Addicted

by Claire Adams

  I didn't get a lot of suits since I didn't have an office job. Guys who made music got away with a lot more. I had a couple in LA, but of course, I hadn’t brought them. Keno joined me after talking to the shop owner a little. They knew each other, just like everyone else on the island.

  "How are you and Makani doing?" I asked since it had been a little while since we were all together.

  "Great. It's weird that you asked that, actually," he said.

  "Oh yeah? Why?"

  "I'm gonna pop the question tonight," he said.

  "No way. You’re gonna marry her?"

  "I'm gonna ask her to marry me. We talked about doing it before we broke up, and I think this time around she's ready. I'm tired of waiting, you know? I love her. She's it for me."

  "You have a ring?" I asked.

  "I always have it on me. I've been thinking about doing it this whole week. I think tonight's the night. She's coming over, you're hanging out with Abby so she won't be busy. I've talked to her parents already. It's all set."

  "I wish I had some words of advice but my marriage failed," I said. He laughed.

  "From what you've told me, you were married to the wrong girl. Are you ever going to do it again?"

  "Get married?" I didn't really know, I realized. It hadn't even been a year since the divorce, but Kirsten and I had dated a little while before we got married. I had needed that time, I had been so busy with the band, so we didn't even get that much time together.

  It had been good some of the time, but she had left me. I had been a mess and I couldn't blame her for it, but what about that sickness and health bullshit? Whatever, what happened, happened. If we were still married, I never would have met Abby.

  "Yeah. You and Abby seem-"

  "Whoa, whoa, whoa – me and Abby?"

  "Of course. Who else would you marry?" he asked.

  "It's been one summer, man. Not even that long. Like, half a summer."

  "Sometimes that's all it takes," he said.

  "How long was it before you knew you loved Makani?"

  "Honestly? I told her I loved her after two months, but I knew I did weeks before. Sometimes you just know, Nate. I've seen the way you and Abby are."

  "I like her a lot."

  "Yeah, you like her so much you asked her to move to LA with you."

  "That's not happening. She doesn't want to leave the island."

  "If you want to stay with her, you're going to find a way to make it work."

  "I know that. I just feel like she would never ask me for anything. She'd never say to me that she wanted me to stay. She'd tell me to go have a career and live my dream in LA."

  "She's a great girl," he said. I knew that. I knew that probably better than most people.

  "I wish she'd tell me what she wanted."

  "I think it's pretty obvious what she wants," Keno pointed out.

  "No, like for us. I want her to tell me whether she wants me or not."

  "The ball's in your court if she already told you she isn't leaving."

  "I just don't know, man."

  "You'll make the right choice," he said. That was easy for him to say. His girl wasn't staying here while he moved back to LA for work. I had some time left, but I hated that the end was in sight.

  I found a suit that fit and we went back to the resort. Keno went back to work while I hung out in my suite until I had to get ready for whatever Abby and I were going to do. I poured over the contract Wes Barry had sent me for hours till I had to give myself a break. Nothing in there was going to tell me I could have what I wanted and still stay in Lanai.

  Abby was at my door at seven sharp like she said she'd be. She looked gorgeous in a long, flowy white dress with her hair curled around her shoulders.

  "Ready?" she asked when I opened the door.

  "I'm nervous," I said, joining her. "Are you about to blindfold me or something?"

  "Maybe later," she said slyly. I felt that one right in my cock. I tried to guess where we were going but she wouldn't answer me. She was holding my hand, taking me somewhere I wasn't sure I had been before. The resort was big and I mainly hung out in my suite or the bar. I never figured that they had a ballroom till Abby was pushing open the double doors and telling me to come inside.

  It was all decked out like there was an event that was supposed to happen. If I didn't know better, I would have thought we were there for a party or something. The lights were dimmed, and there was a table at the far end with two covered plates on it. Tiny little Christmas lights were strung around the entire room, making it seem like we weren't in Hawai'i anymore.

  "I wanted us to do something special so you'd remember more than my back porch when you went back home," she said. "Do you like it?"

  "You did this?"

  "I asked Makani for some help, and Keno to make sure you got your suit," she said.

  Fuck. I didn't know what to say. Nobody had ever done shit like this for me. I couldn't pretend like I didn't know why people had taken from me all my life. I didn't mind doing stuff for people, but it was different when they did it for me. I mean, especially Abby. I was a week away from leaving her and she was here trying to make sure I was still having a good time. I didn't know what to do.

  "I love it, Abby," I said honestly.

  "Come on, let's eat." She led me to the table and uncovered the plates. It was musubi and loco moco, the first things we ate together when we first started hanging out. I knew I could get Hawai’ian food in LA, but it wouldn't taste the same without her.

  "I can't believe you did all this," I said, as we ate.

  "I wanted to thank you."

  "For what?"

  "I've never met anyone like you in my life, Nate. I thought I had an idea about who you were since I listened to your band, but then I met you and you were so much more interesting and unique than I could have imagined," she said.

  "Please, Abby. You helped me stop using," I said.

  "You let me see the person behind the music I fell in love with and I'll never forget that. Thank you, Nate," she said. She was smiling, but I could tell she wasn't one hundred percent tonight.

  "I'm so lucky I met you," I said.

  "Don't forget me when you're successful and living the dream in LA," she said lightly.

  I laughed. I was hanging onto this till the day I died. We finished our dinner and ended up on the beach, neither of us really wanting the night to end so soon. I was holding her hand and trying to forget that in a few days I wouldn’t be able to. The ocean water quietly crept up the shore, and the stars shone brightly in the sky.

  We got to her house and I let her climb up the porch first, standing there in the bright, yellow light with her. I felt like I was walking her home after a date and she was about to say goodnight and go inside alone, which was not what I wanted, not tonight. Not any night.

  "Would you like to come inside?" she asked. I smirked.

  "When have I ever said no to that?" She giggled and looked down. She was nervous about something. I felt her take my hand. She was looking up at me and her eyes were glossy like she was holding back tears.

  "I've never done this with anyone before," she whispered.

  "It's okay," I said.

  "You aren't even gone and I miss you already," she said. A single tear fell down her cheek.

  "Don't cry, babe. I'm still here."

  "I just want you to be happy," she said, sniffing. "I want to be selfish and tell you to stay with me, but I can't stop you from getting what you truly want. I would hate myself if I ever stopped you."

  I hugged her and kissed the top of her head. I hated seeing her cry. I knew she'd be sad when we had to split, but watching her was killing me. She pushed against my chest so she was looking up at me again. Her nose was pink and her cheeks streaked with tears.

  "I couldn't let you leave without telling you that I love you. I've never loved anyone like this in my life."

  "I love you, too," I said. I cupped her face and kissed her. Her cheeks
were wet from her tears. She wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly. I pushed my tongue into her mouth, tasting her.

  I loved how she tasted. I loved how she felt. I loved being with her, being inside her. I loved everything about her. She was perfect, and for the next week at least, she was mine. I pulled away looking down at her.

  "Open the door," I told her. She turned and unlocked the door, pushing it open. I scooped her up into my arms and kicked the door shut, walking over to her bed and dropping her onto the mattress, taking my suit jacket off. Abby sat up on the bed in front of me, undoing my shirt buttons one by one. I started on my pants, this couldn't happen fast enough. I wanted her. I loved her, and I wanted to show her how much.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Abby

  I love you. That was all I wanted to tell him. I didn't care whether he said it back or not. I just needed him to know. It didn't matter that he was leaving because it wouldn't change that. I wanted to cry when he said it back.

  Nothing else mattered. Just me and him. He pulled me up off the bed so he could get me out of my dress. He undid the zip and it fell to my feet. He lifted me into his arms again, letting me wrap my legs around him. I tangled my fingers in his hair, kissing him slowly while he lowered me gently onto the bed, climbing on top of me.

  I ran my fingers through his hair, leaning back into the pillow as he kissed my neck and jaw. I gasped, feeling him suck one of my nipples on his way down my body. I watched him, needing to see him.

  It would never feel like this with anyone ever again. If I never met another person after him, it wouldn't make a difference to me. I knew I would never feel more connected to another man the way I felt to him.

  His stubble tickled my stomach as he kissed down my body, down between my legs. His big hands held my thighs apart as his tongue teased my clitoris. He sucked it between his lips, making me moan and writhe against him. I felt my wetness seep out of me. I felt brazen and exposed as he pleasured me. I knew he would lick every inch of my body if I wanted him to.

  My eyes fluttered shut, feeling him push two fingers inside me as his tongue continued to assault my clit.

  "Don't stop," I whispered. His free hand ran up my body, squeezing my breast. I covered it with mine, feeling him push me closer and closer to orgasm with his hand and mouth. I loved how his fingers felt, stretching me wider than I ever could with my own hand.

  I panted, moving my hips to meet the thrusts of his hand. His tongue was slow and firm. He kept his rhythm steady even though I was squirming. My stomach started to clench and I felt my climax start to build. His fingers grazed a place deep inside me that pushed me over the edge. I bucked my hips forward, coming. He didn't stop, licking and fucking me with his fingers till my body had completely stilled. He kissed my inner thigh and sat up on his knees. I took his hand and sucked the two fingers that had been inside me into my mouth, moaning. He watched me with lust-darkened eyes.

  He held my thighs and pulled me towards him on the bed, running his hands over them. He looked at me like he was trying to burn it in his memory. I noticed his furrowed brow and pained expression. I pushed myself up into a sitting position, touching his face.

  "What's wrong?" I asked.

  "You're beautiful, Abby," he said.

  He kissed me sweetly, gently pushing me back down to the mattress. He got off the bed and quickly walked over to my closet where I had some condoms, retrieving one. I watched him slip it on before he climbed back onto the bed and settled between my open legs. His penis was so hard it stood straight up, against his stomach. I was wet and ready for him; I knew he could see how much with my legs spread open the way they were.

  He ran the head of his dick over my opening, pushing ever so slightly into me with his thick head before pulling back out. It killed me. The friction against my lips tied knots in my stomach. I wanted him to take me. I wanted to feel him stretch me and fuck me deeper than anybody ever had before.

  "Please, Nate," I whispered desperately. Sweat had broken out over my brow and my voice was quivering. He complied, slowly feeding his hard, thick penis into me. I held my breath as he filled me, feeling him take up space that was already his.

  He leaned forward over me, thrusting in and out slowly as he kissed my cheek and neck softly. I ran my hand over his shoulders and biceps, hard under his skin from the effort of holding himself up.

  He was usually a lot more urgent. We would usually fuck first and kiss and cuddle later. It was never really slow and intimate the way it was now. We were both after something different this time. I wanted my body to tell him what I meant when I said I loved him. I wanted him to know that I was laying it all out on the table. Even if he was leaving, he was taking part of me with him.

  We kissed as he thrust into me, building a steady rhythm. I felt his deep, steady strokes in my entire body. I was soaked, turned on beyond belief by the man on top of me. I moaned as he made love to me. His hands touched my face, my breasts, my hips, leaving hot trails on my sensitive skin.

  I felt his weight press into me as he angled his hips to thrust deeper, and I bit my lip to keep from crying out. I felt his powerful back flex under my hand as he slid sensuously in and out of my body. He was so hard and firm, but he handled me so gently. I loved feeling his weight bear down on me while we were so intimately joined. His presence possessed me, on top of me, inside of me, one with me.

  "I love you," I whispered.

  "Say it again," he choked.

  "I love you, Nate," I said breathily.

  I felt him speed up, shifting off of me to thrust harder. He went faster, stoking the flame inside of me into an inferno. His vigorous strokes rocked through me harder and harder until I felt myself fall. I came, crying out, feeling myself come to pieces in Nate's arms. He went harder still, groaning as he climaxed before he slowed to a languorous stroke, and finally became still. He held my face and kissed me hard.

  "I love you, too," he said, looking into my eyes. Everything else became a drone in the background. That was all that mattered.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Nate

  I needed to stop doing this. I bet Abby never sat in bed staring at me sleeping when she got up before I did. A little while ago, it had made me feel like a creep, but now it almost felt necessary.

  I loved her. I couldn't believe I had her in my life. I couldn't believe that the day was coming when I wouldn't anymore.

  I still had to figure out what to do. The call hadn't been made yet, so technically, it wasn't official that anything was changing. God, I already hated myself for leaving her and I hadn't done it yet. I didn't fucking want to. It was as simple as that. I was healthy, happy, and in love. What the fuck did I still need?

  I had loved music since I was a kid. I had put everything I had into Remus, writing my best songs, giving up years of my life just to make sure we got somewhere. But then we did and what the fuck had it been for? Money?

  Remus was supposed to make me happy. Waking up every day to make music was supposed to make me happy and all it had done was get me on a plane here trying to escape it all. I couldn't believe it, but Keno had been right. I was still trying to plan for something I could take because it was right in front of me.

  I loved this place. I loved this tiny island where nobody knew who I was, and I loved this girl who helped me beat my addiction and was more beautiful inside and out than anyone I'd ever met in my life. I lived in a million-dollar condo in downtown LA and I'd never been happier than I was right now in a beachfront hut with Abby. I'd spend the rest of my life in this bed with her.

  That was it. Why was I still looking? I had found it.

  I slid out of the bed and pulled my underwear on before walking out onto the porch. Abby had a hell of a view. The morning was clear and sunny, and the beach had just a few people on it. I checked the time; LA was a couple hours ahead of here, but it was still early, sometime before nine.

  Whatever. He was the one who wanted to hear from me, wasn't he
? I dialed Wes Barry's number and waited for him to pick up.

  "Nate, how are you?" he asked cheerfully. I smiled. I was about to ruin his day if he thought I had good news for him.

  "Great. Listen. About that contract?" I said.

  "Did you like what you saw?" he asked. Objectively, yeah. It was a good looking contract. Lots of money, agency, freedom, everything I thought I wanted, which I would take if the trade wasn't so damn shitty.

  "It's a pass, Wes. I can't take the deal." He was silent for a beat.

  "What's wrong with the contract? We can negotiate if-"

  "It's great. Really. I just don't want it."

  "You sure, kid? An opportunity like this doesn't come along every day," he warned. A girl like Abby didn't either.

  "I'm sure. Thanks again for the offer," I said, hanging up. The door creaked open behind me and Abby came out to the porch. She was in a tank top and shorts – with no bra underneath, I couldn't help notice.

  "Hey," I said holding my arm out. She walked into my embrace, hugging me.

  "Hey. Is everything okay?" she asked looking up at me.

  "It is now," I said smiling. I sat in one of the chairs and she sat on the other.

  "Who was that?"

  "Remember the producer who called me offering a contract last week?" I asked.

  "I remember."

  "I called to tell him I was turning down his offer."

  "You're kidding."

  "Nope. I told him I didn't want it."

  "What are you going to do instead?"

  "I guess I'm staying. Know anyone looking for a roommate?" I asked.

  She beamed at me, crying and laughing and glowing with joy. In half a second, she was out of her seat and on top of me and both of us were on the floor. She kissed me, pinning me between her and the floor of the porch. I laughed, stroking her hair. Best decision I had ever made.

  "Are you sure?" she asked, sitting up on my lap.

  "I'm positive."