Phoenix (Flames & Ashes Book 1)

by Carolyn Anthony

  I put a hand on his chest, trying to calm him. “Not at all. Jaxxon, I’m good. No problem. They were just leaving.” I nodded to the car as the two friends moved toward us.

  “The problem . . . ” the driver started.

  This little shit couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

  “ . . . is that your bitch needs to open her fucking eyes.”

  I chanced a glance at Jaxx.

  The muscles in his cheek twitched hard and he firmly took my hand off of his chest, placing it at my side.

  Oh, shit.

  “The fuck did you just say to me?” Jaxxon thundered.

  When Jaxx moved toward the driver, the other two lunged at him. The driver took a step to join in and I kicked his leg out from under him. I used his shock to put him in a wristlock, slammed him to the ground face first, and buried my knee in his lower back. I leaned down to him. “Stay there, mouth. This is on you.”

  Jaxx ducked and came up with the two guys by the shirtfronts. He banged them together twice, and I swore their eyes rolled into their heads. Grabbing them by their napes, he slammed their faces into the hood of the car on either side of him, holding them still. He glanced at me and the driver under my knee. “You wanna talk shit now, motherfucker?” Jaxx barked at the kid squirming underneath me. “The fuck you think you were gonna do, bitch?”

  The two kids on the hood of the car came to enough to gain some sense. “We’re cool, dude. No problem.” Both threw their hands up.

  After what felt alike a full minute, Jaxx let go of them and stepped back, the fury behind his eyes suggesting letting them go was not something he wanted to do, but he did. Instead, he approached me and the kid.

  I leaned down to the driver. “Are you going to play nice?”

  “Let me up!” he shouted.

  “Let him go, Valentina,” Jaxxon demanded.

  I lifted my knee and stood up with Jaxxon’s hand under my arm. When I was at my full height, Jaxxon moved me behind him, reached down, and dragged the kid up by the front of his shirt, lifting him until his feet dangled off the ground. “Let me get shit straight here. You were gonna go heads up with someone old enough to be your grandfather, and then come at my lady? You were gonna lay hands on her, you fuck!”

  The kid trembled as Jaxxon shook him hard.

  He turned to me, face blazing red. “Did he fucking touch you?”

  I stepped close enough to him to touch his face and ran a thumb over his cheek. “No. Look at me, Jaxxon. He didn’t get a chance to.” I winked at him. Instead of the smile or the grin I was hoping to get, I got a curt nod.

  Jaxx dropped the kid, who fell to his knees before scampering to his car.

  “Get the fuck outta here. And slow down in parking lots, you dumb fuck!” Jaxx yelled.

  Then the kid backed up a hell of a lot slower than he came down that lane.

  “We saw the whole thing, son,” the elderly man said as he and his wife approached us. “That’s one gutsy lady you got there. And it wasn’t just us he almost hit, that kid almost hit a lady down the row.” He scribbled something on a business card and gave it to Jaxxon. “If you need witnesses, here’s our number.”

  Jaxx took the card, but didn’t say a word.

  “Thank you,” I said. “I’m sure they’ll rethink their speed in parking lots after today. Are you sure you’re both okay?”

  The elderly man chuckled and shook his head. “We’re fine, young lady.” He looked at Jaxx. “You’re a good man. Just enough to scare the shit out of ‘em.”

  His wife nudged his arm. “Fred, don’t be crude. Leave them be now. You both have a good day, and thank you.”

  I smiled and wished them both a good day.

  I’d never seen Jaxxon speechless or this . . . enraged. Not in the short time I’d known him. He walked around to the passenger door, opened it, helped me in, strapped me in, and shut the door. He got in on the driver’s side and gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white, trying to get his breathing back under control.

  I watched him closely. He hadn’t overexerted himself. Not at all. He was trying to get his temper under control. He was all anger and power, so much so the energy of it bounced around the truck cab. “Jaxx . . . ”

  He shook his head. “Are you okay?” he asked, not looking at me, but at the wheel. “I should have been there. I’m sorry. I should have fucking been there.”

  “You can’t be in two places at once. It was fine, honey. I’m fine. Look at me.” When he shook his head and closed his eyes, I touched his thigh. “Jaxxon, please, look at me.”

  He took a deep breath and after a while turned his head toward me.

  “It’s not your fault that kid was an asshole. I handled it, and then you were there. It’s fine. I’m fine.”

  He squeezed my hand on his thigh, before placing both of his back on the wheel. “I need a minute. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

  “You didn’t scare me, babe,” I said softly, and took my hand back.

  “I should have.”

  “Well, you didn’t. I know you. You wouldn’t have really hurt them.”

  An eerie snicker filled the space between us. “No, baby. You don’t know me . . . ”

  He was making way more out of this than there was. Those kids needed to be taught a lesson, and he gave it to them. End of story. “I know enough.”

  “I hope you do.” He studied me for a long moment as if he had to make sure I was okay one more time. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’d never hurt you. I will never let anyone hurt you.”

  “I know that.” And I believed it down to my soul, or I wouldn’t have been with him, but he wasn’t hearing me. I could take care of myself to a damn good extent. I’d made sure of it.

  With small nod, he finally started the truck, pulled out of the parking space, and headed to the loading area where he’d left our stuff.

  I wasn’t afraid of him at all. I was more afraid for him. Something about the encounter had shaken him up. I’d give him space. He was always very aware of me, and what I was feeling at any given time, so I gave him the same respect.

  It was a silent drive back to my house.

  23

  Jaxxon

  Way to build trust, dumbfuck. You know she’s freaked out about something when it comes to you, and you lose your shit on three dudes right in front of her?

  I stacked up the wood and organized the rest of the shit while Valentina did something in the kitchen. Sure, she was probably trying to figure out how to get me out of her fucking house, despite her arguments she wasn’t afraid of me. Christ, I’d fucked up.

  Once I was triggered, I saw red. Men who bullied or laid hands on women—not on my motherfucking watch.

  I’d seen those three bitches crowding my lady and nothing else—until she put the driver on the ground like an afterthought. Son of a bitch, Valentina was wicked fast. She was so unassuming and loving, I tended to forget the black belts, but she took that motherfucker down like a damn MMA fighter with a knee in his spine and his wrist in a sick-ass lock.

  The soft patter of bare feet and clanking glasses preceded her entrance to the office. She put a tray on the little table in front of the loveseat and sat down, pulling her legs to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. When my eyes met hers, I didn’t sense any fear or hesitance, just concern. It was written all over her sweet face. Better to deal now.

  “You afraid of me now, sugar?”

  “Will you please sit for a second?” She patted the space beside her.

  I turned the bill of my hat back to the front. “Yep.”

  I sat down, both of us barely fitting on the little thing. An upgrade to furniture in my size might be in order, if she decided not to run for the fucking hills.

  When she crawled into my lap, straddled me, and linked her arms around my neck, I froze. Not the expected response. Relieved, I pulled her legs in closer and wrapped my arms around her, thankful she hadn’t written me off yet.

  “Are you ok
ay?” she asked, her eyes darting between mine.

  “Yeah, baby. I’m good. You?” I rested my hands on her ass and squeezed. The woman was gonna fucking kill me with the warmth and concern.

  She smiled and ran her hand through my ponytail. “I’m not afraid of you. You did nothing my own father wouldn’t have done, and I can’t guarantee he’d have stopped. Italian temper and all. But you did.”

  Fucking barely.

  “Jaxxon.” She ran a hand down my cheek and a finger over my bottom lip.

  “Babe,” I kissed her finger and held her hand. “I have sisters . . . A daughter,” I continued. “A mother. Anyone fucks with someone I love or care for, especially a woman, it’s not something I deal with well.”

  She threaded her fingers through my hair, and it took everything I had not to close my eyes and just let her lull me back to a calm place. My blood still raced with unreleased anger, and I couldn’t get rid of that unsettled feeling in my stomach.

  “That’s not a bad quality. You protect those you care for. What’s the problem?”

  I repositioned her so she sat back and I could see her beautiful face. “I’ve been known to get into fights over women I don’t know. Any woman. Drove my ex insane. But I won’t sit there and watch a woman get hurt if I can stop it, and I usually can. It’s gotten me in trouble before.”

  With a dramatic sigh, Valentina nodded and untangled herself from my lap.

  I glanced up at her standing between my legs.

  She smiled down at me, stepped back, and offered her hand.

  “What?” I asked. I was in the middle of trying to explain my shit, and she was . . . fuck if I knew what hell she was doing.

  “I get it. My father is insanely overprotective too, but the fact that I can take care of myself eases his mind a little.”

  “Yeah, I didn’t miss that. Impressive fuckin’ takedown, but—”

  “No buts. Get up, please.” Her eyes danced under the fading sunlight streaming in through the window, and the little smirk on her face was like a tranquilizer to a rabid fucking lion.

  I put my hand in hers and she grunted theatrically, pulling me up. As I reached my full height, she bear hugged me. Before I could lift her up, which I fully planned to do, she pulled back a little. “Jaxxon . . . you do realize I can put you down too, right?”

  I laughed and pulled her into me, squeezing her tighter than I should have. She was unpredictable and fucking adorable. Given her instinctual reservations with me, I’d expected hesitance, distance, and what I got was a challenge? “I might feel better if you could.”

  “Challenge.” She grinned like the Cheshire cat. “I like your style.” One perfect eyebrow raised and she moved out of my embrace and into the open space in the office. She pointed to a place about six feet away from her. “Right there.”

  “You’re serious?”

  Her eyes narrowed to slits and her smirk turned downright evil. “Dead serious.”

  I turned my hat backwards and waved her on. “Come with it then, sugar. Let’s see what you got.” I wouldn’t hurt her, obviously, but she’d definitely succeeded in killing a tense situation and for that, I was grateful. I’d play along and spin this so she ended up on top of me.

  Yeah, we were goin’ with that plan.

  She cocked her head at me. “Well . . . if this was a threat in real time, I’d jab you in the eyes, but I really like your eyes, so we’ll keep them where they are. Then I’d knee you in certain parts of your anatomy to get you on the ground, but ah, we might need them at some point. So let’s go with this, come at me. And Jaxx . . . ” she waved me on with a come-get-some gleam in her eyes. “ . . . don’t hold back.”

  Fuck me. She was like a hot mini-ninja. I quickly lunged at her and reached out with my right arm, intending to wrap her up and pull her into me.

  Next thing I knew, I was eating carpet with one arm twisted behind me, her knee in the tender part of my lower back and her other hand around my nape.

  What in the good fuck?

  A melodious and lilting sound filled the small room as she laughed and leaned down to my ear. “Babe, how very disappointing . . . I never pegged you for a man who underestimates a woman based on her size.” She kissed my ear and sat on my ass.

  I turned to look at her in awe. “I didn’t even see you move. Shit me. You’re the real fuckin’ deal, sparky. Damn.”

  “I promise, hon.” She crossed her finger over her heart. “I am not helpless. I won’t allow myself to be helpless ever again.” She moved her knees on either side of my legs and rested her hands on my chest before I could question, “again.” “But if you still have doubts, I’m more than happy to do another demonstration. You know, just so we can set your caveman mind to rest.”

  The playfulness in her tone—instant tension-killer and a huge fucking turn-on.

  I reached up and ran a finger over her lower lip. “Nah. I’m solid, sugar. My turn.” I wrapped my hands around her biceps and dragged her up so she was straddling my chest. The light in her eyes instantly shifted from humor to heat, and she gasped. I ran my hands up her thighs to just under the legs of her sexy little shorts. The heat coming off her tempting pussy was almost too much. Jesus, with one tug, I could have had my mouth on her, and I had the worst urge to hear her scream my name as I ate her like fucking dinner.

  When her eyes dropped, I rethought that action. There were moments with Valentina where she reminded me of a wounded animal, and this had just become one of them, knocking me right out of sex mode and into protective.

  She scooted down my chest, over my stomach, and laid down on top of me, her ear over my heart. “Can you just hold me, please?” she murmured.

  “Over you kicking my ass? All night long, baby.” I kissed the top of her head and ran my hands over her back, listening to her breathe. Lifting my knees, I forced her farther up on my chest and she buried her face against my neck, wedging her arms behind my head.

  “I’ve needed this since last night,” she mumbled against my skin.

  Stroking her hair, I bunched the sides and gently pulled, which earned me a sexy groan. “You should have charged that damn phone and turned it on. I’d have been here in no time.”

  She sighed into my shirt, warming the skin underneath. “I love the way you smell. You always smell like clean sheets, fresh snow, and pine trees. Even at the gym.”

  My poor dick. Fucker was hard as shit, but she seemed to need this, so she’d get it. Fresh snow? Irish Spring. Whatever, as long as it worked for her. I scooted her down my body a few inches so I could see her face. “You always smell like some kind of fruit or cookie. I eat both, by the way.” I brushed my lips over hers and laid back down, not pushing anything more.

  We lay there on her office floor, lost in each other, and I had a gut feeling she was stuck somewhere else. She’d taken the fight right out of me. Just fucking killed it with her casual acceptance that protecting women was a part of who I was as a man. What I got? Self-defense wasn’t just a part of her. It was self-preservation to the point of survival. Skills like hers weren’t just taught. They were part natural talent, part training, instinct, and something you learn only when you’ve been on the losing side of violence.

  24

  Valentina

  Well, this was a first.

  I had read the same sentence over and over in the makeshift office Jaxxon had set up in my spare bedroom. This was a clear indicator I was, for the first time in my life, officially sexually frustrated. He was a machine in that office—all business. I couldn’t stop thinking about him just down the hall from me. The night after my Christmas party a few weeks ago kept running through my head, tormenting me.

  Okay, I had hang-ups about him seeing me with no clothes on, but he’d said he’d work around it . . . I was pouting. Me! Pouting about sex, but since we hadn’t had sex yet, I was pouting about the sex we weren’t having.

  Wow. New low.

  He’d been here all week. Night after night, except Wednesday,
when he’d seen his children. He’d locked himself in my office, and only took a break when I forced it on him. I’d have to knock on my own office door. He’d step out, indulge me for a few minutes, eat whatever I’d made for him, kiss me on the forehead, and head right back in—total focus.

  He was adamant I didn’t go into the office until he had the framework completed, and he didn’t trust me not to peek. He’d gone so far as to change the doorknob and keep the key. That I’d even allowed something so invasive floored me, but he’d been dead on. The temptation to look would have been way too much for me.

  The few times I’d see him each night tortured me. Having him in my home and not being able to spend time with him, and to my absolute horror, not being able to touch him—had become a constant tease with no release in sight. I’d come to crave his company. His humor. The hungry look I’d get anytime I did see him did nothing for my uncharacteristic state of lust.

  I’d qualify the entire week as platonic, aside from the occasional hot look or kiss, so I had time to analyze . . . us. Jaxxon had uncoiled a part of me I’d kept wound tight, and I was now struggling to reel back in.

  I ached for him. But what exactly did I want from him? I wanted more time with him. I wanted more moments like we’d had two weeks ago. But was that fair? Jaxxon was perfection, and not just physically, but as a man. It was a bitch trying not to get too attached to him, since we were both anti-commitment—not that I wanted that, but it was my reality.

  I shut my laptop a little too hard and yanked the earbuds out of my ears. Tilting back in my chair, I looked out the picture window at the sun just about to set. Soft oranges and vibrant reds streaked across a fading blue canvas of a sky. Sunsets warmed me from the inside out, and usually calmed whatever chaos was going on either in my head or around me, but not tonight.