased by her shirt as he slipped it over her shoulders. She leaned in and kissed him, slowly pushing her hand up his pants. He was wearing knit joggers, like usual, no socks and just a white T-shirt.
It was the perfect kind of cold and frosty morning to get cozy with someone in comfy clothes on the couch. He ran his fingers through her hair, squeezing gently on her curly strands. He leaned over her, kissing her neck as she lay back onto the couch. She caused the blanket to fall off the back, remembering the tragedy that had occurred to the clean white couch the night before.
Dee pulled her arms out of the button-up, letting it fall around her. He slipped his T-shirt off, letting his warm skin touch Dee’s bare chest. She spread her legs wide, letting him grind closely on her waist. She was feeling herself get wet, ready for him already. With each grind, she could feel him getting harder and harder.
He turned her around, planting gentle kisses across her bare shoulders. He slipped her sweatpants down and did his as well in a quick motion. He entered Dee slowly from behind, pushing her stomach flat on the cushy couch. He got deep first, then slowly pulled out so he could bend down to kiss her back again. He lifted her back up a bit, so he could wrap his arms around her, grinding her deep into the couch. Dee couldn’t help but let out a moan, muffling her screams of pleasure into the cushion of the couch.
He took things slow and long at first, completely pulling himself out of Dee and entering slowly again as she pushed herself back onto him. He teased her for a bit, getting her pulsing and dripping, wanting him to stay inside of her as long as possible. When he had enough teasing, he started pounding quickly and precisely, hitting her spot and squeezing her butt hard into him. She could hear him moan, knowing she should squeeze her own muscles to orgasm. Just as she did, he pulled out, spilling hot liquid over her backside.
He ran to grab a towel, wiping Dee down so she could pull her pants back up. He got rid of the towel and lay down next to Dee on the couch. Just as she thought she was going to drift off for a morning nap, she heard Keisha call her name from up above.
Chapter8
“Finally!” her sister said with an attitude as Dee walked through her mother’s door. Dee had been expected to bring the cake to her nephew Roman’s second birthday party, so Sydney was less than pleased that she had arrived late. Janet only told her a day in advance that’s what she needed to get, however, and it wasn’t easy for her to find too much on short notice Sunday morning.
She had spent the day lounging on the couch with Ricardo and Keisha, having too good of a lazy Saturday to potentially spoil the day with a pregnancy announcement. Ricardo and Keisha were bonding. That might not have been a good thing, as she wasn’t sure if Ricardo would end up sticking around, but Dee certainly liked seeing the two play and laugh together.
“Did you guys even eat dinner yet?” she asked. Sydney’s boyfriend was helping grill hamburgers and hotdogs for her son’s birthday.
“No, but you know how Roman loves his food. He’s been whining about the cake all day,” Sydney responded. Roman loved his food indeed, especially sweets. Dee got him a massive cookie cake as well as two dozen cupcakes that were all frosted together to look like one giant monster.
“Yeah, well she probably got a little lost on the way coming from her fancy ass apartment downtown,” Janet said, lighting a cigarette.
“Mom, please, there are kids here, can you just take it outside for a day?” Sydney asked, pushing her mother towards the door. Janet never really seemed to care about smoking in front of the kids. Dee was lucky she was still healthy, knowing her mother would smoke in the car with the windows rolled up when they were kids.
“Sis, you seem stressed, how can I help?” Dee asked, noticing her sister was frantically trying to keep it together for his birthday party.
“Follow me, I got a long list of things to do,” Sydney told her sister. Keisha had run off to find the other kids to play, Janet enjoying her cigarette in the front of the house.
Dee hated Sydney’s boyfriend, also Roman’s father, so she was pleased he was outside alone in the cold grilling up the hamburgers and hotdogs. That meant she’d also get a chance to talk to Sydney alone about her pregnancy. She knew that her little sister would definitely be the next person for her to spill the news to.
“I have something to tell you, but you have to promise me that you won’t say anything to Mom just yet,” Dee said terrified as she sliced onions and tomatoes for the burgers.
“Is it about you and that dude hooking up? Mom said there was a vibe,” Sydney asked.
“Of course, you and Mom would be talking already,” Dee told her sister. “It’s so much more than that though.”
“So, you are hooking up with him?” Sydney said as she poured chips into a bowl.
“Why you got to be extra like that? Can’t you just keep them in the bag? Now they going to be all stale and I’m going to be the one to wash the bowl,” Nancy said as she walked into the kitchen.
“Don’t worry about it Grandma! We good!” Sydney said. She loved throwing parties.
“Hi baby,” Nancy said, kissing Dee on the cheek. “Where’s my girl?”
“Off policing the birthday boy probably,” Dee said about Keisha. She helped to make sure that Roman didn’t get in too much trouble. Nancy left the kitchen and called for Keisha, Dee getting another chance to spill the beans to Sydney. She feared she didn’t have much time, however, and figured it was best to do it like waxing hair.
“I’m pregnant,” Dee said quickly and quietly.
“Sis, are you kidding right now? You seriously trapped this dude? You are my new hero!” Sydney said.
“What? Like abortion? Adoption?” Sydney asked, shocked. The girls never believed abortion was an option and having her own daughter and her sister having Roman, she didn’t think she could stomach adoption.
“I don’t know sis. I really don’t know,” Dee explained to her little sister.
“Mommy! Roman said that we’re bougie. What does that mean?” Keisha asked, running up to Dee. Though he was turning two, he still knew a few words, apparently one of them being “bougie.”
“Don’t look at me,” Sydney responded as Dee looked right at her. Dee realized her mom was probably the one bad-mouthing her behind her back.
“It means fancy baby don’t worry. Go play,” Dee told her daughter.
“Nice one,” Sydney responded.
“I can’t believe these kids are so old,” Dee responded. “And now we’re going to have another one running around?”
“Just wait till Jordan starts having kids,” Sydney responded.
“Where is he?” Dee asked. She felt like she hadn’t seen her brother in years. He usually kept to himself, but she certainly still missed him.
“Working. He couldn’t take the night off for his nephew’s birthday party, but don’t even get me started on that sis,” Sydney said angrily. She wasn’t one to forgive and forget.
Dee spent the rest of the party chatting with her family, watching the kids play, and partially feeling like she was betraying everyone by not telling the truth. What option did she have? She only peed on some plastic in the store, maybe she had some strange condition that made her have positive pregnancy tests.
She felt like she was suffocating in the crowded house, filled with neighbors’ kids and cousins of cousins of cousins. Dee just wanted to go home, realizing being with Ricardo and Keisha was now her home.
Chapter9
“Riri look at what I got!” Keisha said as soon as they opened the apartment door, the little girl excited to show off a balloon she took home from the party. Dee was exhausted from watching the kids run around all day. It wasn’t even all the way dark yet and she was ready for bed. The agony overcame her again when she remembered that she still had to tell the father of the baby inside of her that he was going to be a father.
“That is so amazing!” Ricardo said, taking the balloon from Keisha and examining it as if it were a rare object.
“Thanks, I love it,” Keisha told him.
“How was the birthday party?” he asked with a smile. It was nice to come home to see him so happy, but Dee couldn’t help but feel a little scared about keeping this secret from him.
“Families are tough,” she responded, not wanting to get into the details of the day.
“I’m sorry, but isn’t it great to celebrate another year of such a young and innocent life?” he asked. He was in a suspiciously good mood.
“I guess. You seem like you’re feeling pretty good,” she asked.
“How could I not?” he responded. He started tickling Keisha and she laughed hard. Dee was feeling guilty but reminded herself she shouldn’t. She was the one who had to be pregnant. She loved being pregnant with Keisha, but still, he could walk away if he really wanted to. She was growing this child and no matter what she chose to do, it wouldn’t just go away on its own. For that, she didn’t feel as guilty keeping the secret from him, knowing that what she was going through, the inner turmoil, was much worse than if he just found out he was going to be a father.
“You seem to have come a long way for someone that didn’t like children,” she said.
“Well, Keisha is a pretty sweet child. How could you not?” he said.
“Mommy can I go color?” Keisha asked.
“That’s fine baby give me your balloon though, I’ll keep it down here,” Dee said, a little paranoid about Keisha misusing the balloon or string when she was alone. She watched as Keisha walked up the stairs and into her room, Dee proud that she had such an independent little girl.
“Have you ever thought about having more children?” she asked bluntly. She wasn’t so sure she wanted to hear the answer to that tough question. She hadn’t even really thought too much about children. Every once in a while, the thought would pop into her mind, but she was too busy taking care of the first kid to really think about it.
“I never really thought about having the first one.” He laughed. “I don’t know that I’ve been the greatest father to my son. Having your own kid is different from just liking kids though, of course.”
Dee was getting more anxious by the second. He kept failing to give her a straight answer, but for Dee’s sake, maybe that was for the better. She felt like he was talking in code. She wanted to explode and crack open his brain. Was he so cryptic because he was trying to keep his distance?
“I’m pregnant,” she said, not realizing she was crying until a tear hit her chest. She felt instantly better, as though she was lighter than a feather.
“You are? When did this happen?” he asked. He looked down at the ground and then at Dee, his eyes magnified by his thick glasses. He looked so cute and innocent sitting on the couch. Dee just wanted to crawl over and kiss him, but that might not have been the most appropriate reaction.
“I’m assuming from the first night. That only makes sense,” she told him honestly. She really couldn’t think of another time that it would have happened. It was a couple of weeks ago, so the other times they made love weren’t far enough away to make sense. She found out early, but she figured maybe it was because it was the second time. She felt like when she knew she would know.
“How do you know for sure it’s mine?” he responded. He looked a bit angry and Dee was a bit hurt that he didn’t fully trust her. She hadn’t given him any reason not to, but then again, she hadn’t given him a reason to blindly trust her.
“I know!” she yelled back, offended that he would assume otherwise. He was the only man she had been with in almost a year. It wasn’t easy for someone with a toddler to date or even sleep around. She also shared a room with her sister, so the intimacy in her life was incredibly low.
“I have to think,” he told Dee, silently walking upstairs to his office. She stood there sad and alone, holding a balloon. Dee didn’t know if she could feel any worse.
*****
Ricardo hadn’t come back out of his office for the rest of the day Sunday night, and although it was still early Monday morning, Dee had yet to see Ricardo come out. Part of her was fine with not having to discuss the pregnancy with him right at that moment, but the other part of her was anxiously waiting for him to come out. He didn’t seem mad when he went to his office, but still, he didn’t seem very happy either. It was clear that this wasn’t an easy bit of information for him to take in.
His door was sealed tight, not letting anyone in at all. Dee had walked by his office a few times, just hoping to get a glimpse of what might be going on behind those doors. He hadn’t kicked her out yet and she didn’t hear any yelling or screaming either, so she knew it couldn’t be too bad. She wanted to push the handle open on the door, but that would have felt a little too intrusive. She knew what was on the other side of that wall now, making it feel even more strange that he was still holed up inside of there. It’s not like he was watching hours of television or sitting at a computer. He clearly used the space to think, but it felt strange knowing that he was doing it all alone on the other side of the wall.
Since it was Monday, the chefs were already there preparing breakfast and coffee, and Anastasia had showed up as well. Dee wasn’t sure if she had her own apartment, was staying at a hotel, or if she was actually flying out to Detroit from L.A. every day. Dee didn’t really care enough either way, so she didn’t bother to ask. As long a
s she wasn’t staying in the same place Ricardo was every night, she didn’t really care.
Dee sat in the living room, sipping tea and listened to Anastasia’s clicking on the cement floor. She could hear the handle to his office door jiggle a bit as well, finding it a bit funny that even she wasn’t allowed in his room. She was suffering a bit without her morning caffeine, but the taste of the warm tea was enough to give her the placebo affect at least. Hearing that Anastasia was just as upset about Ricardo’s isolation helped to soothe her bitter mood a bit as well.
“Do you know what could have gotten into him?” Anastasia asked, confused as she walked down the stairs. “I thought he had a breakthrough. Why would he be locked up in there? He won’t answer my calls, he won’t answer when I knock, how do we even know that he’s OK?”
All of these were concerns that Dee had herself, but it was a bit entertaining to watch Anastasia act so frantically. She didn’t like her throwing out nervous ideas around Keisha, however, who was playing with her dolls on the ground. The doll that looked like Ricardo had turned up clean in her room, a relief for Dee as she didn’t know if her daughter was ever going to get that back.
“No idea,” Dee responded without even looking up from her magazine as she sipped her tea. Anastasia was clearly annoyed and stomped away. Dee wanted to tell her that it was because he was having difficulty accepting the fact that she was pregnant, wanting to see the look on Anastasia’s face when she revealed the shocking details. Instead, she kept to herself, enjoying the meltdown happening in front of her. Dee didn’t have much to do that day other than sit around waiting for direction from Ricardo, not her ideal way to spend a day. It was a Monday, at least, so anything beat Dee’s normal routine of heading to the store to get yelled at by rude customers.
Sitting around also meant that she’d have plenty of free space in her brain to let her anxieties stew. She wanted to play with Keisha, but sometimes Keisha enjoyed just playing alone with her dolls. Dee didn’t want to suffocate her now that she had all this extra free time to spend with her daughter. She worried about her child enough that she didn’t want to come off as a helicopter parent. She didn’t really think there was anything all that wrong with helicopters anyway.
