Pupcakes

by Annie England Noblin

  “That’s what I told Leo!” Elliott said, throwing her hands up in the air from her position on the couch. She was lying back against one of the arms, her feet propped up by several pillows. “He told me I must have vertigo.”

  Brydie grinned. “That sounds exactly like something he’d say.”

  “Doesn’t it?” Elliott shifted her weight, groaning as she moved from her back to her side. “Anyway, I really appreciate you coming to help decorate. I can’t believe we let it go so long. We always have our tree up on the first day of December!”

  “Well, you are pregnant,” Brydie reminded her friend. “And you and Leo both work.”

  “He works too much,” Elliott grumbled. “He promised he’d stay home today and help me decorate. And instead, he went off to chase some ambulance!”

  “He’d kill you if he heard you say that,” Brydie replied. “You know he hates it when people call him an ambulance chaser.” Brydie cleared her throat and adopted her deep, self-important lawyer voice and said, “I’m a personal injury lawyer, ladies.”

  “Speaking of ambulances,” Elliott began, “are you ever going to tell me what happened with Nathan?”

  Brydie sighed. “There’s nothing to tell. It just didn’t work out, that’s all.”

  “Oh, come on,” Elliott said. “You brought me five pounds of peanut brittle today. And peanut butter bone-shaped cookies for a dog that I don’t even have. You’re clearly upset about it.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” Brydie said.

  “It matters to me.”

  Brydie turned from the Christmas tree to look at Elliott. “Do you think I have too much baggage?”

  Elliott’s eyes widened. “Is that what he said to you?”

  “He met me at the store for breakfast a couple of weeks ago,” Brydie said, walking over to the couch and sitting down beside Elliott’s elevated feet. “I was in a terrible mood. And then I fell asleep at work when I was supposed to be in charge up front. Some lady came in and yelled at Lillian, and I was too busy sleeping to be there.”

  “Oh, Brydie.”

  Brydie closed her eyes, willing herself not to cry. That’s when she felt Elliott’s hand on her shoulder.

  “Brydie? Brydie?”

  Brydie opened her eyes.

  “Brydie, oh my God, Brydie, my water just broke!”

  “What?” Brydie blinked. “Your water broke? But it’s not time!”

  Elliott held her stomach with one hand and gestured to Brydie with the other. “Go get Mia. I’ll go grab my bag.”

  Brydie hurried up the stairs to the end of the hallway where Mia slept. She grabbed the little girl a change of clothes and stuffed them into a bag hanging on the closet doorknob. Then she picked up a sleeping Mia, shushing her back to sleep as she walked back downstairs to find Elliott.

  “I called Leo,” Elliott said, handing Brydie the keys. “He’ll meet us there.”

  “Which hospital are we going to?” Brydie asked Elliott, realizing she had no idea where she was supposed to be taking her.

  Elliott ushered them outside and locked the door behind them. “What? Oh, Baptist Memorial.”

  THE WAITING ROOM in the maternity ward of the hospital wasn’t exactly where Brydie thought she’d be spending her evening. Mia, for her part, was behaving herself splendidly. They’d been there all of five minutes before Leo came rushing in and was ushered back to labor and delivery. Since Elliott’s parents were on their way from Jonesboro and Leo’s parents wouldn’t be down from Missouri until the morning, Brydie had been recruited to watch over Mia until someone arrived.

  Truthfully, she didn’t mind, although she was a little worried about Teddy. She knew he’d be pacing in front of the door, expecting his supper. There would be hell to pay when she got home, and she just hoped that he didn’t take it out on the trash can.

  Brydie glanced around the small, square room. There were two televisions sitting up high and a little play area for kids—currently Mia’s favorite spot. The windows that looked out into the whitewashed hallway were covered with spray snow, and someone had drawn snowmen on each of them. There was also a Christmas tree in another corner with blinking lights and a nativity scene set up next to the coffeemaker and packets of powdered creamer.

  There was something both comforting and disconcerting about seeing a hospital decorated all festive and cheerful. Brydie was sure that it was mostly, hopefully happy on the maternity ward floor. But in general, people didn’t come to hospitals for happy reasons. She wondered how it would feel to receive news that a loved one had died while a cherubic Santa waved at you in the background. She wondered if it made it easier or worse for doctors, for Nathan, to deliver such news.

  “Bwydee?” Brydie was pulled out of her daydream by two tiny hands patting her legs. “Bwyyyydee.”

  “Mia, what’s wrong?” Brydie asked, alarmed that she’d not been paying attention to the little girl. “Do you need to go to the bathroom or something?”

  Mia shook her head. “I’m hungry.”

  Brydie looked at the clock above the Christmas tree. They’d been sitting in the waiting room for nearly four hours. “Okay,” she said, standing up. “Let’s walk down to the cafeteria and see if we can find something.”

  Mia took Brydie’s hand as they walked out of the waiting room. She wanted to inquire about Elliott at the nurses’ station, but decided to wait until they came back. Maybe by that time Elliott’s parents would be there and could get some information. Since she wasn’t family, the nurses had made it pretty clear to Brydie that they wouldn’t be able to tell her much, and she knew that childbirth could take a long time. When she’d been married to Allan and trying to get pregnant, she’d read as many books as she could on the subject. Brydie could say, with absolute certainty, that she wasn’t jealous of the actual birth part of pregnancy. It seemed exhausting at best and excruciating at worst, and there were some women, like Pauline, who had to go home without a child.

  The thought made Brydie wince, and she pushed those thoughts from her mind. Elliott’s baby might be coming early, but he was going to be fine—better than fine. He’d be perfect.

  “I want cereal,” Mia whispered to Brydie as they entered the all-but-deserted cafeteria.

  It was the middle of the night, and it surprised Brydie that it was even open. She smiled at Mia and sat her down at one of the tables. “Wait here,” she said. “What kind of cereal do you want?”

  “Mommy doesn’t like me to eat Lucky Charms,” Mia replied. She balled her hands into fists and rubbed at her eyes, yawning sleepily. “But it’s my favorite.”

  “Lucky Charms it is,” Brydie said, giving her a wink. “Just don’t tell your mom, or I’ll be in trouble.”

  Mia nodded and gave Brydie the kind of smile children give when they’re conspiring against their parents. “Okay.”

  Brydie plucked two bowls from a stack at the cereal bar and filled one with Lucky Charms and the other with Frosted Flakes. She turned around to grab two boxes of milk and ran right into Nathan.

  “Whoa, careful,” Nathan said, taking one of the bowls from her as she was about to drop it. “Let me help.”

  Brydie opened her mouth to ask him what he was doing there, but closed it up again. She knew what he was doing here. He worked here. She made her way over to Mia and put the bowl down in front of her. “I’ll go get you some milk,” she said.

  “Brydie, I need to talk to you,” Nathan said. “I’ve got some news about . . .”

  Brydie’s heart leapt into her throat. “Is everything okay? Is it Elliott . . . or the baby . . .?”

  “No, no, it’s nothing like that,” Nathan replied. “As far as I know, everything is fine with Elliott and the baby.”

  “Then what is it?” Brydie asked.

  “It’s Mrs. Neumann,” he said. “I guess Dr. Sower’s been trying to call you.”

  “I left my phone at Elliott’s,” Brydie explained, pouring milk over Mia’s cereal. “What’s wrong?”

&n
bsp; Nathan pulled Brydie away from Mia. “It’s not good. Dr. Sower says that if you want to see her . . .” He stopped, removing his glasses from his face and jamming them down into his white coat. “If you want to see her before she goes, you need to get there as soon as you can.”

  Brydie covered her mouth with her hand. “Are you sure? I mean, is Dr. Sower sure?”

  Nathan nodded. “She wouldn’t have called if she weren’t certain.”

  “I can’t leave Mia,” Brydie replied.

  “I checked the waiting room first,” Nathan said. “When I couldn’t get you, either, I called maternity on a hunch. I didn’t find you, but I did find Elliott’s parents.”

  “Mia, baby,” Brydie said, hurrying back over to where the child was eating. “We have to get back upstairs.”

  “I’m still eating.”

  “Nana and Papa are upstairs,” Brydie coaxed.

  “Okay,” Mia said, her eyes lighting up. “Can I take my cereal?”

  Brydie looked at Nathan.

  “Sure,” Nathan said. “I don’t see why not.”

  Nathan followed them out of the cafeteria and into the elevator. He went with them to the waiting room, where Brydie delivered Mia into the waiting arms of her grandparents.

  “Have you heard anything?” Brydie asked.

  Elliott’s mother nodded. “Leo came out for a minute to tell us they were taking her to the OR for a C-section. It may be a while yet before we hear anything else,” she said, wiping remnants of Lucky Charms marshmallows off Mia’s face.

  “I’ve got to go for a little while,” Brydie said. “But I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

  “Okay, sweetheart,” Elliott’s mother replied, distractedly. She was now on the floor with Mia, trying to keep Mia from spilling her cereal on the carpet. “Don’t worry. Everything is fine.”

  Brydie nodded and took off for the elevator. She didn’t realize that Nathan was still following her until he cleared his throat and said, “Brydie?”

  She turned around. “Yeah?”

  “Let me drive you to the nursing home.”

  “I’m fine,” Brydie replied.

  “I insist,” Nathan said. “You’ve been up all night.”

  “I’m used to it.”

  “So am I.”

  They were at a standstill, the two of them staring at each other trying to determine their next move. “I don’t have time for this,” Brydie said finally, saved by the ding of the elevator.

  “Please just let me take you,” Nathan replied. “I want to see her, too, you know.”

  Brydie sighed in an attempt to keep him from noticing that she was touched by his admission. “Okay, fine,” she said.

  CHAPTER 38

  THEY RODE TO THE NURSING HOME IN SILENCE. BRYDIE would have been uncomfortable under normal circumstances, but she was too busy thinking about Pauline to care. When they pulled into the parking lot, Nathan made no attempt to get out. He simply put the car in park and sat there.

  “I’ve been meaning to call you,” he said.

  Brydie looked over at him. “What for?”

  “I don’t like the way we left things.”

  “I don’t, either.”

  “It’s just that I have so much going on right now between this place and the hospital,” Nathan continued. “I don’t have the time that I thought I would. I don’t have the time . . .”

  “You don’t have time for what?”

  “Brydie . . .”

  “No, it’s okay,” Brydie said. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

  “I want to explain myself,” Nathan said. He was rigid, his hands still gripping the steering wheel. “But I’m not sure how.”

  “I have to go and be with Pauline,” Brydie said. “She needs me.”

  Nathan led her straight back to Pauline’s room, not even stopping to tell the front desk that they were there. Inside, the room was much quieter than Brydie thought it would be. There was one nurse monitoring Pauline, who was lying on the bed, covered up to her chin with a blanket. Her breath was coming out in short, ragged spurts.

  The nurse smiled at Brydie and Nathan. “Dr. Reid,” she said. “I’ll just go tell Dr. Sower that you’re here.”

  “I’m off duty tonight,” he said.

  “Still, she’ll want to know,” the nurse replied. She turned her attention to Brydie. “She’s in and out of it.”

  While Nathan, the nurse, and Dr. Sower busied themselves with a discussion out in the hallway, Brydie sat down on the chair beside Pauline’s bed and wiped her sweaty palms onto her jeans. She didn’t know what to say. What could she say? She took the old woman’s hand in hers and strained to hear the hushed conversation going on outside.

  If not for the way she was breathing, Brydie wouldn’t have believed she was sick. She was pale, yes, but she looked peaceful. Her eyes were closed, and her lips were parted in a silent O.

  “I’m here, Pauline,” Brydie finally managed. “I’m here with you right now. Teddy’s at home, but he’s here with you in spirit. I’m sorry I didn’t bring him. I left him at home tonight, because my friend Elliott is in the hospital having her baby.” Brydie thought she felt Pauline’s grip on her hand tighten, and so she went on. “I was at her house helping her decorate for Christmas. The baby isn’t due for another three weeks, but her water broke.”

  Pauline’s eyelids fluttered, and she began to mumble something.

  Brydie stood up and put her head closer to Pauline’s. “What? What is it?”

  “M . . . m . . . my . . . mine.”

  “It’s me,” Brydie said. “It’s Brydie.”

  “My,” Pauline said, so softly Brydie almost didn’t hear her. “My baby.”

  Brydie’s breath hitched in her throat. “What about your baby?”

  “My baby,” Pauline whispered. “Elise.”

  “I know,” Brydie said, squeezing her hand. “I know about your baby. I know about Elise.”

  Pauline’s eyes fluttered open. They were glassy, but focused. “She was my baby,” she said. “She was our baby. Mine and Bill’s.”

  “Yes.”

  “She died.”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m going to die.”

  Brydie could no longer keep the sobs at bay. She let it out, allowing the tears to fall down onto her cheeks and onto the old woman’s blanket. “You aren’t going to die,” she managed to reply. “I won’t let you die.”

  “It’s time,” Pauline said.

  “No.” Brydie shook her head. “No, it’s not time.”

  “It’s time to see Elise.”

  “I know.”

  “Will you take care of Teddy for me?”

  Brydie nodded, using her free hand to smooth the old woman’s white hair. “I will,” she said. “I promise.”

  Pauline smiled, ever so slightly, and closed her eyes. She took a breath in and with a sigh let it all back out again for the last time. And off in the distance, not too many miles away, a brand-new baby took his very first breath and a nurse swaddled him up tight to be placed into the waiting arms of his mother.

  CHAPTER 39

  BRYDIE HADN’T ORIGINALLY INTENDED TO DECORATE FOR Christmas at Pauline’s house. She didn’t see a reason to, especially if she wasn’t going to be going home on Christmas Eve. But the day after Pauline died, Brydie went to work and bought everything she could think of to make the house festive. It made her feel better somehow for everything around her to be beautiful.

  She put up the tree and the next day brought Mia over to help hang up the lights and garlands around the house. Leo had been thrilled to drop her off with Brydie, as Elliott and the new baby were still at the hospital—she’d had to have a C-section, just like she’d had with Mia.

  Three days later, Brydie found herself standing, staring into her closet, looking for something suitable to wear for Pauline’s funeral. At her own request, it was only a short graveside service. Brydie planned to invite everyone over for a little something to e
at afterward. It was the least she could do, she thought.

  After a few minutes of scanning the closet, Brydie gave up and went into the bathroom. She turned on the shower and watched the mirror above the sink fog, her reflection erased with each new billow of steam. The house, for its part, seemed to know its owner was gone, and its reaction was eerie. It creaked in the places where it was usually silent and was silent in the places where it usually creaked. It was as if a great shift had taken place, and it was waiting with bated breath for word from someone, anyone, about its fate.

  Teddy seemed to know as well. After Brydie came home from the nursing home that night, he’d been waiting for her at the front door. She’d expected a mess of trash strewn across the kitchen floor and a couple of mysterious wet spots on the carpet, but she found none of that. Instead Teddy followed her straight to bed and lay down, sleeping next to her the entire night. He didn’t even bark at her when she overslept, missing his usual afternoon snack, and he’d been following her everywhere ever since.

  He was waiting for her after she got out of the shower and returned once again to the closet. She leaned down to pet him, and noticed something sticking out from in between two blankets on the closet floor. It was the photo album from the basement. She’d forgotten all about it since the discovery of the missing photos. She pulled it out from between the blankets, sat down on the bed, and began to flip through it aimlessly. When she got to the blank pages, she had an idea. Tightening the towel closer around her, she got up and went back to the closet. She reached up to the top shelf and pulled down the Tupperware tub containing the pictures from the trunk.

  Carefully, painstakingly, she lifted the film on each of the blank pages and began to replace the photos. She didn’t know if Pauline would have wanted her to repopulate the album with the pictures, but for a reason she couldn’t explain, it felt like the right thing to do. Finally, after all this time, after all these years, the story was complete again, even if she was the only person left who knew about the album, who knew about Elise. She’d told Pauline she’d keep her memories safe. And she would do just that.