Addicted

by Claire Adams

  I slapped her. Hard.

  She recoiled and let out and angry sound as I stood there in shock. "Paul, don't let her attack me!"

  "Shut up, Carolyn." He kept his attention on me. "Baby. Seriously. I had too much to drink."

  "Fuck you." I let the tears I'd been holding back well up in my eyes. "You two deserve each other, but you should know that tonight wasn't about her wanting you or being interested in you. It was about getting me. So, I hope it was good. Being used isn't the best feeling in the world, but one we share, I guess."

  I turned as a sob lifted from the center of my chest. Bastards. All of them. I hated everyone one of them in the house, other than Katelyn. My mother and her fucked up sorority could burn in hell for all I cared.

  After stumbling down the stairs, I found Amy and Lucinda in the kitchen.

  Lucinda turned and reached for me with concern on her face. "Oh my God. What's the matter? You look horrible."

  "Fucking Paul was upstairs screwing Carolyn Jacobs. I need to get out of here. I'm sorry." I pressed my hand to my mouth and glanced over my shoulder to find Kade watching me. "Now. Before I make another mistake that I'm sure to pay for."

  "Alright. Katelyn is going home with Martin. Let's go get a few gallons of ice cream and go back to my place." Amy wrapped an arm around my shoulders as we walked out of the frat house and into the freezing cold.

  "Why do guys have to be such animals?" Lucinda opened the door for me before getting in the front seat with me, though there really wasn't room for all three of us up front.

  "It was Carolyn more than Paul. It's always her." I let out a quick breath and pulled my shirt up to blot my eyes with it. "She's been after me since our freshman year. Stupid bitch."

  "Then, you need to go after her. Pay her ass back for all she's done." Lucinda snuggled against my side and laid her head on my shoulder. "Paul wasn't right for you, anyway. He was too much of a pussy."

  "What? I thought Paul was one of the good guys." Amy started the car and pulled out onto the main street. "Obviously, I was wrong."

  "It's alright. Really." I closed my eyes and let my head drop back. I was surprised how quickly my thoughts returned to Tate. Being with an upper class guy like Paul was what was expected of me, but he'd been like every other jerk I'd dated over the years – selfish, greedy, and more concerned about what someone could get him in life than how they might feel after he ran over them.

  "Boys suck." Lucinda turned up the heater before pressing her chin to my shoulder. "Let's go to a foreign country and find men who know how to treat a woman."

  Amy snort forced my lips to lift in a smirk. "Is that a fucking joke? Foreigners are the worst about women."

  "Neither of you know what you're talking about." I glanced between both of them, challenging them to combat fact.

  "You're right." Amy let out a long sigh as she pulled into a large grocery store. "Let's go get something that is sure to love on us all night long and never leave our sides."

  "Or our thighs." Lucinda laughed and opened the door. She slid her arm into mine as we moved quickly toward the warmth. "Anyway, I see you with a rugged, good-looking guy who's more focused on matters of the heart. You deserve a good guy, not an asshole."

  "I met a guy tonight who fits the physical description, but I'm pretty sure he was a playboy, too." I let out a soft sigh as we walked into the grocery store. The warmth engulfed me and worked to thaw my fingers and the tip of my nose.

  "Kade? He's a total player." Amy grabbed a cart and shook her head. "But I sure as hell would love to have him play me."

  I laughed. "He's a player for sure, but I'm talking about the guy that stopped to help me when the damn car died. He was a biker guy with tats and the sexiest lips I've ever seen."

  "Oh, nice." Lucinda lifted her eyebrow at me as she released my arm. "Did you give him your number?"

  "No, but I got his." I slid my hands into my pockets, checking to make sure the card was still there. "It's nothing, I'm sure. He just wants to change my tire and check the engine on the car."

  "He sounds hot. I'd let him look under my hood and play with my knobs any day." Lucinda bumped me with her hip before she walked ahead of us toward the freezer section.

  "Hey. You okay? I know that was hell." Amy pressed her shoulder to mine as we stopped in front of the ice cream display case.

  "Yeah. I really didn't want to date Paul anymore, but having it happen like this just makes me feel worthless all over again. I'm numb." I shrugged.

  "Well, you're not worthless. That's your fucking mother making you think that. You're beautiful, insanely talented, and one of the best people I know." Amy patted her chest. "In here."

  "Thanks." I gave her a quick hug and moved up to help Lucinda pick out a few flavors. Seeing Tate wasn't a good idea with me feeling as shitty as I did right then. Besides, my dad would have a mechanic on the nice side of town. There was no way he would pay for anything unless it was done just the way he wanted it done.

  And, I had nothing other than a small allowance.

  No money. No boyfriend. No hope.

  Maybe I wasn't being fair by looking down on people who appeared to be needy. It was hypocritical in the worst way because the truth of the matter was that I was the neediest of them all.

  Chapter 6

  Tate

  I laid on the couch until the sun broke through the window behind me. Sleep had avoided me since getting back from the party and taking a long shower, but I wasn't surprised. I felt dirty, angry, and used. I'd done it to myself again, and I would do it a million more times.

  "You up yet?" My mom walked out of her bedroom and stopped by the opening to the kitchen.

  "Yeah. I didn't get much sleep." I sat up and ran my fingers through my short hair as a loud yawn escaped me. "You sleep okay?"

  "I did." She coughed as she walked into the kitchen, and I cringed at the sound of it.

  "Mom. You gotta have that cough checked out, for real. Sam said that it sounded like bronchitis." I readjusted myself and pulled on my t-shirt before walking into the small kitchen.

  She was busy making coffee and seemed to be ignoring my request for her to see the doctor. There was no surprise there, either. She was just as hard-headed as I was.

  "You want me to make you some eggs before you have to get off to school?" She looked over her shoulder and gave me a warm smile.

  "Mom, you heard me. Get a doctor’s appointment today or have one of those doctors you work with listen to your lungs. They have those stethoscope things around their necks all the time. Tell them to use it."

  "Stop worrying about me. I've survived a lot in my life. You want breakfast or what?" She handed me a cup of coffee and turned away to cough again.

  "Yeah, but I'll cook. You sit down. I don't think you realize how bad that sounds." I let out the growl of frustration that I was hoping to hold in.

  "Tate. I don't have the money to see a doctor, and those guys at the hospital aren't kind to me or anyone else that's not wearing a white coat and sticking their fingers up people's asses for a living. Okay?" She walked to the table and sat down before pressing her hands to her face. "And, I'm late on the rent."

  "I'll pick up a few extra shifts. It's okay. We'll work it out." I sat my cup down and moved to stand behind her, rubbing her shoulders softly as my heart contracted in my chest. I needed to bring more home in terms of money, but balancing everything was getting to be too much.

  "No. You're trying to get through school and manage your job. I'll figure things out. I just need you to understand why I'm not rushing to the doctor’s office. I'm sure it is bronchitis, but I'll beat it. I always do." She patted my hand. "Hurry up and make some eggs. You'll be late to your first class and then drive like a bat out of hell. That scares me more than the thought of losing this old house."

  "You're not losing the house. School can take a back seat. I'll drop out and start again later next year when we're back on our feet." I squeezed her shoulders once more and moved to
the fridge to start pulling out stuff for breakfast. We had a few eggs left and some cheap bacon that burnt no matter how slow you cooked the stuff. It was sad, but I was used to it. Besides, anything was better than living on the streets.

  "No, you won’t. The reason I'm in this situation is because I didn't go to school like you are. My mom and dad warned me a million times before they passed that I should go get my RN, but I just didn't listen." She let out a tired sigh that turned into a terrible hacking.

  I stifled the fear welling up inside of me. She wasn't doing well, but if anything happened to her, I wouldn't make it. Outside of Sam, she was the only person I had in the world. "This isn't about a degree. Life's tough sometimes, and we're good people because of the shit we've been through. I stopped to help some rich girl last night with her car because I'm a nice person."

  "Was she pretty?" My mother lifted her eyebrows and smirked.

  "Yes. Very, but that's not why I was telling you the story. She was shocked by my kindness, by my willingness to help her out. Being good is free and more people should have to go through shit to come out on the other side better for it in the long run." I shrugged and cracked the eggs into a bowl. I was hungry enough to eat all five of them, but we didn't keep much food in the house. Two would have to do. Besides, Jerry always had a big box of donuts at the shop, and much to the other guy's dismay, his secretary Sharon would save me a handful of them for my afternoon shift.

  "This is true. You're a good man, Tate. I'm very proud of you." She coughed again and stood up. "I'm going to take a shower."

  "No breakfast?" I glanced over my shoulder after cracking the third egg in the bowl for her.

  "Nope. Eat my egg this morning. I'm too doped up on cough syrup to enjoy it, anyway." She picked up her coffee and disappeared down the darkened hall.

  Something had to give. I could keep living like this forever, but she couldn't. She was sick and needed care; she was lonely and needed a good man; she was everything to me, and I wasn't measuring up.

  "I'll fix it. All of it." I swallowed my worry and forced myself to whistle while I finished making breakfast. Today was going to be a good day. A great day, actually. I needed it to be too much to give up hoping for it.

  *

  After a long ass day on campus, I took the long way to the shop and tried to enjoy the feeling of freedom I had on the bike. It was freezing outside and I was bundled up in three layers, but I was happy. Content.

  My classes had been hard as fuck, which I loved. A good mental challenge was the best stimulation I could think of. Well, almost.

  I pulled up to the shop and parked my bike outside next to a few of the other ones sitting under a large canopy. Jerry had finally relented and let a few of us build the tent-like structure to keep our bikes from getting covered in snow while we worked. Now, we just had to take turns brushing the snow off the top of the contraption.

  The familiar smell of oil and mint rushed across my senses as I walked into the front door of the small two-room office Jerry kept.

  Sharon glanced up and smiled. Her red hair was wild and unruly, but it fit her perfectly. I always wondered if she and Jerry were seeing each other on the side, but never got up the nerve to ask them. I'd been working there for three years, so I was still the new kid on the block. It was getting old. I could run circles around most of the guys, Jerry included, but I was still the rookie in their minds.

  "Hiya, handsome. How's your day going?" She popped her gum and handed me three clipboards with keys attached to them.

  "Good. I'm ready to get to work. I've been sitting in a chair all day. My head is full of useless information, but I'm antsy." I took the clipboards and glanced around. "Everyone out in the shop working?"

  "Yes, sir, they are. I saved you some breakfast burritos that Jerry brought in this morning. They're in the bottom left drawer of the fridge." She checked her watch. "You're a little early. Get in there and scarf them down before they see you or find them in the fridge. They were big, but delicious."

  "Sounds good. Thank you, I'm starving." I rubbed my hand over my stomach and made a beeline for the break room. After setting down the orders that would fill up the rest of my evening, I got into the fridge and pulled out what would be lunch and dinner. My stomach was killing me, but it was nothing new. It was almost a comfortable reminder that I still had more to do, more to strive to be. I wasn't there yet, or anywhere close to it, but I was pushing hard and fast.

  "There you are." Jerry's voice pulled me from my thoughts. He chuckled and lifted his eyebrow as I turned around. "Did Sharon save you those?"

  "You know she did." I shrugged. "I'm young and studly. What can I say?"

  "Nothing, Mr. Humility." He laughed and sat down at one of the three tables in the break room. "I got a bike coming in later today, so I might pull you from one of those brake jobs and get you to help me look at it. You know I hate doing those things. I'm an auto guy."

  "Yeah, sure. I'm a 'whatever gets me paid' man, myself." I pulled the burritos from the microwave and sat down beside him. "You want one?"

  "No, you need your strength." He tapped the table and gave me the once over as I dug in, unable to hold back as I scarfed them down. "Tate, you know I'm looking for someone to move up and become the assistant manager for me at this place."

  "Yeah, but you know that spot belongs to one of the other guys. Lefty has been your right hand man for twenty years. He's a good pick for that." I licked at my fingers and continued to eat.

  "He's a good mechanic, but he has no business sense." He reached out and squeezed my arm. "I know you have a lot going on, but I see a ton of potential in you. I want you to think about it. It's a three dollar an hour raise, which I know will help out at home, but I need you here more."

  I nodded and sat back in my chair as I popped the last bit of food into my mouth. "I'll think it over. I appreciate you thinking I'm capable of doing something so big around here."

  "We all have faith in you. You're young, innovative, and full of energy. We need more of you, not less. Just think about it." He got up and walked toward the door. "Oh, and Sharon said some girl called earlier today and said you told her to bring her car by for a new tire. Said you were paying for it?"

  I laughed and got up as butterflies danced around my chest. The girl from the night before, the one on the side of the road. How many times had I thought about her over the last twelve hours? Too many to count. It was weird, and I'd never label it as love at first sight, but a slight infatuation? Yes. Wanting to get into her panties? Fuck, yes.

  "I told her she'd have to pay for the tire, but that I'd do the work for free. I'll do it after hours, though. I promise." I threw away the trash in my hands.

  "I don't care when you do it. Sounds serious, though. You working for free? What I gotta do to get a little bit of free action out of you?"

  I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest. "You gotta shave that scruffy-ass beard for starters."

  He laughed loudly, flipped me off, and walked out.

  The feeling of fullness after eating so much left me wanting to take on the world. It was crazy how much my hunger affected my mood.

  I jogged back to the front of the office to give Sharon a smile. "That was fucking awesome. I feel like a million bucks." I rubbed my stomach and licked at my lips playfully.

  "Stop it, you're turning me on. You're far too hot to be licking your lips like that. You'll make Jerry jealous. Having me blush around you and such." She smirked and turned back to her paperwork. "Who's the girl?"

  There was no way Sharon was interested in me. She was a good twenty years older than me at least and had her heart set on the owner of our shop. They would be great together, but one of them was going to have to make a first move.

  Good luck there.

  "Just some hot girl I found on the side of the road last night. I'm too much of a gentleman to pass up the chance to help a lady. That and sell some business at this here lovely shop." I shrugged.

&nbs
p; "You're a good guy. Remember that when she comes in here and steals your heart, hmm?"

  "Nobody is stealing my heart. I have my job, my school, and my mother. I'm good." I turned and walked down the hall to the sound of her laughing. They all figured me to be a playboy, and maybe in some respects I was, but I wanted far more out of life than an occasional romp in the sheets. Funny how when I wasn't looking for anything but sex, all I could find was girls with love on their mind and diamonds in their eyes.

  I finally grew up a little and decided that love could quite possibly enhance the package and the sluts officially came crawling out of the woodwork. Where were all these hot chicks who wanted a casual fuck when I was in my late teens?

  Sadness worked to wrap around me at the thought, but I forced it back and walked causally out to the garage.

  Everyone turned and nodded at me, some of them throwing cat-calls for fun.

  "I'm working, so you guys keep it down. Alright?" I pulled on my goggles and barely caught a football that was launched at me.

  "Hey, grease monkey. There's a girl up front asking for you. If you're too busy to take her...no worries. I'm more than happy to help her out." Nix smirked at me and ran his hand down his black hair before pulling at his ponytail a little. "She looks like she needs to be reminded what a good man can do in her life."

  "Oh, yeah? I guess I should help her out seeing that you're anything but good. Scoundrel." I bumped my shoulder by his playfully before walking back up front.

  Please let it be her. Please let it be her. Please...

  Fuck.

  It was her.

  Chapter 7

  Val

  The ice cream the night before had helped, but sleeping on Amy's couch was another story altogether. I got up early the next morning and made Lucinda take me back to the sorority house for a quick shower before class. I half expected the kitchen to be empty when I walked down the stairs afterward, but everyone in the house was gathered around Katelyn and Carolyn, who were in a rather nasty screaming match.