UNFORGETTABLE (Able Series Book 3)

by Aceves, Gigi

  A sense of something I can’t describe starts to work its way to my heart. I wish I could have enjoyed those times with Tami. What I would give for her to cry at the drop of a hat, or to shop for baby stuff, or her telling me to go buy her a weird sounding ice cream. It’s then I realize that all the sadness that overcomes me are feelings I never felt with Lorraine. Sure, I was sad because we lost our baby, but the sadness stops there. With Tami, not only does the sadness of losing our angel rule my heart, it’s the moments I know we’ll never have . . . we’ll never share, or even get to experience that compounds my sadness and turns it into an agonizing, debilitating pain.

  Cody slaps my shoulder then says, “Everything will be alright, Brian.”

  “I hope so, because she means everything to me. Everything I’ve dreamed of, and everything I’ve feared to lose.”

  TAMI

  As soon as my eyes greet the morning sun, the smell of coffee makes my mouth water, but the letter with my name on it brings tears to my eyes and joy to my heart.

  Tami,

  I can’t undo my past or re-do a decision I’ve made. But, how about I tell you a story of US.

  Happy—the day you said yes to me at the hospital. You needed me then in your moment of weakness, now . . . I don’t know if you still do. But, one thing I know is I need you. You’ve awakened a part of me I buried a long time ago. That’s the desire to have a family, though scared as hell, that desire flickers in my mind and stays in my heart because of you.

  I love the way you love me, the way you take care of me. I love that you put me first in everything. I just love how we are together. While a secret was burning a hole in my heart, you were loving me the way you should. At the time, I was thinking if and when you found out, would you still love me?

  Just as with any story, an ending is inevitable, but I don’t want to end it . . . not like this. We both promised forever—there isn’t an ending in forever, right? Now, I’m stuck thinking about what road to take to get to our forever. . . .

  Brian

  (The guy who’s desperately in love with you)

  I have to read it again and again to make sure I’m not dreaming or that I’m understanding it correctly. I make my bed day dreaming of him, take a shower thinking of him as I run my hands over my wet, slippery body down to my aching core. I miss him more than the day before and need him every second of everyday.

  “Good morning, T.” Roxy greets me as she comes out of her side of the house.

  “Morning,” I answer walking to the driver’s side of my car.

  “It’s good to see you smiling again, Tami. Did uh . . . some boom boom action happened this morning. . . . or late last night?”

  I shake my head as I look at her with my nose scrunched up. “Is that all you think about? Geez, I’m beginning to believe you’ve turned into this nymphomaniac.”

  She rolls her eyes at me, and a comfortable silence ensues between us. Neil greets us a little too cheery for my taste, but thankfully, his attention is centered on Roxy. I go directly to my office and start riffling through my purse searching for my phone when I see another white paper with my name on it. I slowly fall on my chair, and once again, a smile spreads across my face.

  Angel,

  A secret—that’s exactly what I kept from you. I kept an important part of me from you because of fear. I was fearful of accepting what you most want in life, and a bridge I wasn’t ready to cross. So, the secret stayed until I was forced to accept something I’ve been running from.

  When you told me you were pregnant, waves upon waves of different emotions were running wild inside of my head. I was scared, but I also felt brave because of you. I was excited because we created life, but at the same time, I was indifferent because of fear. I was a lot of things, but not one matched with yours. Mine was always paired with something dark. My fears became your reality. A reality I tried to deny, and one that you embraced.

  So, how’s our story supposed to end? You tell me since you hold all the cards, including my heart.

  Loving you forever with no end,

  Brian

  My huge smile is still plastered on my face when Neil and Roxy walk in, and I quickly shove the letter back into my purse. Praying they don’t notice anything; otherwise, an inquisition will soon follow, with Roxy and Neil pairing up spells bad news for me.

  “What’s with the smile?” Both ask at the same time.

  “What smile?”

  “Liar, liar pants on fire,” Neil says as he wags his finger at me.

  “You’re hiding something, T.” Roxy seconds.

  “Noted.”

  “Noted.” Roxy imitates LT which makes Neil and me laugh out loud. “That’s so irritating! You know when he gets into the Secret Service, I’ll dare him to say that to the President.”

  “Damien is just. . . .” I stop to think how I’d describe him, and one word that comes to mind is controlled. “He is just so controlled, ya know, like nothing ever bothers him. He’s always so deep in thought. Always so strong.”

  “Trust me, honey, he’s deep, alright.” Neil pauses as he slithers seductively along the edge of his desk and says, “He walks on the wild side. He laughs in the face of danger!”

  “Okay, Simba! Stop quoting from your favorite movie and stop fantasizing over my brother. That’s just . . .” Roxy stops and scrunches her face. “ . . . it’s just weird.”

  Roxy and Neil share a knowing glance, and right off the bat, I know both are up to something—something funny, yet satisfying. I’m in the Lion King mode since Hakuna Matata is playing in the background.

  Roxy stands and sings along with Neil. “Oh, my Lelo, what a wonderful stick. Oh, my Lelo, I’m turning you on high. It means I’m cumming for the rest of my days.”

  “Yeah, sing it preggo.” Neil hands the pretend mic to Roxy.

  “It’s a magic stick, rechargeable. Oh, my Lelo. . . .”

  With their silliness, it’s hard to get mad at them, but even harder not to crack up and laugh. I feel melancholy when it suddenly hits me, the thought of not having two of the most carefree people I know. What would I do without these two . . . or without my family for support.

  Cody and Brian walk in, right in the middle of the two crazies singing ‘Oh my Lelo’ made me jump from my chair while Roxy and Neil’s singing freezes up.

  “I will hide that damn ‘Oh your Lelo’!” Cody exclaims.

  TAMI

  I RECEIVE THE CONTINUATION OF the ‘story of us’ waiting for me inside my car, clipped on the rear view mirror. I’m assuming Brian put it there when they dropped off Starbucks coffee this morning. While I’m excited to read it, I’m also a little bit nervous. Will it be a happy ending for the both of us, or just for him?

  Angel,

  This by far will be the hardest part for me to write. The day we lost our baby, my already battered heart took another beating. A beating I probably wouldn’t have survived if not for you. Then in the blink of an eye, I lost you, too. I was lost, lost without your touch and without your love. I don’t ever want to feel that way again, not when we’re still alive, breathing, and so in love with each other. I realized that I’d rather wade through the fear, than lose you—lose us.

  I wish I could end our story with ‘and they live happily ever after,’ but life isn’t that easy. It never has been for me since I lost my first. I don’t take losing someone easily, I don’t think anyone does. Losing someone who owns a piece of me is hard, but losing someone I made with you isn’t only heartbreaking, it’s devastatingly painful.

  When I pulled away from you, it wasn’t because I didn’t love you or our child. It was because I needed to quit lying to you and to myself. I needed to own my fears with or without you. I love you, that’s all I know . . . that’s all I’ll ever know. Take me back and let’s finish the story of us, together.

  One line in particular that grabs my attention and calms my heart, is when he says he wants us to finish our story together. If that isn’t a declaration lov
e and commitment, I don’t know what is. My heart is done being without him, and if he says he’s ready, then so am I. My phone ringing wakes me up from my midday daydream.

  “Morning, Brian.”

  “You got my letter?”

  “I did. Is that Trevor crying?”

  He chuckles, then answers, “How do you know?”

  “Easy, it’s the way he cries. He’s too needy, just like Jake.”

  “I have to say, I’m like Trev, right now. I’m needy of everything about you. Your lips, I need those babies around mine; your hands, I need them touching me; your eyes, I only ever want them to look at me; your body, I want it flush against mine all day, every day. Your heart, I don’t just need it, more like just can’t live without it . . . I believe He made your heart entirely to heal mine. I love you, Tami Alessandra Oliver. See you tonight. ”

  He hangs up, and thankfully so, because my tears are free falling down my face after what he just said. As painful as it was letting him go, having him whole is what my heart needs. My phone pings, signaling an incoming text, and as I swipe to open it, more tears flow seeing a picture of Brian holding a crying Trevor.

  Sometimes, it hurts talking to Trish, especially when I hear one of the quads crying or babbling. I’m happy for her, truly I am, but there’s always that little part of me that envies her completeness. I don’t begrudge her, God, no. I love Trish; I guess I just want what she has. I want to know how it feels to have a life move inside me. How it feels to hold my child, to nurse my baby, to hear my baby cry for me, to smile at me. I want to feel, see, cry over, worry about, enjoy, take pictures of, fuss over—I just want to experience it all.

  Roxy walks in massaging her baby bump, then says, “Let’s play hookie.”

  “Best idea evah!” Neil seconds.

  “Hello, are you guys forgetting I sign your paychecks? No one is playing hookie.”

  Both are pouting at me as they march toward my desk, which makes me a tad bit nervous. These two are up to something, I can just tell, and before they can even belt it out, I put a stop to it.

  Holding my hand up, palm out. “Stop! No one is going to sing ‘Oh my Lelo,’ again. If either of you make an attempt, you’re both going to work a Saturday shift this month.”

  Roxy attempts to reason this out and once again, I foil it. “Not interested in what your preggo my eggo mouth has to say. Hush.” I switch my attention to Neil as I narrow my eyes at him. “And you, get to work. If, and only if, we’re done with all the tagging and inventory then, and only then, will we play hookie. The sooner you guys move, the sooner we’ll be done.”

  High fiving each other, they both exclaim, “We have the best boss ever!”

  Shaking my head at both of them, I bury myself in order manifests, shipping dates, supplies, emails, and before I know it, twiddle Dee and twiddle Dum come into the room.

  “Let’s go. We need manis and pedis plus I need a wax real bad. Take us to the mother ship, Neil,” Roxy says as she pulls on Neil.

  I let the two talk all the way to the ‘mother ship’ as Roxy calls it. After being waxed, scrubbed, massaged, peeled, my fingers and toes filed and beautifully manicured, we head on home, after stopping by Naked Sweets for some sustenance, according to Roxy.

  Seeing Brian’s truck gives me an instant smile, and causes a few butterflies to take flight, doing serious summersaults in my belly. I can’t believe I still get butterflies at my age, but only with Brian. No one sparks me up like he does. As I park the car, Roxy pulls on my arm while I raise my brows at her. She’s not feeling any pain is she? Sadly, that’s the first thought in my mind.

  “Why? Are you okay? You feel any pain?”

  “I’m fine. Brian just wants me to give you this . . .” She hands me a white paper, then smiles at me. “ . . . before you go inside. Read it only after we leave, okay? Whatever it is you’re about to read, keep an open mind and an open heart. Sometimes, the strongest people, the ones we depend on who sacrifice their lives for others are the ones with the deepest hurts. I know, because I see it in my brother and the eyes of our boys, even your dad’s.”

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Do you trust him? If you do, then you know that everything he does will be only for your good. I learned that the hard way. I also know that a strong woman like you, and a sassy woman like me . . .” Raising her pointer finger, as she bites down on her lip while massaging her belly. “ . . . wait up, Mr. Aqua Man is swimming.” She looks down at her baby bump and says, “Listen my love, what am I eating that’s making you move like Michael Phelps? Calm down, I need to talk to your auntie.” Turning her head toward me she says, “Where was I? Oh yeah, a strong woman like you, and a sassy woman like me have a tendency to over think things, so for now, leave your mind here in this car and just follow your heart.”

  They leave, and I start reading; but instead of a smile grazing my face like the last times, it’s now covered with tears.

  Tami,

  Sorry. That’s what I want to tell you. The end to our story depends on you, angel. As for me, I’ve accepted what I couldn’t change, but I need your help in its completion.

  Be my hope.

  Be my guide.

  Be my strength in all things painful.

  Be my reason in all things beautiful.

  Be my everything for every season.

  What can I say after that? I’ve known all along that he’s it for me. If he wants me to be his everything for every season, especially when it’s a season of mourning and death then I’ll be that for him—always.

  BRIAN

  Planning to get her back has been the longest three weeks of my life and seeing it finally come to fruition is my greatest achievement.

  Roxy: donzo

  Me: is she enjoying her spa day?

  Roxy: Yes. She’s ready, waxed, and polished in all the right places.

  Me: Nice!

  Roxy: Is everything good on your end?

  Me: Perfect

  I finish my text with Roxy, and watch my mom and Patti finish making Tami’s favorite dinner. At least for once, someone is cooking for her, and not the other way around. I think I have this in the bag. I’m not nervous at all; I’m sure of my decision. I know what I want—I want her. I know what I need—I need her. The ending of our story though depends on her, exactly what I told her in the letter. It depends on where she wants to take us.

  “Hey, prince charming, did you sleep good last night? You know you need to perform tonight.”

  “Cody, I should ask you that since you’re the one being sexually abused.”

  “I got sleep alright, but what excites me is knowing Roxy is at the mother ship as we speak. That means, she’s buffed and waxed!” Cody says while rubbing his palms excitedly together.

  LT interjects, “A what ship? There’s no planet that would want my sister, that’s all I’m saying.”

  Cody turns and tells LT, “You don’t know the mother ship of all women? Dude, get with the times, man. The spa is their mother ship. They dial this number; all they have to say is ‘ET phone home’ and viola. They go in looking like someone freaked them the fuck out, and when they come home . . . boy oh boy . . . they’re like super models until they transform into a girl with a long tongue like the one in Transformers. Trust me, you don’t want them to transform,” he says with a shiver as if women are really capable of transforming into a monster. Who knows, he may have seen Roxy transform into one.

  Jake shakes his head and hits Cody on the shoulder. “Man, I’m afraid for your kid. I don’t know what you’ll teach that poor child. From Wondergina to clitter, mother ship, dicksicles, and Mama Igloo that kid is doomed. Doomed to have the vocabulary of a forty year old.”

  Cody appears in deep thought. “I hope he’s not a virgin by then. That would just be so wrong on so many levels of my Jacob’s ladder.”

  “What!” LT, Jake, and I yell all at the same time.

  He smiles at us and looks down at his junk. “That got your attenti
on, huh? Just so you know, my dick doesn’t need ornaments, alright?”

  He gets another hit on the head courtesy of LT. “Stop talking about your dick, man! You’re gonna be a father soon. Be serious for once.”

  Cody’s smile leaves his face, and he’s now wearing a somber expression. “Damien, life has been hard on this group. It hurts sometimes to think about what happened, and a little bit of crazy helps tone it down, ya know.”

  Jake, LT, and I agree on this. While Cody’s antics drive us crazy, they’re a sweet reprieve from the realities of life.

  “Jake, you got the cameras placed where I want them?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then, I guess we’re done here. Jake, can I talk to you for a second?”

  When LT and Cody leave, Jake sits on the steps of the deck, then taps the one next to him. We’ve done this many times—too many to count, but this moment, this will forever be in my heart.

  “So, you’re going to ask her today?”

  I link my fingers together before answering, “Yes.”

  “Love her completely, that’s all I ask. Rain or shine, tears or laughter, sickness or health, promise me you’ll ride the tide out with her. Especially in sickness, Brian. Don’t ever leave her. Stay with her—fight with her, but more than anything stand by her. I don’t care if you’re so weak there’s no fight left in you, or your feet are itching to run and hide in fear, just stand by her. Don’t leave her alone. She hates being alone. I remember when we were kids, she hated the dark . . .” Jake laughs as he wipes his eyes. “ . . . she used to give me her allowance so I’d stay with her. For the record, I didn’t take the money, I did it because she was scared, and the only thing she asked was for me to stand by her. You must do it, not because of me or that I asked you to . . . do it because in her silence, that’s exactly what she’s asking of you.”