Dear Cathy ... Love, Mary

by Catherine Conlon

  Okay, end of that boring subject. I expect that by this stage M— has had her baby. What was it? I feel very sorry for her married with a family at her age! Mind you, I intend being in that position myself in about ten years! Who’s opened the new restaurant in Carrick? Where? Why? When? I’ve beaten you to it with the chopsticks – more about that later! If you see the Smiths, tell them I was asking for them.

  I’d have given anything to have seen yourself and your maw in the phone box the day you phoned! I see some things never change: the P&T, that is! But I’d have given even more to have seen you all at Sue’s party. It was nice talking to you all on the phone, though. I felt very homesick afterwards. Please, please, pass on any snippets you can think of concerning the party. Y’know, I didn’t feel in the least bit over the moon when I was talking to Michael. But the next night at Hammersmith (ask Sue) I spent the whole time thinking about him, and none of the other guys there were a patch on him! Were you talking to him? Did he say anything after the call? I get the impression that you can finally see what it is all the other girls see in him. There really is something about him, isn’t there? I suppose he’s kinda unforgettable!

  Terribly sorry about U—’s baby. You know, it doesn’t seem so long ago that you were telling me she was pregnant. Where does the time go? When I brought Thomas to school today there were some kids playing in the yard. Do you remember the noise they make? I do. I felt like crying. A short time ago, I was part of that noise. And now I’m on the other side of the fence. It makes me feel old!

  Remember me saying that I used to teach the kids English? Well, I went to the school one day, and Annique came over to me and said that I couldn’t do that any more. A small minority of the parents were against it. They felt that their children had enough problems with their native language, never mind learning a foreign one! Annique was terribly embarrassed – y’see, it was she who asked me to do it in the first place. So now I just leave Thomas off at the door. But whenever the kids see me, they come running over for a kiss, which is a great boost for the morale! I’d love to make a video of it and send it to Lena! That’d make her swallow her bitchy sarcastic remarks!

  I couldn’t figure out for ages why Chrystelle didn’t like me. I know I’m not in the Eleanor league as far as being pleasant is concerned, but just the same, apart from giving her a well-deserved belt now and again, I’m generally quite pleasant, aren’t I? Well, anyway, I suddenly copped on the other day in the course of conversation. She’s jealous because I get on so well with Thomas. Y’see, she’s crazy about him herself. The other day she was complaining because there was a tiny wrinkle in her sweatshirt which I’d ironed, so Viv told her she could go and iron it herself the next time!

  Gerard – it’s funny that you should say he appeared different somehow to you. I always found him very natural. False is a word I’d never associate with him. Perhaps you’re seeing too much of him. I don’t mean that in a romantic way, incidentally! But I know what you mean when you say nobody else got to dance with you because of him. It can be annoying, can’t it? Was Tom at the Macra party? I remember last year I did the drying up with him – how romantic! Sue said that Ger had asked Eleanor to the Macra social. You never mentioned it, didn’t you know about it? Or is it that you just think it’s a once-off thing? I remember the night we went to Kats, they were together the whole time. If you know anything be sure and pass it along, won’t you?

  Sue said she had the impression you were all rather shocked at her behaviour at the party. She seems to be trying to live her whole life at once. From her letters I can see that she’s really making the most of things in the NIHE. I suppose she’s right in a way. I fully intend having a good time once the summer arrives. As of yet I’ve met nobody my own age. So, roll on, peak season, and I’ll make up for all of that! How are relationships going in WRTC? Have you made any friends? I don’t mean acquaintances!

  Remember the photos taken at the last party? Well, I forgot to bring them to France with me. I left them at home in one of my drawers. Now I’m terrified that Nanny will find them. And even though the only thing blue in them is my dress, well, you know what grandmothers are like – especially mine! By the way every single time she writes, she asks me to come home and get a job in Ireland. And I thought she’d be glad to see the back of me! And Granddad, whom I’ve seen only two or three times writing letters, always writes to me! People are surprising, aren’t they?

  At the moment I’m ploughing through a Harold Robbins novel. Y’know, I’m glad I’m not rich. They seem to spend all their time bed-hopping, wife-swapping, getting married and divorced, and being generally miserable and unhappy. It’s very depressing really. A bit like Light a Penny Candle even though there’s no other resemblance between them!

  Friday, 20 January

  Right now, I’m supposed to be doing my next lesson in typing, but I keep making piles of mistakes, so I’ve given it up until I’m in a better humour for it! As you can see, I haven’t changed a bit! Would you like an example of what I’m supposed to do?

  âtre pâtre plâtre idolâtre mulâtre albâtre être fenêtre pôle pâle être pâtre plâtre idolâtre

  I type the line five times, and then I do likewise for the other ten or so. Every week, I send away a lesson, which is corrected. The course is very expensive; about £30 a month. I get paid £100, but due to my recent holidays and financial problems for the LeClercqs, I’m currently skint! I put a notice in a few shop windows yesterday, which read as follows:

  Mlle CONLON (Anglaise) donnerait des cours d’anglais

  aux élèves au 6ème à la terminale.

  Tous les jours (30F l’heure)

  S’adresser …

  Hopefully I should get a few replies soon. I’ve worked out that three people a week would pay for my correspondence. I know the course is terribly expensive, but if I were to do it in WRTC wouldn’t it work out much dearer? At least here I make about seventy quid a month. Also I’m more independent here.

  I’m delighted to hear about the Carrick-made tape. I have a tape-recorder at my disposal, so I’d be delighted if you could manage to make a recording of the tape for me. What’s Shirley Carson doing now?

  Ah, yes, chopsticks! It was François’s birthday on 7 Jan so there was a little bit of a party here, just the people in the restaurant and me. The kids were packed off to bed – for once – so it was a great night. Over here, I’m terribly shy, and never open my mouth at meals, except when just the family are there. But the night of the party, everybody was terribly nice. I sat beside Yvan, who looked even more gorgeous than usual and FLIRTED with me! A great morale booster, even though none of us was serious! I think I was the teeniest, weeniest bit tipsy. Anyway, it was a brilliant night, and I really enjoyed myself. It finished at about three in the morning, after the coffee and the champagne. Nearly forgot, the food was KOREAN! It was out of this world. Absolutely fantastic! Now I know why the war lasted so long there! And I didn’t make a fool of myself with the chopsticks. As a matter of fact, it was Chantal who finally gave up and used a spoon.

  U asked me about handcrafts. At the moment, I’m halfway thru my second tapestry. It’s about a foot square and is of a dog. The other one was of a Breton church. Viv and I framed it ourselves and I sent it to Nanny and Granddad for Christmas, as well as a nightdress each for the twins, which I also made. I got a letter from home last week, and there wasn’t a single mention of the parcel. I was terribly hurt, until common sense prevailed, and I realised that it probably hadn’t arrived. I hope it’s not lost in the post.

  I think that by this stage I’m running out of news. Oh, Viv and François are trying
to buy the restaurant from Viv’s mother. Hence, it’s nothing but meetings with bank managers and the like now. Anyway, they are getting fairly browned off with the whole thing. So, she says to me last week, ‘How’d u like to go to America?!’ (only she said it in French!) It turns out that Yvan has a brother there. So, he’s going to find out all the details, and if things work out badly with the banks, they’re thinking of moving lock, stock and barrel to the States. In other words, the family, cat, dog, staff, me and French cuisine. But I know Viv by this stage – the whole plan will be forgotten!

  Not exactly enthusiastic about Dallas or Glenroe, but at the same time must admit that I wouldn’t be averse to hearing what’s happening! And why the hell can’t u tell me about Dynasty? Huh?! You’d better have a good excuse, mate!

  In the course of her investigations amongst my stuff last night, Delphine came across the photo u sent of yourself. They all said we looked alike. I remember a lot of people used to think we were sisters. I’d love to have u as a sister!

  And on that note, I’m going to close the typewriter, and head to the piano for a half-hour’s practice. I’m progressing slowly in that field, as in all others! I beg your forgiveness for the quality of my typing. I should have improved somewhat the next time I write.

  PLEASE WRITE BACK VERY SOON OR ELSE … (I’ll cry!)

  Kilograms and kilograms of love,

  Catherine

  Be sure and say hello to all the family for me. I know it’s a bit late but all the same, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

  PS By the way, when I wrote back to Denny, I mentioned I’d heard she was pregnant (but didn’t give her any informers’ names). She sent a Christmas card to Glen as I’d told her I was coming home. She asked me to try to drop in and see her. Now I don’t know if I should write back to her or wait for a letter. I haven’t heard from Reggie for ages. If you have any school gossip, please pass it on to me. All the twins talk about are the new students* next door!

  PPS Are you keeping in touch with Sue? Towards the end of the summer I kinda got the impression you’d really lost contact. That’s partly why I don’t tell the two of you the same things in my letters. If I tell you half the news, and her the other half, hopefully you’ll telephone each other to catch up!

  Letter 14 / A revelation – boys do discuss girls!

  Carrick

  Sunday, 5 February 1984

  Dearest Cathy,

  A thousand apologies for the delay in writing. ‘The fault, dear Cathy, is not in our stars but in ourselves that we are lazy’! Seriously, though, I just didn’t get around to it but any road here I am. Actually your letter was late coming too. I came home Monday, looked searchingly at the letter rack and my face fell. A repeat performance on Tuesday and Wednesday. Finally on Thursday, on seeing my face fall for the fourth time, Maw put me out of my misery. Actually she’d hidden the letter to see my reaction (sadist!).

  Then I picked it up. Sez I, ‘Wot’s goin’ on? It’s real thin, like. Has she fallen out with me or sommat?’ Then I discovered the typing, which I must add was really good. Now, there’s one flaw, Kitty chicken. You see, I possess a nosy maw who’s particularly interested in one Catherine Conlon who is practically part of the family (on second thoughts forget the ‘practically’). And, you see, the only thing that prevented her from reading your writing was – your writing! Therefore I could translate – leaving out the bits I wanted to. In other words, I CENSORED my maw’s reading. After all, your letters are not suitable for impressionable maws, are they?! Now, she can read them herself when you type them. Dear Frankie, what can I do …?

  Just to tell you how you’re revered in this here homestead. As you may or may not know, we’ve had very cold, snowy, sleety weather here (which I’ve enjoyed immensely!). Anyway, one cold and frosty morning I had to return home (actually slide home) again ’cos the omnibus didn’t come because of the icy roads. When finally I convinced her to open the door to me, she settled me in front of the warm heater with a cup of steaming coffee. But d’ya think I got the coffee-table? Ya must be jokin’. Not for me the luxury of a table, oh, no. Instead she pulled over the chair! Upon questioning and interrogation she said merrily, ‘Sure, that’s for Catherine!’

  I haven’t heard from Sue in AGES (’cos the phone box is out of order). I know it’s terrible hassle for you to repeat everything twice but believe me I would be ETERNALLY grateful! Actually she took me by storm at the Christmas party. Very outgoing; first out on the dance floor etc. At one stage she was precariously seated upon not one but two gentlemen. Tut, tut, what’s the world coming to! Seriously, though, she really enjoyed herself and I’m glad she’s so happy.

  By the way (for a bit of GOSSIP or, as you put it, useless irrelevant bits and pieces!) Y— still didn’t have her baby. She must have been way, way out in her dates. The restaurant hasn’t opened yet and any info on it seems to have fallen off the grapevine!

  Cheryl is going to Canada as an au-pair to Dr Prendeville’s daughter or someone. I’m not really sure actually as I haven’t spoken directly to Cheryl. When I do I’ll pass on any info. I haven’t had trace or tidings of Eleanor. Catherine told me all right that she went to the Macra dance with Gerard. A lovely couple, don’t you think? I see Catherine very often and we have a good old natter about the times past, present and future.

  I got a letter from Annette after all these months. You know Annette’s letters, though – nine sentences. It seems she’s very busy, was away with the Youth Orchestra until a while ago (she didn’t say where) and now is playing in the RTÉ Concert Orchestra. (I guess she means full time and professionally, but I’m not sure.) She also said she was in Paris for a week recently representing Ireland and enjoyed it. That’s all she said!

  Guess who’s engaged – Bridget Walsh from Sir John’s and Maria Walsh (not to each other, dum-dum!). By the time you come home, when the two of us re-haunt the ice-cream parlour, we’ll bump into all the auld classmates pushing prams. I feel like Methuselah. To think I’ve never had a proper date yet.

  I’m stuck into Mills & Boons again. Jackie Earl gave some to Martin for me. So this weekend I’ve read three Mills & Boons already. I wonder if that’s a symptom of something. Remember yourself?

  I’m really enjoying WRTC at the moment. I’m getting on okay with the fellas (much to my own surprise) although sometimes I’m completely ignored. Funnily enough, I like it then ’cos I get to see what they’re really like without pretence. Catherine, I’ve just discovered something, boys do discuss girls. I’ve noticed it a few times sitting beside ’em in the canteen (I eavesdropped!). It came as a complete surprise. Admittedly, most of the discussion is concerned with looks, figures, etc., although not always. It’s most amusing if I’m sitting in the library at a table with all fellas and a girl passes by. ‘Cor,’ they all say and other comments before realising I’m present and becoming contrite. I really think our segregated educ. system has a lot to answer for in relation to polarisation and ignorance of sexes. Cathy Cummins even made the same comment.

  However, Cathy, I’m still not happy about the course. Actually, to tell the truth, I don’t know if I’m happy or not! My emotional gears seem to be in neutral as far as accountancy is concerned. Needless to say, that isn’t too helpful where study is concerned. You really need enthusiasm. I hate leaving things slide, but what else can I do? I guess deep down I don’t totally agree with all this consumerism and capitalism. Maybe I feel intimidated by the wealth and different experiences of some of my classmates. They all seem to have travelled, gone on holidays, driven cars, etc. And yet they’re not intentionally snobs. I guess it’s impossible to sometimes put yourself in an
other’s position when your background and upbringing is at complete variance. I dunno …

  Anyway, on a much more cheerful note, I think I may have glimpsed the infamous C— R— at Christmas. He was bringing in blocks next door and guess who was peering through the curtains? Unfortunately, with my eyesight (or lack of it!), I couldn’t see much. Maw compares me to the guy in F Troop who keeps falling into the well! I really must get my glasses changed again.

  Did you get any students for your English classes yet? I wish you the best of luck with it all. When are you going to Paris? I’d love to join you. (Who knows? Elephants might fly!)

  By the way, remember S— O—? He’s (wait for it) ENGAGED. Actually there seems to be an epidemic round here at the moment. By all accounts his maw doesn’t seem too pleased and has thrown him out (no easy task – tee-hee!). The lucky woman is from Waterford. Never fear, Kitty me darlin’, there’s hope for us yet!