Phoenix (Flames & Ashes Book 1)

by Carolyn Anthony

  Well, if they really couldn’t see in . . .

  He caressed my stomach and slipped his hands up to my breasts. He cupped them both and squeezed my nipples between two fingers. As my eyes began to close, he pinched harder. “Keep ‘em open.”

  On a moan, I lifted my head, braced my hands on the window, and pressed back into him.

  He slid his hands from my breasts down to my hips as he leaned over, resting his chest on my back. Reaching one hand between my legs, he slid two fingers down the sides of my slippery lips and glided them into me. “You’re drenched, baby.” He began to circle my clit with his thumb.

  I let my mouth fall open as he worked my body into a near frenzy. I arched my back and pushed into his fingers with each penetration. “Please, Jaxx.” I needed him inside me, needed to feel myself surrounding him.

  “What’s that?”

  The more I moved, the more leisurely his movements in and out of my body became. My arousal coated the tops of my thighs. Slow wasn’t working. “Shit . . . babe. Please.”

  He straightened up, keeping his hand where it was, and dropped his towel with the other. “Please, what?” He worked his fingers deeper, rubbing my aching clit harder.

  “Please . . . ” I let my head drop down between my arms, trying to catch my breath.

  He ran one hand up my back, wrapping my hair around his hand, and causing my mouth to fall open farther when he pulled just hard enough. “You need my cock, baby?”

  “Yes,” I gasped and dropped my eyes to the street below, watching the people on the street who had no clue of the sex show happening twenty-seven floors above them.

  “Eyes!” he demanded in a voice laced with so much authority I moaned his name hoping he’d stop with the teasing. “That’s it, sugar. Please, what?”

  His fist was wrapped so tight in my hair I could only look into his hungry eyes through the window. “Please, fuck me,” I groaned as he quickly pulled his fingers out of my needy pussy.

  The sexy grin had barely spread across his face when he slammed into me balls deep.

  I pushed against the widow, trying to stay upright from the impact of him behind me.

  “Jesus Christ,” he exploded. “So fucking tight. Always so tight.”

  He drove into my body, each stroke sliding over the sensitive part inside me. My lower body tightened to the point of pain. The tension spread down my legs, up my chest, but he never moved faster, just harder. My breathing fragmented and I clawed at the window. “Jaxx,” I cried. “I can’t—I can’t . . . ” My entire body was a like an elastic band stretched so tight it was about to snap.

  “You’re about to,” he said, bringing both hands to my hips and lifting so my toes barely touched the ground. “Brace yourself, sugar,” he said, as he moved faster and thrust deeper.

  “Yes!” I cried out and reached a hand back, digging my nails into his hip. Every muscle tensed and spasmed around him.

  “Jaxxon!” My body shattered. I clenched around his cock, sucking him in deeper and my legs gave out. Only his arm under me held me up while he drove through my orgasm, hard and deep. With a final thrust, warm jets filled my body and the spasms intensified. In and out, he slowed his movements until we both came back to coherence.

  With a hard slap on my ass cheek, he pulled out, spun me around by the shoulders, and picked me up. “That ‘okay’ enough for you?”

  “Smart-ass.” I giggled and turned my face into his neck.

  He laid me down on the bed and disappeared into the bathroom. He came back with a warm towel for me and climbed into bed beside me, burying his face in my hair. “I fucking love when you come apart so much you scream,” he mumbled.

  Lifting up, I flipped around, pulled his arms around me, and snuggled into the crook of his neck. “That’s your fault.”

  “That’s my pleasure.” He chuckled and kissed my forehead. “Sleep, liebste. Early flight.” He was already half-asleep when he said the words.

  “Thank you for coming with me.”

  “Stop thanking me, baby. I’ll go anywhere with you.” I curled into him and let the steady rhythm of his breathing lull me into a peaceful sleep.

  A loud tortured roar woke me from a dead sleep. I shot up from the bed disoriented and grabbed my chest. Not another one—not without Kyle . . . But I wasn’t sweating. I knew where I was, and I wasn’t crying. I remembered nothing.

  I ran a hand over my chest, my abdomen, my thigh, examining them. I hadn’t slapped or scratched myself. My skin wasn’t red. And that was when I heard the noise that tore me out of a deep dreamless sleep.

  It wasn’t me.

  It was Jaxxon.

  He was faced away from me, hunched over in his sleep, talking, growling out words that made no sense. I raised a hand over his shoulder to wake him, but his body began to jerk, to thrash. I’d never seen him like this. The man slept like the fucking dead. In the times we’d slept together over the past months, I’d never heard him talk in his sleep.

  I moved to wake him again, but the next words out of his mouth stopped me cold. I sat there staring at his back for too long. I had to wake him up. I crawled out of bed, wrapped the discarded towel around me, and moved to kneel in front of him. This was not a just a dream . . .

  From my research on night terrors, I knew better than to touch him. It’s why Kyle was the only one to bring me out. I stayed just out of reach in case he came out of it violent. “Jaxxon,” I called out in a soft tone. When soft had no impact, I said his name a little louder.

  The shaking stopped, but he kept talking. More and more words spilled from his mouth sending chills down my spine.

  “Jaxxon!” I nearly shouted, half in shock, half in torment for him, if there was any validity to the tragic picture his words painted.

  He bolted up and turned to my side of the empty bed. “Valentina . . . ” he called groggily.

  “Here, babe. I’m here.” I soothed.

  He flipped around to me. “The fuck you doing on the floor, baby? Come back to bed.”

  I just stared at him. “Jaxx, you—you don’t remember?”

  “Remember what, sugar?” He lay back down on the pillow, a small smile on his peaceful, sleepy face, and reached out a hand to me.

  I stood and carefully sat on the bed beside him, putting the hand not holding my towel on his shoulder, which he covered with his own. “Jaxxon . . . I think you had some kind of night terror, or something.”

  He shook his head, and if he hadn’t been looking me dead in the eyes with such a genuine sense of cluelessness, I’d have sworn he was lying—but he wasn’t. “Don’t remember my dreams, baby. Never have.”

  I squeezed his shoulder. “You don’t remember anything? You were shaking.”

  He shook his head and reached for me, but I stayed where I was, my hand on his arm.

  “Okay, but . . . do you know you talk in your sleep?”

  If I wasn’t touching him, I still wouldn’t have missed his entire body tense up—every muscle strung tight and his eyes flew open wide. “What did I say?”

  I rubbed my hand up and down his arm, but he caught my wrist, stopping me.

  “Valentina.” His voice was low, but firm. “What did I say?”

  I tilted my head, my heart bleeding for him, trying to stop the tears welling in my eyes. Everything started to piece together. Kyle’s strange behavior in bed when Jaxxon slept over. His mother’s hope. Julia’s death. “Jaxxon . . . ”

  “Baby!” he demanded. “What’d I fucking say?!”

  “You said . . . You said you killed her.”

  THE END

  Coming Soon

  GUARDIAN

  FLAMES & ASHES: BOOK TWO

  It’s fucked up but it’s true. We become complacent. Over time, we become desensitized to pain, from what drives us to seek justice. If the guilty go unpunished, if they go free, over the years our pain dulls—hurts less. Unless you’re me. If you’re me, you wait eighteen years.

  Yeah, I remember each and ever
y one of my nightmares. Shit. If anything, I sleep just so they’ll come. Just so I can watch the life drain from the eyes of the piece of shit that killed my baby sister. Bet your ass I made a vow, and it’s one I live to keep. It’s permanently inked in my skin so I never forget this is my fault. That I could have avoided all of it, kept her safe, if I’d only listened to her. And since it’s on me, it’s my duty, my privilege, to avenge her.

  My hesitance? My kids, but I’ve worked damn hard since they were born knowing this day would come. They know their father loves them and their futures are well provided for. I’ve spent fifteen years making sure my kids have a strong support system, that they’ll be successful, because they are my life and deserve only the best. I did all of this, with my eye on this day.

  My conscience, though, my heart—Valentina. This will destroy her. For a woman who’s never trusted easily, who’s been betrayed by men in the most fucked up ways possible, how does she forgive what I have to do? Will she understand I can’t allow her or those I love to breathe the same air as he does? Does she know me well enough to understand I have to do this? Given the tragic past she just trusted me with, will she be able to handle the man she loves becoming a murderer? Is she strong enough to understand a vow that cannot be undone?

  COMING 2019

  Sign up to receive updates!

  Phoenix Playlist

  JAXXON

  “The Past”—Sevendust (feat. Chris Daughtry)

  “Arabella”—Artic Monkeys

  “Goodbye for Now”—P.O.D.

  “Winter”—Tori Amos

  “Never Alone”—Lady Antebellum

  “The Hollow (Live)”—A Perfect Circle

  “I Gotta Try You Girl”—Buddy Guy

  “Contagious”—Trapt

  “Highway 20 Ride”—Zac Brown Band

  “Craving You”—Thomas Rhett

  “Phantom Bride”—The Deftones

  “Do I Wanna Know?”—Artic Monkeys

  “This Time”—P.O.D.

  “Back to Me”—Of Mice & Men

  “Necessary Evil”—Motionless In White (featuring Jonathan Davis)

  “Would You Still Be There”—Of Mice & Men

  “You’ve Seen the Butcher”—The Deftones

  “Is This Love”—Whitesnake

  “Closer”—Nine Inch Nails

  “I’ll Follow You”—Shinedown

  “As You Are”—The Weeknd

  “A Different Kind of Pain”—Cold

  “Never Gonna Be Alone”—Nickelback

  “Storm”—José González

  “Behind Those Eyes”—3 Doors Down

  “Everything Beautiful”—Ill Niño

  “Happy?”—Mudvayne

  “Shadows of Suspicion”—Andrew Britton

  “Never Giving Up”—Of Mice & Men

  “Remedy”—Adele

  “Silent Lucidity”—Queensrÿche

  “Sextape”—The Deftones

  “Forever Young”—Bob Dylan

  “Everygreen”—Dark New Day

  “Addicted”—Saving Able

  “Ghosts”—Luke Cusato

  VALENTINA

  “Damaged”—Plumb

  “Fully Alive”—Flyleaf

  “Wait”—Earshot

  “Determine”—Mudvayne

  “Wait and Bleed”—Slipknot

  “Gasoline”—Jan Arden

  “All Nightmare Long”—Metallica

  “Crawling”—Linkin Park

  “Fear and Loathing”—Marina and the Diamonds

  “Fear”—Sarah McLachlan

  “Half”—Pvris

  “Fall Into Sleep”—Mudvayne

  “Ice”—Sarah McLachlan

  “Dirty Pretty”—In This Moment

  “Till It Happens To You”—Lady Gaga

  “Lost In the Echo”—Linkin Park

  “Fix Me”—10 Years

  “Oh Lord”—In This Moment

  “you should see me in a crown”—Billie Eilish

  “Muddy Water”—LP

  “Code Blue”—The-Dream

  “All Around Me”—Flyleaf

  “Lies In the Dark”—Tove Lo

  “Titanium”—David Gueta, Sia

  “Shadows”—Lindsey Stirling

  “Heavy In Your Arms”—Florence + The Machine

  “Bloodstream”—Stateless

  “Set Me On Fire”—Flyleaf

  “Not Afraid Anymore”—Halsey

  “Helium”—Sia

  “Last Hope”—Paramore

  “What’s Wrong”—Pvris

  “Little Lies”—Fleetwood Mac

  “I Am the Beast”—Blue Stahli

  “Anyone Else”—Pvris

  “You and I”—Pvris

  “Blurry”—Puddle of Mudd

  “Room of Nightmares”—Black Label Society

  “The Dream”—Jocelyn Pook

  “Lost Girls”—Lindsey Stirling

  “I Get Off”—Halestorm

  “Easier to Run”—Linkin Park

  “Blood”—In This Moment

  “Sad Romance”—Jy Pyeong Kwon

  “Broken”—Seether (featuring Amy Lee)

  “No More Tears”—Ozzy Osbourne

  “You”—The Pretty Reckless

  “Take Flight”—Lindsey Stirling

  “I Am The Fire”—Halestorm

  “Syrup & Honey”—Duffy

  “The Devil In I”—Slipknot

  “Beyond the Veil”—Lindsey Stirling

  “Say You Wont Let Go”—James Arthur

  “Closer”—In This Moment

  Acknowledgments

  My world, my anchor, my heart ... my Mother.

  You were taken from me too soon. My days consist of trying not to drown without you. You were thrilled about this book and wanted so much to see it published. So for you, Mama, good, bad, or really bad, we are going through with its publication.

  Ophelia Bell, for reminding me what she expected of me, for helping me accomplish what she wanted, for your never-ending faith, your support, and for your confidence that I still exist somewhere inside this dark abyss.

  My friends and family (there are too many of you to name) who were with me around the clock the past two months—there are no adequate words to express how blessed I am to have you in my life. The love I have for you is unquantifiable. The most inconceivable times show us whose love is true, loyal, and pure. I know exactly who each of you are, and I am forever in your debt.

  To my readers, thank you for sticking with me through my extended absence. I am deeply touched and will do my very best to bring you amazing stories and make you proud.

  My father and my brother ... She would want me here with you; I love you with all I am.

  All my love,

  ~ Carolyn

  About the Author

  I’m going to skip the third person and bring it straight to you, friends. I’m Carolyn. I was born and raised in Southern California where I still live with a two cats and two dogs. I spend most of my days writing in the garage. When I’m not writing, I’m either at the gym or my day job.

  I celebrate art in all forms—I love it all, but reading is my drug of choice. While I read wide in all genres, my Achilles heel is MC and Paranormal romance. One thing I will not live or write without is music. You can bet the house there will be a playlist for every book.

  I write Contemporary romance. I write relatable storylines that deal with real life, so you won’t catch me shying away from pain or emotional rawness. Not all my heroines start out strong or unbroken. That’s not real life in my experience. I want to read about women with uncompromising determination, who battle not just external but internal obstacles, and throughout the story within whom I can see growth. You can count on hardcore, overprotective, and flawed alpha heroes—I’d be lying if I said I don’t love a hot redeemable asshole. And I believe deep down, a real man grows too.

  Shattered Boundaries novels are steamy as fuck
and celebrate all forms of sexuality, as well as the courage it takes to own it. Speaking from experience, since we’re being honest, it does take courage to own your individual sexuality in today’s world.

  Sexuality is one of thing exclusively yours, my lovelies, celebrate it!

  That’s what you need to know about me. I’d much rather hear from and about you my friends.

  Life’s too short—love fierce.

  You are most welcome to stalk me everywhere!

  WEBSITE

  TUMBLR

  BOOKSPROUT

  Others:

  Also by Carolyn Anthony

  Twenty-Four Hours

  The second chance that might never happen…

  Eve Luccio waited years for her first love, but somehow their lives were never quite in sync. Now, at thirty-six, her only focus is completing the final year of her PhD. The last thing on her mind is the honor-driven former Navy SEAL who stole her heart as a teen and left her unable to love any other man since.

  When Jake Theron walks back into Eve's life, his presence shatters her walls of self preservation. He unleashes a dark sexuality that Eve never imagined she would experience, much less come to crave. All he wants from her is a day of her trust—twenty-four uninterrupted hours before she crosses the country for her Post Doctorate position in New York. But letting down her guard for even twenty-four hours with Jake might just destroy her.

  For Jake Theron, Eve was always "the one that got away," except even after two decades, she's still under his skin. When Eve finally agrees to see him, Jake vows he won't let her slip through his fingers again.

  But nobody knows better than Jake what a vicious bitch fate can be. When his life gets in the way, he realizes he may have to let Eve go once again—this time for her own good.