Torn (Devils Wolves Book 1)

by Carian Cole

  "Did you name this poor kitten yet?" She asks me, sitting on the floor with both the dog and the kitten crawling up in her lap for love. Kenzi is a like a pet whisperer. They all love her.

  I sit on the couch and pull off my boots, thinking we'll relax and have a bite to eat before I take her home.

  "Yeah. Kitten. It goes with Diogee."

  She smirks at me. "That's lazy, but it fits her," she picks the kitten up and cradles her against her chest. "She's so adorable, Tor. I want to kidnap her and take her home with me."

  "Your father will have a shit fit. You can come over here and hang out with them any time. I keep telling you that."

  She pouts. "It's not the same. I miss having my own pet."

  "We could get you another bunny." I offer. I considered surprising her with one, but wasn't sure if it would just make her grief worse. I didn't want her to think I was trying to replace Snuggles. After talking to Mom about it, we decided it was best to wait.

  Putting the kitten down, she watches her walk off to chase Diogee's tail and then pulls the clip out of her hair, unbraiding it and letting it all fall around her shoulders in soft waves. "I've been thinking about that, and I think I do want another one. I love the Lionheads."

  "What the heck is that?"

  "It's a breed of bunny with a really fuzzy face and head. They're adorable, they almost look like little toys."

  "Find one and I'll take you to get it." I say without hesitation.

  I move into the kitchen and open the refrigerator, rummaging around to see what we could have for dinner that's quick and easy.

  "You want hamburgers?" I ask, my head still in the fridge, when her warm hands slide up my back. I turn around and shut the door behind me, surprised at her touch. She's being way more daring today than she ever has before.

  "I'm not hungry." She says, gently resting her palm on the center of my chest and peeking up at me, eyes burning with everything I want to see.

  Her touch has pushed my last button. The last of my self-control crumbles, replaced with a mix of raging frustration and desire I can't even begin to extinguish. I push her hand off my chest and slam her back against the wall, crushing my lips to hers, my hands gripping her waist. Her gasp against my lips should have been one of fear or maybe shock, but one glance at her darkening eyes tells me neither one of those is what she's feeling. Not even close.

  "Is this what you want, Kenzi?" I growl against her lips. "Is this what you've been begging for all day, touching me?"

  "Yes," she whispers breathlessly. "I want you."

  I slowly back away from her, torn between throwing her out and dragging her down the hall to my bedroom. "You don't even know what that means."

  Her green eyes lock onto mine and I can see that I'm wrong. "Wanna bet?"

  Holding her gaze, I yank off my worn t-shirt and toss it to the floor, watching how her eyes take in my bare chest and then drift hungrily to my abs. I want her to run. I want her to stay.

  "Well, here I am. Show me."

  I know every single one of Kenzi's expressions for every feeling she has ever felt. But I've never seen this look of sheer smoldering desire on her face before. Her eyes stay on mine as she steps towards me with zero hesitation, zero doubt. She completely owns her determination to do exactly what I asked - show me.

  The space between us disappears quickly, and she backs me up against the adjacent wall, her hands coming up to hold my face as she goes up on her toes to kiss my lips.

  "You," she says softly. "You are what I've always wanted. And yes - way before I even knew what that meant. But I know what it means now."

  She lowers her head and kisses my bare chest, right above the tattoo of her words, her lips soft, wet, and warm.

  "I want all of you," she continues as her lips move across my flesh. "Your love, your body. Your past, your present, your future. Everything."

  I can barely breathe as her mouth and hands trail down my chest to my stomach, and I lean back against the wall with my heart drumming loud and fast. My little Kenzi is fading away into the background. This woman in front of me has stepped into her place, saying all the words I need and want to hear, touching me in all the right ways, turning me on, making me fall harder. Blinking, I almost believe she'll disappear and this will turn out to be just a fucked up hallucination, but she's still here, now kneeling down in front of me with her hands on my thighs.

  When her lips press against the front of my jeans, directly over my cock, I suck in a breath and my hand drifts to her head, gripping her hair.

  "Kenzi..." I whisper raggedly, staring down at her. I don't know what she's done to me, but I'm powerless to do anything but just let her do whatever she wants. She plants small, quick kisses along the length of my cock, and almost makes me explode when she gently bites the head, her teeth grazing over the material of my jeans.

  Yanking her up by her hair, I cover her mouth with mine, my chest heaving against hers as my hands slide down her back to cup her ass cheeks, grinding my cock against her.

  "You're playing with fire," I rasp out.

  "I don't care."

  "Make me stop, Kenz. Please..." I beg, knowing I'll never let her go if she doesn't stop this. She's got me too far gone to turn back and her new level of sensual confidence is throwing up way too many green lights.

  "No." She says simply, wrapping her arms around me, kissing me just as hungrily as I'm kissing her.

  "Push me away."

  "Never." She whispers, pulling me even closer.

  "What's gotten into you today?" I demand, moving my lips down to suck her neck.

  "I don't know..." she breathes, tilting her head back, letting me suck the delicate flesh of her throat. "Being so close to you all day...touching you...I don't want to stop."

  "Then we're not stopping 'til we've had every fuckin' inch of each other," I move my lips back up to hers and stare down into her eyes. "Once we start this, we can't go back, Kenzi."

  She gulps, a hint of nervousness finally showing, and then she nods.

  "I know, Tor. This is what I want." Taking a small step backwards, she pulls off her shirt and drops it onto the floor, mimicking my dare.

  "I want you to touch me." She says, and suddenly it's Christmas in August as I'm staring down at cleavage for days surrounded by thin, teasing black lace that I want to chew through to get to her. The power keeps shifting between us and now it's my turn to be knocked back into shyness. I feel like I'm fifteen again, awestruck by how beautiful and perfect she is, afraid to touch her or speak for fear of scaring her away.

  I don't let that kid in me resurface for long, though. He's got no right to be here anymore and I'm not letting him ruin this moment for me.

  "Oh, I'm going to touch you," I reply, palming her full breasts and rubbing my thumbs over her nipples peeking through the lace as her lips part in an excited, sultry sigh.

  Bending down, I kiss her and walk her down the hallway to my bedroom, not breaking the kiss or taking my hands off her for a second. After kicking the door closed behind me, I push her onto the bed and crawl on top of her, hovering over her, reading her face. I need to know she's ready for this or I'll never be able to live with myself.

  Reaching up, she pulls the hair tie out of the back of my hair and smiles when my hair falls down into her face.

  "You like that?" I ask softly, stroking her cheek with the back of my hand.

  "I've dreamed about you on top of me like this, with your hair in my face."

  I suck in a quick breath. "You never told me you dreamt about me."

  Her hands skim up my chest, over my shoulders, and clasp behind my neck as she stares up at me. "I was afraid it would make you pull further away from me."

  "I don't think I can pull away anymore. It's a battle I just can't win."

  She pulls me down to her lips. "I don't want you to," her voice is as sweet and soft as her kiss. "Ever," she kisses me again, pressing her body up against mine. "Please." Her lips touch mine again, soft and tin

ged with a dash of strawberry. Irresistible. "This feels right."

  It does feel right. So right that any thoughts of this ever being wrong are being sucked out of me like a vacuum by her lips on mine and her hands slowly roaming over my back, the lace of her bra chafing against my chest, stoking my desire for her until I can't hold back anymore. Crushing my lips down on hers, I kiss her long and deep, using my leg to move hers apart to sink between her thighs, and we both moan and exhale, as if we've been holding our breath forever waiting for that first moment of full body contact.

  I move my lips to the pulse at her neck, kissing and biting her as I move my way down to her chest, kissing the soft swell of her breasts and sliding my tongue deep into her cleavage. I unclip the front clasp of her bra and push the dark fabric away, revealing the most perfect set of tits I've ever seen in my life. Round, firm, creamy pale mounds with tantalizing pink tips begging to be touched. I cup her left breast in my hand before lowering my head to lick a slow circle around her waiting nipple before sucking it into my mouth. Her sudden gasp and the hardening of her tip against my tongue makes my blood pump harder as I drag my tongue across her chest to her other breast, ravishing it with my mouth while I continue to tease the other with my hand, playing the damp pebbled bud with my calloused thumb as I wildly flick my tongue over her. She arches up to me, clutching handfuls of my hair, mewing like a kitten, losing control.

  Standing, I reach down and grab her foot, quickly yanking one sexy little boot off, then the other, before going for the button and zipper of her jeans, my eyes on hers the entire time. Her breathing is heavy as she watches me with wide, lustful eyes, her fingers gripping the white comforter as I undress her. When she's naked on my bed, my heart races in my chest as I give myself a moment to take in her flawless skin and hourglass curves, wanting her more with each inch my gaze devours.

  I kick off my own boots and unzip my jeans, entranced by her eyes and the way her breasts move up and down with each breath she takes. When her pink tongue darts out to lick her lips as I step out of my jeans and boxers, I'm completely unhinged for her mentally and physically.

  Her body is engulfed by mine as I climb back on top of her, and I can feel her trembling beneath me now, either from fear or excitement or probably a mashup of both. My mouth is hard and demanding on hers as I move my body over her, the feeling of flesh on flesh making my cock like a rock between us, pressing against her, seeking her heat. Reaching down between us, I slide my hand between her thighs to gently stroke her pink lips and she's so fucking wet already that it obliterates any ideas of patience and gentleness I may have had. I want in, and I want it now.

  Her nails dig into my spine and she gyrates against my hand as I finger her, our mouths clashing together, tongues dancing. We're caught up in a frenzy of kissing and groping, fighting to get closer and crawl inside each other, and that's exactly what I'm going to do.

  "Are you still on the pill?" I ask against her lips, my fingers expertly strumming over her clit.

  She nods and moves her hands down to my ass, trying to pull me between her legs. "Yes..." she says breathlessly. "For you."

  "Good." I growl, moving between her thighs. She doesn't waver at all when I grab my cock and rub the head up and down between her wet lips and over her clit, coaxing her into that crazy place of wanting nothing but sweet release. Of wanting nothing but me. She writhes and wiggles beneath me, her eyes fluttering closed as she starts to shake and I know she's coming. I give her a few moments before sliding inside her with one deep, smooth thrust. She's incredibly wet and tight, moving her body perfectly with mine, curving her leg around my waist and pulling me deeper into her, letting out a small cry when I'm met with a brief moment of resistance followed by a flood of wet warmth that vaults me into a new realm of carnal desire.

  She's mine.

  I kiss her through the pain and whisper love to her as I drive into her harder and faster. She clings to me, arching up to meet my thrusts, echoing my whispers. I try to force myself to slow down but I can't take it anymore and finally let myself go, gripping her outer thigh to pull her tight against me as I explode inside her.

  "I love you..." I murmur with my lips against her ear. "Forever and longer."

  Time stands still as we rock against each other, our bodies slippery with sweat, her lips pressed against my chest, kissing that spot over my heart that's forever marked with her words.

  And now, her kiss. Her touch. Her love.

  After today, I can never deny the truth again. She completely owns me.

  24

  Kenzi

  Kenzi ~ age eighteen months

  Tor ~ age sixteen

  I stroll into Asher's parents’ kitchen and set my guitar off to the side before I join Ash, Ember, and the baby at the table where they're eating lunch.

  "Tor!" Kenzi shrieks from her high chair, pointing at me with an excited smile.

  "Holy shit, did she just say your name?" Asher asks.

  Ember shakes her head and wipes the baby's face. "No." She says. "Your name is not going to be my daughter’s first word. She said door."

  "Pretty sure she said Tor." I say, grabbing Kenzi's little chubby hand that's reaching out for me.

  "Tor!" She yells again, kicking her legs and giggling.

  Asher leans back in his chair and shakes his head. "She's definitely saying Tor, hon."

  Ember lifts the baby out of her chair and sits her on her lap. "Great." She says, glaring at me, but with a playful smile on her face. "That's because you spoil her, Toren. And your name is easy for her to say."

  Kenzi's green eyes lock onto mine and I wink at her. Anyone who can make me smile like she does deserves to be spoiled. And I can't lie, knowing her very first word is my name is the coolest thing that's ever happened to me.

  Kenzi

  His kisses are so soft and tender as our breathing slows back to normal that it almost makes me fall apart from emotional overload. He leans up on his arms to stare down at me, gently pushing my hair away from my face. His eyes are darker than I've ever seen them, scanning mine like I'm ancient hieroglyphics he's trying to decipher.

  "Are you okay?" He asks after a few long moments.

  "Yes." I'm really not sure if I'm okay or not. I feel lightheaded and my body is humming and quivering beneath his. He's still inside me, my insides contracting involuntarily around him. Everything happened so fast. I spent the entire night last night mentally coaching myself to get my shit together and act like a woman with him today. To be sexually assertive and confident. But all the erotica books I've read and the short soft porn movies I was able to view on the internet hadn't prepared me for how it would all actually feel to have him on top of me, so huge and muscular, or how long and hard he would feel thrusting inside me, spreading and tearing me open to take him. I didn't know an orgasm could feel so amazing, or that feeling him shudder and come would make me feel like the entire world just stopped and only we existed, as one continuously joined, unbreakable heart.

  And nothing could have prepared me for the torrid expression and emotion I'm seeing in his eyes right now.

  "I love you." There's a faint vulnerability in his voice, unlike any other time he's said those words to me. This is no longer friend or you're-almost-family to me love. No. This is heart-pounding, you-have-the-power-to-gut-me, I-can't-get-enough-of-you romantic love. I feel it, too.

  Reaching up, I push a lock of his hair behind his ear and touch his cheek.

  "I love you, too."

  He slowly eases out of me, causing a tiny bit of pain, and moves to sit on the end of the bed with his back to me, running his hands through his long hair. I feel wet and sticky and unsure of what comes next, so I sit up and crawl closer to him, lightly touching his back.

  "Tor?"

  He nods and turns slightly towards me. "I just need a minute, Angel." His voice is low and the anguish radiating off of him is palpable.

  "Okay..." I reply. I want to hug him and tell him everything is perfect. That I've never been happier. That this was meant to be. That I'm so in love with him that I can't even put it into words. But I know that won't fix whatever he's feeling right now, and guilt eats at me. I led him down this path today. I hadn't expected it to end up here in his bed, though. I thought we'd kiss and make out on the couch, maybe take our shirts off and touch each other. I didn't know I'd unleash a sexual animal in him that wouldn't stop until it had its fill. I don't regret that we made love, but I do regret that what we just did could be tearing him up inside. I want him to be happy, not tormented.

  "Can I take a shower?" I ask, respecting his need for a little space. "I feel a kind of sweaty and sticky."

  "Of course, Angel. You can use my shower. I'll wait here for you." He reaches for my hand and gives it a squeeze, then picks my clothes up off the floor where he threw them and hands them to me, his hands shaking. "I think your shirt is in the kitchen." He stands and walks over to his dresser and comes back with one of his t-shirts for me to wear. I try not to stare at his body as he stands there completely naked, but it's hard not to look when he's all muscles and ink and so damn beautiful.

  "Thanks. I won't be long."

  "Take as long as you need. I'm not going anywhere." He pulls me to him and kisses my lips before I disappear into his private bathroom, which I've actually never used before today. I've always used the bathroom and shower in the main hallway of the house. It feels intimate being alone in his bathroom, using his soap and shampoo, but I like it because it all smells like him. The warm shower water feels soothing, and I briefly wonder if I'm supposed to somehow clean my insides since he came inside me or if it just comes out on its own or stays there or what. I feel clueless and stupid. Why doesn't anyone ever talk about things like this? Did I space out in sex ed and miss the parts that covered all this? I know I can ask Tor anything but that seems like plastering a big I HAVE ZERO EXPERIENCE across my forehead. And even though he knows I'm a virgin (or was until a few minutes ago), I don't feel like I should make it even more obvious. I'm going to have to talk to Chloe or Rayne about this sex stuff. I can just tell them I'm curious or dating someone they don't know and hope they don't grill me for too many details.

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