Phoenix (Flames & Ashes Book 1)

by Carolyn Anthony

  “Open your legs a little, sugar.” His husky voice sounded deeper in the steamy shower.

  I widened my stance. With one hand anchored on my hip, he spread the lather over the scars on my lower abdomen with the other. He didn’t rush. He traced the outline of each one and ran a slow finger across the tops of them. I watched him touch me. Felt the callused glide of his fingers over the ridged peaks and smooth edges of each one.

  He split the vee between my legs with his thumbs. Sliding them along my outer lips, rubbing them up and down before sliding over the center of my cleft.

  When his thumb breached my opening, I gasped and opened my eyes to stare up at the variegated rock ceiling of the shower. With each touch, my body reacted with a rush of wetness between my thighs.

  “You’re trembling.” The stroking never stopped. “Are you cold?”

  Cold? No. If anything he’d set me ablaze. “I . . . ” Words became insignificant. I couldn’t articulate the experience of his touch. How do you describe a cleansing from the inside out?

  “You what?” He sought my eyes, while pushing between my lips and strumming over my sensitive, swelling bundle of nerves.

  A craving for him burst through me, intensifying with every stroke, every caress. The thorough washing of my entire body with no reservation on his part had my every muscle quivering, and the only sound I heard was the fast, loud, beating of my heart. “Jaxxon . . . ” I brought my head back down.

  He stood then, moving me under the hot sprays of water, washing away all remnants of soap, along with any reservations I had about how much I needed him, wanted him. Loved him.

  “Look at me, Valentina.”

  I lifted my head, my name on his lips alone felt like a caress.

  Taking my hands in his, he brought them down and wrapped them both around his hard, velvet shaft. “Still think I don’t want you?” Using my hands, he stroked himself from base to tip, growing harder within my grasp.

  As his hands fell away, I stroked him slowly, watching every swollen vein and smooth ridge disappear and reappear between my hands.

  Everything about Jaxxon projected power, strength, and protection and for the first time since I could remember, I felt safe, not just physically, but to my very soul.

  I grabbed his soap and lathered my hands. Starting at the ripped cords of his abdominals, I smoothed my hands up over each ridge up to his rock hard pecs, over his never-ending shoulders, down his defined biceps, to his forearms, and interlaced my soapy hands with his. “You’re so beautiful,” I said softly. “You’re perfect.”

  A deep, raspy chuckle echoed throughout the bathroom. “Thank fuck you think so.”

  I let my fingers rest on his hips and rubbed the pads of my thumbs along the grooves of his hip bone to his pelvis, and finally back to the base of his shaft. I dropped one hand down, and took his heavy sacks in my hand, letting their weight rest in my palm as I explored his softest skin with my fingers.

  “Jesus, baby,” he said, on a hard exhale. “You have the softest touch. Fuck.”

  A smile spread across my lips and I rested my head against his sternum. He kneaded his hands through my hair, as I worked back up to his shaft. I stroked him from tip to base before splitting my fingers over the top of him, over the small slit at the top.

  When his forehead rested on the top of my head, I found his breathing as erratic as mine. “I’m not gonna stop you, sugar, but if you keep this up, it will have an endgame, and you’ve had a rough night.”

  “No.” I went up on my tiptoes while he still had his head bent and crushed my mouth to his, and his tongue breached my lips on contact. I clutched at his shoulders as his skilled tongue devoured mine. “Please,” I blurted out against his mouth. “Here, now.”

  Jaxxon dropped his hands to my hips, and lifted me up on to one of the long benches, leaning his big body into mine. “Turn your hands around and hold on to the top of the shower, the top of the glass. Tight, baby.”

  I did as he asked, panting.

  With his eyes locked on mine, he took a knee on the floor and lifted my right leg over his shoulder. He turned his head, tracing the long line of my scar with his tongue, kissing the skin along the way, until he reached space between my thigh and my core. He stroked his tongue over my thickening lips, licking up either side, before taking each one between his teeth and teasing me into a frenzy. My legs shook when he skimmed his tongue up my slit from bottom to top in one long lick, stopping only to take my clit between his lips.

  “Jaxxon,” I groaned. “I missed you so much.”

  He sucked my bud in a firm, steady rhythm—not hard enough to push me over, but enough to build the anticipation. The moans and sounds falling from my mouth became incoherent pleas.

  Pulling his face away, he slid two fingers through my lips to rub me in tight circles. “I love how wet you get.” He bent his head, licking the tender space under his fingers, “I missed the taste of you.”

  Back and forth, he teased and seduced, licking with his tongue, caressing with his hands, igniting the heat in my body so much, I felt like every inch of my skin burned. I let my head fall back against the glass as I labored to breathe through his thorough seduction, and at some point, the world fell away, leaving nothing and no one, but him and me, and this fire blazing between us.

  His fingers slid up and down right on top of my clit and glanced up at me. “Let go for me, baby.” Splitting my lips wide, he leaned in and flicked his tongue over me hard and fast.

  When I screamed his name, he sucked me into his mouth. Years of tension quivered out of every muscle. “Oh . . . Jaxx!” I groaned as euphoric tremors consumed me. The leg I was standing on gave out, but he caught me by lifting an arm up across my chest and holding me against the glass. He licked me slowly, drawing out every last shudder.

  I looked down my body, losing myself in the golden glow of his magnetic eyes. “Make love to me.” I ran my hands down his chest as he got back to his feet. “Please. Here.” I couldn’t wait. All I could think of was the feel of him inside me and how he felt like home.

  “Not here.” He lifted me into his arms, his mouth plundering mine as he walked out of the shower and straight to his bed, leaving a trail of water behind us. Laying me on the bed, both of us soaking wet, he covered my body with his and rested his weight on his elbows on either side of my head.

  “Jaxx.” I split my legs and locked them around his waist, trailing a hand along the side of his face. “Love me.”

  “All the time, sugar.” He kissed my forehead, down to my nose, and finally bent to seal his lips over mine. I opened to him and he plunged his tongue between my lips at the same time he entered me in one smooth, fluid thrust, not stopping until he was seated fully inside me.

  I wrapped one arm around his neck and ran them down over the strong muscles in his back, as he pulled out and pushed back into me hard and slow, setting a maddening pace that had me moaning into his mouth as I drew his silken tongue between my lips. I arched my back against the bed and he slipped one hand under my backside, lifting me up to him. Alive. Jaxxon made me feel alive, made me feel instead of just exist.

  Pulling away, he caged my face between his hands. “Look at me, baby.” His gaze held me hostage as he rocked his body in and out of mine, forcing me to feel every ridge, every raised vein, every hard inch. He hit the sweet spot inside me with each thrust and each retreat of his rimmed head, forcing me to the delicious edge only he could take me to.

  In and out, he rocked inside me, never moving faster, just longer, harder. Perfect. When my legs began to tremble, he pulled his arm out from under me. Balancing on one hand, he lifted his torso, but never broke the rhythm of his strokes.

  “Jaxxon!” I grabbed onto the tendons between his neck and his shoulder, trying to pull him back to me, missing his weight on top of me.

  “Just keep looking at me.” He licked his thumb and rested his hand on top of my mound. Dropping his thumb down, he slid between my spread and swollen lips and drew sm
all circles around my clit. The combination of him driving inside me, the tenderness of his erotic touch, and his constant, but steady pace had me gasping for air and grabbing any part of him that would bring him closer.

  I searched his eyes, which never left my face. “Jaxxon,” I panted and lifted both hands to his face. “I love you—please . . . Make me come.”

  “Always, liebste. You’ll always come for me.” The words were bitten out in time with him finally beginning to move faster. I couldn’t fight the pressure any longer, and when he pushed into me harder, I screamed his name as a zenith of pleasure burst through what felt like every cell in my body. My muscles contracted around him, my body clamping down on his.

  With a final thrust, my body filled with the warm jets of his release, intensifying the tiny quakes rolling over my body, wrapped around his cock, pulling him deeper. He sucked in a breath and dropped to an elbow above me, his long groan rumbling across my ear.

  “I fucking love you, baby.” He traced the shell of my ear with the tip of his nose, before taking it into his mouth and pulling back. “You’re like the goddamn sun to me.”

  He rolled over, taking me with him and I rested my head on his chest. I closed my eyes for a second, snuggling closer to him, realizing I’d never felt more loved, nor had I ever loved this deep. I felt safe with Jaxxon . . . safe to be me, safe from the past and for the first time, unafraid of . . . life outside of my comfort zone. I’d taken the biggest risk in my life trusting him, and I now knew what emotional safety felt like.

  I’d always felt physically safe with him, but, like my dad, Jaxxon had a stronger protective instinct than most men, especially when it came to the women in his life, even women he didn’t know. It was one of the first things I noticed about him.

  I rested my chin on my hand and traced a finger around the J.V.R tattooed across his pec. “What’s Jessa’s middle name?”

  He covered my hand with his. “Viktoria, after my mom.”

  I smiled up at him. “I love that you have her initials tattooed over your heart.”

  His chest rose on a deep breath and he exhaled hard. He cleared his throat. “It’s not for Jessa.”

  When I met his eyes, there was a flash of something I couldn’t name, but every muscle in his body tensed and his tone was . . . off. “Can I ask who it’s for, if not Jessa?”

  The muscle in his cheek twitched, he bunched a pillow under his head, and moved a strand of hair out of my face. “I have three sisters, baby. Bridge, Elle, and Julia. Julia Viktoria, also after my mom.” He threaded our fingers and looked down at our locked hands. “Jules died when she was twelve. She was three years younger than me—my little sister. I was with her . . . when she died. It was hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with and something I’ll carry till I’m fucking dead.” He shook his head as if to clear it. “So, yeah, the J.V.R—it’s in memory of Jules.”

  I scooted up his chest, and placed a soft kiss on his lips. “I’m sorry you lost your little sister. I’m sorry for whatever pain you carry because of losing her.” I ran a finger over the initials again. “It’s beautiful. Thank you for telling me.”

  When I went to sit up, he grabbed me and ravished my mouth with a hard, hungry kiss before pulling back and framing my face. “Thank you, baby. Thank you for being strong enough to trust me with you. I know what that took. I will always protect you, your heart, all of you.”

  The power radiating from his fingers, from his body, carried to me through his touch, and I placed my hands over his. “I love you, Jaxxon.”

  “I love you, sugar.”

  47

  Valentina

  One month later—April

  I secured the straps around my knees until I was pretty sure my circulation was cut off, but the tighter the wrap, the stronger the bounce back if I got into trouble. Six plates. I’d done it easily enough last week with Jaxx. My knee had never felt better. Instructor Kovov had cleared me to test with the next class tomorrow—as long as I passed an individual session with him alone tonight after training.

  Jaxxon had been amazing, letting me practice on him night after night. God bless that man, but he could be the most stubborn shit on the planet. The only way I’d gotten him over the fear of hurting me was to blindside him. After I’d set him straight . . . he’d been perfect.

  I wasn’t deluding myself. I knew he’d never hurt me. A predator was a different story, but I was more confident now than before. I’d see tonight how my newfound confidence held up.

  I’d taken it easy while lifting today, but I needed the blood in my legs pumping. My legs were key—they were the strongest part of my body. I had to be all power and instinct tonight.

  Ten reps max, enough to get a good pump. Anything more without Jaxx to spot would be unwise, and I wasn’t about to chance another injury.

  Unlocking the protection slats, I had just pushed the platform up when my name came through loud and clear over my ridiculously deafening music.

  “Valentina!”

  I kept the weight up, but turned to see Jaxx stalking toward me, looking way too good for someone about to work out. Black, low-slung gym shorts and a red tank stuck out from under the bottom of his navy blue hoodie.

  I smiled up at him as he loomed over me. “You’re late, Superman.”

  “Oh, yeah? I’m late? Lock it in.” He nodded to the platform and pointed at my legs. “And you’re locking out your fuckin’ knees again. That’s how you got in trouble last time.”

  “What? I just got it up and now that you’re here—”

  “Lock it the fuck in,” he barked.

  Wow. Grumpy much? I threw the slats, letting the weight slam back down. “Babe, are you grumpy?”

  He glowered down at me. “If I am, it’s not my fault. Some minx kept me awake most of the night, and then I woke up to a freezing cold, wet snout on my damn pillow, Valentina.”

  I shot a finger up at him. “That is not my fault, Jaxxon. You’re the one who gave me shit, insisting Kyle sleep on the bed with us. I said it was okay for him to sleep on the floor with Chris, but you were adamant Kyle be with us, so the wet snout’s on you.”

  He’d ruined my exceptionally well-trained dog in the course of one month. Any time Jaxxon stayed with me now, Kyle lost his mind and scooted up the bed closer to us, closer to Jaxx, which was absolutely out of character for Kyle. Every time I woke up in the middle of the night, there was Kyle, wedged between us with his head on Jaxxon’s arm or chest. Granted, when I had a nightmare, my baby did his job, but he’d taken a serious liking to Jaxx. I was going to have to take my dog back to training because of Jaxxon’s obsession with my nightmares.

  He walked around behind my seat, put his hands on either side, and leaned over me.

  I looked up at him upside-down, unable to stop smiling.

  “Yeah, the hot smile isn’t gonna work today. I’ve got a question . . . ” He leaned closer until he was inches away from my face. “How are you even able to walk after last night, let alone do a leg workout?”

  My face heated and I giggled. “I wanted to let you sleep. You need sleep, and I was getting antsy. I couldn’t just lay there.”

  While he was going for stern, the playfulness in his hazel eyes gave him away. “Antsy, huh? I didn’t tire you out? I’m losing my touch. Up.” He moved behind the rack and began removing plates from the press.

  “Hey, Jaxx! Come on,” I reasoned. “I took it easy the entire workout . . . I promise. I need a good burn. I’m not working out tomorrow, and I’m getting a massage before I meet Kovov. I’ll be fine.” Damn him!

  He grinned at me and kept dropping plates on the floor. “I’m gonna ignore the fact that not more than five months ago you hyperextended the knee with less weight than this—”

  “That was your fault too.” I sat straight up in my seat and started unwrapping my knee straps with one hand while blowing him off with the other. “If you hadn’t made me so damn nervous, I’d have never lost focus and blown the knee. You know I can ha
ndle this weight. Especially strapped.”

  “I wasn’t finished.”

  “Oh, dear God.” I rolled my eyes at him. “Finish already.”

  He dropped the last of the weights and came around to lean on the side of the machine. “You have an eight-hour black belt test tomorrow and a pre-test with Kovov tonight. Should you really be lifting heavy? And without me on top of it?”

  I threw one of my straps at him. “You’re here now, and you were sleeping! I was being thoughtful.”

  “You weren’t thinking, period.” He began rolling the strap.

  Oh, no he did not!

  “Jaxxon Alexander, you better check the tone. I know my body.”

  Before he could come back with what was sure to be a smart-ass or sexually loaded comment, Terry walked up to stand beside him, and they both glowered down at me.

  “Are you two serious right now?” I yelled up them.

  “Overdoing it again?” Terry asked Jaxx.

  “When does she not?” Jaxx responded.

  Terry looked down at me, smiled, and hit Jaxxon on the shoulder before walking away. “Handle that?”

  “All over it.” Jaxxon smirked and turned his hat backwards. “Up. Now.”

  “Thanks, Terry, you’re supposed to be on my side,” I called after him.

  “I’m on the side that doesn’t get you hurt,” he replied a hand over his head.

  “Up!” Jaxx waved a giant hand at me.

  I pulled myself up out of the seat, scowling at him. “You’re a total caveman.”

  A huge, wicked smile slashed across his ridiculously handsome face as he dropped my second strap into my open bag. “Caveman, huh?”

  Now that look meant trouble. Keeping his eyes locked to mine, he knelt down, zipped my bag, slung it over his head around to his back, and stood up.

  No way he’d let that slide and I’d opened the door wide. “Aren’t you lifting today?”