Not Broken-The Happily Ever After

by Meka James

  Malcolm’s laughter was exactly what I needed to hear. Having his voice be the last thing I heard before going to sleep would keep the bad away.

  Chapter 48

  Calida

  “What are we shopping for?” Macy asked as she climbed into my SUV.

  I’d called her up yesterday, asking if she felt up to a mall outing. Once she got over the shock of me willingly wanting to go to the mall, she agreed.

  “Nothing in particular. I just thought you’d like to get out.”

  I kept my eyes on the road, but I could feel her staring at me.

  “Uh-huh, right. This is about me? Man, you’re a terrible liar.”

  “Am not. I’m an excellent liar. No wait, scratch that. Who strives to be an excellent liar?”

  She laughed. “Con men, maybe.”

  When I’d gotten dressed yesterday morning, I’d paid attention to the lack of sexy underwear I owned. Everything was black, white, or nude. No prints, no lace, just plain cotton. I never cared about it before, but after the phone sex, I wanted some pretty things.

  For years I’d listened to Malcolm talk about women’s lingerie, like Macy he wasn’t shy about sharing his sexual escapades. He probably was one of the few men that would stop and take time to look at what his partner wore instead of just ripping it off and getting down to business.

  “So, what’s this shopping trip really about?”

  I glanced in the rearview mirror when Shawn and London’s babbling caught my attention. I gave a quick look at Macy, who had turned in her seat so she faced me.

  “I need, well, want some lingerie.”

  My answer hung in the air. I knew Macy rather not associate me and her brother with anything sexual, but she already knew we’d been together, so I figured that ship had sailed.

  “I think my morning sickness returned with that statement.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Oh, come on, Mace, it’s not that bad. Besides, I’m combining two things you love, the mall and using me as a dress up doll.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her shaking her head.

  “Nope, doesn’t make it better. There’s only one reason to want lingerie, and it’s with my brother.”

  “It’s not like I’m giving you blow-by-blow details.”

  She crossed her arms like a defiant child. “Fine. But we’re going to Phipps.”

  I sighed. She would pick the most expensive mall in the city.

  It took Macy about an hour to pick out four different sexy outfits for me, along with six new underwear sets. She’d been in her element, working with the sales associate to pick out the items. Other than asking me color and sizes, my input had been minimal. Convincing her and the sales rep that I didn’t need to try on the items took effort, but I’d won the battle.

  I thought I’d have a heart attack at the total; I’d never spent so much on underwear in my life. My idea of going fancy was buying from Victoria’s Secret. The place she took me to made VS look like bargain shopping in comparison. I shouldn’t have been surprised; Macy had a knack for spending other people’s money. It’s what had made her an excellent stylist and personal shopper.

  When I got home, my parents car and a small U-Haul were parked in the driveway. Today was moving day for Dorian. I’d been wrong in my assumption she’d use movers.

  “Hey, baby girl.”

  I turned to see Dad standing near the garage door. He walked over to give me a hug.

  “Hey, Daddy. If I’d known you guys were gonna be here, I wouldn’t have gone out.”

  He opened the door to retrieve an excited Shawn. “I told your sister it didn’t make sense to pay movers. She doesn’t have that much stuff, nothing heavy. We’re nearly done here and she arranged for the portable storage company to drop off in about two hours at her place.”

  I nodded, wondering why Dorian didn’t mention anything to me about her plans. She and Mom walked out with boxes.

  “Hey, sweetie.”

  I greeted her with a hug. “Looks like I missed all the work. Lucky me.”

  She laughed. “Well, we have to unload, so you can still do your share.”

  “Yes, Calida and there’s lots more to unload with the rest of my wardrobe and things on the way,” Dorian added.

  “Oh, yay, just what I wanted. Why do I have to help you move? Didn’t I do enough letting you stay rent free?”

  “Think of it as helping Mom and Dad,” she replied with a smile. “Plus, the quicker we get this done, the quicker you get your house back.”

  I shook my head, regretting my decision on not staying with Macy longer. Both she and London looked like they needed a nap after our trip to the mall, so I brought Shawn home for his. Only now that my parents were here, I didn’t see him going to sleep anytime soon, and I’d been roped into helping Dorian move. On the upside, I would have my house back to myself. I glanced up at the large structure and realized that thought didn’t make me as happy as I’d expected.

  Four hours later, I sat in Shawn’s room playing with him. Between the four of us, we got Dorian’s boxes out of the U-Haul and portable storage in pretty decent time. She treated us all to an early dinner as a thank you. Her townhouse was nice. Three stories, in a gated community and a perfect location in town. It suited her well.

  It was strange to miss having her around already. Even as I sat playing with Shawn, stacking blocks only to have him giggle when he knocked them down, the uneasy feeling began to coil around me. Prickling sensations ran through my body as my heart rate picked up speed. Being here, alone, the house felt both too big, yet confining at the same time.

  I didn’t want to stay, and I knew I didn’t have to.

  Chapter 49

  Malcolm

  I pulled into my driveway and hit the button for the garage. At first, I was confused when I saw tires, but a smile spread across my face when I realized whose car was parked there. I’d been bummed when Ginger declined to have dinner with me tonight. I’d planned on calling her to see if she wanted to hang out later, but here she was. I parked, grabbed my takeout from the front seat, and headed into the house.

  Laughter greeted me when I walked in. Ginger ran around acting like a monster or something, chasing Shawn. She stopped when she saw me.

  “Hey.”

  “Hey yourself.”

  Shawn ran over, raising his arms so I could pick him up.

  “I called first this time but—”

  “I left my phone,” I finished for her as I walked over to give her a quick kiss.

  “Yeah, I heard it buzz when I texted you after I got here.” She reached up to take Shawn from me. “Come here, you. Let Malcolm eat.”

  My gaze dropped to watch her ass as she walked away. “Dorian’s gone now. Happy about that?”

  She shrugged. “I suppose. Her new place is nice.”

  Shawn walked back over to me as I took a seat at the island. I bent down to pick him up, gave him a fry. “You ‘suppose?’ Thought you’d be popping champagne bottles to celebrate.”

  She started picking up some of the toys laying around. “Yeah, I thought so too, but the house felt empty. Crazy, right?”

  “More,” Shawn said, leaning forward trying to get another fry.

  “I promise I fed him.”

  I gave him two this time. “No problem. Growing boy needs to eat. Have you been upstairs?”

  She shook her head. “No, why?”

  “I put together his crib and even decorated it.”

  Shawn wiggled to get down so he could follow behind his mother when she left the room. I got up to follow her up the stairs.

  “Looks good, doesn’t it?” I was quite proud of the Carolina Panthers bedding I’d managed to find. “I ordered a Fathead for the wall, should be here next week. Along with a few other things to complete the theme.”

  “A what?”

  “A Fathead. A large, life-like decal. It’s awesome.”

  She laughed.
I put Shawn down, and he walked over to the crib, attempting to climb up the bars.

  “Looks like he likes it.”

  “I guess so. You’re trying to make him into a Panthers fan?”

  “Hell, yeah. Need someone to be on my side. You don’t care and Mitch is all about the Falcons.”

  “It looks good, Mal, and thank you for getting it set up.”

  “No thanks needed. I had fun doing it. Is this just a visit or are you staying the night?”

  Ginger walked over to pick up Shawn. “Staying the night, if that’s okay. It’s weird, I didn’t want Dorian to stay with me, but the house felt oddly empty with her gone.”

  “I’m more than happy to keep you company.”

  I didn’t want to read too much into her statement. Maybe she was starting to see that house for the haven of bad memories that it was, but I wouldn’t push. She was coming around on her own, which made it all that much more rewarding.

  After I finished eating, I gathered their bags from her car while she picked out a movie for us to watch. Like last time, Shawn had fallen asleep before the end of it. I offered to put him down for her.

  When I entered my room, Ginger was bent over her bag, digging through it, in only her beige bra and panties. My gaze was drawn to the scar on her back. I’d seen it. I’d felt it when we’d made love. I knew it was there, but that didn’t stop the renewed rage that crept up. It was bad enough that asshole left her with deep emotional scars, but he had to add physical too.

  I walked over and ran my fingers down the length of it.

  She jumped at the contact and looked back at me. “What are you doing?”

  “Nothing.” I continued running my fingers down her back. The skin was smooth over the scar. Still, there were parts that were bumpy, as if the tissue had not healed correctly, causing a small lump.

  She stood, holding a shirt to her chest. Her body tensed, as if my touching the scar pained her. My gaze traveled to that large ass tattoo on her shoulder. It might have actually been pretty, if not for his initials. I started to trace it with my finger. Ginger turned to face me, working to put her shirt on as she did.

  She kept her head down. “It was an impulse decision.”

  “Yours or his?”

  Her head snapped up to look at me, deer in headlight expression on her face.

  “There’s no way I’m going to believe you went out and got a tattoo after Shawn was born.”

  Ginger started chewing on her thumbnail. She opened her mouth to speak but stopped, then turned away from me, and pulled on a pair of shorts.

  “I should have gotten it lasered off or something, but—”

  “But you named Shawn using the same initials, instead.”

  She nodded as she turned back around. “Like you said, I wouldn’t have gone to get one, nor was I going to go see someone to take it off for the same reasons.”

  “The scar?”

  She nodded again. “Among other reasons.”

  I stepped closer and pulled her into an embrace. I rested my hands at the top of her waistband and slid my thumb under her shirt to stroke the small of her back. She didn’t relax into me; instead, her body remained rigid like when I’d touched her moments ago.

  I debated on if I wanted to ask the question that’d been on my mind since I first saw it. People got tattoos for their significant others all the time. They were in love and wanted to display that love for all to see. So what she’d done wasn’t completely crazy, but at the same time it seemed out of character for Ginger.

  “Can I ask why you got it?”

  She placed her hands on my chest and rested her forehead against me. She took slow, controlled breaths. I slid my other hand up her back, under her hair, coming to rest on the back of her neck. I gently massaged while I waited for her to deal with whatever she was wrestling with. Her hesitance made me think her answer had a whole lotta nothing to do with love.

  I cupped her face and gave her a kiss on her forehead. “It’s okay, baby, you don’t have to answer.”

  I let her go and headed over to my dresser for a pair of shorts. I pulled my shirt off and dropped it on the floor, followed by my pants. After putting the shorts on, I turned to catch Ginger still standing where I’d left her, with arms wrapped around herself, staring off into space.

  I walked over to the wall. “Lights out.”

  She looked over at me, almost dazed before nodding and climbing under the covers. I watched as she turned onto her side, facing the wall, which meant her back would be to me when I joined her. I thought about curling up behind her but thought better of it. This seemed to be one of those times she wanted space, so that’s what she’d get. I flipped onto my side, staring at the opposite wall.

  After a few moments, Ginger pressed her body against me. Her arm snaked its way under mine and across my waist. She kissed my back and pulled her body closer.

  “I don’t know why I reacted like that,” she whispered.

  “It’s fine.”

  “Doesn’t feel fine. Feels like you’re mad.”

  “I’m not.”

  She pulled away. I could tell she was moving around behind me. A tug on my arm pulled me to my back, and then she scrambled to climb on top of me.

  “What the hell?”

  Ginger grabbed my arms and placed them on her back. Her bare back. She slid her arms under mine, pressing her trembling body against my chest.

  “Are you cold?”

  She shook her head. I wrapped her tighter in my arms.

  “I lied,” she whispered.

  “About?”

  “Not knowing why I reacted that way. I know exactly why.”

  The tremor in her voice confirmed my earlier suspicions; it was another bad memory because of that sadistic asshole.

  “It doesn’t matter. Everyone has limits. No one is a complete open book.”

  “So, you’re keeping things from me?”

  I ran my fingers up and down her back, keeping to the sides and away from her scar, not wanting to make her uncomfortable about it again.

  “No, Ginger, I can’t think of anything I’ve not shared or wouldn’t share with you.”

  “So, it’s okay for you to be an open book but not me?” The accusation went unmasked in her tone.

  I remained quiet, unsure of how I was the bad guy again. But I was. A real damned if I do, damned if I don’t situation.

  “That’s not what I’m saying. If you want to share, then I’m more than happy to hear what you have to say. But it has to be because you want to. Not because you think I’m mad, which I’m not, or because you feel you’ve been pushed into some sort of corner. I’m not gonna try and Jedi mind trick you into anything. If it’s a topic you don’t want to discuss, I respect that. Say you don’t want to talk about it. But don’t lie to me.”

  She nodded. “Okay.”

  Ginger’s head rested against my chest. The weight of her body against mine, was comfortable. I closed my eyes and listened to her steady breathing.

  She shifted, moving off me to curl up beside me. I wrapped my arm around, her keeping her close. I ran my fingers up and down her arm as I drifted off to sleep.

  Chapter 50

  Calida

  “You’re looking different today,” Dr. Carr commented, directing me to the chair.

  My hand went up to my shaggy hair. “Yeah, the growing out phase sucks.”

  Dr. Carr gave a smile. “I wasn’t referring to your appearance. I was talking about your demeanor.”

  “Oh.”

  “So you recognize the change?”

  I shrugged. “Yeah, I suppose. I haven’t felt as bogged down lately.”

  “Happy to hear that. Anything major happen to help this new outlook?”

  I shook my head as I spun the ring around my finger. “No, nothing major. I’m opening up more. It’s still not the easiest thing, but Mal won’t let me...no, he doesn’t make me do things. He just asks
that I not hide from him.”

  “Hide from him?”

  “Yes.” I stopped and tried to figure out the best way to explain. “I’ve opened up to him about some topics, and I’m trying. I rather keep things to myself when I’m uncomfortable. Retreat away and not deal. But he understands I don’t always want to talk about things.”

  Dr. Carr nodded her head in agreement or understanding.

  “You corrected yourself when explaining that Malcolm doesn't make you do things. That’s a change from how you viewed his actions before.”

  “I’ve done some self-reflecting. My time here isn’t a total waste. Eventually what you say gets through.”

  Dr. Carr laughed. “Always good to know I’m not wasting my patient’s time or money.”

  I smiled. “I know I’ve not been the easiest. I’ve spent a lot of time in this place. Much of it with me actively finding ways to remain guarded.” My face warmed with the admission. I’d never believed I was fooling Dr. Carr, but admitting it was a whole other matter.

  “You’ve been exactly what you needed to be at the time. Therapy is a marathon, not a sprint. You have to work at your pace otherwise it’s pointless.”

  “Maybe. Anyway, when I came here upset, feeling like Malcolm ambushed me into the relationship, you told me I allowed the choice to be made by not speaking up. Big surprise I didn’t see it that way. But...you were right. Malcolm isn’t Seth, but to protect myself or whatever I viewed him through Seth-colored glasses. Because of that, everything Malcolm did wrong—no matter how small—I magnified ten-fold.”

  Dr. Carr sat back in her chair and crossed her legs at the ankle. “That is quite a bit of self-reflection.”

  “Bet you thought I was a lost cause, huh?” I joked and reached over for the bottle of water on the table.

  “No one’s a lost cause, Calida.”

  “Right, well I’ve taken off those glasses, and the view is much different when I’m not looking for the bad.” I paused. Reaching back, I touched the scar through my shirt. “Even with that breakthrough or whatever, I still find myself guarded with him.”