The Surprise

by Alice Ward

  “What the hell are you wearing?” I asked and would have laughed if I hadn’t been afraid the sound would shatter me.

  “What?” Brandon frowned and moved toward a mirror on the wall. He looked at himself and grimaced. “Well, that’s nice.”

  “What happened last night?” I asked weakly. “What the fuck did we do?”

  “I don’t know.” Brandon pressed his hands to the back of his neck and stumbled over to the bed. He sat down, and we both glanced at Dani to see if she’d woken up. “Whatever it was must have been pretty crazy, because there’s a pile of puke in the living room the size of Texas.”

  “Jesus,” I moaned. My head split open again.

  “I remember her,” Brandon said, pointing to Dani. “She left the strip club with us.”

  “I don’t even remember leaving,” I said softly. “I remember meeting her, but then everything else is a blank.”

  “She definitely left with us, but I don’t know where we went from there.” Brandon shook his head. “Maybe we just came back here?”

  “Maybe.” I wanted to believe Brandon, but something told me he was wrong. The size of my headache was enough to make me question everything. I wanted to wake up Dani and ask her, but I wasn’t ready to face her yet.

  “Her friend was a stripper,” Brandon said, his brow furrowed in concentration. “Or something, right?”

  “I have no idea. I wish I knew.”

  “Let’s wake her up,” Brandon suggested.

  “No. Let her sleep. She’ll probably freak out when she wakes up anyway.”

  Brandon pulled the wig off his head and tossed it onto the floor. “She might remember something though.”

  “If she does, she’ll still remember it in a few hours.”

  “What should we do until then?” Brandon asked, scratching his head.

  “I think I’m going to shower.” I tried to push myself off the bed, but I wasn’t strong enough. “Or not.”

  Brandon snickered then winced, his hand landing on his forehead. “You look like an ass.”

  “And you look like Elvis,” I shot back.

  “Very funny.”

  “I try.” I closed my eyes again, wanting nothing more than to fall asleep and wake up in a different body. I hated myself for getting that drunk. Like a million other mornings, I silently swore that I would never drink again. Even then, I knew it was a lie, but it made me feel better all the same.

  Brandon shot me a look. “You know what’s bothering me the most?”

  “What’s that?”

  “Why didn’t I bring a woman back? How did I strike out and you ended up with her?”

  Dani moaned and closed her mouth, and I realized just how pretty she was. “Luck of the draw.”

  “Bullshit,” Brandon muttered. “We both know I have more game than you.”

  “Maybe not in an Elvis costume,” I pointed out.

  “Hey,” he said sternly. “Elvis plays.”

  I barked out a laugh, immediately regretting it. “Whatever you say.”

  Dani groaned and rolled over. Brandon and I stared at her while her hand flew to her head. She groaned and rubbed her forehead between her thumb and forefinger. I wanted to say something, but I didn’t want to scare her. She probably didn’t even know where she was yet.

  As she rolled back over, her eyes flickered open and fell on my face. She blinked a few times before she jumped up and scooted away from me.

  I held up a hand. “It’s okay.”

  “Where the hell are we?” she demanded, then winced and pressed her hand to her head again.

  “Some penthouse,” I said and shrugged. “I don’t know where exactly.”

  “What the fuck happened last night?” she asked, repeating the question I’d asked myself a hundred times this morning.

  “We were hoping you could tell us,” Brandon said. Dani’s eyes turned to him, and she frowned. She looked from Brandon to me and then back again. I could see the wheels turning in her head, but she looked just as confused as we were.

  Without a word, Dani lifted the covers and peered underneath them. She breathed a sigh of relief and covered herself up again.

  “I don’t think anything happened,” I assured her.

  “Me neither. I’m still dressed.”

  I looked down at myself, hoping my morning I-haven’t-pissed-yet wood was gone. It wasn’t. “And I have my boxers on, so I think we’re good.”

  “Well, there’s that at least,” she said weakly.

  Dani fell back against her pillow and pushed out a breath. I could tell from her face that she was in pain. Her head was probably pounding, and I was sure her stomach was a wreck.

  “Maybe we should get some breakfast,” I suggested. “We could probably all use something to eat.”

  “God, I can’t even think about eating right now,” Dani groaned.

  “It’ll help,” Brandon assured her. “I’ll order room service.”

  With that, he headed back into the living room, and I turned to face the woman in my bed. I tried to smile, but it came out more like a grimace.

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “For whatever the hell happened last night.”

  She offered a tiny nod. “Me too. I just wish I knew what—”

  Dani suddenly stopped talking. She’d been wringing her hands together just seconds before, but she was now frozen. Her eyes widened in horror, and she turned slowly toward me.

  “What?” I was immediately on edge. “What is it?”

  Without a word, Dani held up her hand. I stared at it, not sure what to look for. When my eyes fell on her ring finger, I stopped breathing. There was a small gold band wrapped around her finger. It was her left hand. I looked down at my own hand. I wore a matching ring.

  In an instant, I flashed back to the night before. I remembered leaving the strip club with Dani on my arm and Brandon beside us. Brandon was screaming something at everyone we passed while Dani and I laughed nonstop. I couldn’t remember what Brandon yelled, but I could hear the tone of his voice. Happy. Jovial.

  “Did we…” I began, but I couldn’t finish the sentence. “I mean, we didn’t?”

  Her eyes nearly took up her entire face. “We couldn’t have. Right?”

  I didn’t know what to say. Just minutes before, I had no memories of the previous night, and now, the ones I did have were confusing and unclear. I couldn’t make sense of anything.

  “I ordered us some pancakes,” Brandon said, walking back in the bedroom. “And coffee. I think we all need coffee.”

  Dani and I just stared at him in horror. The second I saw him again, I had another flash. The three of us were standing in a chapel. Dani was holding flowers, and I had two rings in my hand. That was all I remembered, but it was enough to confirm my fears. I was married. Dani and I got married. Dani, a stranger, was my wife. I felt my stomach bottom out, and I ran to the bathroom. I barely made it before I hurled in the toilet.

  When I was done, I slowly made my way back to the bedroom. Brandon was frowning, clearly confused. He glanced at me, then back at Dani.

  “What’s going on with you guys?” he asked blankly. “Why do you both look like that?”

  I opened my mouth to explain, but Dani beat me to it. “You bought the suit off the minister.”

  The confused look only got worse. “What?”

  “I remember,” she said, louder this time. “We were in a chapel somewhere and you…” She gasped and pointed at my best friend. “You… There was a minister wearing an Elvis suit, and you bought it off him. You gave him three thousand dollars to trade clothes with you. You even… you even took the wig.”

  “I did?” Brandon laughed. “That’s nuts! Wait, why were we in a chapel?”

  Brandon’s eyes fell on my face and understanding finally dawned on him. His mouth fell open, and he took a step backward.

  “Holy shit,” Dani muttered. She put her head in her hands and whispered to herself. I wanted to say something to comfort her, but there wa
s nothing to say. We were both thoroughly freaked out.

  “I can’t believe this happened,” I said, falling onto the bed beside her. “How did we… How could we have…?”

  “I don’t know,” Dani said. “I don’t know. I barely remember anything. It’s just flashes of things, and nothing makes sense.”

  “Same here,” I admitted. “But I think it’s pretty obvious that—”

  “I know,” Dani interrupted. “Just don’t say it. Don’t say it.”

  We fell into an awkward silence broken only by Dani’s repeated whispers of “holy shit.” When I looked back at Brandon, he was staring at me with a grin on his face.

  I frowned and glared at him. “What the hell are you smiling about?” I demanded.

  “Nothing, man,” he said, still grinning. “I just… This is fucking crazy.”

  I glanced at the nearly catatonic Dani. “We know, but it isn’t funny.”

  Brandon shrugged. “It’s kind of funny.”

  “How?” Dani came alive, glaring at him. “How the hell is this funny?”

  “You’re married,” Brandon said with a nervous laugh. “You two are fucking married.”

  The second he said the words, everything suddenly became too real. I couldn’t process anything anymore. I leaned forward and let the ridiculous situation overwhelm me. I laughed softly, and Dani glanced at me in disbelief. Soon, I was laughing so hard that I couldn’t stop. Brandon joined me, and after a few seconds, so did my… gulp… wife.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Dani

  You two are fucking married.

  The words rang in my head even as the three of us sat in the bedroom laughing for what felt like hours. My stomach ached from the effort, and my head was pounding worse than ever, but I ignored all of that. The only thing I couldn’t ignore was my confusion. I was still unsure about how everything went down. Talen and I were married. Married. And I barely remembered any of the ceremony, if there even was a ceremony.

  After our laughter subsided, I squeezed my eyes closed and tried to focus. I thought about the previous night’s events. Madison dragged me to Vegas with her, and suddenly, it was Saturday night, and I was in a strip club. I remembered the bartender pouring me countless drinks, and I even remembered Talen joining me at the bar. I concentrated hard, but nothing else was clear. I knew Talen and I kissed at the strip club, but that was it. Everything else was a void of blackness. I remembered nothing but the tiny glimpses that I longed to forget.

  My anger came back hard and fast. I no longer felt the desire to laugh or even smile. I just wanted this nightmare to end. I wanted to go back to sleep and wake up in my own bed. I wished my entire adventure in Vegas had been a dream. Anger coursed through my veins as I looked back at Brandon and Talen. They were staring at each other, communicating silently the way Madison and I did.

  “This is a disaster,” I said.

  Brandon shrugged. “It’s not that bad.”

  “Not that bad?” I half yelled then pressed my fingers to my temples. “That’s easy for you to say. You aren’t the one wearing a wedding ring!” And when I tried to rip the damn thing off my finger, it wouldn’t budge. “Shit!”

  Brandon rolled his eyes. “Look. You guys can just get the marriage annulled, okay?”

  “We can?” Talen asked, then brightened. “We can.”

  “Of course, you can,” Brandon laughed. “Do you really think you’re the first two people to ever get married in Vegas? Come on. This happens. Just go get it annulled and put it behind you. Go today.”

  “It’s Sunday.” I was instantly annoyed with Brandon. He was standing there in his ridiculous Elvis costume, and I just wanted him to leave. Or, at the very least, shut up.

  “It’s Saturday,” Talen corrected with a frown. I looked at him blankly. Was he kidding?

  “He’s right,” Brandon said. “We came to Vegas yesterday, which was Friday, so today is—”

  “Sunday.” I searched for my phone and found it on the nightstand. I opened the calendar app and threw my phone at Talen. He looked at it and frowned.

  “Holy shit,” he said. “How did we forget an entire day?”

  “I guess you guys were drunker than you thought,” I snapped. “But that doesn’t really matter now, does it? What matters is that it’s Sunday, and we can’t get an annulment today. So, what are we going to do?”

  I felt panicked. In my entire life, I’d never done anything so stupid. I wasn’t perfect, and there were times when I even acted crazy, but getting married in Vegas was something different. I never imagined I would find myself in this situation. Here I was, sitting on a hotel room bed with two total strangers staring at me. One of which was my husband. Husband.

  Just thinking the word made me want to throw up. I was livid, both with myself and with my husband.

  “Maybe we should talk alone,” Talen said softly. “Dani?”

  I looked at him. His eyes bored into mine, and I could see the fear in them. I was terrified, but so was he. It wasn’t fair of me to blame him for everything. We were both drunk. We were both responsible for what happened. I sighed and nodded slowly. He was right. We needed to talk.

  “Let’s get freshened up and go get something to eat,” he suggested.

  “I ordered room service,” Brandon reminded us.

  “You can eat it,” Talen snapped. “Dani and I need to talk.”

  “Okay.” Brandon held up his hands in surrender and left the room. I watched him go, happy to see the back of him. Every word that came out of his mouth pissed me off.

  I pushed my hair back from my face. “I’m going to shower.” Even though I didn’t have any fresh clothes to change into, getting the smell of alcohol off me had to help.

  “Okay.” Talen nodded. “I’ll get dressed and wait for you.”

  I hurried into the bathroom and closed the door behind me. Wasting no time, I undressed and jumped into the shower, trying to wash off the stink of the night.

  ***

  Downstairs, Talen and I sat down for lunch. We hadn’t realized how late it was when we woke up but breakfast was long over. Our meal was awkward, but we tried to make small talk. I remembered very little, and Talen remembered even less. Part of me was angry with him, but another part felt bad. He’d clearly had a rough weekend, and our marriage wasn’t entirely his fault. Still, I wished he remembered at least some detail from the previous night. Instead, he only remembered my name.

  “I know,” Talen said. “I should remember more, but I—”

  “It’s fine. It’s not like I remember much either.”

  “I can’t believe any of this happened,” Talen said softly, sounding like a record on repeat.

  “Me neither.” I took a sip of my coffee and tried to think of something else to say. “I’m sorry.”

  “Yeah,” Talen said. I expected him to apologize too, but he didn’t. He just stared down at his plate of food with a blank expression. I could tell he was thinking about something, but I didn’t know how to ask him what it was. After all, we barely knew each other.

  “I remember meeting you at the strip club where my friend Madison works.”

  “Right.” Talen nodded. “I went there with Brandon.”

  “And I guess we all left together,” I said. “Though the only thing I remember after that is being in the chapel when Brandon bought the Elvis suit off that minister.”

  “I wish we knew more, but I guess it doesn’t matter now.” Talen shrugged. “It’s over.”

  I sighed. “You’re right.”

  We fell silent again, each of us picking at our food. I wasn’t hungry, but I knew I needed to eat. My stomach was still weak from the alcohol, and food would help. Still, I had to force it down my throat a bit, and it didn’t leave much time for talking. From the look on Talen’s face, he felt the same way. He grimaced each time his fork hit his lips.

  “God, I hate hangovers,” I groaned.

  “Me too,” Talen agreed. “I think this is my worst.”
/>
  “Mine too. Easily.”

  Talen smiled at me, and I smiled back. His blue eyes looked darker this morning, but I didn’t know if that was just the light. As I stared at them, I remembered kissing him the night before. The memory hit me hard in the chest, and suddenly, I could almost feel his lips on mine. I even tasted the tequila on his tongue, and it made my stomach churn again. It felt so real that I wanted to kiss him again.

  As we looked at each other, I wondered if he was thinking the same thing. He was even more attractive in the daylight. His black hair wasn’t styled anymore. It hung limp on top of his head, but it still looked nice. It complemented his eyes. I cleared my throat and looked away. I didn’t want him to know what I was thinking.

  “Your father…” Why had that suddenly sprung to mind? “Did you say something about him last night?”

  “What?” Talen asked, a dark expression crossing his face.

  “Yeah, I remember now. You were talking about your dad and how much you hated him. Or something like that. You were really angry with him. Right?”

  Talen didn’t speak. He stared at me in disbelief, and I watched while his expression became more and more enraged. In a second, his face was red, and his eyes were dark. He glared at his plate, and I slowly leaned back. I didn’t know what was making him so upset. My confusion was worse than ever.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just remembered it, that’s all.”

  “We need to take care of this,” he said bluntly. “Immediately.”

  My heart began to beat faster. “What?”

  “This,” he said, waving his hand in the space between us. “Our marriage. First thing tomorrow morning, we need to end it.”

  “Okay.” I agreed with him, but I didn’t understand his anger. “I don’t have a problem with that.”

  “I mean it,” he snapped. “You aren’t leaving here until we get divorced. Is that understood?”