Here & Now

by Melyssa Winchester

  Walking through the front door and making my way down the steps that will lead to my car and an unknown destination, I feel lighter. At least I am until I’m in the car, staring out the windshield and the reality of my situation hits.

  I’m officially homeless.

  Cadence

  I know this isn’t planned, but I need to see you so I’m coming over. I’ll explain everything when I get there.

  After going through my routine for the night, preparing for school in the morning, having a shower and getting comfortable in my pajamas, the last thing I expect is the text I get from Dillon when I finally reach for my phone in order to message him.

  Today was one of the days where we talked a little on Skype, choosing to do it that way with the date he has planned for tomorrow. The last thing I expected to see was that he was coming over, but I can’t ignore the way I react knowing that my night is going to end with me being in his arms.

  Sliding off the bed and making my way out the room, I take the stairs two at a time until I’m all the way down and standing near the door, pushing the curtains back and peeking through, which the second I do, earns me exactly what I’m after.

  Dillon’s car is pulling into the driveway and just as I open the door and make my way out into the dark, his headlights turn off and I’m completely bathed in the darkness. Standing on the step, I watch as his shadow moves across the yard in record speed and it’s only seconds later when I’m being pulled up into his arms and swung around before he places me back down and his lips find mine.

  I can definitely get used to him showing up like this if he kisses me like that.

  No words are spoken as his hand slips into mine and he makes his way to the door. It’s only when we’re inside, the door completely shut and he’s spinning me around until my back is placed against it that everything changes and he speaks.

  “I know we said we were gonna do other stuff tonight, but I needed to see you. I needed this.”

  His lips are on mine again, my own parting, air escaping as he pushes the kiss deeper. His smell mixed with the heat rising off his body, it’s a lot to take in, but instead of scaring me with its intensity, all I want is more. My body presses into his, my own strength pushing me away from the door where he’s got me blocked in, and it’s then as his arms come around me, pulling me completely into him that the light above us starts flickering and my mom makes her way in.

  Pulling away, I feel the heat rise to the surface in my cheeks and watch in awe as Dillon’s seem to do the same. Even with all the time that’s passed and how accepting she’s been of him and our relationship, there are still some lines he won’t cross when it comes to her. And being caught with me now, it’s definitely crossing a line.

  One of sheer embarrassment.

  Dillon’s lips immediately start moving and it’s not hard to see what he’s saying. I was definitely right about the embarrassment and now he’s doing damage control.

  “Hey Ms. T. Uh—sorry about just showing up, but there was something I needed to talk to you and Cadence about.”

  “Was what you had to talk to her somehow stuck in your throat and you needed her help to get it out?”

  His face goes red again and I can’t hide the smile that creeps across my face as he reacts. I know I’m not the first girl that’s ever been with him, but I get the feeling this might just be the first time he’s ever been caught with one.

  He’s never looked more adorable than he does right now.

  “No, Ma’am.”

  Moving completely away from the door, I take his hand and head for the living room. He said there was something that he came by to talk to us about and in order to save him from whatever else my mom plans on saying right now, I’m willing to get to it even when it’s the last thing I want.

  My body along with my heart is still back at the door pressed against it and eager to do it again. A sentiment he must also agree with as the minute my eyes catch his when I’m seated, there’s a heaviness to the normal dark shade of brown that speaks to his desire.

  Our desire since I’m pretty sure the same look is completely clear in mine, which is definitely not going to go unnoticed by my mom.

  When she’s in the room and comfortably seated across from us, Dillon turns toward me just enough that I’m able to catch his lips as they move, but not so much that he’s completely turned away from her and he finally starts to explain what his text was about.

  “You know how things have been with my mom before I left and even now that I’ve been back. We got into it earlier and I left. I can’t get through to her. No matter what I say she’s going to keep on thinking and reacting the way she has been and I can’t deal with it anymore.”

  He’s not the only one that’s been dealing with Rebecca Murphy. When Dillon first left for Toronto, she kept her comments strictly focused on me, choosing to do it when my back was turned, not thinking my mom or whoever I might have been with at the time would tell me what was being said, but the longer he was gone, the more she upped her assault.

  She involved my mom and it got so bad that at one point, she had been called into the office at Wexfield High and had to answer to the school board over false claims with her students. I’ve known about her since we got together last year, I just never knew it could be this bad.

  “You did the right thing leaving. Normally I am against that sort of action between a parent and a child, but in your case it seems as though there’s almost been a reversal of roles in the last few years. With everything you are already having to face heading into college, the last thing you should be worrying about is parenting your mother.”

  Leave it to my mom to get straight to it and pretty much say everything I’m thinking as I think it. She’s always been this way, but it’s seemed to get a lot more pronounced since Dillon came into our lives. We see eye to eye on a lot of his issues, first with his father and then with Rebecca.

  “Yeah, well I’m right there with you, Ms. T, but walking away, especially right now with everything still tied up tight legally, it’s put me in a jam.”

  “What kind of jam are you talking about?”

  “I need a place to stay.” He starts, but before my mother can interrupt, he holds up his hand. “It wouldn’t be forever, just a couple of days, but when it comes to people I trust that I can turn to, they’re sort of in short supply.”

  My heart softens when he says he trusts us. It’s not like it wasn’t well known, but whenever he opens up enough to admit things like this, it always has the same effect. Dillon is most definitely more than my mom and others believed him to be a year ago. He’s also being completely truthful right now. Other than Kayden, my mom and I seem to be about all he has left.

  Which just makes me hate Bruce and Rebecca Murphy even more than I already did.

  “Do you really think that’s a good idea?” My mom asks, interrupting my thoughts and bringing me back to the reality of the situation. What she’s getting at, she’s got a point. Staying here, at least for her, is definitely not a good idea.

  But that’s not what my heart hears. It’s also not what my body reacts to. The idea of Dillon staying here, even if it’s only for a few days, makes the feeling from earlier when he had me pressed against the door even more prominent.

  We could be alone together.

  “No. It’s not a good idea and despite the fact that I’m a guy and I definitely think like a guy whenever I’m around your daughter, I still need to ask.”

  I want her to say yes to this so bad I can taste it. When Dillon was in Toronto, it was torture for me. If he was close, even for a short time, it would go a long way to making things better for me. I need that connection we had back again.

  The connection I willingly pushed away because I wanted him to experience life without worrying about me so much.

  “Dillon, you’ve given me no reason to doubt your sincerity over the last year, but what you’re asking, it’s a lot, and with what I just walked in on, I’m not sure
I can trust the two of you to abide by the rules I would put down.”

  She doesn’t even finish and I can already feel myself frowning. I want to keep the way I’m feeling to myself, but the amount of things I’m experiencing as she’s talking, it’s too much for me to hide.

  I’ve never given her a reason to believe I’d go against her. I’ve been the model daughter other than a few slips last year when I was trying to get to know the guy gripping onto my hand tightly now. She said she understood that, me seeing what no one else could, so her going back on that now hurts.

  “I understand, trust me. It was a shot in the dark anyway. I should have gone to Kayden, but like I said, not a lot of people I trust; adults especially so I wanted to bring it to you first.”

  How easily he’s giving in bothers me. I know Dillon’s changed, but couldn’t he at least attempt to fight this? Make her see that it would be okay for him to stay here? Why is he just lying down and taking this? Where’s my Rocky when I need him?

  Squeezing my hand, I look up, and the minute our eyes meet, the answers to my questions are there.

  He’s not fighting her because of the way he feels about me. He knows that even with as many assurances as we could give her, we’d still find a way to break the rules. The incident at the door proves it. We want to be connected to each other, especially after the distance, which means not even the threat of my mom could keep us apart.

  She’s right. Dillon staying can’t happen, but I really wish it could.

  I’ve got it bad.

  “Would it be alright if I just hung out here for a while? I’m not quite ready to head back out there yet.”

  Head back out there. To nowhere. I really can’t let this happen.

  “Mom, please let him stay.”

  She stands and makes her way over until she’s bending over the both of us. “You’re not kids anymore and I know that what I’m doing may seem cruel, but until you’re parents, you’ll never understand. This is what’s best for the both of you. As for Dillon spending time with you, he’s always been welcome in this house before and just because I won’t let him stay here for a few days doesn’t change that.”

  “Thanks, Ms. T.” Dillon answers first, which I just follow up with a curt nod. Despite knowing she has a point, it doesn’t lessen how bad I feel inside.

  When Dillon leaves tonight, unless Kayden takes him in—my boyfriend, the guy I’m head over heels for, won’t have anywhere else to go. A situation I never thought in a million years he would ever find himself in.

  It’s just wrong.

  “I’ll give you two some time, but Cadence, I’m watching.”

  She strolls from the room and my body instantly turns into his, the impact of everything that’s been said over the last few minutes finally taking its toll as the tears begin to fall from my eyes.

  Reaching up to wipe them away, our hands connect, Dillon having caught it and having the same idea. It’s only when I let him wipe them away and really look at him that the dam threatens to break again.

  “It’s okay, Caddy. I sort of figured that’s how it would go down, and she’s got a point.”

  “If Kayden says no…”

  “He won’t say no. Coming here, asking her for this, it was selfish. I wanted to be able to be here with you, not because I don’t have any other place to go, or even because I trust your mother more than any other adult on the planet and needed her help. It’s because I wanted to be able to sleep with my girlfriend.”

  “Sleep with me?”

  “Not like that. Just sleep. Even being at home wouldn’t change that. I want to know what it feels like to wake up beside you. I want shit that I’m in no position to want right now.”

  “You’re allowed to want things.”

  “Not those kind of things. Not yet. We said we were gonna take this slow.”

  “We are.”

  “Baby,” he pauses, tapping his chin. “If I stay here, there’s no way in hell I’m keeping my hands off you. Your mom was right. I can barely keep my hands off you now.”

  “I want you here.”

  I’ve heard him, but what my head knows is right and logical and what my body and heart want are two completely different things. I don’t care how right my mom is, I still want to give him what he wants.

  He’s not the only one who wants to know what it feels like to wake up next to each other. I do too. I have for months, long before he even went to Toronto.

  “I want to be here so bad it hurts, Caddy.”

  “Then be here. When she goes to bed, I can pretend that I’m sending you to Kayden’s, but you can stay.”

  His eyes soften as he grins, a flash of the earlier desire present before fading and the hold he has on my hand tightens.

  “You’re killing me.”

  “Like the Russian and Rocky in Part Four?”

  “Not quite, but close enough. And I’m really gonna regret having that marathon with you now.”

  “Why? Because I might like them more than you?”

  “No.” he laughs before running his other hand across the hand still gripped tightly in his. “I’m going to regret it because of how into them you are. It’s kind of hot, which does nothing for me fighting your idea of sneaking me into your room.”

  “So you do want me to sneak you in.”

  “Yes—No. Caddy…”

  “What?”

  “I’m gonna stay with Kayden. I know what your mom said bothers you, but just with the way this conversation is going, it’s clear she’s right. Are you going to be okay with that?”

  Until a few minutes ago, there wasn’t even a plan for him to stay here, so of course I’m okay with it. I can’t help that I want more, or even that he does, but logic is going to win out because even with as ready as I feel to be with Dillon in every way, I don’t want it happening like this.

  I really hate being such a good girl. Just once I’d like to see how the other half lives and do something different.

  Tired of talking, I lift my hands and sign my answer.

  I’m okay with it.

  “Good. Now that we’ve got that out of the way, there’s something else I need your help with.”

  What’s that?

  “There are things I want to say, but I can’t seem to find the words. I think they’re stuck in my throat. Do you think we can spend the next couple of hours getting them unstuck?”

  Chapter Three

  Dillon

  Showing up on Cadence’s doorstep three nights ago was a long shot, but with the time it would take the lawyers to pull their heads out of the asses and advance me some of the money in order to get a place, I was running low on options.

  I knew it was gonna be a no even before I got there. It had to be a no because Sarah Taylor is a lot of things, but stupid isn’t one of them. She knew that letting me stay there—even if it was only for a few days—would end up with us together instead of apart the way she would’ve wanted.

  Respect is a word I’m not familiar with. Other than my coach in high school and now the coaches here in university, I really don’t have any at all, but Cadence and her mom are different. After the way senior year went down, Sarah Taylor has my respect.

  Sure, Kayden and Belle probably should have been my first stop, but when it comes to Cadence, she’s my safety, which means she’s always first. Even if I should know better.

  Despite what the outside world might think, I’m kind of glad Sarah told us, or rather me, no. With the way I feel about Caddy, it’s only a matter of time before our relationship takes this gigantic leap forward and we finally sleep together. I’m not in the mood to rush that even though I’m pretty sure my dick has other plans.

  I’m not a virgin. I’ve been with girls. A few before Amelia and I started dating a couple of years ago. I even did things with her, even if we didn’t take it all the way, so I’m not exactly a choir boy when it comes to this stuff. I’ve always just dealt with it in the same way. Get horny, find a girl to relieve it a
nd move on to the next one.

  At least that’s how I was until Cadence.

  I can be a total jackass at times, craving her so fucking badly that it’s physically causing me pain, and I’ll swallow the shit down and deal because where I might have been down this road a bunch, she never has and I respect that.

  Her mom saying no was the best thing for us because it’s hard enough to ignore the attraction and urges when I’m around her after school and practice. The last thing I need is to face it under the same roof.

  Cadence in the morning, afternoon and night is something the old me would have jumped at, but the new me wants to avoid.

  So it’s that resounding no that landed me on Kayden’s doorstep later that night, which judging from the look on his face when I explained how everything went down, he wasn’t pleased about.

  ~*~*~

  Watching as Kayden slides the door open after I’ve attacked his doorbell for the third time, I notice his mouth open, but he closes it almost immediately as his eyes actually take in who’s standing on the other side.

  It’s late. I spent way too much time over at Caddy’s, so him being pissed at someone laying on his bell at this hour, it’s understandable. The scowl he wears once he realizes it’s me is definitely expected.

  “Dill, what the hell are you doing here?”

  “I need a favor.”

  “A favor that made you bang on my door at midnight instead of talking to me about it tomorrow?”

  “Yeah. You know I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t important.” When he nods in agreement I motion to the inside of the house. “Can I come in?”

  “No.” Kayden smirks. “I think I’m gonna let you suffer out here a little longer.”