Phoenix (Flames & Ashes Book 1)

by Carolyn Anthony

  I stretched out my fingers a few times, not allowing them to fist. The urge to beat the shit out of this prick for making her this self-conscious, feel this undesirable, was near uncontrollable.

  Comfort zones I could work around until she got comfortable enough with me. She’d been with a dick who didn’t do a damn thing for her sexually. In a way, her lack of experience made her an innocent. She had nothing to compare the explosive attraction between us to.

  I moved her mussed hair behind her ears and stroked her face. “Sugar, whatever you need. I’m a creative motherfucker. I can work with what makes you comfortable.”

  A soft chuckle escaped her mouth, but when her eyes met mine, I caught the steely resolve behind them. “Why? You don’t have to settle for half a woman. I’d understand.” The seriousness in her tone, marked her words as truth, not self-pity—she believed it.

  Settle?

  The fuck . . .

  Encircling her biceps, I drew her closer to me so my cock pressed against her core. With a hand on her lower back, I guided her right up against me. “Does it feel like I’m settling for you?” Her head dropped, but I slid my hand around her nape. “Eyes, baby.” She met my gaze. “Answer me.”

  “No,” she whispered. “But—”

  “No buts. I understand we’re still getting to know each other here, so let me be clear: I’m not a man who settles. I want what I want. You told me about the scars. I told you I don’t care. If it makes you uneasy to be naked, then you won’t be. Done.” I brought her lips to mine, but kept her from making contact. “I know you want me. I’ve made no secret about wanting you. Christ, I’m constantly hard as a fuckin’ rock around you. This is your call. Don’t write this thing between us off because of some asshole. You’re not the only one taking a chance here.”

  “I know that.” She leaned back to stare at me.

  I let her take as long as she wanted. Anything further had to be her decision and not something she went with because she was turned on. I didn’t want her that way. I’d broken all my rules for this woman, but I needed it back or I was out.

  I was an honest motherfucker, I could admit I was more invested in her than I ever intended to be. I’d back off, if she needed me to. The last thing she needed was to be hurt by another man. I could push this, and she’d probably give in to me, but that would make me an asshole. I wanted her real, raw, and that I would demand of her.

  Sitting up straighter, she glanced at the light on the table by the couch. “Can I turn the lights off? Will you mind?”

  A fucking meat hook through the chest would have been easier to take than the insecurity lacing her voice. Fuck yeah, I minded, but right now, I’d pretty much give her anything she wanted, sex or no sex. “If you have to move, hell yes, I mind. I’ll get it.” I sat up, pushed my hands around her ass, and stood. Strung so tight I wanted to break shit, her laughter lessened the rage pulsing through me—men who ruined good women, hell reserved a special place for those motherfuckers. “Better yet, can we move this into your bedroom?”

  She nodded and I yanked her up higher, getting a better grip on her. reaching up, I tilted her head to the side and took her mouth like I fucking owned it.

  Her soft tongue stroked against mine, hesitant at first, then more aggressive. Her arms locked around my shoulders, her legs a vise grip around my waist created a heaven I’d stay locked within as long as she let me.

  I marched down the hallway, praying to whatever the fuck saint made men last longer, because I hadn’t been laid in a while, and this was goin’ until we both passed out.

  Trudging through her bedroom door, I stopped short. “Dogs?”

  “Out,” she murmured against my lips.

  Slamming the door with my foot, I stopped at the edge of her bed.

  I let every inch of her supple body slide against mine, as I lowered her to the floor. When her feet hit the ground, her arms shot around my waist.

  Swinging us both around, I sat down on the bed, keeping her standing between my legs. Yanking up the hem of her little dress, I wedged a hand in the front of her shorts and drew her to me. Gripping the sides of her dress, I gave a small tug.

  She dropped her arms, her white skin glowing soft against the dim rays of moonlight coming in through the sheers. I made quick work of that dress, scrunching it down around her waist and wrapping my arms around her before she got too lost in her head.

  Soft breasts pressed against my chest, her perfect nipples digging into my pecs. I skimmed my hands up her back, wrapping rich, silky hair around my hands and slammed my mouth over hers.

  With a sexy moan, she pushed against me. I lifted her up to straddle my legs. Even through the material of her shorts, the heat of her pussy warmed the place where our bodies connected. I licked inside her mouth, savoring the sweet taste of chocolate and bananas from the dessert she’d made earlier.

  She locked her arms around my neck, devouring my mouth with hers. I laid back on the bed, taking her with me. The harder I kissed her, the more she fidgeted. A hand on my cheek cradled my face in an erotic exploration, all tongue, lips, teeth, and hands.

  When she grinded on top of me, I used the dress to hold her immobile as I pressed myself against her. Her quick intake of breath tickled my ear. Her thighs tensed as she sat straight up.

  She shifted her hips back and forth so slow, I grabbed the comforter so I didn’t grab her, as she moved on my cock as if to get a feel for me. And a man can only take so much . . .

  Pushing up, I sat with her astride my hips, and lifted her until I caught one tight nipple between my teeth. I bit down just enough to give her a touch of pain, testing her boundaries. She moaned deep as I licked at her, only to flatten out and stroke the entire area. My name tumbled from her lips on a breathy exhale. I slid my thumb over her before drawing the swollen bud back into my mouth to soothe the pain.

  “Yes,” she groaned into my hair, raining little kisses over my face. “Jaxx . . . more. Please.”

  Untangling myself, I slid off the side of the bed and pulled her by the ankles to the edge. When I reached my full height, she looked up at me with eyes so big and so wild if I were a lesser man, I’d have come right then.

  With trembling hands, she reached for the elastic of my workout shorts and unlaced the tie. Her fingers sweeping and stroking anywhere close to my cock was a big no-go until I had her soaking wet and ready.

  At six-foot-seven, I was a big man, and the rest of me was proportioned to my height. She’d need some time to get used to me, especially since it had been four years for her.

  I covered her hands with mine stopping her from doing anything that might bring my gentlemanly efforts to a screeching halt.

  I took her face in my hands and leaned down, not kissing her, but nipping at her lips. Using my chest, I forced her to lie back and knelt between her legs. As soon as I slid my hand up her calves and under her knees to pull her down to me, she stiffened.

  “Wait,” she gasped and jolted up. “What—what are you doing?” Her hand covered mine.

  Oh, my fuck . . . This cocksucker.

  I brought my fingers to the front of her shorts. “Baby, did he go down on you?”

  When she jerked back, I held her in place.

  “Jesus! Jaxx . . . ah . . . he tried once in a while . . . ” Her chin dropped to her chest, but I lifted it back up with a finger.

  Her blank stare damn near shattered my heart.

  “It—it wasn’t his thing.”

  The scars.

  Jesus Christ! Who was this prick?

  Her arms snaked around her chest and a shiver racked her body.

  Had to squash that shit quick. I pulled her forward by the ass cheeks. “Hey, sugar, look at me.” When she finally raised her head, I drew her even closer. “Any man who doesn’t eat pussy is a selfish prick, and doesn’t know dick about pleasing a woman—cold, hard truth.”

  Her eyes widened and her hands flew over her face.

  At first, I thought she was crying. />
  Then the laughter finally broke through her fingers as she shook her head. “You—I—you. The things that come out of your mouth!”

  I smiled and formed my hands around her calves. “Baby, I can do some wicked shit with my mouth,” I teased. If fluorescent red was a color, it covered her entire torso. “You’ve been with one asshole who didn’t know what the fuck he was doing.” I put a hand around the back of her head and pulled her down to me, putting my lips to her ear. “All week . . . I’ve been in your office, trying not to go to you, not to touch you. Since the first night, I slid my fingers through your warm, wet pussy, all I can think of is your taste on my tongue. Teasing you until you beg me to make you come, and sugar . . . you will beg.”

  Her breathing skipped as I dropped my hands, unbuttoning her shorts and dragging the zipper down.

  She clutched my shoulders. “You, don’t have to do this.” The words were soft, unsure, but there was an undercurrent of straight-up need there too.

  “What if I said I do?” I wedged my hands into the back of her shorts.

  If she was gonna stop me, she could, but her shaking hands and the question in her eyes said she was on the fence. I slowed, but kept sliding her shorts down and she didn’t stop me.

  That’s it, sweetness. Take a chance.

  My gaze never left hers as I got the shorts around her hips, and with a firm pull, wedged them under her ass “Lift up, sugar.”

  She anchored her hands behind her on the bed, leaned back, and lifted her hips slightly.

  As soon as she moved, I pulled her shorts down her legs. The scent of her arousal hit me, fresh and clean like a cold winter morning with slightest, sexiest hint of female musk. My cock grew harder, which I didn’t think fucking possible at this point.

  I dragged them over her knees and off her feet, dropping them to the floor. Anchoring my hands under her knees, I guided her to the edge of the bed, until her ass came right to the end. She grabbed my discarded shirt and yanked it across her stomach.

  Her lace-covered pussy glistened in the moonlight. Her chest rose and fell faster as I leaned up, forcing her to lay back on the bed. Her thigh muscles quivered under my fingers and I massaged my way back down to my knees. “Shhh, baby. Easy.”

  I kissed the inside of her knee, working my way up her soft thigh, leaving no part of her skin untouched or unattended by either my mouth or my hands. I traced the long scar with the tip of my tongue, kissing her as I worked my way up. Her legs shook so hard, I tightened my grip and kissed along the lacy seam of her panties, her scent enveloping me.

  “Fuck me, sugar. I’ve gotta taste you,” I growled against her skin. The movement was small, but I caught the slightest rise of her hips toward me.

  As I ran my thumb over her mound, she moaned and pushed against me. The tension in her thighs eased a little. I looped my fingers around the sides of her thong, caging her cleft and working her swelling clit using just the material. Up and down, I used the lacy strip to build her up until she was moving with me.

  She was saturated—fucking phenomenal the way she responded to me. I ran a finger along one side of her soft, bare lips. A small strip of dark hair lay under her wet panties, but the rest of her was completely bare. When she canted her hips again, I yanked that cock blocking material to the side, finally about to taste my new favorite obsession.

  And my motherfucking phone blared through the room like a goddamn national alert.

  Motherfuck! Valentina jumped so high that I grabbed her and held her down. “Slow, sugar. Hold on. Shit, baby, I gotta check it.”

  “You have kids.” She jerked her legs out from under me. “Of course! Check your phone.”

  With a grunt at my fucked to shit luck, I stood, dug through my pocket for my phone, and shackled her ankle. “Stay there, could be nothing.” I fully planned on kicking Chase’s fuckin’ ass on Monday all the way into goddamned Tuesday if his name came across my screen.

  The only reason I did check lit up my phone. “It’s my daughter,” I said as I answered. “Jess? What’s up, honey?”

  Valentina yanked my shirt over her head and wrapped her arms around her legs.

  “Calm down. Where are you? Put Mom on the phone. Leah? What the fuck happened?” I stood up and listened to my ex while looking around for my damn shoes.

  Valentina jumped off the bed, pointed at my feet, and then to the door and took off at a sprint.

  “She fell? How? Is it bad?”

  Valentina came back in with my shoes, keys and a bottle of water.

  “Yeah, I’m coming, put her back on. Hang tight. Atme, meine Kleine. I’m on my way, sweetheart.” Poor Jess, she was trying to hold it together, but she’d never had to get stitches before. “You’re okay. Mom says the doctor fixed you up good. Yeah, honey. I’ll check out his work. If I don’t like it, I’ll kick his ass, deal?”

  The chuckle coming through the other end of the phone reset my heartbeat back to normal. Her fear outweighed the pain at this point.

  “Right, don’t tell Mom I said that. Hang tight until you see me, and then you can cry all you want. That’s my girl. I love you. On my way.”

  I stood up, shoving my feet into my shoes. “I’m so damn sorry, baby. Shitty fucking timing.” I glanced at Valentina, curled up, arms around her legs on the bed. “My daughter tripped on my ex’s stairs. Few stitches—”

  “Stop. Don’t explain! Poor thing. Is she okay?”

  I reached out and squeezed her hand. “She’s fine, but I have to—”

  Valentina jumped off the bed and scurried toward the door. “Yes! Go—you have to go to her. I’d want my daddy too.”

  I glanced at her as I sat down on the bed to tie my shoes.

  Daddy . . . The word came out unconscious, instinctual. Almost like she wasn’t even with me in the room. I took a quick inventory of her, making sure she was okay. Her eyes appeared glazed and vacant. The word “daddy”—really, it was more the tone—just hit me as . . . haunted.

  Snapping out of whatever fog she’d been in, she glanced down her body and came back to the bed, about to lift my shirt off.

  I grabbed her hand again. “Keep it on. I have another one in the truck. You look good in my shirt.” I tied my last shoelace and got up off the bed.

  She stood there, staring at me as if looking at a stranger.

  “Babe, you okay? Jessa’s fine. She just needs to see me.”

  “Atme, meine Kleine,” she whispered with perfect pronunciation. “Breathe, my little one. That saying . . . it’s . . . familiar . . . ”

  Her voice had grown soft, unnerving, and I leaned down to make out what she was saying. The far-off look was back.

  She shook her head hard and refocused on me.

  I ran a hand over her cheek. “You know anyone who speaks German?”

  “I don’t.”

  “But you know the translation and your pronunciation’s perfect.” I wrapped my hands around her hips. “Jump.”

  “I know a few words,” she admitted, but jumped up on to me while I walked out of the room.

  She locked her legs and arms around me so tight, I hated to have to put her down. I put my lips against her ear, taking in her tropical scent, and lowered her until her feet hit the floor. “My ex says it’s not bad, but I gotta see her myself. You want me to come back?”

  “Yes,” she mumbled against my shoulder. “If you’re not too tired.”

  “Tired’s a state of mind. Do me a favor while I’m gone?” I kissed her forehead and she jumped down.

  “Anything.” She held out my hoodie.

  I took it from her and shook my head, unable to hold the chuckle back. “Sweetness, never respond with ‘anything’ when a man asks you to do him a favor.” Lifting an eyebrow at her, I shrugged into my jacket. I took the keys from her, bent down and kissed her neck. She wrapped her arms around my waist and I nuzzled her ear.

  “I’m about to hold you to that ‘anything,’ because I cut you off in the worst fuckin’ way. I want you to g
o to sleep. Fucking rest, baby. When you wake up . . . ” I moved so our lips almost touched. “Stay in bed. Get comfortable. Snuggle deep, and I want you to touch yourself. I want you to think about me, about my tongue on your clit. Licking you, tasting you.”

  I sucked her bottom lip and let go, but kept her mouth against mine. “I want you so wet, your fingers slide through that pussy I want so fuckin’ bad until you can’t take anymore. Own your pleasure, baby. And when you come, say my name. Out loud.”

  Her entire body stiffened, her eyes went wide, and her soft mouth shaped into an inviting “O” I had no time to take advantage of. I kissed her on the forehead and tapped under her chin.

  “Close your mouth, sugar.” I winked at her, shut the door behind me.

  Arousal was ninety percent in the mind. After making sure my daughter was good to go, I fully planned to finish what I’d started. Jesus, cutting her off like that sucked ass, especially because she wasn’t used to it. Until I got back, I needed her to stay aroused, hot.

  Hopefully the suggestion worked. Right now, my daughter needed me. I’d make sure the most important female in my life was okay, and then come back and take care of the one fast becoming more important than I cared to admit.

  26

  Valentina

  My eyes fluttered open to a darkened room. I didn’t remember falling asleep.

  I willed my eyes open further and glanced at the clock. 3:00 a.m. Jaxx had left last night around eleven. He must have changed his mind and went home after seeing his daughter.

  I tried to ignore the disappointment I had no right to feel. His daughter had been hurt. I remembered those times being young, when I’d get hurt and only wanted my dad. When only dad could take away the pain and make the world right again . . . But unfortunately, I also knew there were things not even dads could save children from.

  Sitting up, I looked at the end of my bed and then around the room, listening.

  Where were Chris and Kyle? I’d actually shut the door without them in here? Adrenaline spiked through my system and my breath caught in my throat. I’d been in here alone. For hours. Since the day I’d brought them home, I’d never slept without them. Ever.