Pupcakes

by Annie England Noblin

  Brydie winced. That’s what everybody said when they found out that she and Allan had gotten divorced. She’d be a rich woman if she had a dollar for every time someone mentioned “how lucky” it was that she and Allan hadn’t had any children. They said it made the split easier. They said it was a clean break. But nothing about the divorce felt easy or clean. She’d lost her husband. Her husband. She’d lost not only the life she was living, but her future life as well. Maybe she hadn’t had children with Allan, but now she never would. Brydie mourned that life, too—the life that would never be. “Yeah, I guess.”

  “He’s a jerk, Brydie,” Elliott continued. “I’d call him worse, but I don’t want the baby to hear me swearing.”

  Brydie leaned down to Elliott’s belly and whispered, “Shit.”

  “Brydie!”

  Brydie giggled. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t help it.”

  “You’ll be a great mother someday,” Elliott said. “Don’t let this thing with Allan spoil it for you.

  “Thanks,” Brydie replied. “I don’t know, though. I’m thirty-four. Maybe it’s time to have more realistic dreams.”

  “That’s not old,” Elliott protested. “I mean, you’re older than you were a decade ago, obviously, but women older than you have babies all the time. Don’t give up.”

  Brydie squinted down at the recipe in an effort to keep from looking over at her friend. Having a baby was a dream she’d shared with Allan. It felt too burdensome to carry all on her own. “I’ll try not to,” she said.

  “It’s not easy,” Elliott said, “to want a child and not be able to have one. I understand.”

  Brydie nodded, feeling a lump in her throat begin to rise. Elliott did know what that was like. She’d had a miscarriage in between Mia and the baby she was now carrying, and it had been awful. They’d already announced the pregnancy to everyone. They’d posted a cute ultrasound picture on social media with Mia holding a sign about becoming a big sister. A couple of weeks later, Brydie had gotten a phone call from Elliott’s mother about something “going wrong” with the pregnancy. She’d dropped everything at the bakery and driven as fast as she could to Memphis, but by the time she got there, it was already over. The procedure, as Elliott referred to it, was over. Her baby was gone. No, not gone, dead. Her baby was dead, and she’d told Brydie that she didn’t think she and Leo could handle something like that happening again. She didn’t know if they’d have more children. It was just too hard.

  But two years later Elliott was pregnant again with a healthy baby boy, a Rainbow Baby, Elliott called him. Brydie had to look it up online to find out exactly what she meant. She’d learned that a Rainbow Baby is a baby that is born following a miscarriage, stillbirth, or another kind of loss of an infant. The website she’d visited compared the baby to a beautiful and bright rainbow that follows a storm and gives hope of things getting better, that the rainbow is more appreciated when one has just experienced the storm in comparison.

  “So are you excited about the Halloween party tonight?” Elliott asked, slicing through the thoughtful silence that had settled between them.

  “I am,” Brydie replied, thankful for the subject change. “I found the cutest lion costume for Teddy. It’s hilarious.”

  True to her word, Rosa had shown Brydie the Halloween costumes after their shift. There were so many that Brydie felt overwhelmed. She smiled to herself thinking about Teddy being a chubby lobster or bumblebee or hot dog. But when she saw the lion costume, she knew that it was the one for her dog. My dog, she thought. She’d never thought of Teddy that way before. She guessed, for now, he was her dog.

  “So what are you going to be?” Elliott asked.

  “I thought I’d be a lion tamer,” Brydie said. “But I’m having trouble coming up with the costume.”

  “What do you need?” Elliott asked. “Surely we can put it together before you have to leave.”

  Brydie slid the pan of dog treats into the oven and motioned for her friend to follow her to the master bedroom. “Let me show you what I’ve got so far.”

  “They didn’t have a costume at ShopCo?”

  “No,” Brydie said. “I thought I might find one that I could alter, but they were all so skimpy.”

  “I know!” Elliott exclaimed. “It’s like every costume for women is a sexy nurse or a sexy firefighter or a sexy skunk. I mean, how can anybody be a sexy skunk?”

  Brydie giggled. “I wouldn’t mind being sexy, but I’m not going to wrap myself up in a piece of plastic the size of a Band-Aid to do it.”

  Elliott surveyed the items Brydie had laid out on the bed. “Okay, so you’ve got a black tube dress, fishnets, and black boots.”

  “The tube dress is pretty short,” Brydie said. “That’s why I bought the fishnets. But I’m missing the jacket and a whip.”

  “Oh, I’ve got a whip at the house,” Elliott replied.

  “You do?”

  “Yes.” Elliott’s cheeks were pink. “It’s not like that, if that’s what you’re thinking. Leo got it at the Indiana Jones ride at Disney World last year. I’m sure he won’t mind if you borrow it.”

  “What about a jacket?” Brydie asked. “Without the jacket, I’m just going to look like a dominatrix.”

  “You wouldn’t want to give the old people a heart attack,” Elliott agreed. “But at least you’d have a sexy doctor there to save some lives.”

  “I doubt he would like it if I showed up looking like a hooker at his place of employment,” Brydie replied.

  “Trust me, all men like that.”

  “Allan wouldn’t have liked it.”

  “Dr. Reid isn’t Allan,” Elliott reminded her. “Besides, Allan wouldn’t have wanted you to dress provocatively because he’d be afraid everybody else would see how gorgeous you are.”

  Brydie rolled her eyes, but secretly she was touched. “Well, thanks. But I’d still like to find a jacket.”

  “Have you searched through Mrs. Neumann’s closets?”

  “No,” Brydie replied. “I was hoping you might have something.”

  Elliott was already opening the closet doors. “Surely she’s got something.”

  “I don’t feel right about going through her things,” Brydie protested.

  “There’s not a lot in here,” Elliott said, her voice muffled through the closet doors. “She must have taken most of it with her.”

  “Maybe I’ve got something that will work,” Brydie said, even though she knew she didn’t. “Just get out of her closet.”

  Elliott ignored her. “Come over here and help me,” she said. “You’re taller than me, and I can’t reach the top shelf.”

  “She’ll notice if I wear something of hers,” Brydie replied. She went over to the closet and stepped inside.

  “She’s like ninety years old,” Elliott said. “She’s lucky to know her own name.”

  “Elliott!”

  “What?”

  Brydie stood on her tiptoes and reached for the clothing that was folded neatly on the top shelf. As she felt along the shelf, her fingers grazed something cold and hard. Curious, Brydie pulled it from the shelf to get a better look. It was a key. Her heart skipped a beat. Could this be the key for the door in the hallway? she asked herself.

  “I found something!” Elliott hollered from one end of the closet. “I must have missed it the first time.”

  Brydie shoved the key into the pocket of her jeans. “Let me see.”

  Triumphant, Elliott held up a red knit jacket. “It’s perfect!”

  “I don’t know.” Brydie eyed the jacket skeptically. “It looks kind of small.”

  “Try it on.”

  Brydie took the jacket from Elliott and pulled it on over her T-shirt. “It’s too small,” she said. “It won’t button over my boobs.”

  “So?” Elliott asked. “You don’t need to button it over your boobs.”

  “It won’t work.”

  “Of course it will!” Elliott stood in front of Brydie. “The buttons
are even gold! I have a couple of gold tassels from Mia’s dance recital that we can sew on. I’ll grab them when I go get the whip.”

  “I don’t know.”

  Elliott crossed her arms over her chest and said, “Do you want to go to this party?”

  Brydie nodded.

  “Then stop looking for excuses,” Elliott said, “and let me fix this jacket for you.”

  “Fine.”

  “Good,” Elliott said, helping Brydie out of the jacket. “You stay here and get Teddy ready. I’ll be back in a jiff.”

  A FEW HOURS later, Brydie sat in the parking lot at the Germantown Retirement Center, readying herself to go inside. Although Elliott had basically kicked her out the door, telling her that she looked perfect, Brydie felt ridiculous. She hadn’t dressed up for Halloween in years, unless she counted wearing a witch’s hat to hand out candy to kids in her neighborhood in Jonesboro.

  Teddy Roosevelt, however, looked fantastic. When Elliott saw him, she’d laughed until she cried, and surprisingly, Teddy seemed to love being dressed up, minus the lion mane. He’d tried chewing it off several times as they drove to the party.

  All around them, people streamed in. There were whole families dressed up, people with dogs, and so many doctors and nurses that Brydie couldn’t tell which were the real nurses and doctors and which ones were dressed up for Halloween. There were many “sexy nurses,” and Brydie wished Elliott were with her to see it. Actually, she wished Elliott were with her so that she wouldn’t have to go inside alone.

  In the seat next to her, Teddy chewed on his mane. Brydie guessed she wasn’t entirely alone. “Okay, pup,” she said, grabbing the plastic tub full of dog treats she’d made. “Let’s do this.”

  Inside, the nursing home was decorated for Halloween, complete with cobwebs at the entryway that got stuck in Brydie’s hair. She set Teddy down on the tiled floor and wrapped his leash around her hand. She looked around for Mrs. Neumann or Nathan, but she didn’t see anybody she knew. Thinking that maybe the older woman was back in her room, she maneuvered Teddy through the throng of people and into the hallway.

  Mrs. Neumann wasn’t in her room. Brydie turned around and led Teddy back out. Now the hallway was beginning to fill up with orderlies and family members helping the nursing home residents out into the large cafeteria, where she heard someone say most everybody had gathered. Brydie picked Teddy up and followed them.

  “Oh my goodness!” one woman said to Brydie as they walked. “Your costume is just the cutest. And look at your dog!”

  “Thanks,” Brydie replied, starting to relax for the first time since she’d arrived.

  “Is he a pug? I had a pug when I was a little girl. He was the best dog.”

  “Yes,” Brydie replied. “His name is Teddy.”

  The woman reached out and gave Teddy’s mane-covered head a pat. “He’s so sweet!”

  Brydie felt a swell of pride that she hadn’t anticipated. “He’s a good boy,” she said.

  As they entered the cafeteria and the crowd thinned out, Brydie saw Mrs. Neumann sitting in a wheelchair at a table surrounded by other people Brydie guessed lived there as well. When Teddy saw her, he began to whine, and Brydie set him down on the floor so he could go to her.

  “Brydie!” Pauline said, clapping her hands together. “You came!”

  “I thought you might like to see Teddy,” Brydie replied.

  “I’m happy to see you both,” Pauline said. “Everyone, this is Brydie. She’s looking after Teddy.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, honey,” said a bespectacled woman with a shock of short white hair.

  “Is that the dog you’re always going on about?” said a man sitting next to Pauline. His eyebrows, Brydie noticed, looked like two fuzzy caterpillars stuck together at his forehead. “He’s got to be the ugliest dog I’ve ever seen.”

  “Oh, hush up, George,” the woman with the white hair said, rapping his arm with her cane. “Don’t talk to us about ugly until you’ve looked in the mirror.”

  Brydie stifled a giggle.

  “Has Dr. Sexy found you yet?” Pauline asked Brydie. “He was looking for you earlier.”

  “No,” Brydie said. She felt those familiar flutters in her stomach. “I haven’t seen him.”

  “Hey,” said the man with the eyebrows. “You’re young and on your first legs. How about you go get us some punch?” He pointed to the table filled with food on the other side of the cafeteria.

  “George!” the white haired lady gasped. “Where are your manners tonight?”

  “It’s okay,” Brydie said. She handed Pauline Teddy’s leash and set the plastic tub full of cookies on the table. “Would anybody else like some?”

  “I would,” Pauline replied. “And if there are any oatmeal raisin cookies, I’ll take one of those, too.”

  Brydie nodded and headed off toward the refreshments. All around her people were laughing and having a good time. There was an area where people were playing bingo, a fortune-teller in one corner, games for children to play, and tables of food and drinks spanning almost the length of the entire cafeteria. Brydie wasn’t sure what kind of punch George and Pauline wanted, but she grabbed the handle of the first ladle she came to and filled two cups.

  “Are you having a good time?” said a voice behind her.

  Brydie turned around to see Dr. Nathan Reid standing there, a white mask covering half of his face. “I don’t know,” she said with a grin. “It depends on who’s asking me.”

  Nathan took off his mask. “Can I help you with those?”

  “Sure,” Brydie replied. She handed him the cups full of punch and led him back over to the table where the older people were sitting.

  “Who ordered punch?” Nathan asked once they were at the table.

  “I did,” Pauline said. “Thank you, Doctor.”

  “Look there, ladies,” George said, motioning to Brydie and Nathan. “Looks like y’all have some competition when it comes to the young doctor,” he paused, clearing his throat, “Sexy.”

  “I’m guessing this second cup is yours, George,” Nathan replied.

  “You guessed right,” George said, grabbing the cup from Nathan and sloshing half of the contents onto the table.

  “Watch it, George!” one of the women sitting beside him said. “For heaven’s sake!”

  George ignored the woman. “Aren’t you supposed to be working, Dr. Reid? Not gallivanting around with scantily clad young women?”

  Brydie looked down at herself. She wasn’t scantily clad. Almost every inch of her was covered.

  “Nobody is working tonight, George,” Nathan replied. “We’re having a party.”

  “What if I have a heart attack?” George countered. “What if I have a heart attack right here at this table?”

  “We’d all be eternally grateful,” the woman beside him muttered.

  “I’m serious!”

  “George, if you have a heart attack, I’ll not let the party distract me from saving your life,” Nathan said. “You have my word.”

  George made a quiet harrumph under his breath but didn’t say anything else.

  “Oh, Mrs. Neumann,” Brydie said suddenly, “I forgot your oatmeal raisin cookie. Let me go get it for you.”

  “It’s fine, my dear,” Pauline replied. “I’ll just eat one of the cookies you brought. George says they’re quite good. He ate one while you were getting us punch.”

  Brydie clapped a hand over her mouth. After a few seconds, she mustered up the courage to say, “Those aren’t cookies for people.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” George asked, his bushy eyebrows drawing even closer together. “Who else eats cookies?”

  “They’re dog cookies,” Brydie replied, her voice barely above a whisper. “I . . . I made them for Sasha.”

  “Who’s Sasha?”

  “Dr. Reid’s dog.”

  There was a collective gasp by everyone at the table, followed by laughter. Pauline was laughing so hard she ha
d tears streaming down her face. George stood up, his face more than one shade of green, and hobbled off without saying another word.

  “I feel so bad,” Brydie said after the laughter had subsided. “I should have told you all that those were dog cookies.”

  “Don’t feel bad,” said the woman with the short white hair. “He’s a crotchety old man. He deserved it.”

  “Well, Teddy sure does seem to love these cookies,” Pauline said. She had both Teddy and the plastic bin full of the treats on her lap. “He’s eaten at least six.”

  “It’s the banana,” Brydie said, her voice tinged with pride. “I tried a few different recipes, but this was the one he liked the best.”

  “Sasha likes banana, too,” Nathan said.

  “Where is she?” Brydie asked, realizing she hadn’t seen Sasha all night. “I thought she was going to be here.”

  “She sprained a paw at agility class,” Nathan replied. “She’s been ordered to stay off it for a couple of weeks, which means she has to stay in her crate most of the time. I was afraid bringing her here tonight would be too exciting and might make the injury worse.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “But you made her cookies?” Nathan asked. “Now I really feel bad for not letting her come tonight.”

  “Well, for her and any other dogs that came tonight,” Brydie replied. She could feel everyone at the table looking at them, at her, and her cheeks burned. “But it looks like Teddy may eat them all before they get a chance.”

  “Oh, look,” Pauline said, pointing to a line already forming at the other end of the cafeteria. “They’re starting the costume contest.”

  “You and Teddy better get over there,” Nathan said.

  “What about you?” Brydie asked.

  “Employees can’t participate,” Nathan replied. “But I’ll walk you over.”

  Pauline handed Teddy over to Brydie. “You two are already the best dressed, in my opinion,” she said.

  Brydie resisted the urge to lean down and hug the old woman. Pauline had been so kind to her, and for a moment she found herself wishing that Mrs. Neumann were her own grandmother. It was a shame, Brydie thought, that she didn’t have any children.

  Brydie sat Teddy down on the ground and said, “Come on, buddy.”