Ride a Cowboy... or Two (Mail Order Bride MFM Roamce)

by Terry Towers

  A dozen excuses raced through my mind, but none were good enough to attempt to try on her. On a deeper level, I knew it was time, and facing the daunting task seemed a little less painful if I had Nina with me. With her strength, I could power through it or die trying.

  Chapter 19

  Nina

  Calvin hesitated before walking into the closet. Stepping up to him, I placed a hand at the small of his back, not saying a word, hoping the simple touch would be encouragement enough to get him moving.

  It was.

  He entered the closet and turned to the left-hand side. It appeared that the left-hand side and the back was hers. He had roughly three-quarters of the right. This was going to be more of a task then I’d anticipated, but we had all day. Luckily, he’d taken my advice and started early.

  An hour or so into the closet purge, we’d already packed up five boxes. He’d told me that if I wanted anything to simply help myself. There were many pieces that I took a liking to, but instead of stopping him and yanking the pieces from the boxes, interrupting his flow, I simply took note of what was in each box and would go through them later, gathering up what I liked. I kept my mental keep list short since I had a feeling that me running around the house wearing his deceased wife’s clothing would be too hard for him.

  Once the clothing was all packed, we started with the shoes. Good God, she had a lot of shoes. More shoes then I’ve owned in my lifetime got packed away in boxes. The nearest charity would be having a very good day in their donation box when we were done. I took pause for a moment, watching Calvin dump shoes into the box. I’d have to get Ryker to take me into the city to donate this stuff. Calvin didn’t need to go into town and see his wife’s belongings walking down main street.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Surprised to hear Calvin’s voice, I looked up and smiled. “Nothing. My mind went somewhere else, that’s all.”

  He didn’t ask anything else, proceeding on with the task at hand. We’d gotten about three-quarters of the way done, taking about three hours; the momentum he’d started with was starting to die out, before progress came to a grinding halt. He’d pulled a blue, plastic tote bin from the closet floor, opened the lid and was now staring down at the contents. His face quickly drained of color, as if he’d seen a ghost.

  Inching closer to him, I snuck a peek inside the tote, halfway scared of what I’d find. My brow furrowed as I looked down into the tote to see a pile of baby clothes. On the very top was a little blue baby sleeper with #1 Dad printed in white across the chest.

  Calvin’s hand trembled as he reached into the tote and pulled the sleeper from within. Looking up into Calvin’s face, I could see pain etched in his expression as he stared at the sleeper.

  I’d never heard of Calvin having a kid, or there being any babies. Granted, I had a lot to learn about my fiancé and his family. Looking a little closer at the sleeper, I noticed the tag was still hanging from the garment. It had never been worn.

  I wanted to ask him about the pile of baby clothing but didn’t dare.

  It seemed like an eternity passed as he stood in the closet in silence, though in actuality, it was more like five minutes — tops.

  Then suddenly, Calvin made a growl-like sound, tossed the sleeper back into the tote, placed the lid back onto the container and gave it a kick out of the closet. I squealed in surprise and jumped backwards out of the way. The container toppled and some of the contents spilled onto the floor.

  “God damn it!” He laced his fingers behind his neck and tilted his head backwards, taking a deep breath in and slowly releasing it.

  What in the hell was I supposed to say right now? I didn’t have enough information to be able to determine what the right thing to say would be.

  “I’m sorry. My mind isn’t straight right now,” he murmured as he looked down at me. “This whole process is just a little overwhelming for me.”

  “Of course.” I stepped towards him and placed a hand on his bare bicep. The massively defined muscle flexed under my touch. Looking up, my gaze caught his. His dark eyes were filled with pain. I couldn’t help it, I had to take a chance and find out where the pain was coming from. “Whose clothing was that?”

  He took a deep breath in and slowly exhaled. “The clothing was meant for our son, Justin. My wife miscarried at six months. Two months before she died. We found out about the cancer when she was taken to the hospital. It was a very dark time in my life and I haven’t fully recovered. I think that’s why I’m such an asshole much of the time.”

  Tears stung my eyes as I stared into his eyes, which were rimmed with his own tears. I took a step to him and wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him a hug, both to comfort him and to keep myself from letting the tears loose and make this moment more emotional and awkward than it already was. “I’m so sorry.”

  Holding onto him, I could smell the spicy scent of the body wash he’d just used that morning. It was nice, familiar. Close to the same smell that came off Ryker. The smell sparked a desire within me, which confused and alarmed me. Pulling back slightly, I looked up into his eyes. For a moment, the confusion that came from the recognizable scent overwhelmed me. I’m not sure how it happened — was it him or me — I just don’t know, but somehow our lips found each other. At first, the kiss was stiff, our lips meeting and pressing together, but it quickly morphed into something different.

  For an insane moment, the passion of the moment took over and I gave in, my lips parting and letting him in. His arms slipped around me and pulled me tight to him as his tongue indulged in my mouth. His tongue dominated mine, but as another bout of passion rushed through me, making my pussy clench, I regained my senses.

  Gathering up my willpower, my heart pounding wildly within my chest, I slipped my hands from his shoulders to flatten my palms against, giving him a gentle push backwards as I stepped away from him.

  “This can’t happen,” I gasped, running a hand through my hair and shaking my head. “This can’t happen,” I said a second time with less conviction, remembering Ryker’s request back in Moscow. He wanted to share me with his brother, but I’d refused. I wasn’t that type of girl. I’d never be that type of girl. I wanted to be a wife and mother to one man. Not two, not three, but one only.

  I couldn’t look into his eyes. I had to escape and get my head on straight over this. I’d shamed Ryker over asking me and I hadn’t even been in America for a week and I’d already cheated on him. What kind of person was I to do something like that? It didn’t matter that Ryker had suggested it. We’d come to the decision that that was off the table and that was final.

  “I gotta go. I’m sorry,” I whispered, spinning around and bolting from the closet and room. Calvin didn’t chase after me and I was grateful for that.

  ~*~ TT ~*~

  Calvin

  “Well, shit,” I groaned as I bowed my head and gave it a shake. What in the fuck was I doing? What was I thinking? She’d bolted out of the room so quickly I barely caught a glimpse of her long dark hair as she raced through the doorway. I did a slow spin, examining the closet, attempting to push Nina out of my mind.

  I was torn. Should I chase after her and attempt to make thing right, or just continue on with what I had to do and perhaps a little bit of time to think and consider what happened would make things clear.

  Or just forget it ever happened.

  I sighed. Forgetting it ever happened would be impossible. My dick was sporting a hard-on, from just one simple, quick kiss. Was I that hard up that I could get this aroused by a single kiss, a kiss from my brother’s fiancée to boot! Him offering to share her and me dealing with some emotional shit was no excuse for me kissing her. I’d have killed him if he’d pulled that crap with Allison. Okay, perhaps kill is a strong word, but I’d be far from happy and he’d be in for a whooping of a lifetime.

  Giving my head another shake, I decided that I’d put the problem on ice for a bit and get back to work on the closet. It was slowly killing me,
piece by piece. As the items were being put in boxes, it felt like I was giving up a piece of my heart. It was an insane way to think; these were simply possessions, nothing more. What mattered were the memories that I kept safely tucked away in my head.

  I don’t want you to be alone. I want you to have a family. You still have time… Those were some of the final words she’d said to me just before she died. Up to her dying breath I’d held on, hope pushing me through. I’d prayed for a miracle and I held tight to that hope. But a miracle never happened; my prayers had never been answered. She’d passed away, and even at her moment of death, the only thing on her mind was my future.

  Promise me, Calvin. Promise me you’ll move on and have the family we always wanted. I’d agreed, if for no other reason than to see the look of relief in her eyes knowing she’d gotten what she wanted.

  But I hadn’t lived up to that promise; I hadn’t even tried. I didn’t want to. She had no idea what she’d been asking of me. How could I just give her up?

  I had to. For her and for myself.

  Nina had helped me with the majority of it; I just had to power through the rest. The baby clothing had shaken me up for a moment. I’d forgotten that I had that packed away with Allison’s stuff. Grabbing a few more boxes from the bedroom, I began to pack them, almost frantically, keeping only a single box of mementos, the few family possessions that I knew Allison wouldn’t have wanted me to get rid of that I still had in my possession. Perhaps I should give them back to her family. I’d give it some thought — it wasn’t a priority at the moment — clearing out the closet and starting fresh was. If her parents or siblings had wanted what I had, they would have asked for it already.

  Roughly an hour after Nina bolted from my room, I was done, and my leg was throbbing like a son of a bitch. I’d been putting weight on my leg for way too long. Standing in the closet doorway, I surveyed the closet, ignoring the pain for another minute. It looked empty. I hadn’t realized until now just how much of Allison I had in my room. If I went about the house, I was sure I’d find many more of her things. Ryker had removed many items, but some of Allison’s stuff still remained, like the lamps she’d purchased for the living room that matched nothing and Ryker and I hated, but still they sat, one on either end of the sofa.

  A jolt of pain shot down my leg, reminding me of my injury. I needed meds, immediately. Hobbling back into the bedroom, I went to the nightside table, opened the pill bottle and shook a couple pills out into my palm. Popping them into my mouth, I chased the white tablets down with some water.

  Putting the glass of water back down on the stand, I flopped onto the bed, both emotionally and physically drained. A nap would make things better, or at least it couldn’t make things worse.

  Chapter 20

  Nina

  What in the hell had I been thinking? I’d let the intimacy of the situation with Calvin overrule my better judgment. I didn’t even like Calvin; he’d been a complete jerk to me from the moment I arrived here. So why the hell I’d let him kiss me was beyond me. Or did I kiss him? Or was it him that kissed me? Did it matter who initiated it? It happened, period.

  Though to say I didn’t like him was a lie and I knew it. Calvin was a hurt and broken man. His hard exterior was just to keep out any more pain. But I was hardly up for a project, especially when I was engaged to his brother.

  So now what? I didn’t know. I’d have to tell Ryker, I couldn’t marry him with this being a secret between us. Walking over to the bed, I fell back onto it. The bed was so wonderfully soft, I seemed to sink in, like I was laying on a cloud. If it wasn’t for all the thoughts racing through my head, I could have easily fallen to sleep.

  After a period of staring blankly up at the white, painted ceiling, I reached for my phone on the nightside table. Scrolling through the names, I quickly found Ryker’s and my finger hovered over the call button. But I couldn’t press it.

  I was a coward. What if he became enraged and sent me back to Russia without even discussing it? Frustrated with myself, I tossed the phone onto the bed next to me. Ryker wasn’t like that. He was reasonable.

  Maybe even worse than the thought of him being angry was the thought that perhaps the kiss I shared with Calvin would give Ryker the impression that I was open to being shared between the brothers. As much as I was offended that he’d have the nerve to even suggest it back home, the thought of being between two beautiful men sent a shiver of desire through me, creating a throbbing between my legs. I was both ashamed and aroused.

  With a groan of frustration, I sat back up. There was no way in hell I would be able to nap, not with all the anxiety within me. One thing I could do was clean. I’d found out the other day the secret of the brothers keeping such a clean house: they had a maid come in three days a week, with the weekends off. Surely with four days of no cleaning, there would be something I could do.

  Grabbing my phone, I stuffed it into the back pocket of my jeans and was about to make my way downstairs when I thought twice of it. I had to talk to Calvin. I needed to know what his thoughts were on the kiss. Maybe he felt the kiss just confirmed what he was thinking all along — I was here for a green card and nothing more. I needed to set the record straight, for myself as much as for him and Ryker.

  Hustling down the hallway, I stopped at Calvin’s door and brought my fist up to knock, then hesitated. It took a moment to gather the nerve, but I forced myself to knock three times. There was a groaning noise followed by a muffled, “Come in.”

  Twisting the knob, I opened the door and entered. Calvin was lying on the bed, staring at me with glazed over eyes.

  “We need to talk.”

  He sighed, not making an attempt to sit up on the bed. “About?”

  How could he not know what about? “About what happened in the closet. We should discuss it.”

  Frowning, Calvin asked, “What happened in the closet?”

  “The kiss.” Walking into the room, my eyes narrowed as I stared at him. My gaze shifted to the nightstand, where I noticed an open bottle of his prescription medication. It all became clear. He’d taken some of his pain meds and was already part of the way to oblivion. I wasn’t going to get much of a conversation out of him; that was blatantly apparent.

  “We’ll talk later.” When my gaze shifted back to Calvin, I discovered that his eyes had closed and he began to snore softly.

  “Damn.” I’d deal with it later. One thing I hadn’t done was take a solitary walk around the ground. Maybe I’d go see the chickens and do some exploration, anything to get my mind off what had happened between me and Calvin.

  ~*~ TT ~*~

  Calvin

  Damn, those pills had a way of knocking me on my ass. Turning to my side, I grabbed my mobile phone from the table next to the bed and brought it to my eyes. As I began to focus my eyes on the time displayed, my stomach began to grumble. No wonder, considering to my shock that it was 6pm. I’d slept most of the day away!

  Placing the phone back on the table, I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed. There was a slight pain in my leg, but it was bearable. I didn’t need more meds yet. Perhaps I could slug it out until it was time to sleep.

  I was just getting out of bed when I heard a commotion from outside. A woman screaming — Nina. Grabbing my crutches, I hurried across the bedroom and to the window. Parting the sheer beige curtain, I peered out and immediately began laughing.

  Outside was Nina being chased around the backyard by a couple of roosters. She’d squeal each time one charged and attempted to peck at her boot-clad feet; boots that were way to big for her dainty feet — she must have borrowed a pair of Ryker’s. I wasn’t sure what was making me laugh harder: her running around the yard chased by roosters or stumbling over her own feet in those boots. Lucky for her the boots were too heavy for the roosters to hurt her toes. No doubt the squeals were more from fright than actual pain.

  I watched her for a moment, laughing so hard that my stomach began to pain me, before deciding
to open the window and shout some instructions to her. I gave myself another moment to watch in amusement.

  “Run into the house, Nina. They won’t follow.”

  It took her a moment to notice me in the window. “I can’t,” she yelled back. “They keep blocking my path and cornering me. Help!”

  Sure enough, they had cornered her. Her back was against the henhouse and each time she tried to make a run for it, one of the roosters would block her path. She was indeed trapped.

  “They can’t hurt you. Give them a little kick with your boot.”

  “I don’t want to hurt them.” As she yelled, the larger of the two lunged at her and pecked at the toe of her boot again. She yelped.

  Wiping a tear from my eye, I said. “You won’t hurt them. Roosters are tough little bastards and know when it’s time to get away.”

  She looked as though she were deciding on whether she could follow through with my instructions, but when the second rooster came forward, intent on pecking her, she lashed out. Her foot didn’t make contact with the bird, which was too fast for her, but it did jump backwards, giving her the opening she needed to make a run for it.

  If I’d found her being cornered by roosters amusing, watching her try to flee in oversized boots, stumbling and squealing as she made her getaway with two large birds in hot pursuit, was downright hilarious. Grasping my stomach with one hand, I doubled over, roaring in laughter. If I didn’t get control of the laughter soon I’d piss my pants.

  I was just getting hold of myself when the front door opened and slammed shut downstairs. Grabbing my crutches, I made my way down the hallway and began making my way down the stairs.

  “What kind of crazy birds do you have here? Any other animals I need to steer clear of?” she demanded as I crossed the threshold and entered the kitchen.

  “You might want to stay out of the cow pasture. We’ve got a few nasty bulls. Ryker should have warned you about the bulls.”